Episode 1

Okay, so now that the barrier, the sound barrier has been broken, I don't like that my little like snot noise was that long one right there. Okay, so are we like, are we loving, are we loving, um, no we're not, wait, what was the name that we were going to be, um, I'm like sweating all over, um, it's, oh I've got time today, I've got time today, okay, I was like it's giving today, it's giving today, it's giving today, but same thing, right, but that's what, we can't do it's giving today because then we will get cancelled when it's not, right, when it's giving tomorrow or when it's giving yesterday, they're gonna be like, when it's giving five years ago, right, right, and they're like we don't give a shit about y'all beginning relationship, friendship, that's not fun, right, um, yeah, it's, we've, what is it, I've got time today, that was our idea at first, yeah, but, we can say something along the lines of, it's a brainstorm, yeah, okay, I do wanna, well, no, that's not the way to start it, I am a little worried though for when we do smoke weed on the podcast, and, but we're doing that right now because it's fun, I know, we've busted the bomb, we've busted the bomb, so, so, no, but, see, we're gonna get cancelled today, we're gonna get, oh, cancelled, that can be the name of our podcast, they're already, cancelled, they're already cancelled, no, leave us alone, we're just trying to chat, no, and then we can talk about cancelled culture, cancelled culture, stop cancelling us, they wouldn't listen, anybody who talks about cancelled culture, is cancelled, right, basically, right, exactly, but apparently you're not allowed to cancel other people, like, no, you can cancel other people if you haven't been cancelled, but like, apparently, you don't cancel other people because that means you are cancelled, I don't know, let's stop saying cancelled, and cancelled, and see, cancelled is cancelled, hold on me, heat this off, silly Gav, okay, so, but I am a little worried though for like, maybe if I like, forget water on this, like, in the stew, and, um, if I forget in the stew, in the stew, when I'm in the stew, potting it up, if I forget water, but I'm like, smoking, but, oh, what's that sound, what's that sound, your kombucha cap is in your hand, oh, but she's drinking a cloud, ooh, but I'm drinking a cloud, but like, no, but for when we forget, um, like water, and we're smoking, where is that, oh, that was cool, very cool, anywho, smoking, and we have like, cottonmouth, we have cottonmouth, god, I wish it didn't take me so long to say that, wait, where were you going with that though, it was, remember, it took me a long time to even bring that up, okay, so, let's move on, okay, um, let's talk about, this is the longest time that we have been apart for, I think, it's been like, three months, because you graduated in December, and I saw you then, yeah, but you know what is crazy, that literally, when we were in Boone, for graduation, we were at A&B, and you literally, we were sitting there, and you were like, yeah, I'm gonna buy a plane ticket right now, yeah, like, I hadn't even moved in, or anything, like, you literally were like, yeah, I'm buying a plane ticket right now, and it was like, I don't know how much money, but you were like, whatever, I'm getting it, like, for some reason, I don't know why, maybe it was because of that, yeah, but I don't know, maybe it was because of that, but, like, that shit, I was just like, banking on it, this whole time, I was like, okay, fair, it's coming in March, fair, it's coming in March, like, I'm gonna be fine, make it till March, and I was like, and it went back to fuck, because now you're here, it went by so fucking fast, February went by insanely fast, I mean, like, I know it's a shorter month than whatever, but, like, it went by so fast, especially, well, January probably went by even faster, just because we saw each other on the first of January, and I feel like February has literally taken up so much time. Okay, yeah, because I would go back to that, because I think that February, even though it's the shortest month, that shit was fucking long as bologna balls. February? Yeah. Yeah. Long as bologna balls. It literally went like, yuck, yuck. No, it was. Because I feel like, when me and Wren stopped vaping, it was like, name for all, not Wren, the V word. Oh. When me and Wren stopped kissing each other, when no one's looking, we, like, I'm thinking about it, and I'm like, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna listen to this song again, because it's just literally mesmerizing. Where's the remote? Okay, go back. I don't know. Um, but yeah, February was definitely longer than January, I don't know what the fuck I was going with at that. Yeah, but you started off, like, mad strong in the direction of February. Yeah, I mean, February being, like, don't be short, but. Definitely couldn't tell you. Okay, so Izzy, how about you talk about what it's like about to be 24? Um. Or being 23, your Jordan year, what is it, what does it consist of? Honestly, I guess I can't really say what it does consist of, I can say what it doesn't consist of. Okay. If that's a better way to put it. Well, we'll see where this goes. Right, because, I mean, this totally could be way different for a lot of other people, and honestly, for pretty much everyone I know it is, but, like, I should have thought that I was gonna graduate and just be like, eh, everybody is gonna want to interview me. Like, people skills out the ass, everybody's gonna want to interview me. One interview, bam, job. Loving it, in and out. Wrong! Literally wrong. So, jobless. And I mean, maybe this is just me, but, I don't know. Alright, if we're being, like, for reals and stuff, like, like, I just don't, like, my mom and Riley both say to get, like, another job, or, like, just, like, a waitressing job, just to, like, make some money, like, fun money, or, like, stuff like that, like, especially because of, like, the privilege that I'm in, because of my parents, like, letting me, like, kind of live like this, and they were like, why don't you just at least, like, have another job just to kind of, like, not just have to, like, get by, like, and I don't know, I just don't want to, like, hope and to hear that. Cancelled. I just got cancelled, because I live off my parents' money. Everybody just cancelled me. Literally cancelled. I'm straight up fucking cancelled. Fuck this, fuck this loser bitch. Um. You better stop. There's more people that are living off their parents' than not, trust, they're just Eric, Eric, Eric, um, what's the DJ's favorite name? Don't try and change the subject, because I know it's Eric. Eric? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Okay, so, go on with your. No, but, truth be told, I was. I was going somewhere, and then you just. No, but. Eric? No, but truth be told, I just don't want to have that kind of job right now, because first of all, like. It feels like you're moving back. Yes, God, take the fucking words out of my fucking mouth, Claire, you fucking. No, I feel you, I feel you. I give my all for you, Claire, I give my all for you. Yes, it feels like I'm just kind of like taking a step backwards, like holy shit, it was this big ass deal ever since you understood why you were going to school, and it was literally to graduate, so you got a degree, and then you got a job. Everybody got a degree, and then got a job. Like, why did I never hear about this time in between getting a, like, graduating, and actually getting a job. Yeah, like the process of getting a job. Right, the process of getting a job, the understanding of it, like, hmm, how long it actually takes to read a job, like, application. The duties. The duties and responsibilities and everything, and then be like, okay, now let me put it into a cover letter, and let me rearrange my resume so that it specifically highlights their key words. Bitch, that's three and a half hours of my fucking life. 60 milligrams of ADHD medication fucking down the hat. So fast. Fucking, holy shit, I got my nice ass keyboard too, thinking I was doing something. Nothing. Holy cow. No. Holy shit, no matter how much I, like, prepared. Too much. It's too much. It's too fucking much. It's too much. It's ridiculous. And it's like, is that lazy? I don't think so, because I should be able to, if you are interviewing me in person, like, you see my resume, and you're like, okay, these are the qualifications. These things on her resume match the potential qualifications. I'm going to call her for an interview. Like, that in-person interview should be literally what dictates the rest of it. That's it. It's a motherfucking it. It's a cover letter. The fuck? Leave my cover letter out of this. I hate that shit. Leave my cover letter out of this, first of all. And second of all, stop making me fucking attach my resume to the job, like, application when you just made me write out my entire resume in your little, like, section. What the fuck is this forum that you are trying to get me? What is this? Attach my resume, bitch. I just gave you my resume. Like, uh, uh, uh, uh. Okay, I'll tell y'all a secret, y'all. I said, our listeners, the audience, write, hey, how, hey, how. Okay. We have to work on that. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Hey. How. Right, we gotta be way faster. Okay. Hey, how. Oh, boy! Alright, alright. Where are we going with that? No, but I will, I will tell a little secret about me. Um, so, my mom, my mom, like, this, this family that we lived with in our neighborhood, like, we became best friends with them or whatever, like, Bessie's mom, parents love them, like, whatever, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. So, full circle around, my mom ends up getting, like, oh, Jesus, this, like, Bessie, my neighborhood's, like, daughter, at the, like, she just graduated college, and also my school, like, a job. Okay, full circle, now, we're trying to see if, funny story, her name is actually Claire, too, Claire can get me a job. Claire, I sent her my resume, and the first, I sent her, actually, three resumes, I'm not gonna lie to you guys. First one, first one, I sent to her. She's like, okay, like, cause she's trying to get me to work for, um, something for, like, environmental education for children, which would be top tier, would absolutely love to do that. But, sent her my resume, and I, like, thought it was gonna be kind of quicker, no response really, and then I'm like, you know what, maybe I need to fix my resume, so I fixed my resume as Abby helped me, and it was, like, I thought Bessie was top tier, top tier, I was loving it, like, I was like, beautiful, absolutely. Like, we sat there, and I was like, wow, this is the most productive day that I've ever had. Right. Sent it to her, her response was, aw, that's cute, I'll send that, like, I'll, I'll see what I can do, or, like, something like that, like, I just remember, aw, that's cute, and I was like, oh. Is it? Is it? Okay. Like. You were like, you know what, just, just don't even, like, don't send me that. What the fuck? That's cute. What the fuck? No, how is that a professional response? I'm sorry. Oh, that's cute. Girl. What does that mean? I was like, I'm not really looking for cute, I'm looking for, yeah, you're hired. Um. We need that. Like, what do you do when somebody responds to your resume with cute? Yeah. That's kind of like a backhand. Like. No, like. It's like, what are you saying? Like, I get it, I'm not very qualified, but like. Damn. Right. No. But it's also like, that could mean anything. Where it's like, not even the qualifications, where it's like, just like certain people have like editing shit about their resume, and it's like, okay, if you can fucking read it, then it's fine. Like, it doesn't, I don't know. I, I mean, like, giving all love to her because she, like, is somebody who's like very important to our family, like, I absolutely love her, but that's just why it was like, I think kind of such like a nonchalant response for her as well, because it was like, she was like, just saying exactly what flew, like, came off the tongue, but it just happened to be, oh, that's cute, but it was just like, oh, no, maybe, like, she is older and wiser than me, so she, like, would think back on this and be like, oh, that's not like, that deep or anything, but since it is, this may be like first big opportunity for me to like, actually get like a job or something big, like, to get a response that says, oh, that's like, that's cute, like, oh, let's just kick you a little. Yeah. Let's just hit you a little. It's a toughie. Yeah. Let's just beat the fucking shit out of her. That's a rude idea. Let's just curb stomp her. No. Yeah. I mean, I, let's hope not. Let me, like, but like, I mean, I guess that's why I said I made three, though, because I did, like, I didn't really respond to that, like, at all. Like, just, I didn't really know what to say. Like, no straight up ghost. Like, I was like, I don't know how to take this blow, so I'm just gonna take it right to the chin and step out of this relationship. No, no, no, no. But I waited a little while, and then I sent her another resume. Change it right back on up. I'll get it. You get redeemed. Right. Thank you. I'm so excited. Right now, no words, nothing. Cute wear, bitch. Black and white this time. Simple, easy, goodbye. Cute wear, simple. Right. Give it to me or I don't. I don't care. Right, right. That's my mark. Right, right. Three resumes. Who sent you three resumes, okay? I did. I did. Change that up. Three times. Three. Literally. Oh, god. That's the most you got. I mean, is that actually Beyonce's body? What? Who else's body would that be? But, like, do you think she got, like, solid, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like Uh, well, we would have to, oh, if he saw her cat, he'd kill her. Um, she's tall. Oh. Um, usually though, but it needs to be something that's just like chill vibes up and down. Pussy cat with the paws and claws, bitches. Uh, it could literally be University of your mom. Is that copyright? Let's look it up and see if there's a podcast called University of your mom, because I feel like that would be literally University of your mom. What's the name of your podcast? University of your mom. Okay. There's your mom's university. Oh, there she goes. Hit me right in the guzzle. But that's basically it for University of your mom. Let me look it up on Spotify. a podcast. So welcome back to University of your mom. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey That was not Chance. Chance the Rapper? That was not Chance. It wasn't Chance the Rapper? Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Yes! Fuck! That's embarrassing. Oh. Oh. Oh. Okay. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um.