Vacation, Alignment, and Love

The speaker shares their personal story of struggle and perseverance, growing up in difficult circumstances and facing various challenges. They reflect on their childhood dreams and how they have surpassed them, living a life they once only imagined. They emphasize the importance of working towards one's dreams, acknowledging that it comes with sacrifices and challenges. They also discuss the significance of their relationship with their spouse and the role it plays in their personal growth and success. The speaker highlights the importance of taking time to align oneself mentally, physically, and spiritually, through activities like vacations and self-reflection. They express their passion for entrepreneurship and the desire for the freedom it brings. They emphasize the importance of leaving a positive impact on the world and building a legacy for future generations. For years, I've shared my story with many of you, a story rich in struggle and perseverance. As a child, I was met with immeasurable odds, born in the city of Goldsboro, North Carolina, and raised by my grandmother. Despite her efforts to protect me from desperate conditions, I was exposed to violence, incest, crack addiction, and a whole lot of other shit a young soul should never have to endure. At times, I don't know if I'm haunted by my past, or if it's my superpower. At age six, I had a self-proclaimed prophecy that the world would know my name. I'm still fulfilling that prophecy. I'm here to do what I've always done, give you my story with the hope that it changes the world, or at least the world around you. Hey, what's going on guys? It's your King Forever Burl. Follow me on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok at IamForeverBurl. There you'll find all my latest posts and content. So what's going on guys? It's been a minute since I sat down and did an episode of the podcast. Man, I just got back from Puerto Rico, San Juan. To those of you who have been there before, you know the type of energy San Juan is on. And to you that have not made that journey yet, man, it is amazing. It's an amazing piece of the world. Every day I had an opportunity to go on my balcony and stare at the coast of the Caribbean Sea. It was amazing, man. I took seven days out there, so we took a full week of vacation, me and my wife. We went out there and just celebrated life, man, just celebrated my 37th birthday. So my 37th rotation around the sun. And I couldn't be happier, man. You know, a lot of times we get caught up in the day-to-day nuances. And, you know, you don't realize that, like, the dream that you had for yourself, you know, 20 years ago, you're actually living within that dream. When I was a kid, and I think I may have told this story before, you know, there was this neighborhood off of Berkeley Boulevard that I would, you know, ride my bicycle through. And I would look at those houses who I knew at that time that belonged to people who were like doctors and, you know, lawyers, et cetera. And I said, you know, I want to live in a neighborhood like this one day. And every day I would drive into my subdivision here in Georgia. You know, I'm reminded of those moments, man. A lot of times you supersede the vision that you had at that time because you got to think about it. Like, as a kid, you know, riding through that neighborhood was the best thing I had seen in real life. And so that was my dream to live in that because that was the best I had seen at that time. I'm living in a neighborhood in a home that's twice the size of the homes that I was envisioning myself living in one day. So, man, you don't even think about it because you live it every day. And, you know, when you're living a life that you've envisioned for yourself, a lot of times the circumstances of having to maintain that life supersede the dream that you're living in. Because, you know, I got to pay the mortgage every first of the month. Right. I got to pay, you know, my other debts. Right. And things of that nature every month. I can't miss the payment. Right. Because there's this thing called a credit score in America that allows you to leverage your credit and debt. Right. To live a certain lifestyle. And, you know, that's a whole nother conversation in itself in how capitalism works and all that stuff. But I say that to just say that you get caught up in the day to day nuances of paying the bills and, you know, being a father and making sure you're spending quality time with your kids. And then being a husband and making sure you're giving your wife her quality time and that you're dating her and, you know, that you're showering her with love. And, you know, same thing with your children and any other responsibilities that you have as a, you know, a mentor or whatever the case may be, a business owner. You know, you're living in the midst of that dream. Dreams cost. And let me say it again. Dreams cost. Dreams cost time. Dreams cost sacrifice. Dreams cost commitment. Dreams cost perseverance. Right. Dreams cost resiliency. Right. Dreams cost. So, you know, you have this great idea or this grand dream or grand vision for yourself. And the end state is great. But you have to understand that to get to that end state, you're going to have to go through something to get to that dream. You're going to have to pay the cost to get to that vision. It can weigh heavy on you at times. Right. But don't forget that you asked for that. That's your vision. Right. And rejoice in the fact that you've accomplished things that a lot of people have not because they didn't have the ability or the gift that is vision. So, I mean, for me, I'm constantly reminding myself of that. And the week I just took away from the mainland and away from work and I got to just focus in on me and my wife and our relationship, because that's the bedrock of everything that I do. Right. You understand what I'm saying? Like, you know, in the Bible, they say when a man finds a wife, he finds a good thing because a man and a woman. You know, I don't I say this with no malice towards any specification of preference in sex or marriage or any of that. I'm just saying for myself. Right. For my foundation. Right. The foundation that my wife and I have. Has paved the way for me to build upon the vision and the dreams that I've had for myself over the years. Right. It's like I was working towards the vision that I had for myself when I found my wife. It wasn't at the greatest point of my life. It's several different aspects financially, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. And, you know, I found her and we had our phase of growing pain. That was something that was reassuring during those moments. Right. And it's for me, it was we were good. It felt like heaven. It felt like it was meant to be. It felt magical. But when we were bad, it felt like hell. Right. But I held on to the belief that if we can make this work, there's something magical on the other end of this obstacle or these obstacles that we're facing. Right. And in order to get to the other side of that, I had to focus on myself. I had to focus on being a better man. I had to focus on aligning myself with my purpose. Right. And I had to start working on healing some wounds that, you know, I had been given as a child and how I would react to, you know, those wounds being reopened or being triggered. So I had a lot of work to do. You know, I committed to doing that work because what I felt when we were good is how I wanted to feel all the time. That's a blessing in itself. You understand what I'm saying? Like that, that piece, that, that, that love, that magical essence of our relationship, of our intertwining of life is just, it's amazing. And don't get me wrong, like we argue to get on my nerve. You know, I get on our nerves, too. But, you know, ultimately, man, like at the core, what we have is spiritual. Puerto Rico was amazing. Had a great time. Again, had a chance to reconnect with myself and align my soul and body. Right. Which is important, man. You got to you as much as you work to create the vision and the dream that you have for yourself. You have to put that same amount of energy in keeping yourself mentally, physically and spiritually aligned. Right. Because you can't go out here and conquer the world if your alignment is off. Right. It's just like a car. It's going to veer off to the left and the right. If it's misaligned, the wheels are misaligned. But when you go get that alignment. Right. And you put that same car in the road, the car continues to go in a straight line because everything is a line. Right. So you got to take these times to align yourself, whether that be a vacation to PR to celebrate a birthday or whether they just be, you know, some time in the morning to meditate and to get ready for the day ahead of you. Or whether that's to take a vacation or a week off from your normal activity and just chill and relax. Right. You know what I mean? It's just praying and just get it. Get your footing back underneath you, man. It's needed, man. Like a vacation is important. It's important to the mind, body and soul. And I'm telling you, I'm telling you. And I knew when I left to go on vacation that I was going to take time to not only allow myself, but also to take a really deep look at where I'm at in life right now and what I want next. Right. So for me, everyone knows entrepreneurship is something that's very dear to my heart and not from a sense of wanting to have this, this abundance of money. But I want the abundance of freedom that comes with being an entrepreneur. And don't get me wrong. You know, I hear all of these people out here and everybody will tell you that being an entrepreneur is crazy. It's a lot of hours. It's a lot of time. It's a lot of commitment, a lot of sacrifice that you have to put into it. But the reward is greater. Being being employed and putting the same amount of effort into somebody else's vision and dream. That's how I feel. That's that's why entrepreneurship is something that I'm willing to go through, because if I work as hard as I do for somebody else's company, somebody else's dream, somebody else's vision. How hard do you think I'm going to work for myself? I'm a go get it. You know what I mean? Like my name. Right. Itself. Right. My legacy is important to me. What I leave in those children of mine and what I leave for them are crucial to how I will gauge my success in this life. Because life is short and we have a short amount of time to come here and do the things that we need to do to prepare ourselves for the next experience. Right. And then also ensure that we leave the world in a better place. We found it. And then we leave our kids with something that they can build from that allows them to build for the ones that come after them. Right. So, I mean, that stuff is important to me. It's just like air. Like, I think about it all the time. So, you know, I said when I come back, I was going to make some some some tough decisions. Right. You know, I'm a couple of days back and. I'm still hesitant on pulling the trigger on certain things, but I know ultimately that my heart is telling me to move forward and to proceed with the plan and the vision that I have for myself. And it's scary because there's risk involved. And I know for me, it's like this. Right. And this is one of the advantages of coming from property. It's also a disadvantage to. But one of the advantages of coming from property is you start off so fucking far in the negative. Right. That to get to surface level. Right. To get to zero is a fucking accomplishment. Right. And then anything after that is just really extra. So when I look at my life, right, you know, I went from extreme, extremely negative odds to a life of abundance. Right. And there's a certain level of fearlessness that comes with that, because I know that to get to where I'm at today is achievable. And I also know that if I was to lose it, I could get it back because I to be honest with you, I put a lot of blood, sweat and tears into where I'm at today, but I could do it again. Right. You know, I might have to do it a different way if I don't have the physical abilities that I had as a young youngster. But I can still get back because I still got the mind and mental things of that nature. And I know how I got a roadmap now. Right. That's something that I didn't have when I left the block. So, you know, to take this thing to the next level for me is going to mean stepping out of this traditional path of success and going into something that's a lot more risky, which means that I have the challenge of. Making it to that next level or falling completely backwards and having to start over, but I'm not afraid, you know, I think for me, the biggest fear is and I was a biggest fear. But the most risk involved is the is the lifestyle for my children. Right. My children have benefited from my hustle and they've been. Accustomed to a certain lifestyle that comes from that. So, you know, last thing I want to do is to take steps backwards and sacrifice their lifestyles. But I also feel like that teaches them as well, because I want my girls to be fearless. I want them to go out here and do things that everybody else is saying impossible or you shouldn't do or is too risky. I don't want them to live their lives underneath that fear. I don't want them to have to feel like they have to be safe and they have to play the game the way the cars are dealt. Right. I want them to feel like they have nothing to lose ever. And as much as I preach that to them, seeing it is even dope. And don't get me wrong. I play. I do not plan on losing everything. Right. That's not the goal. That's not the plan. But it is a reality and it is a risk and it's a real risk. So if they see us take steps backwards. Right. It's not necessarily a loss. Right. It's a teaching moment for them. Right. It's like, yeah, my dad took a chance. It didn't work. He took a step backwards or he took several steps backwards, but he didn't quit because that's one thing about me is no matter what I run into, whatever obstacle or challenge I run into, there ain't no quitting. I would rather die than quit. And I learned that on the basketball course, it goes. We're in North Carolina dealing with asthma as a young child and having and wanting to play basketball with the kids who weren't dealing with that element. And, you know, even when I would, you know, couldn't even breathe, I would still want to be on the court shooting and running around and I would not quit. You know what I mean? You know, playing backyard tackle football. It would take, you know, three or four guys to pull me down because I just wasn't going down. You know what I mean? Like, I'm going to keep moving, baby. This is this who I am. So I'm not I'm not necessarily afraid. You know, a part of that is it's not just me. It's my wife, it's my children, it's everybody who looks to us for support and things of that nature that I would be risking as well. But, man, like life is short to stay stagnant and not to follow your heart. You've got to follow your dreams. I saw something the other day and it said you may be battling a real tough decision. And, you know. Maybe the best approach to that is by giving yourself the advice you would give to somebody who came to you, who was facing that same decision. And for me. You know, I thought about it and I was like, you know, I would probably tell that person to make sure they had a plan to stay in the third. But, man, that's something that's more valuable than a plan. And I know that sounds crazy because, you know, in almost everything that you do in life, you're going to need a plan to be successful. Right. But there's a certain taking that happens in the heart that no one other than you, the person that God has blessed with the vision can feel. You understand what I'm saying? Like your wife can't feel it. Your children can't feel it. Your financial advisor can't feel it. Your business partner can't feel it. It's something that's in you that only you can feel. And God put that there. And you've got to have the faith to step out on it. That thing that that that thing is keeping you up at night, a thing that's filling you with so much like I'm going to conquer the world because it's real. And I would man, I cannot live my life and not go after that. Like I cannot do it. I would be disservicing myself. I would be disservicing my family, my wife, my kids and the people who support me because I am that person. Right. What I'm trying to do is be right. I'm trying to break generational curses in what we and I'm doing that as a black man. And we all know that there's so many different aspects that come along with just that, which is being a black man in America and trying to advocate for change. Right. You know what I'm saying? So, you know, and I take it to something recent. Right. I'm in a space right now where I've paid off what I consider bad debt. Right. If you listen to some people, there's no good or bad debt. Right. That is just debt. But I've taken care of some bad debt. Right. And it's freed me up to make some moves financially. And I have some things sitting to the side where I was only able to do that after I was able to take the equity from my home. Right. But the intentions of taking that cash and investing it into a business, right. And taking that business and then investing into real estate and things down the road. Right. But just to think about what I just did. Right. Equity is how other ethnicities in this country have built wealth over many, many, many generations. Right. And they've had the access to that equity long before we were even able to buy homes. Right. And so companies were started with that. I'm in a space right now in 2022. As an African-American male. Well, I'm a homeowner. Right. And I get it. The bank owns the home because they have to pay the mortgage on the loan. Right. But I was able to take the cash from that and I can take that cash and go invest it into something that's going to generate me more. Right. Because there's only so much I can bring in as an individual. Right. I can go and make my six figures at my job, which I do. Right. But I can make more leveraging a business versus myself. Right. The business is the asset. Right. It's going to generate the income. Right now, I'm the asset is generating the earning income. Right. And I don't want to give you guys a lecture on finance and business because I'm learning this stuff as I go as well. But just to be in a position to be able to make the move that I just made is monumental. Think about that. Right. Blacks were denied home ownership for years in suburban America. And I was able to buy a home in my 30s and take the equity out and potentially build generational wealth from this one move that our other peers of other ethnicities have done over generations. You got to understand how monumental that is. Right. We're still talking about redlining in 2020, 2021, 2022. Right. We're still talking about unfair home mortgage practices. Right. We're still talking about people going to banks to refinance their homes and getting higher interest rates because of the color of their skin. These things are still happening in this country this day. So to do what I just did and to be able to make a play that could be monumental for not only myself, but for the legacy that I leave behind. I owe that to myself to take that chance. I can't play it safe. We cannot play it safe. We we don't have the time. That other ethnicities have had to play it safe. Right. We have to learn this game called capitalism and don't get me wrong, because this is not about money. Right. This is about the freedom of choice. America is for sale. You are for sale. Right. And if you don't think you are, ask yourself these couple of questions. Do you pay a car? No. Do you pay a mortgage? Do you have personal loans? Do you have consumer loans? You are for sale. The bank just bought you for that forty two thousand dollar car that you want. So was America. So learn how to play the game because you're stuck in capitalism, whether you like it or not. And no, the goal is not to chase the money. That's not the goal. The goal is to chase the freedom. Own yourself. Own yourself. What do you what do you think slavery really was? It developed from invention. Indentured servitude. Right. Indentured servitude. People working to pay off the debt to become free. Right. They work off that debt to become free. Then they take the money that they're earning now. But it's positive income and they go invest in the land. Now they build wealth off the agriculture. Right. And then the people who are in agriculture, who have slaves, who are not paying for their labor, they're making tons of profit because they're not paying operational costs. And so now all the profit that they made has paved the way for the Industrial Revolution. Right. Manufacturing and distribution to pop up across the north. Right. And that's really when you look at the Civil War. Right. You had a union versus the South. The South was thriving off the agriculture, but it was really thriving because it had free labor. And the north could not compete with that because they didn't have access to free labor. So it wasn't that the union cares so much about black people. Right. It was they didn't have access to slaves in the north in order to balance the the economic power in the union. They had to get rid of free labor in the south because they were out earning them in agriculture for the north. In the industrialized part of the union where they didn't have free labor in order to compete with those guys down south who wanted to break themselves away from the union. They had to end slavery. That was it ended for you and me. That was it for the economic power of the United States of America. So understand where you are and then learn how to navigate this environment. And don't tell me it's not possible because with us, we're born into these poverty stricken communities. Well, we have to come up with ingenuitive ways to create revenue or create an earning. We do it now. If you can figure out how to navigate the block, you can damn sure learn how to navigate the United States of America and its capitalistic system that we're stuck in. Oh, my wall. I have a quote and a picture that was drawn by my oldest daughter. This is basically there are two kinds of power that count in America, economic power and political power with social power being derived from those two. Do we know who said that? Malcolm X. Malcolm X said this in the 1960s. And that still holds true to this day. And it held true before he said that. So to have power in the system, you either have to leverage political or economical resources. And stop saying that somebody's holding you back. The only thing that's holding you back is fear. It's just so when I was in Iraq, I was on the phone with my Gwen. For those of you who don't know who my Gwen is, my Gwen is a mother figure to me who's been in my life since I was around 13 years old. She's the mother of my best friend and his sister. And over the years, I've grown very fond of her. And I remember being in Iraq and I asked her and I told her I had, you know, I've always been a dreamer. Right. And I was having a conversation with her about all of the things that I wanted to accomplish and all of the things I wanted to do in life. And I asked her. And she thought it was possible. And she told me the only thing that's holding me back from the vision that I had at the time was myself. So if myself is the only thing that's holding me back from the visions that I have for myself, what am I going to do? I'm going to remove myself from the equation and ensure I put myself with the tools and resources necessary to create that vision. I'm not going to stand in my own way. The only person that can stand in your way is you. It's not anybody else. And yes, the system is tough and it has been rigged. Right. But we still did it. You understand blacks were able to generate wealth even during the Jim Crow era. Black Wall Streets were not just in Oklahoma. They were all around the world in the 1920s. Harlem Renaissance. Google that. Learn about that. Study that. The Harlem Renaissance of 1920. Now, this is before the civil rights movement. This is 1920. Right. And Harlem led a renaissance in black culture and wealth, economics and political power. So it's achievable no matter what the odds are or how the system is rigged. You can still aspire for more and achieve more. You just have to be willing to do it. Go after what you believe in. Don't let nothing hold you back, including yourself. Don't let fear limit your vision. That thing that flutters in your heart when you think about it, that lightens up your world, that puts that grand smile in those big eyes all over your face. Go after that because that's God. That's love. And I am forever, bro. I appreciate you guys for rocking with me, man. And much love.