Ep 40. Lessons from the 75 Hard Challenge - Dirty Chai with Chio

The Dirty Shirt Podcast discusses the 75 hard challenge, which involves sticking to a strict diet, drinking a gallon of water a day, exercising twice a day, reading self-help books, and taking progress pictures for 75 consecutive days. The challenge is primarily a mental toughness challenge, and the biggest obstacle to completing it is oneself. The host shares her experience of initially doubting her ability to complete the challenge but ultimately realizing that she had underestimated her own capabilities. She emphasizes the importance of approaching new challenges with grace and taking them one day at a time. The host also discusses cognitive dissonance and how resistance to change is natural. She concludes that one should not limit themselves based on perceived limitations, as they may not know what they are truly capable of until they are tested. Hello, hi, welcome to this week's installment of the Dirty Shirt Podcast with me, your host the podcast where we focus on holistic, professional and personal success by growing and developing the common denominator to all your successes or your failures and everything in between, you. It's about the mindset, emotional regulation and the intentional personal development that underpins holistic success. Today we're talking about the 75 hard challenge and we're talking about the 75 hard challenge because I've just completed it, yay. We started as a group on the 2nd of January 2024 and we completed it on the 16th of March 2024. The rules of the challenge, so the challenge was created by a podcast bro called Andrew Frisella from the United States and the rules of the challenge are as follows, that for 75 consecutive days, you stick to a diet or nutritional plan of your choice, you drink a gallon of water a day, there are no cheat meals or alcohol to be consumed by you for the full 75 days consecutively, you exercise twice a day for 45 minutes each time with at least one session happening outside, no matter the weather, you read 10 pages of a book every day and the book must be self-help or personal development and you take a progress picture every day. That is what the 75 hard challenge requires of you. Andy Frisella, so about two weeks into the challenge, I listened to Andy Frisella talking about the challenge as I worked out. One of my superpowers is I generally just start things and then I figure it out on my way. Sometimes that's a good thing and other times not so much. In this instance, it was a good thing. I listened to Andy Frisella describing what the challenge is and I understood what he was saying in that it is not a physical challenge. It happens to produce physical results. It happens to have a physical component, but it is primarily a mental toughness challenge. What I didn't like about Andrew Frisella was how he threw out because he's got that aggressive podcast bro tone. There's nothing wrong with what he says, but his delivery can be quite off-putting. So you just go in prepared and don't be put off in like minute two of him speaking because I remember him saying things like, yeah, only two people are going to complete this challenge and I'm one of them and I was just like, oh bro, please, please. Anyway, we probably added like four or five moms to that tally and a couple of the women in the group that I did it with, we'll talk about that a little bit later in the podcast, but a couple of the women that I did the challenge with are actually completing it for the second and third time each. So while the challenge itself is an amazing invention by Andy Frisella, his perception of the people who might be able to finish it and the number of people who might be able to complete it because it's just so hard is not accurate. Now let's talk about the things that I learned from the challenge and why I think that it's important to talk about. So number one is Nozipo. If you and I are connected on Instagram, you will know that I have an Instagram friend called Nozipo, known as Nozipo underscore Unleashed on Instagram, and she did 75 hard last year. She not only did it, she did it twice last year. I remember looking, I was watching her do it and I just thought, geez, that could never be me. That's not something I can do. Right. And when I started the challenge, I listened to 90% of my friends say the exact same thing. Geez, that could never be me. Gosh, that's too hard. Gosh, like you must have some sort of next level discipline because this could never be me. This is exactly the stuff that I was saying to Nozipo last year. And it dawned on me that the biggest obstacle to completing 75 hard is not at all that it is hard. It is you. It is me. It is the individual who has to decide that they want to do it and that they can do it. You see, you're being required to believe that you can do something that goes past the limits that you set for yourself. And somehow your whole body or all your instincts, they fight back. They say no. And I was not unfit, especially around the time Nozipo was doing it the first or second time. I was more fit than I was when I actually took up the challenge. And yet I would look at it and it just felt intimidating. Like 75 days. I used to work out before 75 hard, I worked out 35 minutes, maybe three or four times a week, which I thought was pretty good. But I also thought that was the limit of what I could do, that I couldn't do any better than that. Where was I going to find time? I'm a mom of two kids. I work a full-time job. I actually work a little bit far away from where I live. So I drive a lengthy distance to and from work. And I thought, where am I going to find time for two workouts a day? The rest we can do easily because I read already, etc. Alcohol is not a big thing in my life. But where am I going to find two 45 minute slots to work out? It just could not be me. But then I had surgery in November and I said to Nozipo, I need to join you in January because I don't think I'll be able to get back to exercising on my own. And I was right. So after the surgery, I did exercise once or twice, but I was really laboring to get my my mojo back. And so I joined her and I joined her. One of the things that I did was I accepted that I could fail. But I did not set out to fail. I did not decide that I was going to fail. I decided that I was going to give it a real try. In the early days when I would post about it, I would just say things like, let me see how long I can last. Because I mean, if you work out twice a day for two weeks and then you fall off the wagon, you've worked out twice a day for two weeks. That is a good thing. If you do it for three weeks, you've done it for three weeks. That is a good thing. People like to think, people including me, like to think it's all or absolutely nothing. But it really isn't. What is required is really for you to show up for yourself, for you to exercise, for you to do the best thing that you can. So even if you attempt the challenge, and you don't get it right the first, second or third time, each time you've added to your tally of exercise, each time you've added to your tally of good habits, and the ultimate win, which is the completion, is a bonus. That's what we're supposed to look at it like. But we look at it as, if I can't get this right 100% of the time, immediately, then no, I'm not going to do it. And that stops us from trying. That stops us from trying the challenge. That stops us from trying many other things in life. Because if you think about it, this attitude is not unique to approaching 75 hard. But it presents itself. If this is how you would view 75 hard, for example, it will present itself every time you are approaching something that is challenging. Every time you approach something that is outside of your comfort zone, you will see that you play the same script, you limit yourself in the same way. And one of the greatest gifts of the challenge, on the other side, is how my mind has opened to the realization that I actually have no idea what my limits are. Because if you had asked me on the 1st of January, if my limits included the ability to work out twice a day, to watch what I eat, and to drink the four liters of water, let me pick the two things that were most difficult for me. Things that were most difficult for me were the two workouts and drinking four liters of water a day. That was hard. That was hard. And I wouldn't have thought that I had it in me to do it for 75 days consecutively. I really just wouldn't. And because Chio on the 1st of January did not know what Chio on the 19th of March knows, she couldn't have made the decision with the confidence that I am making it now. And yet that is what we require of Chio on the 1st of January. And what I'm saying to you is, when you approach a new challenge, whether it's 75 hard or something else, approach it with grace for Chio from the 1st. Give Chio from the 1st space to breathe. Don't try to choke her. Say to her, let's see what we can get through the day. You just need enough light for the step that you're on at that time. You need just enough light for the step that you're on. Finish one day and then finish another day and then finish another day. It was 40 days into the challenge before I thought, holy crap, I might be doing this. I might be doing this. It was day 70 or day 71 when I felt the most like I might derail from the challenge. It was still a matter of showing up just for that one day. How can I complete this stuff just today? And then I'll figure out tomorrow and then I'll figure out tomorrow and then I'll figure out tomorrow. And that is a lesson that I think I will carry into any new adventure. I don't know what I don't know. And I certainly cannot stand firm on my limitations because I don't know what those are until they are tested. The second thing was resisting change is natural. It is natural to resist change. And I've spoken about cognitive dissonance before. I've spoken about how cognitive dissonance is when the thought you're trying to have or the habit you're trying to form is different or in opposition to a fundamental thought that you have that you carry in your subconscious. So maybe you have low self-esteem, right? And your subconscious is aware that you have low self-esteem because you haven't done the work to heal that part, which is okay. A lot of us are there or have been there. So you know that you've got low self-esteem and then you simply say to yourself, I have high self-esteem. I have high self-esteem. What's happening there is you are creating a cognitive dissonance. There are two thoughts that do not sit well with each other that need to be resolved. And that will be resolved in one way or the other. Either your brain will create a script because your brain has a vested interest in keeping you sane, right? It will create a script that will make it all make sense, or it will give you a story that will allow you to put those two stories together so that you remain sane and understand that the things that go on in your brain, like cognitive dissonance, they feel uncomfortable enough to feel like pain. And so your brain is very motivated to resolve these for you as quickly as possible. If I haven't talked to you through cognitive dissonance before, please revisit some of the old episodes. You'll find an episode on it. And I'll explain to you in detail in that episode exactly how cognitive dissonance works. Otherwise, you can also Google it. Check out some YouTube videos. But I won't go into too much detail because that's not the point of today's episode. The point of today's episode is saying I'm going to do 75 hard or any hard thing created a cognitive dissonance in my brain. So that cognitive dissonance became louder as I got to week two or week three. Why? Because the challenge actually hurts physically. So you see, my body was accustomed to doing the bare minimum for it, or at least what it thought was the maximum it could do, right? So it was accustomed to that 35 minutes every few days, or 35 minutes a few days a week. Then now we are working out twice a day every day. And I was still working out balance, especially in those early days. And my muscles hurt. And I remember my brain giving me scripts like, well, you can use this, you can we can make this work to exit this thing. It was, is this even healthy? I'm sure this is not healthy for you. You don't have anything to prove. You don't need to show anyone anything. You don't need to do this. No one is making you do this. You can just opt out. Like there's no price for suffering. And these are all, this is what your brain attempts to do for you as a way to aid yourself sabotage, as your way to aid your exit from something that you said you would do. And the reason it gives you these scripts is so that you don't leave there feeling bad, that you don't leave there feeling like you failed, or you don't leave there feeling mental pain. It looks for the scripts that are familiar, and that it knows that you will accept, and it offers them to you. I think one of the most revolutionary things that I learned, not from 75 Heart, but from various other books, including Eckhart Tolle's books and Gary Zukav, is that you are not your thoughts. You are the person listening to your thoughts. So if you, if you really pay attention, take a deep breath. If you take three deep breaths, you can pause your thoughts, right? Take a deep one when you finish listening to the episode. Thank you. Take three deep breaths and pause. And tell yourself, describe to yourself an image that you would like to see. So if you take a deep breath, right? And you close your eyes, then give yourself an image you would like to see. So a black sky, for example, black sky, and then put three or four stars up there. They're super bright. Then, you know, put in a moon, right? And you can see that sky that you've created in your mind. You can see the stars. You can see that moon. Look at it. Are there any details on the moon? Do the stars have pointy sides? Right? What is it looking like? What is that image that you've created looking like? What you've just done there is you've paused and directed your thoughts. The person who is looking at that sky, who is checking to see if the stars are pointy, who is checking to see if there are any details on the moon, that's you. So understand that the tape that is playing in your head is stuff that you've experienced, seen. It's a commentary that is running on autopilot. And you have the power to pause it, to change it, to say to yourself, I shouldn't believe this. This is why there's that expression, don't believe everything that you think. Because we, because of the way we are raised, because of the way we've experienced ourselves, we tend to confuse the thoughts with our essence. And those two things are not the same thing. And when I was in the hardest part of the challenge, which is the first three weeks, the second and the third week, it was my thoughts that I fought the hardest against. Yes, I had physical pain, but my thoughts were ready to go to war for us to get out of the challenge. Get through that part. And I got through that part, because I partnered with people who've done this already. And I knew that it could be finished. And I partnered with people who are very strong willed and very strong minded. So when I was feeling this way, to see Nozipo, who's got twins, and two older boys, so four children, to see Ndumi, to see Funi, who's in a different country with a different support system, and doing these things by herself, to see all of these people showing up anyway, saying, Oh, I'm also in pain, but I got it done. God, I arrived from work at like 10pm, but I had everything done by midnight. That was the perfect counter or antidote for the negativity in my mind telling me that this couldn't be done, shouldn't be done, is not healthy. In truth, I just didn't want to do it. And I didn't want to enjoy the suffering. And I didn't want to be in pain anymore. So the number one hack to countering that resistance from your brain is to partner with people who are strong willed. And when you're weak, they'll be strong, and you will feed off their strength. And when they're weak, you will be strong, and they will feed off your strength. Then number three is it does hurt. It actually does hurt physically, right? But get through that part. Don't do anything stupid. Don't injure yourself, right? But understand that the pain is coming. I think one of the things, you know, there's an Instagram expression, it says, the dream is free, the hustle is sold separately. What that means is people confuse the idea of you can be anything and you can have anything with that it will be easy. It will not be easy. It will not come easy. None of these things come easy. You have to work for them. That's the hard part. What the dream is free simply means is it's for you to choose to get through that hard part. So help your body as best as you can. I learned to take supplements and multivitamins, multivitamins and slow release magnesium were a game changer for the muscle pain, an absolute game changer, right? I learned to eat food with enough salt and electrolytes to support the kind of work that I was doing with my body. I learned to rest in motion, rest in motion. And what that meant was, whereas before I was just like a pound the tar girl, let's run hard, let's go at this thing. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. I learned that that's not always the way to show up if you're in it for the long haul, right? So I'm transitioning now from it does hurt, which is number three, and I've touched on the supplements and I'm moving on to resting on the go, which I think is an actual superpower. Resting on the go is understanding that if you're in something for the long haul, you are not supposed to run yourself to empty and then collapse in a heap and the world waits while you heal. That doesn't, it doesn't work that way. Like I said, before 75 hard, my sort of workouts were like all or nothing. Like I go in, I run as fast as I can, as far as I can, you know, and, and yeah, it's been a good day out. 75 hard taught me to spend 80% of the tank every single day. It must be hard enough that it does something, it changes something, but it must also be just enough to leave something in the tank so that you're able to show up again tomorrow. There is nothing at all glorious or even sensible or even smart about emptying your tank every single time you show up. The idea is you're supposed to run the race for the distance, not to run the race for two days and then you can't do anything. So do enough to make a difference and learn that. I honestly think that's a skill I need to take into life in general. You're not supposed to burn yourself out on a project and then be useless for three months. You're not supposed to burn yourself out on, on, on everyday tasks and just collapse in a heap because, oh God, what do I do now? And so what I learned to do with the exercise was to run hard-ish on some days, understanding that I would need to do this for 75 days. I would run on some days, I would walk hard on some days, I would hike on other days, I would do yoga on other days, I would do Pilates, different types of workouts as long as it was the full 45 minutes and one of them was outside. I learned that there is more than one type of exercise, there is more than one type of delivery, there's more than one type of way to tick the box and it needed to be a mix of hard, easy and moderate. That mix is what creates a balanced outcome, is what creates a balanced life. Lifting a hundred kgs today and being out of action tomorrow and the next six weeks is no good for you. It's not a win. It is not a win. First learn how to show up every day and then challenge yourself to do more and more. Build on a solid foundation, not on a foundation of drama. It's the consistency of appearing or showing up every day and doing something that is enough to challenge your body without killing it. That's all you're required to do and that also goes to the nutrition part. For some reason, diet culture has poisoned everybody's mind to think that every time you do a fitness challenge or every time you're asked to create a nutrition plan for yourself because that's what Andy actually did. He said, create your own nutrition plan that works with your goals. For some reason, people associate that with starving and I remember early days in the group. We had a large group at the beginning and we lost most of the people on the way but one of the things was people were so hungry and you're not supposed to be hungry. You're supposed to eat healthy. Those are not the same things. You're supposed to eat healthy. You're not supposed to starve. That all or nothing thing, it really is a pervasive thought that quietly makes its way through the different aspects of our life like nutrition and exercise and well-being and causes us to forfeit the good in pursuit of that hundred percent that is elusive. You just need a good mix. You just need to do the right things enough and the right things are eating a healthy and nutritious meal versus eating an unhealthy meal that has empty calories that you do not need. It's picking up a fruit instead of picking up an Oreo but you are eating. It's having more vegetables on your plate or a roasted piece of meat versus a fried one on your plate but you are eating. There is no success in the world of health and well-being without balanced nutrition. So if you're doing extreme things, you're doing it wrong. I'm not a nutritionist and I'm not a dietitian and I'm not a fitness trainer but I'm a person who has experienced and tried many of these things. I'm a person who's had two babies and their body went wild in them. I'm a person who has tried starving themselves and who has tried eating healthy balanced meals that are very filling in that filler plate and it's the latter that has worked for me. Figure out what works for you but starvation works for no one. Right, then the next item is God you will pee. The challenge you will pee because it's four liters of water. That is a lot of water and in the early days drinking that amount of water would make me feel nauseated, nauseous. I can't remember. I have a friend with whom who corrects me every time I use the wrong version of this but anyway it would make me feel like throwing up. Let's go with that. It would make me feel like throwing up and I learned on a micro scale the same lesson that I learned on a macro scale in the same challenge which is pace yourself. You know you need to drink four liters of water a day. Why are you starting to drink that water at 6 p.m? That was me on day one. Honestly it was the most painful experience. So I learned to drink water as soon as I wake up, to drink water an hour later, to have a glass of water every hour as we go along and it took a little while for my colleagues to adjust because I have a really small bladder and so I go to the bathroom a lot. So I started leaving meetings a lot more than I already did which was a lot to begin with and I'll go to the bathroom and pee but what I eventually learned was how to pace that four liters throughout the day so that I consumed it but I did not suffer for consuming it. That is what the challenge is. When he says that it's a mental challenge it's about learning to do the things despite the difficulty of life. So the outside challenge must happen no matter the weather because you need to plan. You need to see what the weather is saying to you. You need to figure out where you're going to find the gap to do it and you need to do it. You need to show up for yourself no matter the life circumstances is the big lesson of 75 Heart. Life is going to come at you. It doesn't pause. It doesn't pause because you've decided to do a fitness challenge. It doesn't pause because you've decided you want to try this thing that Andy Frisella created. Life doesn't do that. Life doesn't pause because you've started a new job. Life doesn't pause because your child is not well. Life doesn't pause because you want to do something and you need to learn to live in motion, to rest in motion, to go in motion. Do it while life is happening. That is the true lesson of the challenge and when it's all said and done, when it is all said and done, you realize that this thing that you thought you couldn't do, it can be done. It can be done and what else is there that you can do? What else is there that you can do? Now you don't need to do 75 Heart to get to this point. You can. You should try it maybe but you don't have to do 75 Heart to get to this point. You simply need to challenge yourself with something that is hard for you. You simply need to challenge yourself with the thing that you've been putting off. You need to step off the ledge and do the thing that you've been saying you're going to do, you're going to do, you're going to do, right? And pace yourself. Do it while the rest of life carries on. Show up for yourself while the rest of life carries on and you will learn that there is no reason for you to wait until your deathbed to have a wish or to... I've told you about the nurse who gave palliative care and she looked after lots of people who were on their deathbeds and they would say they all had the same regrets. They wish they had taken the challenge. They wish they had challenged themselves more in life. They wish they had been happier. They wish they had learned to prioritize things, to prioritize themselves, to prioritize the self-care, to prioritize the care of the people that they love. This challenge is a tool to help you see that those are things that you can do while life happens. Don't wait until you're an empty nester. Don't wait until you have more money. Don't wait until the children are a little bit more grown. Don't wait. Figure it out now while you are here in this life, in this moment, in this time. Figure it out now. So a summary of the lessons. Number one, I am the biggest challenge that I need to overcome in order to do this thing. You are the biggest challenge that you need to overcome in order to do this hard thing, 75 hard or otherwise. Resisting change is natural. It creates a cognitive dissonance and your thoughts will try to convince your body to exit stage left. It will hurt physically, emotionally. It's going to hurt. Anticipate the pain. Expect the pain. Don't be shocked and stunned by the pain. Understand that this hurts. Life hurts sometimes. Things hurt sometimes. But you can get through. You are the common denominator. That's what this podcast is about. You are the common denominator. And as long as your head space is in the right place, you will get to where you need to go. Your body will adjust. Your body will adjust. It might resist. Your mind might fight you to the death, but your body will adjust. Even in the last week of 75 hard, in days 70, 71, 72, that's when I was fighting the hardest to finish because my body was just like, unnecessary. You've proven what you need to prove. My mind was like, this is unnecessary. You've proven what you need to prove. But when I got to the end, the same mind was just like, nonsense. Your mind has no idea who's in charge. You need to be in charge and you are not your thoughts. Number five, take supplements. Mitral multivitamin, that slow release magnesium, gold. Number six, you will pee, you will pee, you will pee, Lord, you will pee. Know where every toilet is. Number seven, nutrition. You are not supposed to starve. You are supposed to eat healthy. Starvation never, ever works. Number eight, rest on the go. Rest on the go. So learn how to slow down without stopping. Learn how to show up without killing yourself. Learn how to show up without emptying your tank. Number nine, you can go so much further together. The people who have done this before were for me, the lines in which I knew to drive into. They were the ones who said to me, you might not be able to see yourself doing it, but you can see someone who looks like you who has done it. Let's go together. And that kept me going. The idea that it can be done. And funny, my colleague said to me, no one has ever finished 75 hard that she knows and therefore she's not prepared to try it. But if I finish it, then maybe she'll give it a bash. I finished it on Saturday. Yesterday, she signed up to try. That is what further together does for you. So partner with other people. When you hear yourself saying, Oh, I can't, I can't give up alcohol for 75 days. Really? You can't give up alcohol for 75 days? What has alcohol done for you for the entire lifetime that you've had it? What has it done for you? Do something for yourself. What you don't realize is that narrative speaking when it says, Oh, maybe, but I could just have a drink that unless you're an alcoholic, that narrative is simply your cognitive dissonance fighting back. That's what it is. It's simply your body resisting change. And then finally, it can be done. It can be done. It can be done by me. It can be done by you. It's up to you. And 75 hard is just a metaphor for life as well. It might be a challenge that you do, but it is a condensed version of what life looks like. You are challenged to find time to do things all the time. You're challenged to do hard things all the time. And you show up for those hard things. And maybe sometimes you don't. But the idea is, once you recognize the pattern, you know how to pace yourself, how to show up. You know that the boundaries that you've placed on yourself are self-imposed, right? You're like that ox on Instagram that puts on its own neck brace that chains itself. Once you realize that the power lies with you, that the demystification of success reveals that you are the key ingredient, my God, you can fly. So, this is what I've learned from 75 hard. You do what you will with it. Thank you for listening. If you like the podcast, please like, share, rate. If you can leave a review, please leave a review. We had some difficulty with Spotify last week. The episode was uploaded on Tuesday, but it only appeared on Friday. But it said that it had been uploaded on Tuesday. So bizarre. And I hope that we don't have any of those issues today. But otherwise, thank you. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you so much for writing back to me. Thank you so much for the feedback. I truly appreciate every little bit of it. Please keep talking to me, and I'll keep talking back. And let's grow together. Transcribed by https://otter.ai