What Does It Mean to Be A Mother? Episode 5 (05102023)

The host, Karen Penn, discusses the concept of motherhood and how many mothers today seem to regret becoming mothers. She acknowledges the frustrations and stresses that come with being a mother, especially if they are doing it alone. She mentions how in ancient times, women had assistance in raising their children, which allowed them time to relax and take care of themselves. She wonders if modern mothers would benefit from having similar support. She shares her own experiences as a young mother and how she turned to religion and self-reflection to find peace and understanding. She emphasizes the importance of mothers not forgetting about themselves and suggests revisiting past experiences to gain insight into how they affect present-day emotions and behaviors. She encourages mothers to take the time to discover new things about themselves and their environment. Welcome to Bridging Our Gaps with host Karen Penn. Thank you for joining me today on the topic that we will discuss. It will be what is a mother? What is a mother? I think everyone has perhaps their own inner interpretation of what a mother is. And of course there is a dictionary interpretation. I have here the full meaning of a mother is a female parent. A mother is a female parent. She nurtures and mothers children. It's also a term for an elderly woman or a mother superior. Your mother is the woman who gave birth to you. Mothers are parents, the female equivalent of a father. I thought that was interesting that a female would be equivalent to a father. Today I want to talk about motherhood as far as how is it that mothers today, many of them, seem to regret having become something that at one time they so desired. Now I think even the epitome of mothers has had some kind of frustration that she has experienced being a mother. So I'm not pointing the finger at any woman who is a mother and who constantly experiences frustration, annoyance, disappointment with being a mother. I think perhaps in today's world the frustration of being a mother is not addressed. We hear the word stressed out and we go it's okay. But that word is huge for each woman's interpretation of feeling stressed being a mother. The responsibilities of course are overwhelming and if you are doing it alone it's astronomical. I think that you know years ago in Egyptian times women were allowed to have what's called a handmaid. Women were also one of many wives to many of the pharaohs and so each woman who was a wife she was issued handmaidens to help her out with her children so that she had the time that she needed to relax, be refreshed, have her water prepared for her for bathing, her garments were laid out and it sounds like maybe she played with the children at some point. Certainly we don't have that kind of benefit today and I guess I could ask should we? Would that make mothers calmer? I think back in those times women did not work either so the time that they had to themselves it was truly to themselves. I think many mothers today when they do get free time they're so revved up and so I don't know full of so many things that they have on their mind that they don't know how to relax. So oftentimes mothers resort to having something to drink, too much to drink, so in their spare time they're getting so relaxed, over relaxed and that's the only way of relief and release from all the pressures of being a mother. Now some women they don't drink they do other things, they shop, you know they don't use drugs either. Some women even pray. I was once a young mother and initially I was not in any kind of religion when I first became a mother so my resolve was to go out party that was considered the stress-free place but then you're so tired because you come in so early in the morning from the parties that now you have your child or children that you have to deal with and you're not there, you're not present fully. I went through another phase in motherhood as a young mother where I began to seek religion to find an outlet to release a lot of stress to get understanding and to focus. So there were many times that I prayed in solitude and it helped me to focus, to receive peace and to get better understanding about myself as well as being a mother and a wife. So was that my full resolve? I think that there was some things I discovered that were even more enlightening which were to go back to my childhood and look at some things that I had pushed away for a long time. They were difficult things and yet I kept feeling led to or it kept coming up to go back not realizing that I needed to go back in order to go forward. And so I went through a journey of discovery, a journey of healing, a journey of processing things that happened as a child being raised in a single-parent home. It has helped me a lot. I have written a book that is called When Mama Never Heals as a result of that journey, that initial journey that reflects some things that I went through. Not all things but it reflects on some of those things because I was journaling. I was getting some things out, talking about things. It was almost as if I was hearing from the Spirit of God saying focus on this, focus on that. So I had a go-to that was bringing me to another place of relieving stress. I think maybe God knew some of those areas of stress were coming from things that were unresolved as a child, as a young lady growing up. And I needed to face them. I needed to sit in those emotions that came from those things that happened as a child. It wasn't molestation or anything like that but I would say to any woman who has children and she seems to be overwhelmed with dealing with her children all the time. I won't say that you're never going to go through that. That's unrealistic but when it's all the time to the point where you're thinking oh my gosh if I could just go back in time this is all too much. It's all too much to handle. I would change things. Children are treasures. Truly they are gifts to us that are lent to us for a season and we are responsible and required to mold and shape them and give them all that they need to equip them to go out into the world and that's a high high calling. But I think along the way during that journey women should not forget about themselves. There are things in their past whether they think so or not that they should go back to and revisit and sit through the emotion and discover things about themselves, the other people involved, the issue that was involved and perhaps even see how when you encounter a similar issue how you respond presently. Does it make you feel stressed when you encounter those same feelings you felt back when you were a child or a young woman? Does it make you want to flee and run from it anytime you experience those things similar to your past? How does the past presently affect you as a mother, as a female? I'd like you to think about that. Ask yourself that. Sit in that for a little bit because I guarantee you will discover things you've never known about yourself and about the environment that you presently live in. I hope you will come back again for the next episode of Bridging Our Gaps with me your host Karen Penn. God bless you.