Ep31 In The Shadow Of The Mountain C.L.Knox stories

The speaker discusses their podcast and how it has changed from being released weekly to now being released about twice a month. They also talk about their depression and their aversion to abuse of authority and corruption in society. They mention how they had a letter from their mom giving them permission to hitchhike up and down the coast of California and how they presented it to the police when stopped. They share some experiences they had with the police as a hippie in the 60s, including one encounter where a police officer asked them for weed. They also mention a story where they were stopped by the RCMP in Canada and their mom had to intervene to get them released. The speaker reflects on how these experiences shaped their opinions and how they try not to feel prejudice towards those from military or police backgrounds. They express their frustration with the treatment of protesters by the police and contrast it with the treatment of pro-Hamas protesters. So here we are, episode 31. When I first started, I was trying to get one out a week, an episode a week, and then it got to one every two weeks, and now it's about one every, you know, two a month, I guess is what it is now. So I'm committed to going to the end of this month, so there will be at least this one and one more this month, but I would guess there will be this one and two more. So looking at the world we're living in right now, and I've talked, previously I talked quite a bit about, or I've mentioned it often, my depression that I've had throughout my life. Not too long ago, I talked about my apparent aversion to, I don't know what the word would be, aversion, or lack of respect for maybe authority. I think I have respect for authority. I have little respect for abuse of authority and little respect for corruption, which is rampant today in our policing, in our government, in corporations, and it's just rampant. There is so much corruption, so little respect for ethics and morality, it has become a dirty place to live in our culture. Not the worst in the world by any means, but way worse than it used to be. There's always been corruption, there always will be. I haven't talked about the legalities of me hitchhiking up and down the coast of California. When I left Alabama, my mom gave me a letter that she wrote that told whoever needed to know, that expressed her desire for me to experience hitchhiking up and down the coast of California with Hoagie, and that I had her blessing. Now, in the United States at that time, or in Alabama, I'm not sure about California, I think California was then more liberal. They're always more liberal than the rest of the country. Well, New York, Oregon, but at that time, California and New York were like the places, if you want an ultra-liberal lifestyle, you know, progressive, quote-unquote. Anyway, the letter said that she gave me my blessing, that we were from Canada. In Canada, it was legal to homeschool, that I was part of a homeschool program, and that this was part of my homeschooling to hitchhike up and down the coast with Hoagie. I don't know how it was written, I'm sure it was way more eloquent than what I'm saying. My mom was actually very eloquent if she wanted to be. Huge vocabulary. There were a number of times where I presented that letter where, you know, it had an impact. In California, there was three times that I can remember where we were stopped by the police and, how come I'm not in school? And we gave them the letter, and they were like, can you believe this? And there was a phone number, and I don't remember anybody ever phoning my mom. I don't remember them ever, they were just like, they radioed back to their station, and it was like, whatever, this kid has his mom's blessing to be out here. He's not a vagrant, and he's not kidnapped, and, you know, so hitchhiking up and down, hitchhiking around in California, we had pretty good, you know, a lot of liberty in that. We did get stopped in Washington State when we went up to Seattle. That guy was, the phone number was no longer active by then. That cop was a little bit more abrasive about the whole process. I mean, when we did the caravan, like, I'm just talking about some experiences I had as a hippie with the police. In the 60s, for those who lived at that time, the police, the hippies called police pigs. Like, they had no respect for them. I think even then, that a lot of the police, a lot of the authorities, you have to realize that they're people. They're just, and not all of them are cut from the same cloth. But there was one time, and I think it was in the caravan, when we were in the caravan. We were going up, I don't remember the name of the mountain. It was on the north side of the bridge. There's a hill. There's a park. I think it's like a radar station or something over there. It's decommissioned. I can't remember the specifics. Somebody that's been there recently might remember the name of that mountain. Maybe, you know, post it as a comment if you do. And we got stopped by a California Highway Patrol, I think he was. He was on a motorcycle. And he was harassing us, but then he said, oh man, I'm looking to score some weed, man. You got any weed? And it's like, we were like totally not going to give him any weed or hash or whatever. You know, it just seemed like a farce, but it may not have been. Maybe he was legit, looking for a toke. But in California, like, I think there's easier ways to find it than to pull over a hippie bus and, you know, harass them and try to get some weed from them. It was kind of funny. There's lots of funny stuff like that in my memory. There's lots of stuff like that. So, once in Canada, it was actually worse. The police weren't, the RCMP weren't as forgiving. You know, they seemed more rigid. There's one story in particular where Joe and I were going to a concert. I may have mentioned this one before. I know I talked to Joe about it. I don't remember recording it. If I did, forgive me. We were going to a concert, I think in Vancouver. And Joe hitchhiked with, he was hitchhiking with a guy named Bernie. And I was hitchhiking with Larry, Larry Chacon. He was a Mexican-American. I still have his, when he left here, he was a draft dodger. I don't remember where we met him. Probably Rec Bay, or maybe he came to the commune. I don't remember. Somehow, I don't know how, but I became friends with him. I was friends with Bernie, too. And they seemed like they were friends. I know Larry was from Southern California, and he had a girlfriend. A lot of that I know, because when Larry did leave, he went back to see his girlfriend in California. He left some personal effects with me. Again, I don't get it. I was 12 years old, but he left some love letters, some ID. I think he was trying to go back into the States without having his legal papers. I don't know if he had false ID. Anyway, he went back. He left this stuff with me, and he never came back here. I never saw him again. I still have it. It's a little pouch. It's from the military. It's a heavy green canvas pouch that hooks on a military belt. It's full of love letters and pictures, pictures of his mom, letters to and from his mom. He was Catholic, so there's his mom talking about church. It's quite interesting. Anyway, we were going to this concert. We got dropped off, so it was easier to go in pairs rather than four people hitchhiking together. Larry and I hitchhiked together, and Bernie and Joe hitchhiked together down to Victoria. We had a family down in Victoria that were friends of ours. Actually, Joe reminded me that they came on the caravan with us. It was a husband and wife and two girls and a boy. They were, I'm going to say, messed up. They were like a huge train wreck. I remember them being messed up. It was a weird family. The oldest girl, I remember her having a crush on me. As I talked to my sister Vicky, Vicky, who's now a lesbian, said that she had a crush on that girl. She would have been six years old, so I don't know how legit that is. We were going to go and stay at their place overnight. Then my memory was catch a ferry from there over to Vancouver from Sydney and go to a concert, which neither one of us could remember. We think it might have been Frank Zappa, but I can't remember who it was. It seems like I might have talked about this in another video. Regardless, here we go again. I got stopped in Ladysmith. Larry and I got picked up in Ladysmith by the RCMP, and we gave them a letter. I had that letter. It was a newer version, a Canadian version. The guy didn't buy it. He was a rookie cop, I think. He didn't buy it. He took me in and told Larry he could go. Larry hitchhiked home, back to the farm, to the commune, and told Mom and Bryce. The cop took me to the police station and held me there for the day, like half a day, whatever. Then he ended up taking me to his house and giving me supper. Finally, when they did contact my mom, or my mom contacted them, she was furious. She was like, you bring him home right now. You had no business stopping him. He had my blessing. I knew where they were going. I don't remember if they couldn't reach her by phone. I'm pretty sure we had a phone then, but maybe not. I don't know. It seems like we did. The RCMP arranged for me to get a ride home. I can't remember if I stayed with them overnight and they took me up the next day. I honestly don't remember. First, I remember the crappy meal that the cop fed me. It was like frozen peas and frozen corn and frozen fried chicken TV dinners. It was horrible. I was used to eating crap because we were pretty poor at that time. That food was just not very good. Then I remember getting home and my mom just tearing a strip off the guy, up one side and down the other. I don't believe it was the rookie. I think it was a cop that patrolled the island that brought me home. That whole ride was really uncomfortable for me. These are events that imprint your memory and help you form your opinions. When I got into a situation where people involved in churches that I was involved with were from military backgrounds or RCMP or police backgrounds, and I was a hippie background, then there was some friction. We try, even in my early 20s, I tried to overcome that and not feel prejudice. I spoke about what's happening in the world today. I have some friends that have been RCMP. I have some people that I really respect that have been RCMP. I coached a lot of kids or a number of kids whose parents were RCMP. I know some RCMP, they're good folk. When I watched the whole truckers thing and them using those horses and trampling down the protesters, I found that infuriating. I think that I have an opinion. We're into politics maybe, but I have an opinion that the protest was peaceful and they had a right to be there, especially in light of what's happening now with the pro-Hamas protests. They're bringing them coffee. You get pictures, you get videos of the RCMP bringing them coffee, and then anybody that counter-protests, they're hauling them away. If you counter-protest... We have this political narrative. We have this political bias that comes from the top down, obviously. We know that the liberal and the NDP governments are pretty socialist, even communist, I would say. The provincial leader, he's communist. There's no doubt about it. I think Trudeau is a communist. I think his dad was a communist. Saying he's opportunist, I don't know what he really believes. He's just here for the glory and the fame. So is Trudeau. Anyway, politics. Sorry, didn't mean to get there. They say there's two things you're not supposed to talk to, religion and politics. Honestly, again, I believe if we had been more open about politics and religion and accepting people's different views, that we would have less problems in our culture than we do right now. We should be talking about our spiritual beliefs, our religion. I mean, what's more important than that? What is more important than that? And then politics, this is important as well. This is in a democratic society or in this culture that we have where we all have a voice, theoretically, and we have legal rights. We have constitutional rights to have an opinion and voice it. And yet, we're watching government squash that in Canada, in the US, in Britain, in Germany, all over the place. But in Canada, in the US, in Britain, in Australia, it shouldn't be happening. Ever since the Magna Carta, these countries have moved towards greater liberty for their citizens. That being said, I know that this friction that happened between me and the former RCMP guy, which I think I talked about in a few sessions or podcasts ago, and at that time, the pastor of the church, who was not a trained pastor. He was actually an officer in the Canadian Armed Forces, who was a retired officer. After one of the major divisions in the fellowship, the congregation that I spoke of a couple of podcasts ago, he rose to the top and became the pastor. And since then, it's sort of been whatever. I don't want to go into that because I have some respect for the people. I have a lot of respect for the people that are still involved in that congregation. I found myself moving towards depression, which I talked about earlier. I was 10 years or more depressed. There's a number of people, historic, mighty men of Christianity, who suffered through severe depression in their life. I look at it and I wonder, how is it that we have this? Part of it, I believe, is biochemical. I honestly believe that it's food we eat. Part of it's environmental and circumstantial. Part of it's spiritual. There's a longing for justice, which I've talked about before. There's a longing for righteousness and justice and love and mercy. These attributes of God that we long for. Humans long for these things. Some people put those aside and long more for power and money and authority. We're in Pride Month here now, so basically hedonistic sexual fulfillment, sexual gratification, hedonistic gratification. Some people put aside the true altruistic things of mercy and justice and take on these other issues. Those become their talking points. Those become the things that are important to them, most important. There is one thing that got me through, and I said before, Romans 8, 28. I think it's 28. It says in Scripture that all things work together for good to those who are called according to His purposes, who love Him and are called according to His purposes. That sustained me through 10 or 12 or 15 years of depression. That one Scripture. Then there's tons of other Scripture. Part of what makes me think about that is, again, I'm reading in Romans. I think I said that before. So I kind of left it and I'm back to it again, but in Romans. Romans 5, right at the beginning of Romans 5. It says, Since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, period. Through Him we also have obtained access by faith into His grace, in which we stand and in which we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. We have this hope for God's glory. A lot of that stuff needs to be broken down maybe, but basically the glory of God is to see God in His fullest, brightest glory, because that is joy to the human soul, to the human spirit, because that's how He made us. He made us to be in fellowship with Him and to experience that glory and actually to be part of that glory. To have the same glory, to grow into that. More than that, we rejoice in our suffering. So this also, this concept, which is throughout the New Testament, the Old Testament, David suffered through depression. He was considered a melancholy. He wrote a third of the Psalms anyway. These things we experience. We are able to rejoice in our suffering knowing that suffering produces endurance. So the ability to endure, it strengthens us. Whether you believe in Christianity or not, that is a fact for all humans as we go through pain and trial. We suffer and we come through it. We're stronger. We gain endurance. We have that propensity anyway. Endurance produces character, and out of that endurance we get this character. Our character is developed. If we will adopt and build these lessons into our life and our character, who we are, then it shows forward, because character produces hope. As you have this strengthened character, we gain hope, and hope doesn't disappoint us or put us to shame because of God's love has been poured in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Read that Romans 5, 1-6, 1-5. It's encouraging. It's really encouraging. We have this hope. We have this encouragement. We have this ability for joy, for peace. And the desire for justice doesn't go away. Every single person I know desires justice. You're not going to get it here. We're not going to find it on earth. We're not going to get it through the government. We're not going to see justice through the RCMP. I mean, the whole Trump trial that just took place is a grand illustration of the lack of justice. Now, for those people that hate Trump, I mean, and I'm no Trump fan, I'm no Biden fan, back to ethics and morality. Neither one of these men deserve our respect as far as for more moral or ethical reasons. But we don't seem to have that choice when we're voting for presidents and prime ministers. You know, like Jerry Garcia said, voting for the lesser of two evils is still voting for an evil. I mean, and that's true. And so a lot of people just won't vote at all. And maybe that's the way to go. I don't know. But then you don't have any grounds to complain if you don't do your civic duty. That civics isn't taught today. People don't even know what I mean. Younger people, when I say civic duty, a lot of them have no idea what I'm talking about. If you're curious, have a look at Richard Dreyfus. He set up an organization to promote civic awareness, awareness of civic duty. He's an interesting guy, actually. Take a look at Richard Dreyfus. I just saw an excerpt of an interview with him, and it was either Jordan Peterson or Joe Rogan. I can't remember which one. He's a super interesting guy. I would recommend looking into him. He's smart, too. He's Hollywood, but he doesn't fit the mold. So kind of all over the place, a little bit. I'm trying to tie some loose ends together as I'm drawing to an end. There's a couple more stories I want to talk about. One is an acid trip, which I believe was my brother Jonathan's first experience with LSD. I may have already talked about that. I'll have to go back and look in the past podcasts and get an idea what I've talked about. I'm sort of everywhere doing this. So anyway, I'm probably going to post a song from the past. I've been too busy to finish any new ones. I have a lot of stuff going on inside of me that I want to get to music and sing, and I'm really wanting to do some quality. But regardless, thanks again for joining me, and I hope it grabbed your interest some. I've got to edit it and add a song. See you next time for 32. ♪ The burdens that weigh heavy on a man, well, they weigh heavy on a man like me. And even in the quiet of the night, I know a battle that no eye can see. Like living with a tired and weary heart in the jungle that a mind can see. And there is the weight of one man's soul, even so that one man believes. It's only natural. It's not like I've lost all hope. I haven't lost any at all. It's not a fear about my destiny. It's not a fear that I might fall. I have a goal that I still press on to. Though through trials I must go. The things I've done, no punishment to suffer. The things that it did to save my soul. The very thing it did to save my soul. Sometimes when I'm crying inside me, I wish the tears would flow. That someone might see me and understand, you know. Because when my heart is weary and my strength is fading oh so low. My faith is seeming cloudy and the world is growing oh so cold. It's only natural. There's still something that I have to live for and that's more precious than gold. Runs like a river right through the center of everything that I know. Truth is my ally and my sword is in the spirit and faith is a shield all around me. The things I've done, I know that I won't die for. The thing that it did to set me free. The very thing it did to make me free. I don't want it to look like desperation. It's not, I just need some clarity. Cause in my heart I need that deep relation. And won't have been found in His love. Can't you tell when you look upon me, I feel pain like every man. And in my heart there is this mighty fortress and that my friend is God. It's my God. It's my God. It's my God. It's my God. It's my God. It's my God. It's my God. It's my God.