Dating on the Spacecoast

Give me a go, no, go for launch. Booster. Go. Threshold. Go. Vital. We're go fly. Guidance. Guidance go. Surgeon. Go fly. EECOM. We're go fly. GNC. We're go. Telmu. Go. Control. Go fly. Procedures. Go. INCO. Go. Launch control, this is Houston. We are go for launch. You are physically repulsive, intellectually retarded, vulgar, insensitive, selfish, stupid. You have no taste, a lousy sense of humor, and you smell. It's 106 miles to Chicago. We've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes. It's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the Space Coast. I'm your host, Bob Iaccino. And I'm your host, Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. 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And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. And I'm Bob Iaccino. OK. Number 16 is India-Atlantic. Really? Yeah. Yeah. No, India-Atlantic. I think there's a lot of old just couples there. You know what? There's a lot of people on POF on India-Atlantic. POF. POF. Sorry, that's a different episode. But we'll get into that. Number 17 is Malabar. Yeah, I've heard a lot of Malabar. Actually, I think there are signs as you go through. It says, come for the tacos and stay for the women. OK. I missed that sign somewhere. I don't know. I see that on TikTok. It's probably not true. So next on the list is unincorporated Brevard County. Well, that makes sense. Who the fuck lives in an unincorporated Brevard County? Is that a real place? That is a real place, so I understand. I've never heard of it. Yeah. Number 19 on the list is Grant. Do you know where Grant is, George? No. OK. Grant is down US 1. It's over on the very south end of the county. Oh. Yeah. Past Palm Bay. A lot of these places I've never heard of. It's basically swampland. There's nothing to do there. No, exactly. So that's no surprise. But here is a big surprise. Number 13 of the worst cities for singles dating in Brevard County, Cocoa Beach. Fucking right. I'll tell you why. You want to know why? Tell me why. The ladies stay here the fuck away from Cocoa Beach for good dudes. Every one of them got a DUI. Every one of them works in a restaurant. Are you talking about the dudes? The dudes? Not all the dudes, but a big, big, whole thing. You're saying there's quality dudes in Cocoa Beach? No, the opposite. I've driven through Cocoa Beach at like 2 in the morning, and it is like the walking dead. The biggest complaint these girls get, like they say, I'd date a guy if he just had a fucking job and a car. Yeah, if you have a job right now, and you're way ahead of the pack. Yeah, and by the way, fellas, I'm not talking about living in your fucking car and working for yourself. That doesn't count. No, that doesn't count, no. So yeah, Cocoa Beach comes in at number 13 on the list. I believe that, yes. Let's talk about some of the best ones, though. So coming in at number five with a rating of 45% is West Melbourne. Yeah, I know why that's true, too. Why is that? Because you'll have a lot of professional women. So they're not going to date a bunch of scumbag guys. They're just going to have a bad time with them occasionally. I believe some of the phrases that men have whispered in the women's ears, and a woman had told me this, and this is one of my favorites. Comes up, he says, hey, how you doing? It's like, hey, how you doing? I notice you standing right there, and I just want to say something in your ear. I want to eat your blah, blah, blah. And it's like, oh, man, I thought you were normal. Sorry, lady. Does that really work for some guys? Just coming out and saying, hey, I want to dine at the Y. It does work. You have to be in a Ferrari, and you have that $100 bill state bill. And you have to be 6' 5". Yes. Everybody's got to be 6' 5", in order to ride that ride. Right. Number four, and our friend Janice will be happy to hear this, Titusville. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Titusville, coming in at 31%. Yeah, all the guys are, it seems like an Ocala area. It seems like a lot of southern kind of gentlemen, like construction workers, backhoe guys. Blue collar type dudes. But you have the space center right there, too. So you do have some. Well, there's a lot of engineers. Engineers there, too, right. And we know engineers are scumbags. They like pussy. OK. Maybe not. I don't know. That's my impression of it. Coming in at number three, I think we should have a drum roll here, or something like that. Number three, Vieira. Vieira. Vieira. Well, again, you're talking about this side of town. We're talking educated people there. We're talking people with boo-hoo bucks. Well, our girls live out this way. And that's how we get some quality women. Our girls are quality girls. Coming in at number two, my hometown, Melbourne. Yeah, Melbourne. Melbourne's hopping. But you have downtown Melbourne. A lot of things are going on. Right, yeah. It's like Park Avenue in Winterport. Yeah, and who doesn't love downtown Melbourne, right? It is nice. This one really surprised me. This one will blow you away. Coming in at number one. Do you want to take a guess at number one? Go ahead, Dick. Take a guess. I have to say Mimms. It's not the tightest hill. No, take a real guess. OK, real guess. I'm going to say Palm Bay. That was a good guess. No, Coco. Coco? Coco slash. City of Coco? Coco slash Rockledge. I disagree, arguably. Whoever wrote this list is bullshit. I said take it with a grain of salt. Grain of salt. Take it with a hatchet wound. Coco, Rockledge. I mean. Look, the whole town shares a set of teeth. George, where are we going tonight to find women? We're going to Coco. Coco to find some women who make bad decisions. No. That's wrong. That one really surprised me. But as far as dating goes, women outnumber men in the county. Yeah, for sure, yeah. Yeah. We have a population of about 617,000. Those are. That's how many boobs? You do the math. One times two. I'm very bad at that. So ages 20 to 29, there's about 65,000. Ages 30 to 39, there's about 71,000. Ages 40 to 49, there's about 66,000. And our group, 50 to 59, 87,000. And the group leading the pack, the boomers, come in at 98,000. Well, you know what? Our group and the older group are like, fuck this dog shit, man. We've been there twice. Exactly. Exactly. So from 50 to 59 and 60 to 69, those are the people with the biggest population. That's the biggest population of single people in the county. Well, you know what? Nobody wants us. Well, they want us now, me and you. We have two people that want us. Well, you know, I wonder how many people have just given up and said, I'm done. I'm going to live out the rest of my life alone with my cats. Come on, man. For me, I know you're one of these people. You just, women like you because you have a very comfortable, peaceful way about you. You're not aggressive. And you're very comfortable. You've got that dad bod going on. A dad bod? That bod. Well, you've got a dad bod. You've got a dad bod, too. Yeah. Right. I have not checked it out. OK, I won't hit your ass. But the guys do have the advantage because we've got 50.7% female population and 49% male. Ladies, I'm sorry, man. Stop getting fucking cats. No more cat rooming. Yeah, get rid of the cats in the flannel. And by the way, he doesn't have to be six feet tall, babe. Your butt's not getting smaller. He shouldn't have to get taller. OK, so we just lost a bunch of women listeners. Congratulations, George. Yeah, I'm just kidding. Hate me. Tune in for the next episode of this movie. I'm going to shoot myself. Send the hate mail to George at Space Coast Shit Show. AKA Gary Hawk. Yeah, so those are the facts there. That's what we're looking at in the county. And we do have plenty of entertainment. And compared to where I came from, the Midwest, not a lot going on. But here, you can find something every night going on. I mean, there's a band playing somewhere. I do like that, because not only I like to do a shout out to two groups, Chuck's group. We have a lot of favorite groups, yeah. Call the Wolf is one of our favorite. Badass drummer. We're going to have a whole podcast about our favorite groups. And we want to get some feedback from the members of the Shenanigators and the Sexy Singles. Also, I want to mention one of my favorite all-time bands down here, Beachside. It's going to be Whiskey Juju. All those guys are rocking. Those guys are rocking, yeah. Solid, man. One of my favorites is a group called Galaxy. Those are really good guys, too. And Luna Pearl, we have. Oh, Luna Pearl, I like it. Luna Pearl is great. The female singer is such a presence. Yes, she's absolutely stunning and talented as all. Right. Somebody who would never date you. Of course. I looked at her, and she said, you're standing too close to the stage. I can smell you. I was like, how so? Your nose is in my crotch. You just want to leave her a tip. Speaking of tips. Just the tip. Just the tip. We have just the tip from George coming up right now. Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. Hey, everybody. How you doing? This is George with just the tip. So we all have these towels that are old, frayed, and have the little ringlets at the bottom. You know what I'm talking about. The pair of underwear looks just like it in your drawer that you had since 1992. Well, let's not get backwards a little bit. So the other day, I'm in the bathroom drying myself with the towel and the little ringlets at the bottom like a hangman's noose. So I have a drop of water coming down off the beat of my nose. And it's tickling me, so I got to get it real quick. And I come up, and I, damn it, oh, my god. The string caught me up around the balls. So my PSA for you all is throw out that goddamn towel. It ain't worth it. And this is George with just the tip. And this is George with just the tip. Just the tip, guys. Where else do you get that kind of information? Well, listen, that's a good tip, because I really could have hurt myself. I live alone. I don't even have the life alert. I'm falling, and I can't get up. You may want to consider one of those. Well, now you hear that commercial, I fall, and I can't get up. You got to take a blue pill. But I don't think that commercial is playing anywhere anymore. That's like 25 years old, George. Are you sure? I'm sure about that. It was the cat's pajamas back in the day. Again, with the cat's pajamas. OK. The bee's knees. I think that's going to do it for this week. Next week, we're going to be talking about dating apps. All those dating apps that everybody loves to hate. So we want to get some stories from our members on the Facebook group. So please. Tagging on the site, and put it up there so we can. I know there's lots of horror stories out there. Five of those of my mother. What app is your mother on? She's on Tinder, Bumble, P-O-F-F-F-I-S, and my favorite, bang it in my ass, you dirty, dirty whore, you, app. Again, we're keeping it classy here. Keeping it classy, one voice at a time. That's it for this week, folks. All right. A song in your face, a song in your heart. Later.