Kaely and Rowan

The speakers discuss various ways they manage or improve their mental health, such as exercising, journaling, engaging in hobbies, and taking time to relax. They also discuss the impact of school on their mental health, mentioning both positive aspects like learning and negative aspects like homework stress. The speakers acknowledge the high prevalence of mental illness among young people and emphasize the importance of raising awareness and finding solutions. They also touch on the challenges of navigating relationships, both romantic and platonic, and the tendency to overthink and seek reassurance. Our overall topic for today's episode is mental health, so to start off our interview, how would you two say you manage or improve your mental health? I'm powerless, so I'm not trying to be like any scrawny, but I do try to like lift, and that helps me clear my thoughts sometimes. I also have five different journals that I keep. One of them is for when I'm feeling really upset, I'll just rant, and the other ones are like radicals and stuff, and things that I want to work on. I also have a bunch of random hobbies that I'll sometimes pick up, and that keeps me busy, and I feel like getting busy helps you maintain and not go crazy. What about you? I also go to the gym to help with... Sorry. I also go to the gym kind of like as a stress reliever to kind of clear my head a bit, which is, you know, it is said that exercise is one of the best ways to reduce stress. Additionally, I also dabble in a few hobbies, most notably crochet, you know, just sitting down, you know, chilling out, not worrying about anything else except for the project I'm working on. It really helps me just not think about everything else that's going on, and honestly, another way that I kind of just, you know, relax and try to manage my mental health would be literally doing nothing. Genuinely, I go home, I change into some PJs, and that's about it. I just relax and just force myself not to worry about all these other things for the betterment of my mental health. Thank you for your guys' feedback. We really enjoy hearing it. Our next question is, how does school affect your mental health, and if the block scheduling is good for you guys? Okay. Personally, school has a conflicting impact on my mental health. So it definitely has a positive impact, but it also has a negative impact. For example, like I love learning, like the education that comes along with school, I truly love. I also love my teachers. That's probably one of my favorite aspects of school. But the whole thing of bringing school home with homework and the stress of that, that can get a bit overwhelming, I will admit. And like even as a senior with only two classes with our new block schedule, it can get overwhelming. And specifically about block schedule, it is a lot to adjust to. The hour and a half classes, I find it difficult to keep my attention span on track with my teachers and stay focused, which that can sometimes make me a bit lazy in the last 30-ish minutes of class. But I don't necessarily think it's a bad change. To be honest, I think it'll just have to see how it works in the coming years. So for me, something that I've tried to get in my head recently is a lot of things are not that deep. And I know that sounds like maybe I'm a bad student, but I promise I'm not. I get my work done. But if I'm really, really stressing out about something, I'll just close my laptop, go take a couple laps outside, take a nap, maybe go for a shower, go take a shower, and tell myself, this is important, it needs to be done. But I don't have to worry or obsess about this. Because I remember my freshman and sophomore years, and even from my junior year as well, I would obsess and try to convince myself this has to get done. If it's not perfect, it's not good enough for me. And so it got to the point where I was having panic attacks over projects or stressing out and crying and calling my friends to rant about these things that I was doing. But it's really not that deep. Once you realize that it does have to get done, but it's not that deep. And also, shout out to Ms. Depepe if she's listening to this. She helped me so much during my sophomore year when she was planning out our interim report. And she saw how my grades were looking and she had a conversation with me about that. And just being able to talk to teachers and knowing that there's also people here that care about you, that really also means a lot. And I kind of like locked schedules. Kind of a controversial opinion, but I kind of like it. Only two classes, and I feel like it gives me time to get my homework done in classes as well. I feel like it helps me to be productive. Do we have time to talk? Maybe. Kind of. No. Speak your truth. Okay, okay. I think that school itself is not really the issue when affecting mental health, but also just the fact that schools don't really teach you the skills to be able to handle all of the classes that you may be taking and all of the clubs that you might join. Because I've seen a lot of my friends have slowly just started to not be involved in school stuff because of how much they were involved their freshman and sophomore year. Because it's genuinely draining and exhausting to be in eight different clubs at one time. And I think instead of pushing students to be in so many clubs, we should be getting them involved in one thing they really like, rather than pushing everyone to be involved in everything. Okay. According to the CDC, over one in five youth ages 13 to 18, currently or at some point during their life, have had seriously debilitating mental illness. What is your opinion on this statement? Honestly, I don't find it that surprising that such an alarming number of youth have had such serious mental illness. Especially considering just what I've seen, even just in my own school, not even considering what I've seen on social media. The impact that just existing can have. I mean, it's kind of, it's really unfortunate. But I also think that some people will say that this generation's soft. So honestly, it's not too surprising at that alarming statistic. It's really unfortunate how it's so evident, and that I'm not surprised. I can just see, even within my own school, with my friends, with even distant family, how severely impacted that youth is, especially nowadays. So let's see, that's not even the case. Oh crap, I'm so, wait. Honestly, I don't find it that surprising at that alarming statistic. Especially from personal experience that I've had with mental health, that friends have had with mental health, it's no surprise. But I also think the reason why we have a statistic like that is because of the awareness that we've brought to mental health. It's a lot more important in society nowadays, and I think that we could honestly make it even more important, and make it more talked about. And something that older generations may say is that this generation is too soft. Because, you know, you didn't have such alarming numbers of serious mental illnesses and such maybe a couple decades ago. But that's, again, because there was no awareness to it. They didn't know that it was something that they didn't necessarily just have to deal with. Because at the time, all they could do was deal with it, or else they'd be, you know, I mean, they would just be treated really poorly if they had mental illnesses. So they had to fake it and mask their symptoms and such, and I think it's really good, and it's really good progress that we are able to at least recognize the issues. Now it's time to fix them. Ooh, that's really good. Okay, so, oh my gosh, I can't move it. So going off of that, I do also believe that, you know, in the past there has been a lot of stigma about talking about mental health, and I'm glad that it's being talked about. But at the same time, I also do believe that we need to find a way to, like James said, I think we need to find a way to be able to fix these problems. Because if we don't find a way to fix this, then it can just easily become into a competition of who's more depressed. And I know that may sound like a stretch, it may be a little bit controversial, but I have heard a lot of people that will argue about who's mental health is worse, or who's doing worse in their life. But I don't think it should be about that. I think we should be able to recognize our own problems. Okay, I completely forgot what I was saying, but I'm going to go with it. Yeah, I think we need to find ways in which we can, like, learn to cope. Because you can't change anything in your past that has given you, like, you know, this trauma, this, like, anxiety or depression. But you can find ways to cope. And I'm not saying, like, mask it and pretend that it's not there, but definitely find ways to, like, you know, cope with it. So you're fine, go. Pause. So, like, are we talking romantic or, like, friendship-wise? Like, both. I would say platonically and romantically. Oh, okay. Okay. So, for me, I really relate to Taylor Swift when she said she would have made such a lovely bride with James, she's messed up in the head. Because I feel like a lot of times when I'm, like, well, not a lot of times, I've only been in one relationship, what am I talking about? Anyways, I would, like, overthink a lot of things. So, like, if I didn't get a response back in, like, an hour, I'd be like, oh my gosh, they totally hate me now. Or if they didn't tell me that they were busy, I'd be like, oh my gosh, like, they're probably talking to a bunch of other people, which is, like, totally nonsense, because the person was amazing. But friendship-wise, it's, like, also the same thing. Like, if my, like, best friend would talk to somebody else, I'd be like, oh my gosh, I wonder if they like that person more than they like me. Or if, like, I'm getting replaced as a best friend, which sounds a little bit toxic, and I think it might be, actually. But, um, yeah. So it's a lot of overthinking and a lot of, like, having to ask for, like, reassurance, which sometimes comes with that, like, feeling of being, like, um, like you're kind of putting all of this pressure on them when you don't want to. But then that was also, or that's also, like, another thing, like, having to constantly be like, I'm sorry, like, if I'm bothering you for, like, saying or doing this. And then, like, constantly, like, having to ask for forgiveness, which then, at some point, like, you know, kind of annoys the other person. So then it's just kind of like a cycle. So, yeah, I do relate to Taylor Swift when she said that line. Um, and, um, but, and also, like, trusting people. I feel like that's a huge thing for me. Like, I have a lot of, like, problems, like, letting people in. But once I do, I, like, let them in completely. And I feel like that's sometimes also harmful. Like, not knowing where to draw a clear line of, like, you know, I trust you, I don't trust you, or, like, I don't know. It's a little weird sometimes, because sometimes I end up telling somebody my whole life story after knowing them for, like, a little bit. And then sometimes I've known these people for, like, years, and I'm like, oh, I can't even tell them if my stomach hurts. So, you know, I don't know. Like, it's a lot sometimes, but, yeah. I'm Jane. I kind of went on a ramble, I'm sorry. So, there is, like, a serious connection between mental health and the state of our relationships, friendships, and all that with our family. I mean, romantic, platonic, like, all of it. Like, it's crazy how much it really impacts. And I know that, like, in relationships, or liking someone, or all that stuff, overthinking, like Jacqueline mentioned, is so prevalent, at least for me, and I'm sure it is for a lot of people too, that you're just so, like, almost fixated on this individual that it's like, they become like, you're like everything. Like an unhealthy obsession. Right. Kind of, yeah. And it becomes so, like, it's draining for you, it's draining for the other person, it's not healthy. And a big thing to recognize is that a lot of overthinking stems from, like, self-esteem issues, and feeling insecure, and that's easy, like, and that can reflect in your relationships and your friendships, like by getting jealous, or by the overthinking, and, you know, all those little, like, toxic, technically, you know, they're toxic aspects. Yeah, and then also, I would say that relationships and friendships can affect your mental health in the sense that sometimes, you know, your friends or your family can get a little overwhelming and, you know, kind of push you over the edge, and that can cause, I mean, a multitude of issues. I mean, because, you know, family and your friends are the people that you love the most, but they can also, you know, but that also gives them the power to mess with you the And that, I think, can create, like, a really big issue on your mental health. But I think a really good way to kind of avoid that would be to establish boundaries. Like, boundaries are, you know, get some clear, established boundaries, very distinct, so that you don't get kind of, like, walked all over, and that you protect your mental health. And if you protect your mental health, you are protecting everyone else, because if you're saying you're good, then you can be there for other people, you can be there for your friends, family, and all that. Okay. Going off of what James said, like, establishing clear boundaries and also communication. Like, I never realized how much communication actually matters until, like, I lost that person that I, like, kind of cared about. And so, like, now it's something that I regularly do with, like, my friends. I'll ask them, like, how are you doing? Like, tell me, like, how your day was. And I know that's such, like, a basic thing to say, but sometimes it can have an impact on other people, because you don't want to just be telling them, like, all of your stuff, all of your things, and kind of feel like you're putting all of this pressure on them. You also want to be helping them out as well. So, boundaries, communication, and yeah, I think that's important. I personally would love to, like, touch on just toxic relationships in general. And I'm somebody who's been in multiple, and that's not to call somebody out. I am in a stable place to admit that I've also done toxic things in relationships, and that's what happens when you have some of the issues that I have, and have, go through, like, such strong traumatic experiences. You don't really know how to love correctly, and that can cause you to be toxic a lot of the time. And I think that this is an issue that could almost be, like, deleted from teen issues if we would just talk about it, because nobody knows the signs of an abusive relationship. And by doing that, somebody who might have abusive tendencies cannot learn to undo those things if nobody brings up said abusive tendencies. So, not only would it help the people being abused, or not necessarily abused, but being in these toxic situations, it can also help the people being toxic and help them change their ways and things like that. So, I feel like it's something that should be more talked about in school. Also, like, going off of that, when I was in that relationship, it was a bit toxic at times. And, like, it wasn't just him, it was me too, as well. But something that I did learn that was really important from that is that it's okay to allow yourself to, like, feel love from others. Because I remember I used to feel like I was, like, this unlovable burden, and that, like, if I talked about my problems or issues to other people, they would view me differently. But I feel like with trust, whenever you trust someone, you should be able to feel, you know, like you can talk about your problems. So, it's important to learn how to love and how to be loved, as well. Because a lot of times, people can also push that away because they feel like, you know, they're kind of unlovable, or they feel like they aren't deserving of this. Or, like, in Perks of Being a Wallflower, where they say a lot of people, like, accept the love they think they deserve. I think that's really true. A lot of times, you know, maybe we'll see relationships, like whether it's our parents or, like, friends or, you know, other people, and we feel like we have to mimic that because that's the only love that we know. But I think it's important for us to know how we truly can feel that love and love other people before getting into a relationship. But that is something that I learned after that. It's kind of helpful. I would also like to bridge off of Jaclyn's statement about, like, feeling unlovable. You know, feeling unlovable, you know, feeling insecure, you know, having low self-esteem, and, you know, like I mentioned, how that's able to manifest into toxic behaviors in a relationship and friendships and all that. I just think it's really important, you know, like, you know that you do matter, that you are lovable, that you do deserve nice things, you deserve for people to be kind to you. Like, you deserve nice things. Like, that's what, like, everyone here, Rowan, Kylie, Jaclyn, myself, and everyone listening to this, you need to know that you do matter and that you shouldn't feel like you're not important or that everyone else is, you know, like, more important than you and you shouldn't sacrifice yourself or other people or anything like that because you have worth, too. Okay, I'm sorry. We're kind of, like, really digging deep into this. But something that I've heard a lot of people say is, like, you can't let others love you until you love yourself. And I really disagree with that because I feel like you can't love other people until you actually know what love is. And a lot of times, like, obviously we're in high school, a lot of times the so-called love isn't actually, you know, the real thing. But it does teach you a lot about how to care for others. And I'm not just talking, like, romantically-wise, but also, like, in platonic relationships, like, with your parents, with your teachers, with people around you. Like, you need to learn how to love. And sometimes you learn that by reciprocating. You know, the way that you do receive that love. Comments? Wait. To go off of what you guys said with toxic relationships, I feel like, especially in high school, like, people will mistake being in love with someone with, like, love-bombing. And, like, basically it's, like, someone showing you extreme amounts of, like, love to, like, manipulate you into, like, staying with them. And as someone who has personally been through that, I feel like, yes, you should reciprocate love from others, but you should also, like, learn to be aware because some people have, like, malice intents behind it. And especially in high school, I feel like this is going to sound really bad, but it's really, high school relationships really aren't that important because I feel like most of the time you're going to leave, like, you learn from it, but when you leave high school, there's, like, a small chance you're going to stay with that person. And for the people it does happen to, that's great, and that's amazing for you, jealous, you know. But, like, in all reality, the most, like, from my personal view and observation, most people don't end up with someone that they dated in high school. It's an experience, but don't let it, like, take over you and let it affect you in ways that it changes you and, like, who you are and how you react to things. Because I used to, like, not trust people after dating that certain person. But, like, really, you have to learn that not everyone is that same way and not everyone's going to treat you that way. And, like, it's kind of like what Jack is like. It's really not that deep. Okay, oh, you go ahead. If I don't get the mic. Okay, I'll get it. So, going off of what you just said, I don't know if you're listening to this, I'm not filling you out, I swear, but in my relationship, I did experience love-bombing. Like, I remember, also my parents don't know that we dated because there's no one public to them. But, anyway, the first day of us dating, I remember he was like, okay, goodbye, I love you. And I just kind of awkwardly stood there and I was like, what do you mean? And he was like, I love you. And I feel like it's important, like we said earlier, family communication. You don't always have to say, I love you back. Like, that is not mandatory. And if you feel like you're being, like, I guess forced, you're not forced because I wouldn't be forced to say it. But if you feel like there's this weird pressure to say it back, then maybe you just aren't ready to say it. And that's totally okay as well. Like, you don't have to love someone in, like, that romantic aspect, like, just because you've been dating them, or just because you've known them for, like, you know, a bit. You don't have to feel that pressure to say that. And I feel like a lot of people, like Lynn said, a lot of people will experience love-bombing and then they think that they're, like, madly in love with this person, and they think that they're going to marry them, have, like, three kids with them, live in a barn. But, you know, like, that's not always how things can end up working out. And then if you do let that, like, get to you, you're going to end up thinking that there was something wrong with you. Like, what did I do? Like, why was I not, like, good enough for this person? And just know that, like, if you are experiencing that, there's nothing wrong with you. It's not that they, like, didn't want, like, or didn't actually love you. It's just, you're in high school. A lot of things, like Lynn said, a lot of things are not that deep. Like, a lot of things that we go through, they're just there to, like, help us build character, to, like, learn in life, and to, you know, end up being better people. So don't let, like, tiny things that may in the moment seem, like, these huge life-changing things affect you that much. And also remember, like, at some point you're going to move out of Aiken, and then you're going to look back and you're going to be like, wow, like, that was kind of a tiny town. There kind of weren't a lot of things to do. Now I'm married. Now I can live with my husband in a barn and have three kids. And you're going to be happy. And you can just look back and reminisce about, you know, the days of growth. To kind of, like, conclude that this specific topic, to bridge off of what Lynn said about, you know, love-bombing and then, you know, the comments about it's not that deep. It's just a high school relationship and that, you know, it's not like, like, it's not the end of the world if you don't end up, you know, having that fairytale ending with your high school sweetheart. To end off a little humorous on that one, in the words of Abby Lee Miller, in the words of Abby, in the words of Abby Lee Miller, everyone's replaceable. Thank you for joining our podcast. We talked a lot about mental health and relationships and school in general. And thank you for joining us. We appreciate it. Come back for another show. If you have anything you want us to talk about, leave a comment below. Is there anything else you guys like to say? Go ahead, you know. Oh. Are you recording? Yeah. Okay. So, before we conclude, I just want to say, this wasn't, like, to hate on anyone. This is just for educational purposes. So, yeah, that's it. And I would just like to reiterate two very important points. Is that you do matter. And that you are lovable and that you should never feel otherwise. And, of course, once again, in the words of Abby Lee Miller, everyone's replaceable.