Cage Match

The speaker is discussing a young quarterback who is being hailed as a phenom. The speaker disagrees with this label and argues that the quarterback's success could be attributed to various factors such as a good system and luck. The speaker also criticizes the quarterback's appearance and suggests that he needs to cut his hair. The discussion then shifts to the team's performance and the speaker points out that the Texans, despite being predicted to be the worst team, have a chance to make it to the playoffs and even potentially become the number one seed in the AFC. The speaker challenges the comparison to successful teams like the Kansas City Chiefs and expresses hope that the Texans can perform well against them. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a classic cage match. Two men enter, one man leave. This week's topic, hotly contested topic. I've been hearing a lot of people in the city of Houston buzzing about it, and I'm just personally going to tell you, I am sick of it. Okay, I am sick of it. They are about to anoint this young man. Actually, let me just take a step back. My partner came over to my house the other day, and he used a word that I was very uncomfortable with. He said that this young quarterback is a phenom. He is. He used the F word. Ladies and gentlemen, two men enter, one man leave. Let me give you my take. Phenom is P-H-E-N-O-M. I'm just saying. Somebody's got to fucking tell you. One dumbass enters, one smartass leaves. That was a good one, man. That was a good one. Okay, you fucked me all up. All right, so here's the deal. I'm not willing to put the phenom tag on this. Yeah, I get it. I'm going to just say it so I know. I'm not willing to put the phenom tag on this young man at all, and here's the reason why. He can be a product of a good system. He can be a good product of a lucky streak. He can be a good product of receivers catching balls that they might not get next year. He can be a product of a lot of those things, and I'm just not willing to put it on him so early. Y'all willing to grease this boy's little nappy a little too early for me? No, sir. And you know what? I might not even put the tag on him until he cut his little girly little haircut he got. He don't look like a dude to me. He is. With his pink lips and his long hair. Wait a minute. Who are you talking about? The quarterback of the Texans. Oh, why are you looking at his lips? He's on my station every time I look up. That's why. He's on football games. They zoom in close to him. Hey, if I put it over here looking at this dude's lips. I didn't even know he had pink lips. I didn't even know he had lips. Pinky. That's what I'm going to call him. I need the young man to cut his hair. He ain't cutting that hair. That's these millennials, man. That's what they do nowadays. They grow their shit out like that. Hey, you're right. We've digressed. We're talking about lips and hair on a grown-ass man. My bad. There you go. Hey, Pierre, throw the flag at me. All right. Made me uncomfortable. Okay, Lou, back at you. There again. I told you I'm not willing to throw the phenom tag on him at all. This is a lucky year. Go. He has the highest yards thrown for four rookies. Right now, he's in second behind Sid Luckman or somebody from 1939 or 1949 or some shit. He's number two for a rookie in yardage to pass for. He is going to pass this man and be the all-time highest passing yardage for a rookie ever. This year? This year. Okay. As a rookie. For a rookie. Show me next year. I said for a rookie. Sid Luckman, as a rookie, had the most yardage ever passed. That was like 19. We weren't even born. My mama wasn't born. My daddy wasn't born. Do you know what a phenom is? C.J. Stroud. No. Tiger Woods. Somebody that's done it since they stepped on the scene. That's what a phenom is. All that Tiger has done is pumped penis to Perkins winning. But this is what I'm trying to say. Y'all are trying to anoint this young man a little too soon. Let him be rookie of the year. Great. No, no, no. I'm saying great. That's a given. Great. That's a given. Great. But you can't put that phenom tag on this young man. I think y'all jockeying him a little too early. Yes, you can. No. I think that's all emotion. That's emotion. That's the truth. No. That's emotion because you want the team to be good. You hope that the team is good. The team is good. The team is having an okay season. The team is one game out of. Matter of fact, they're not even in the playoffs. They're in the hunt. No. They're in the playoffs now. And on top of that, on top of that, there are now one game out of being the number one seed in the ALCC. Year one. With the year one, we damn near all the same players from last year. And all we really changed was the back end of the secondary. And we changed that quarterback. Everybody else, even that O-line is damn near the same. Minus Big Juicy and Mason. Do it again. It's not done yet. My point exactly. By the way, this is great because I would normally scream like this, so this is good. My point exactly. Nobody has ever done what these dudes are doing. What do you mean nobody has ever done what these dudes are doing? Name a team that was dead last. Look, they picked the Texans to finish as the worst team in the league this year. Tell me a team that was picked to be the worst team in the league, and they up for the number one seed. Joey Burrow three years ago, Cincinnati. They were not picked to be the worst team in the NFL. I don't care about the worst team in the NFL, but they'd only won like two games the prior season. No. This year, 2023, the Texans were the top odds to be the worst team in the NFL. And now they're about to go to the playoffs is what you're saying. Not just that, but they have the opportunity to be the number one seed in the AFC. That means they get a bye week. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Talk about this real quick. I swear to you. You got on a Texan jersey, but you feel like a fucking Cowboys fan right now. I can feel that Cowboy wish and dream emanating from you. No, no, no. You're acting like one of them. You're dreaming right now. No, I'm telling you facts. If that was to happen, I'll be happy. But these are facts. As of right now, they are one game out of being the number one seed in the AFC. Facts. Those are facts. I'm not trying to take that from them. That's not Cowboy talk. That's not being them. That is just the truth. If you're going to pull it up, it's the truth. I've been wanting to say that to you for a long time. If they win the next two, let me tell you how crazy it is. If the Texans win next week and the fucking Kansas City Chiefs lose, they'll have the same record. Yeah, facts. If Jacksonville also lose next week, they'll have the same record as the Texans. Time out. Let's reverse that real quick. I don't give a shit about Jacksonville, but I like it when y'all try to sneak in these comparisons to Kansas City. Are you really comparing him to Kansas City? Two Super Bowl-winning Kansas City? He was in high school when they won them Super Bowls. Okay. So when the Texans go up against Kansas City, they're about to bust that ass? I hope so. Okay. I'm not going to sit here and say, yeah, I ain't stupid. All right. That's good. But, oh, yeah. Yeah. So y'all understand what I mean? Huh? So I want to see where the pop's in the house.