Who Are You?

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00:00-09:17

Transcription

The speaker introduces her podcast, "Female Freedom," and discusses the importance of understanding one's own identity and finding happiness within oneself. She shares her personal journey of discovering her insecurities and building a confident exterior. The speaker emphasizes the impact of toxic relationships and narcissistic abuse on her life and the importance of healing and sharing stories. She also discusses the connection between physical and emotional health, specifically addressing her struggles with binge eating and the shame associated with it. The speaker encourages listeners to embrace vulnerability and work towards their own freedom by gradually becoming more confident and sharing their own stories. Hey girl, hey! Welcome to Episode 1 of Female Freedom. Who are you? And this is, I'm going to go into today, really just how the podcast came to fruition. Mine was, I didn't know who I was. And it's something that when you get into social media or sharing your story or talking about stuff, it, well, who are you? What do you like? Or what do you do? And that was a really hard question for me. I didn't know. And ultimately, it's the starting driver to freedom. And really, what is freedom? It can be used in so many different terms and mean so many different things, but female freedom is really being happy with who you are. And you might be rolling your eyes and saying, okay, well, I am happy with myself. So, okay, I, female freedom, gay, right? Well, maybe, but maybe not if you were anything like I was, because I started talking about not having confidence and being insecure. People were always like, oh, I've always known you as confident, or you've always been confident. On the outside, I was confident. Have you ever heard fake it till you make it? I would have never wanted or let anybody see that I was insecure, that I had self-doubt, because to me, that was a sign of weakness. And so, I built this exterior wall that was confident, maybe even bitchy, but it was all just this hard shell around this person of insecurities who didn't know who they were. And if that's anything like you, you might care a lot inside. And so, the journey for myself to freedom kind of started on purpose, but kind of on accident. And one thing that a lot of these episodes are going to be about is narcissist abuse, and some of the different topics of narcissist abuse, and ultimately, relationships, but toxic relationships. Because I also, I had never heard the word narcissist. I had never heard the word trauma bond. And what I did know is I was always getting into not healthy relationships. And when I finally started, like, what is going on, right? Like, okay, there's only one like common denominator all of the time. Like, you're the problem, right? And I was like, damn. So, I started digging, and I had talked to this very high-level psychologist, and one of the questions that she asked right away was, you know, how's your family? I love family. Family's fine. Fine. Family's great. Everything, parents together, whatever. She's like, that doesn't mean anything. And it was like, okay. And then we started to unwind in some of the things that I have learned, adapted to, grew up around, trained myself, is what was getting into those relationships. And I didn't want those relationships anymore. And so, as I started to talk about narcissist abuse, and my trauma bonding, and discarding, and love bombing, and that, women were wanting to talk, and opening up, and oh, my God, like, I would have never known, and I didn't think anybody understood, or had gone through something like me. And that made me feel so much better for sharing my story. And then they would share their story with me. And then we would heal, or validate each other's feelings. And ultimately, that's what freedom is. And throughout the process of talking about stories, and things that have happened, that I was ashamed that I was getting mentally abused. Me, confident, strong me, who didn't give a fuck what anybody thought. And now, all of a sudden, I have to come out and say, I've been being abused in a relationship for two and a half years. And that was a gut puncher. And now, I'm not ashamed to say it, because I've been talking about it. And I know that the story has helped you. And it has helped others. And every story helps somebody else. And the one part of freedom that I fully believe, you have to be ready to be vulnerable. And vulnerable is a word that I didn't want to, I'd say, sure, I'll be vulnerable. And then I would, you would not, I could be vulnerable in a situation and you still wouldn't know a damn thing about me, because of that hard exterior. And it was, you have to be ready to not want to carry the weight of those insecurities that you're holding inside of you, to get to a level of freedom to where it's not that you don't care about people, or you don't care what people think, because we're human. We care what people think. We want people to like us. That's always going to be, you know, a touch point that's out there. But truly, you're just you. You are just you. You like what you like. You're going to show up wearing whatever. People know who you are. And you're not cocky and bitchy in this hard exterior. You're just graceful and confident. Where I believe, and what I've seen throughout my research and my own journey, is that all of the things that come into play with health and freedom combine. So to lose weight, it's not just fitness, or it's not just nutrition in your diet, and it's not just mindset. It's the total package. And when you work on everything, and there's a quote, if you've ever heard, feel your feelings or eat your emotions. I was a binge eater. There's another thing that I was so insecure about, so felt so much guilt and shame, because food controlled me. I worked at Weight Watchers for 10 years. Nobody knew. I didn't talk about that. I felt mortified. If I went into a binge weekend, and then I had to show up the next Tuesday and do a meeting, and I felt like I had to hide that. Because how can you talk about diet and nutrition and health, and you're letting food control you, and you're being a binger? Once I was able to let that out, and again, letting that out, I let out the weight of the shame and the guilt that I was holding in, because there's a lot of us that struggle with control of food. And a lot of food and eating is not physical hunger, it's emotional connections. And it's learning all of this. And it's a process. Freedom is a process. And that's why this podcast, and how I want it to help you, and know it will, if you listen, and you share, and you're vulnerable, and you are ready, every story gets you that much closer to your own freedom. And what I hope is one day you'll feel vulnerable and want to share your story to help somebody, or you'll reach out and say, you know what, Kim? Me too. And even going back to the beginning, hey girl, hey! I always say, hey girl, hey girl, hey! It's how I start things, it's how I talk, it is just me. And years ago now, when I started on social media, you couldn't say hey girl, and I rocked my brain about all of these other ways I could start and say and do. And if I did something and I was like, hey girl, I'd be like, I'm not supposed to say that, supposed to do that, supposed to be that. No, fuck that, hey girl, hey! So, episode one, who are you? I want you to start to think about it, and maybe think about some of these things that maybe you're holding in, or you thought about, or you're not sure what you're supposed to say or do, or what's right or wrong. And just kind of keep those there at the surface, and every week, get a little more vulnerable, and a little more confident, and slowly work your way to your own freedom.