Ep. 1 Pilot

Tyler and Jacob discuss their experiences growing up in conservative evangelical Christian households in Florida. They talk about the different types of conservatives in Florida and their desire to explore more politically and culturally involved topics in their podcast. Tyler shares his struggle with the strict beliefs of his family and the negative impact it had on his thinking. They also discuss their future plans, with Jacob going into pastoral ministry and Tyler wanting to make a change in liberal philosophies in government. They express frustration with the conservative mindset and the difficulties in having rational conversations with them. They discuss the need for progress and the importance of listening to others in a democracy. They reflect on their experiences with religion and mental health, and the need for vulnerability and therapy. They also touch on the generational divide and the challenges of older generations not giving way to the younger generation. Hello everyone, thank you to the very first episode of our podcast we're making, very first Rough Draft actually. And me, Tyler Hughes, and Mr. Jacob Gleason are going to talk about where we're from, what we've experienced growing up, and after that we'll make more episodes about more politically involved things and culturally involved things. We're both really interested in that and we talk about it for hours on end so it only makes sense to us we try to do something like this. So we'd like to go ahead and welcome you to the first episode of Florida Man Hour. Purely ironic. But we're both from Florida so we thought it's fitting. Yeah, so you're from North Florida and I'm from Central Florida right? Panama City, Florida. Woohoo. And I'm from the Tampa Bay area. Which with that it kind of gives us a little bit of a weird insight in on like a snapshot of conservative evangelical Christianity. And we, and a lot of people don't realize this about Florida but there's different types of people littered throughout and different versions of conservatives and things of that nature. Despite Florida being overwhelmingly conservative, as you can imagine, the southern part of Florida where Jake is from is where you're going to find any more real liberals. Or Gainesville. I hear Gainesville is pretty populated with liberals. Yeah, but there's college there. Yeah, colleges do that. But that's the way it is here. So that only makes sense. Well, I guess I'll go ahead and get started. So I know I grew up in more of a Baptist slash Pentecostal, Assembly of God leaning background. With my family being a little bit of a cult offspring just because they all live on one street together. So that kind of makes it where we didn't accept new ideas too readily. I can see that. But yeah, no, I started off, I would say that my family was pretty moderate. And then a lot of it really ramped up during the beginning of the Trump years. And I think evangelical Christianity has kind of ramped up a little bit more since then to begin with. Yeah, we're definitely sitting in this narrative of Christians feeling threatened that their culture is being taken over. Now that the left has some power. Really, that's ultimately, ultimately what I feel like they're afraid of and insecure about, which is why they've been acting so bizarre. It's strange culturally, because the evangelical movement only, it's a short lived movement, all things considered historically. They didn't really get popular until the 70s. Yeah, the whole, let's become religious, because we're becoming an empire and that kind of structure would be helpful. Christianity is in the main religion. So it only makes sense to use that one. But yeah, I grew up in a pretty strict Baptist household. I just turned 29 in July. But my parents had me in their early 30s. And by what I remember telling them, that's the timeframe when they really started taking all that seriously, more seriously than they did before, despite growing up in it. They named me Matthew, but I go by Tyler, which is my middle name, just, you know, to be a reflection of the Bible. My whole purpose, really, I feel like growing up was to be the evangelical poster child. And I'm just not that person. I, growing up early on, I could tell I was a free thinker. And I struggled with things like that, where you couldn't really question anything. And that's unfortunately a big part of that religion these days. And it's counterproductive for anyone's mind. You know, I think it's honestly selfish to set yourself in such a way that you just refuse to listen to others. And you know what, I struggled with that for a long time growing up. I still struggle with it now. I'm a lot better about it. But I feel like that's one of the negative things I learned at church. I just applied it to my own form of thinking. I think before we go too much farther, it might be important to display, like, kind of what we're looking at going into in the future. Because personally, although I'm looking back on a negative aspect of my evangelical upbringing, I am going into pastoral ministry. And Tyler's looking at going into something political. Yeah, anything, anything starting out to get my foot in the door, I don't know what I want to do, exactly. I just know I want to help make a big change into more liberal philosophies, because it's my just personal opinion that Christians are holding us back from any kind of growth and morality. So that's what I'd like to do with the government. And I think as conservative as things have been lately with the Supreme Court, you know, rumors, regeneration starting to, you know, fade out, just like the traditionalists before them. And I feel like most of the younger people, I mean, even include me as younger, you know, millennials, zoomers, and Gen Zs, they obviously don't care about those kind of things. And, you know, if we're working off votes, eventually, you know, those things are going to take over. Well, I say that, but our government's pretty shitty. So they always find loopholes around things. Yeah, we'll see if we ever get elected in. Or if the boomers hold on to it with every dying grasp. Yeah, which is a possibility. I don't know how they live too long with that kind of stress and their inability to, and I'm not saying all boomers are like that. I really try not to be a stereotype. I am. But I would say a majority are like that. And, you know, I've met, I mean, I've met a few cool boomers, but I feel like what was so cool about them is they were obviously very, not entirely left, but they- Countercultural. Countercultural in that sense. Not that they go out of their way to, you know, present themselves in such a way. I was a part of an atheist group, or whatever you call it, here in Conway for a little bit, and it's atheists, but it's really just for secular people. I actually consider myself secular. I don't consider myself an atheist. But, where was I going with this? That's my problem with ranting. The boomers. Yeah, so I'm not trying to say all boomers, you know, are difficult, but a lot of them are. And I think it's because a lot of them, especially the white, are pretty spoiled. And I feel like that's rubbed off on our generations as well. I think the boomers can't grasp the idea that they taught us this. You know, they complain about how our generation is just so dopamine-seeking, you know, always trying to do something that boomers never necessarily agreed with, but, you know, we've been repressed. So have they, for generations. I think a big thing, too, that is one of the big cultural clashes that's going on right now is the fact that we were taught these, like, good, pure morals that are, like, at the base of Christianity, like caring for others, and like, do unto others what you undone to you, and shit like that. And then at the end of the day, we look at the societal scale, and we realize that our whole society that taught us this was hypocrites the whole time. And they're not willing to see that. Yeah. You know, and it's because they've been... One day, they were fed the red scare. Like, I was working for a local kitchen for a long time, and had a relationship with the owner who was trying to convert me, and anytime I brought up communism, not even, like, advocate it, because I don't even really consider myself communist. I'm more socialist. But, you just get, look so uncomfortable and uneasy, and it's like, why, dude? Like, do you still think there's sleeper agents out there? Maybe. Yeah. And my dad's the same way about it. Like, I almost got in an argument one time with him when I told him I had been reading about it, and I just kind of stopped, because that was an issue within itself. But, yeah. I tend to have... So, you can't have rationalized conversations with these people is what I'm trying to say. Yeah. It's kind of strange, because they're the happiest to live in a country where you can voice these opinions. But then as soon as someone voices them, they're the most pissed off. Yeah. And that's exactly it. That's the tradeoff with freedom of speech. That means it can be used against you. So, if you want to live in a world where everybody has an actual fair voice, you have to make that sacrifice to where you have to listen to others, at least if you want it to work. You know, if you live in a foreign-tarian based society like China, obviously things would be different, but this is a democracy, and I just... I don't know. I see so much in our species, and I feel like we could accomplish so much, but the only way we're going to do that is we just have to start figuring out, you know, when we need to figure out our emotions better, because technology progressed way quicker than what our emotions have been able to handle. That's why people are driving themselves insane and depressed on social media. But, yeah, and I just don't see us progressing that well if we're stuck with this conservative tick on our backs all the time. Well, and I don't really... and this is a main point of contention. I think that for a lot of people, I think it's easier just to throw the whole religion thing away and be like, well, that's what's conservative. That's what's causing the problem. But as someone who does... I would still label myself religious in some way. I think that it's kind of hard to argue these people outside of religion, because then they just kind of brand you a heretic, and then... I mean, I even get branded a heretic as someone who's in the religion, but... See, and that's my thing. Especially as someone... due to my experience growing up, I experienced some drug problems. I just also had ADHD, so my dopamine doesn't really produce efficiently. So that was the way I was dealing with it. And when I got off drugs, I never really thought about it in a sober mindset, and there was a long period of animosity from me towards Christians, but I mean, that's gotten better now that I've gotten therapy and worked through it. But my thing is, as someone who's done things that aren't necessarily the best for your image or, you know, in general, I believe in giving somebody the benefit of the doubt, because, you know, I used to be a certain way, and I almost thought I was never going to change from that way, but I put in the effort, I reconsidered some of my past actions, and I realized that I had to be better. So that's what I did, and you know, that's why I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I've actually just had to... sort of... quit the slash-fire situation today, actually, with one of my... out of my employer, and I had a bad feeling going in. I really did, and I saw a bunch of red flags, but I wanted to give the situation the benefit of the doubt, I wanted to give the manager and the owner the benefit of the doubt, even though they had behaviors I found suspicious, or... I don't mean suspicious as in sketchy, but just... obvious favoritism within the family kind of thing, and I've had a hard time dealing with that, because the local kitchen I worked at earlier that I was referring to, that was the same thing there, and I was there for three years, and all I've taken away from that situation is that those things don't seem to mix well. It ended with that whole... whole kitchen I was working out with the church, especially with Christians, because it just seemed like the entire time the owner of that kitchen was talking to me, he was just looking for a way to persuade me about things, and like, he'd always tell me that he respected the fact that, you know, I look for new knowledge, and I explore and stuff, but he didn't seem to have any capability of doing it himself, and I just don't understand that. You know, that's what I feel like faith takes a lot from is, you know, self-confidence and things of that nature. I... I think that the way that Christianity in America has made itself, yes. Because I've made this argument before, that I think that Christians today have redefined what faith means, and that it means something completely foreign to what the authors of the Bible were trying to prescribe. Yeah. And what I was trying to end with, the whole benefit of the doubt thing, is I've given Mr. Jacob here the benefit of the doubt, and, you know, if more Christians behaved such as him, or at least a lot closer to it, I wouldn't really feel this animosity, you know, with the church and with Christians and what I experienced growing up. Because I feel like Jake, you practice a very, what I would refer to as organic form of Christianity. Well, I... I try to take some of the ideas that I learned from my childhood at face value sometimes, and one of these ideas that I heard a lot of people say that seemed admirable, but no one really seemed to be practicing, was this idea that, like, your relationship with the divine is personal, and it's completely foreign to each individual, and your way of perceiving it is completely different than someone else's. I think that's fair. I feel like that goes well with most religions and intellectuals. I mean, of course not everyone is going to practice a religion the exact same way, but I feel like within the time period we've been in, we've learned so much about mental health, there's definitely some lines we need to draw. I got taken advantage of by that as a child. And I don't know if you heard the same thing I did. What was it? Growing up Pentecostal, they said that it was a spirit of depression, and they believed it was an actual demonic presence that I was allowing in my life. Yeah. Yeah. I've never heard my parents refer to it in that way, but it's always spoke of Satan and everything. Yeah, that kind of Baptist household. Gotta love it. And you know, as a child I was a believer up until about age 9 or 10. Growing up I was an avid reader, and I just started reading science books and learning about hormones and stuff, and I just come to the conclusion our emotions and behavior, as mysterious as it is, which I think is kind of the interesting part, it can be worked down to as science, and we can definitely function better as human beings and become more than what we already are. And I feel like we're not really proving that. We're just destroying our own planet. We're not doing anything for ourselves. It's self-destructive. And this goes outside of the US. There's capitalist greed everywhere. And I feel like for individuals in our country to have real freedom of speech, just really be able to be themselves, as long as it's not harmful to others, you know, will be a Jeffrey Dahmer. But yeah, that's just where I feel like it is, and it's frustrating because all the conservative evangelicals are just too prideful to believe that, you know. Especially white ones with the situation they've grown up in and everything, they're just accustomed to having things their way. Just their way. You know, that's how my dad and mom are, that's how the majority of the people in my family are. And they think it's the default. And that's a slippery issue, because culturally being white is its own thing, and evangelical Christianity is its own thing. And you're not gonna think that's the default unless you're born into it. Exactly. You know, I would think a lot, I never told my dad this, because he would just throw a huge hissy fit, but I just feel like a lot of what he, you gotta remember, he's in his 60s now. So he's a true old school boomer and everything. The world was just completely different when he was growing up. But I feel like that proves, with what he struggles with now mentally and emotionally, that it wasn't healthy. And he's convinced himself that it was, because he's always been too afraid to really question what he's being taught. To be fair though, I can only imagine how his father, who wasn't even his real father to begin with, would react to certain things he did that weren't allowed back then. He talked to me like he acted like he was afraid of him, which I never understood. Because he took the same approaches with raising me, and that's how I felt about my father growing up. I was always afraid of him. And that's kind of where a lot of the mental health issues started. And I just, it's barbaric to me almost, personally. Well, in my way of thinking, there's kind of this idea of, just to prepare people for when I talk, I study religion, so sometimes it's kind of irreseparable in how I think. There's this idea of generational curses, and the only way that you break a generational curse is if one person in the family line repents from that curse. When they repent from that sin, then it's gone. And I think that that's kind of the ancient world's way of reflecting on mental health. Yeah. Just pretend it doesn't bother you, which is bullshit, because you could have something happen to you you don't remember that's permanently changed the way you think and feel. That's what bothers me about their idea of handling emotions and stuff. They say it's weak, but they're really just too, they're not strong enough to be vulnerable. And that's, from my experience with therapy, that's how it works. I actually started going to therapy because I had a relapse. And this was here, after I moved here to Arkansas. And I just knew it was because of everything I experienced growing up. I knew that's why I liked to drink new stimulants. And I knew that shit wasn't going to change unless I went and got help. So that's what I did. You know? And I've learned more from therapy to help me with my life than I ever have from church, if I'm being honest. Not that there isn't certain things from the church that I think are appropriate, and I think we should try to aspire to with social behaviors. You should try to forgive people. I had a really hard time with that growing up. But recently, it's been something I've been working on, and I've realized there's been incidences in the past where I've fucked up potentially good relationships because of my trust issues. Everybody has their problems, and everybody handles things differently, and whatever. And sometimes people are just going through a bad day. So I give people the benefit of the doubt in that aspect, but once it starts becoming a repeated behavior is where I start to lose my frustration. And that's a lot of what the boomers are experiencing. They're so caught up in the habit of their lifestyle, they don't know how to navigate out of it or even admit that it's an issue to begin with. Well, and that's something that we see generationally, that that's a problem. There's always the issue of the older generation not willing to give the reins to the younger generation, and now where we're running into a problem is that the older generation's living forever. I mean, before, whenever your older generations would die off in their 60s, we didn't have this problem nearly as bad as we do now. Yeah. Yeah. When you see this aspect in other countries, I think, you know, I was talking about Japan the other day and how they're experiencing this population decline. You know, a lot of people first thought for a fixer that we will let people migrate. But the Japanese, they're very prideful. I actually consider the Japanese to be, Japanese culture to be extremely similar to evangelical culture. And over there, that's a problem too. There's, you know, I watched a video, I forget who it was, but it was this guy from Japan and he was talking about pretty much the same thing we're talking about now with their older people that have their soul stuck in their waist, you know, prideful. But who knows, I mean, eventually everything comes to an end. Yeah, pride's a weird beast that tends to wrestle the heart a little bit. And I have a problem with that as well. But again, you know, I watched my family act that way. I watched the people at church act that way. I'm not saying that's, it's not an excuse for the way I behave now because it's my responsibility to control my emotions and choose the way that I respond to things. But I learned it at church. I learned it from the older people who are supposed to be teaching me better habits that they don't actually understand. Well, that's something that, like, as someone who, I function within the realms of the church, and I see a big issue with, especially the evangelical crowd that I was raised in. We focus on this idea of personal salvation over communal salvation. And how you reach communal salvation is through discipleship. So like, becoming a more well-balanced human being is how you save the community, not by preaching a gospel to people. And the church is so stuck in its way when it comes to preaching and preaching and preaching that there's nothing to gain. I mean, now they're the old ones that are holding everyone back whenever the church used to be a progressive force in society. Yeah. Yeah, and, you know, that's my issue with the church. I would consider myself against the church. I've told Jake to teach his own church, I'd go to that church, and that's a lot coming from me. But, yeah, it's just the frustration with the hypocrisy, you know. They're the ones that are supposed to set the standard for being, you know, a better person, and they really don't, for the most part. I don't believe in stereotypes, but I would, I think it's more than obvious from recent events, and just, you know, honest history, which, you know, is always messed with. That these people just don't set the standards that they try to make other people follow. That's what I find so frustrating, that's part of the reason I had, you know, such a hard time respecting my parents growing up. I really tried, and I just came to the conclusion that I couldn't, you know. How could I? And it's like the same thing I've been experiencing at jobs and stuff. And unfortunately, that's just part of the workforce, especially in a capitalist-based society. But, you know, I feel like, especially now that I moved to Arkansas, and I've really been working on myself at those places, and I feel like I work with kids, that even if they're older than me, and I feel the same way when I'm around boomers, I sometimes just feel like I'm around kids, by the way they react to things, and think about things, and it's just... The things they will complain about at times, and it's not even a real problem. It's just something in our culture changing they don't want to agree with, and they don't, they don't, they don't really have a good reason to disagree with it either. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just, it's different. So it has to be bad. No. And it's, it's strange when a group that relatively, in the scheme of things, only started 50 years ago, controls the country, but then they rely on a book that was 2000 years old. Which, in your argument, has been poorly, poorly translated, correct? Yes, and then even more poorly quoted. Because I think that that's a big problem too, is whenever you quote certain things out of context, it really, I mean, they'll be the first ones to shout that if you quote them out of context, then anything sounds terrible, and then it's like, okay, well, but you're doing the same thing with your holy book. And documentation. And that's a strange concept, because I mean, for a lot of scholarships, they all pretty much agree on what, like, the Bible has to say and stuff like that, but then we have 45,000 denominations in the world. 45,000, not many. 45,000. And just for Christianity? Mm-hmm. Just for Christianity. Worldwide. In the US, we have about, we have just under a thousand in the US. But yeah. Once you get into Africa and stuff, there's a lot. Yeah, and that's another thing I've been, I had a hard time being in school, seriously, growing up. A lot of you, things I was experiencing at home, and my ADHD. But, you know, I grew up, I was like, just starting high school when Facebook came out. So I've been on the internet for a minute, and you know, I personally want to tell any younger people than even myself that you should be, you know, where was I going with this? You should be mindful, you know, about how much time you spend on a computer and stuff, because I feel like that's what added a lot to my emotional problems. And I feel like, you know, there's some truth to members being, you know, skeptical about it, you know. And they're right, you know, spending time on that is bad for your brain, it's bad for your eyes, I'm pretty sure that's why my eyes are messed up, I have to wear special glasses that help with screens. But at the same time, I don't feel like they take the time to, it's like almost anything, you know, the internet, you have to use it in moderation, and you have to respect it for it to be productive, and you know, good for us. Well, you have to be mindful, no matter what. And that's a big thing that I realize a lot of people have a really hard time with, is with anything, being mindful. Because like, that's something that, as I studied, whether it's religion, or society as a whole, and other cultures, you have to take the time to realize where people are coming from, why they think the way they think, and stuff like that. And a lot of these people, part of it's because of their mindset. And if there's anything that goes against them, then they have this adversary, like the Satan, or the devil, that can infect people in the mind. And thinking that way is useless. And it creates no public discourse, which creates problems. I agree. So, Jake, tell me about your teenage years, going out and pushing. So my teenage years, this is kind of the moment where religion took on its own thing for me. Because I was skeptical as a kid, and going into 12 and 13, I was willing to finally admit to myself that I didn't believe in what my family believed. But you believed. Well, I didn't believe in anything until I, it was about a week before I turned 13, I tried to kill myself, and a group knocked on the door who was going to a Bible study next door, and they accidentally knocked on my door. And it kind of felt like perfect timing. Yeah, and I'm not trying to break you off or anything, I'm just going to say that that's something I noticed with a lot of theses, something of significant positive impact, that's their first line of reasoning, that it has to be something outside of worldly functions. Well, and that's where, I mean, me saying that religion is something that's overwhelmingly personable, like, it's something personal. And when I had that moment, I wasn't sold on the group that knocked on my door or anything, but I took a three-month break from going to my family's church that we were going to, and I sat down and I read the Bible for the first time, and I read the Quran, and I read the Book of Mormon. Because to me, the idea of monotheism felt more proper, I guess, in how I think. And now I would say that I don't believe that way entirely, but in the moment, that seemed more correct. And then that's kind of where I started developing my own beliefs, was whenever I sat down and I read the Bible in a three-month period, whenever I was like 13. That was a big eye-opener for me, because it totally changed how you view things. Because you're not just reading verses and out of context, you're not just reading the required material after a Sunday, you're sitting down and you're reading the whole book, even the parts that aren't that pretty. See, and growing up, I mean early on, in grade school even, when I really started getting into reading, I was reading a lot, because I was just... the church never felt right to me, you know. I wasn't... even as a young child, I could see a lot of the hypocrisy, even though I ended up taking that route myself for a long time. But one thing I was never allowed to do was study other forms of religions. So, I mean, I'd do it in my spare time, on the computer, at the library, or whatever. That's where a lot of it started. I had to hide a lot, because my family would not have been okay with... I think that my Book of Mormon that I owned eventually ended up getting burned by my family when they found it. Yeah, there was an incident in middle school when I checked out English, book on Judaism, from the school letter A, and my dad just made me return it. Yeah. I mean, it's one of those things that to me, for a lot of people, since we don't grow up in a polytheistic society, which is the landscape of the Bible, they don't know how to handle other religions other than thinking that it's malevolent, and that it's always meant for evil. And I don't think that that's the case. And I don't think that that's even the case that the Bible lays out, personally. But especially within the Abrahamic faith, I mean, realistically, at the end of the day, Mormons and people who practice Islam, they say they worship the same God as me. I don't know if I entirely agree with that notion, but at the same time, I also say to other Christians that I don't think that they worship the same God as me. Because if the ideals are completely changed, is he the same God? Yeah. Yeah. And that's another thing, due to the internet, I learned a lot more about religions than what I was being shown in the textbooks in school. I mean, I didn't really try at school growing up, so I wasn't put in AP classes or anything like that. And I think that's the closest thing you're going to find to seeing any kind of honest history about the Abrahamic states. But it's obviously whitewashed now, especially in the South. Well, and it matters where you're learning about it, because that's where I learned a lot of my history at the base level, was through AP and college classes that I took in high school. And you learn a pretty good history of how the religion spread and stuff like that. But I mean, these classes didn't take enough time to stop and be like, this is the historical Jesus, or this is the historical Muhammad. Because in the grand scheme of things, that's not that important. Yeah, I actually have a friend who's like a pen pal. I've talked to her for like 10 years. She's a Muslim. And out of like, honestly, a lot of stuff she talks to me about, it seems more progressed than when I was raised. And I mean, it's similar. But like, you know, they have, they don't just have, she told me they don't have just the Quran, they have the Old Testament, or the Torah rather, you know, the Bible and the Quran. They have a copy of each at their house, because they feel it's important to read all the information. And as someone who studies religion, that is technically true. Because, so Mormons, they'll say that all three are equal, like the Old Testament, the New Testament, and the Book of Mormon. For Muslims, they believe that the Old Testament and the New Testament were corrupted. And then they believe that the Quran is the Word of God. So they believe that the Quran in Arabic is infallible, whereas the Old Testament and the New Testament might have had mistranslations. Which, I agree that I think that they have had their fair share of mistranslations. But I do not believe personally that the Quran is from Allah. But I can respect someone who comes from that background. I mean, me too. And as far as stereotypes go, I really try not to play into stereotypes that much, because I feel like that's an ignorant behavior. Being baby-faced has taught me anything. And you're an idiot if you just assume things about people based off looks. Not that you shouldn't be mindful, but... But as far as stereotypes go, I have a lot easier time talking and socializing with American Muslims than I do with American Christians. To the point I feel like a lot of the hysteria around 9-11 is a little ridiculous. I mean, I do think 9-11 was perpetrated by Muslims, obviously, but I feel like there was very little done to prevent that. But I'm not going to go into the conspiracy theory right now. It's just like, you know, when I meet these American Muslims, 90% of the time, you know, they're well-educated, they dress nice, they take care of themselves. I feel like they didn't... you know, their grandparents, you know, came here for that reason. Because it was just so awful where they were growing up. You know, that's why people jumped the border at Mexico. And it doesn't make sense to me that in a supposedly Christian nation, they don't have at least some kind of program for refugees. Yeah, it's a little strange. When we have all this room and resources. I mean, especially if we're going to view it as that, and like, we want to try to make the whole Christian nation argument. One of the big things is Leviticus 18, which is the idea that you're supposed to love your neighbor as yourself. And then someone asked Jesus, well, who's my neighbor? And he says, the foreigner. And it's like, well, is that how the modern Christianity has perpetrated that will? And I don't think so. Yeah. So and then I just feel like that's another form of the hypocrisy. You know, Muslims will migrate to this country mainly because they're trying to get away with what's going on over in the Middle East. And the only people that probably hate these people more than old school white conservatives are the Muslims that stayed behind. Because, you know, they switched cultures to what they consider to be probably the most evil form of government that ever exists. Well, and with America, especially over just Western Europe, but they, it matters on their reason for coming over here, because Muslims are a universalist religion like Christianity is. So they believe in conversions. So some might come over for conversion reasons. But others are leaving because realistically, their countries are riddled with war brought on by the West, right? But their only solace for freedom is to embrace the culture in which is attacking rights. But you know, it's bullshit, because we have freedom of religion is supposed to be a right. And it just doesn't feel like that way a lot of the time, especially in the South. And it's really the South, you see this, you know, evangelical cancer that's just spread through the generations. I mean, where'd you go to high school? Did you go to high school in Florida? I did. I went to Moseley High School for four and a half years, and I dropped out. But yeah, even then, you know, I grew, I was born in 1993. And for the time period I grew up, I feel like is when things actually started to become more progressive in the school system and all that and whatnot. So it wasn't too bad in that aspect. But there was definitely times where teachers and stuff and staff would go out of their way to try to stop things students would be doing because they just didn't morally approve of it. Like I, and I think a lot of that has stopped in Florida, at least whenever I was in high school in Florida, but then coming out to my last year in Arkansas, they prayed before graduation. And that was insane to me that the principal prayed. I was like, what are you doing? Oh, yeah. And small towns in Arkansas. They're really like that. Honestly, I had a, I have a buddy of mine I worked with at a retail facility who worked at a Harps somewhere very small town. You know, I technically worked for Harps, but I was working at one of their children company that they own. And a co worker of mine who started at the Harps where he lived, they would pray before work. It was optional, apparently, which I respect to a degree. But I've after, you know, 10 years of trying to figure out the adult thing, one thing I figured out to not shit where you eat, I feel like that's part of the problem in our nation. You know, certain things should only have certain be in certain outlets. Like, I don't think religion and work should be mixed together in any aspect. I mean, obviously, if you go to work at a missionary, whatever, you know, that's a religious job. But you know, politics and stuff, you know, well, once that's thrown in, that's what's making this cultural war seems difficult. So this is where I'm going to pipe up real quick. Everywhere, bringing prayer into the workplace and into schools is very strange in a Christian context, because it should be frowned upon. Because even Jesus said, when you should pray, when you pray, you should close your closet doors, and no one should hear you. Like you shouldn't be boastful in your praying. You should just pray to yourself to God. And that's not practiced culturally here in the West. Yeah, we want to force people who don't even believe in God to pray with us. And that's insane. It's almost like a fad at this point with them than an actual religion. It's just like a social standard. Well, it happens to be not technically religious, but based around it. It creates a group that means that like, once you create this divide, then you can see other people who are part of your norm and be like, yeah, you're a part of me and you're a part of my group. And that person isn't. And it's just another form of segregation that we can create amongst ourselves. Yeah. And that's the thing I've been thinking about this a lot recently. You know, I don't know if I necessarily believe in the idea of a goal. Well, now I'm starting to because of how, you know, how big the world has become and all these. That's the hardest thing I think about the government and political work. The littlest thing could have the biggest change. You have to consider everything constantly. And what I notice is one of two things going to happen. Hopefully, you know, the younger generations such as ourselves cut out this bullshit Christian agenda, you know, make things fair for everyone or it's just we're going to fucking kill each other. Eventually. Or, you know, not I mean, I'm not to be an exaggeration, but, you know, we're always going to be at each other's throats is what I'm trying to say. Well, there's too much conflict in the world right now. And I know that's natural, but that's what makes me see things that are globally like it's not going to we want all the things to go smoothly. That means we're all going to have to make a certain sacrifice. We're not going to agree with personally with how, you know, messed up, how to mess up things. Christianity has done over the past 2000 years. I have a really hard time, you know, wanting to be accepting of that religion, but I can't go around saying that, you know, you should try to everyone should try to be respected in that sense. The whole reason a lot of people immigrated here is because it's freedom of religion. At least it's supposed to be. Well, and the thing is, is supposed to be is probably a point that we could focus in on for a little bit, because I know what I believe would probably be considered non-orthodox, and certain groups of Christianity have seen themselves murdered by other groups of Christianity within this own within this country for years. Yeah. And it hasn't ever stopped. I mean, 2008, a kid was murdered by a Baptist preacher because he said he didn't believe Jesus is God, but he believed that God the Father was. And that's problematic. Yeah, that's literally the same shit. They'll give muzzles for what they do in the Middle East. You know, when they'll pull something that's just as barbaric, they have a very violent history. Like, and I, and that's something that bothers me is like, anytime you try to point these things out in a conservative setting, it's shut down. You're not supposed to like, and I think that's what's so selfish about it. Like, they get to decide when they're being the assholes when it's not really their call. Well, and that's within the West, we have this big thing, and I think you and me would probably disagree on this. But culturally, and within Christianity, and within the West, we are at this constant argument with what's proper and what's not, societally. And these groups, if you believe in a faith that dictates what the cultural norms are, then bringing any other cultural norms to it is irrelevant to them. Yeah, and that goes any direction, whether religion. The whole reason we were at war for 20 years outside of, you know, trying to make money, because war is very profitable. The whole reason our campaign didn't work over there is because the Muslims would rather live in a Muslim-torn country than a well-functioning Christian one. Well, and a big thing, I always try to stop people whenever it comes to Islam. Do you know what the word Islam means? I've heard several different things, so I have a hard time saying that, actually. I've been told it means the religion of peace, and I forget the other things, but that's the one thing I've heard, or one of the things I've heard that I remember. So, modern progressive movements will say that Islam is a religion of peace. I don't know if that's something that is... I don't know if a first read will get you there, if you read the Quran, but the name Islam translates to submission, and that's how they see freedom. You are free to worship God within a place of submission, and that's when their culture starts to make sense to me. Because if you try to let women be more egalitarian in these countries, a lot of them will say no, and it's like, well, why? And it's like, well, you're breaking their religion. You are literally tearing away their right to be religious by forcing Christian egalitarian values. Because as much as it might be hard for certain liberal groups to admit, a lot of our liberal ideology comes from Christianity. And when we try to bring it to the uncivilized world, I'm using air quotes, that the thing is, realistically, we're bringing Christian values to non-Christian nations even if we ourselves are no longer Christians. Right. Right. It's like, it's more of a brand than a religion now. Well, yeah, I mean, it's one of those things that I'm... Or sad, like the word I used earlier. I'm a Neche fan. Yeah. And that's one of Neche's concepts is the idea that God has died. And with the death of God, you have to try to realize your morality. Because in a liberal setting, it's like, well, why is everyone equal? And it's like, well, because I want to be equal, and you want to be equal. And it's like, yeah, but how did we develop the idea of equality? Yeah. And it only came out of a Jewish God. Yeah. And I don't feel like we give Jews enough credit for that, because the Christians took over. But, yeah. Yeah, I... And in all reality, the whole reason I started talking to you a lot is because I feel like you could teach me a lot, and that's how I learned. I would just literally start conversations with people who know things, know a lot about certain things, in order to just learn. With all that being said, I feel like, despite what I've experienced, despite past feelings, animosity, things that are permanently in the past, I just don't want to waste my life being so hateful towards someone, even when they kind of fucked everything up for me. And despite that being the case I experienced as a child, it took me until I was about 24, 25 to understand that I'm an adult now, and I have to learn to work with my experience as a child. I can't use it as an excuse. One of the things my mom would do a lot that would frustrate me is, my dad grew up in a pretty shitty situation. I don't necessarily care for my dad. It's cynical as that might sound. But I can still admit, his home life was pretty shitty. He grew up back then, so I feel like with the poor understanding of mental health, even conservative white people had shit they experienced. But she always uses that as an excuse, is what I was trying to say, toward his behavior and stuff. And I'm like, why? The man is going to be in his 60s now. Not that we've talked since that's happened, but like, and it's like, you're going to sit there and tell me I can't display the same behavior that he does? You know, yes, you're never going to... and that's something I experienced with an employer today that I've had to come to an end with, is... it was the hypocrisy, you know? I just have a hard time respecting that. You know, I'm human, I do it from time to time, I'm a lot better about it, but why should I put in the effort to be a certain way just because you're telling me to? If you could meet that standard, then obviously I have less of an excuse. And that's what's kind of frustrating me, is like, I have a history of being very impatient with people, having bad relationships, I've never really been a people person. And I'm still trying to work past that, at a much younger age. And I don't understand why these boomers, you know, they can't come to the same conclusions. I mean, I understand why. I mean, I've been told, we've been talking about why for the past hour, but, you know, it's just something that rattled my mind still. I think that for them, a lot of people fought the same way they did, and then anyone who didn't was just a heretic. Yeah, exactly. And that created kind of two separate cultures in America, whereas now, with a postmodern world that we're living in, culture is something you can find anywhere. I mean, like, go down to 10 Box, which is like a local grocery store, and that's completely different than Walmart. It caters to a Hispanic audience a lot more. Yeah, and I try not to talk too much about my employment, just out of, you know, personal privacy, but I've worked at this, say, 10 Box, and that's where we made most of our money. It was from, you know, we probably lost more money from white people, because that's also a place where people try to track drugs and steal stuff. So, yeah, and I guess what you mean by that, culture is in almost everything. I mean, even sports within themselves. I think about this sometimes. I'm not really a skateboarder, nor do I know much about skating, but there's so many different aspects to skating. There's longboarding, I'm sure there's multiple different forms of competition for skateboarding, and they all each have their own little thing about them. They're quick. You know, I would also argue that I've studied culture a lot more in school from just watching people and their groups. You know, the jocks have their own thing, and they're all together because of that reason, you know. The scene kids is what we were called back when I was doing that. You know, we all had our own little clique and our own little thing, and, you know, hobbies and interests. So I think it's just natural. I think people are naturally drawn to people that think or feel similar to they do. Maybe that's what causes so many problems for me, because I enjoy talking to people that think way completely different. Yeah, I do too. And like, even if it's something ridiculous, like back home in Florida, I had a buddy growing up, and he was like just convinced that the world is flat. And I'm really not trying to say anything bad about him, which is why I'm not saying his name or anything. And I first listened to him, when I first started listening to him, it was just because it was obscurely different. Obviously, I don't think the world is flat. I never thought it did. But you know, hell, why not? Why not at least talk about the idea? I wouldn't go around saying you legitimately believe that, personally, but because I feel like it's more than obviously real. I'm not trying to get into conspiracy theories again, but I feel like that is a big subject we should cover. Yeah, definitely. Especially with everything that's going on now, everything is almost a conspiracy theory these days. Yeah, it's definitely, it's one of those things, I saw like a pyramid, and it was like the conspiracy theory pyramid, and like at the tip, it's always anti-Semitic. Like, almost every conspiracy theory goes back to the Jewish globalists. Yeah, yeah, and it's funny, I worked with this guy at Stobie's that's exactly like my friend back home. And he, uh, been almost the same person, and it's just because of conspiracy theory mindset, you know? All it takes, and I feel like we've more than experienced this in the church, all it takes for somebody to believe something is to just tell themselves enough time. That's all it takes. Like, that's the problem with compulsive liars. They lie so much that they just believe everything they make up, and that's why they get so frustrated when you call it out on them. Because they don't see that reality. Yeah, they don't see that reality, you know? Even if they're aware, they're either going to believe it or they're just going to deny it, even if they are aware that they're lying. And I feel, you know, that's selfish and irresponsible. I feel like a lot of that behavior is also seen in the church. Well, and that's... and I want to... your experience with the church has been entirely evangelical. Yeah, definitely. And I want to put that in just a little bit, because I think that there is an equally big movement, especially in the Northeast, that's not evangelical. That's more what we would consider traditional, progressive Christianity, that you and me have less experience with. And once you get outside the US, evangelicalism almost only exists in Africa. So... And I just want to preface that a little bit. Whenever we talk about the church, we are referring to that specifically, because... Organized churches, I guess. I don't want the Eastern Orthodox coming after us, because we haven't had much experience in that one. Yeah. But... Well, we just hit an hour. We did just hit an hour. I think we should stop it there.