Episode 2 The Inner Child&Healing

The Alma Expressions Podcast explores the mind, body, and spirit through acceptance, alignment, authenticity, and love. The hosts discuss the concept of the inner child, which is the purest version of ourselves before societal conditioning. They explain how the inner child is influenced by the subconscious state of our mothers during pregnancy and how it is shaped by modeled behaviors and societal rules. They also discuss the difficulty of expressing needs as a child and how tantrums are a way of expressing emotions. The hosts emphasize the importance of understanding and healing the inner child. Welcome to the Alma Expressions Podcast, where we have soul-led conversations about the wholeness of the mind, body, and spirit through our pillars of acceptance, alignment, authenticity, and amor. We are grateful to return here with you to celebrate each other in our path, offering this platform as an extension of our AYA mission, which is to remember who we are at our core essence and live accordingly. Arelis and I will be sharing with you what we have learned, and will be continuing learning through our experiences. So let's journey in community, hand in hand, as we receive all that life has to offer. Hello, hello, hello. So let's, before we begin with today's topic, let's go ahead and take a deep breath wherever we are. If we're driving, then maybe, you know, just keeping our eyes open, but if you're in a place where you can settle down and sit and you're comfortable closing your eyes, and it's safe for you to do so, let's all just take a big inhale in. Yeah. Today's topic is the inner child, and so I think it's so cool that we started out with a breath because, first of all, that's what I think my inner child needed a lot of time. She was so excited about life. I'm like, babe, it's okay. You have so much more. You're sad. You can breathe. And two, inner child can bring out a lot of shadows, so I think it's really, it's important to like start out with a breath, and if you ever need a pause there, I don't think it's gonna get intense, but if you do need a pause it and just take a breath, like that's always, that's like the easiest tool to access. Yeah, the breath is always there with you, so you can always rely on taking deep breaths to help you calm down. Oh, let's get right into the, let's get right into it. The inner child. I would love to hear what you think the inner child is, first and foremost, because I have like my perception, and I would love to see if it like correlates with yours. Yes, yes. So what is the inner child? To me, the inner child is just the most pure version of ourselves, before any conditioning of society, before any conditioning of this earth school that we are in, before any conditioning from our classmates, from our teachers, from our culture set in. It's kind of like who we are at our core. And I mean, the moment that we're already in our mother's womb, we already start having conditions. As we are in our mother's womb, we are swimming in her subconscious waters. So we end up living the subconscious state of our mom, during the nine months that we're gestating, which is why it's so important to connect with our ancestors, and to connect with the ancestral, I guess, traumas, you can say that are being passed on generation from generation, because if we don't see those, they end up presenting themselves in our lives. And it's something that our inner child is going to have to end up healing anyways. But either way, even though that we are swimming in our subconscious waters of our mother, when we are born, though, it's kind of like we have like a blank slate. And we kind of forget the time that we were gestating in the womb. And we still come in pure, we still come in like who we are at our soul level. So to me, that is what an inner child is just when you're out of your core. I definitely agree. I think that the inner child is like that spirit, that limitless sense of wonder, the joy and excitement about all the possibilities of the world. Like that's how I perceive the inner child just like, Whoa, like, what is this world? What can we do? Like, there's no limit. I don't feel like an inner child has a limit. It's like, that's why it's asking so much questions. That's why child is saying all these things, because it's limitless. There's no constraints. And with that, we are sponge. And we're looking at all the nature. And we're learning from these experiences. And we're learning. And just how we are learning from this world. There are quote, unquote, rules and regulations that do enforce conditioned ways of being. So the way that I see my mom modeling certain behaviors, or the way that I see the society, the way that I see people dress the things that don't need to be explained to me, because we're all visual. We're sponging it all up. The dysregulated ways that are also being modeled to us are a part of what we are learning. So we are learning great things. And we're also learning shadows. And we're learning how you said I love how you said the subconscious part, because now with my wise mind, I look back, and a lot of the unmet needs of my child are a lot of the subconscious things that I am doing shadow work on. So yes, I definitely agree with you that there is that limitless wonder. And just how you said it's before that conditioning. And that conditioning is because of these, of these modeled behaviors, the rules and the regulations that do change us from being outside of what we thought like outside of that authentic self outside the joyful energy, because of what we're seeing from the world and our parents. And you know, it might also not even be that your parents or the world did something to you and XYZ. You also don't know how to ask for what you want and what you need. As a child. Yes, you can ask for what you want and what you need sometimes. And some things happen to you that you would have never expected, because you know, that happens sometimes. And, and as a child, you're like, well, how the fuck am I supposed to handle that? I think that is not something I could have ever imagined, because it's not something fun that I want to deal with watching all these things or something traumatic can happen to you or something just occurs. And you're like, Oh, how do I ask for my own needs? How do I ask for my wants? I don't know what I need. I don't know what I want. Because as a child, you're not fully developed cognitively, you don't have that wisdom. Yes, you do have an intuitive soul. And you also don't have like the wise mind of like being fully cognitively, cognitively developed and knowing what you want and what you need. Yeah, it's hard, especially with the emotions part. And I'm glad that you said that too. Because yeah, a child doesn't know how to ask for what they need. They literally just came into this world from the spirit realm when they can like, you know, feel amazing and love all the time. And then you come into this world, this reality, where you start feeling anger, and frustration, and sadness, and grief. And how does a child deal with that? Like, a lot of times, children throw tantrums, because they're so overwhelmed by emotion, that they don't know how to, you know, calm that down or how to process it. And some people say that kids throw tantrums to attract attention or to get their way. And I mean, you know, there are times when a kid is throwing a tantrum because they're upset. And in the moment that they get exactly what they want, they shut it off. Sure. Yeah, that happens. But usually, when a child is throwing a tantrum, when they're two, three years old, even if they're doing it to get what they want, it's because they're expressing that they're upset. And they don't know how to express that in a different way than throwing a tantrum. Yeah, I agree. And they're expressing like what their need is. They're expressing their need, even if it seems like a want. Again, a child doesn't really know the difference between a want and a need. I remember in elementary school, my teacher being like, you want the red Popsicle. You don't need the red Popsicle. You're going to have the green one. And that's that. You get what you get. And you don't throw a fit. So like the way I've come to understand my inner child is like, it's either black or white. There's really no gray. Like I either have my Popsicle or I don't have it. And if you don't give it to me, that means you hate me. It's like super black and white. The red Popsicle. Okay. Yeah, everybody wanted the red one or the purple one. I'm the kid that liked the green one. Okay. You know, that's how I feel about Skittles. And like the yellow Starburst. Ew. Yeah. I was at a Kirtan. And the guy, he said, if you like the yellow Starburst, then get out right now. Because only pink people are allowed here. And I was like, well, fuck, even the places that I'm coming to for healing, be closing the doors. No, that's just a joke. I didn't feel like that. He was just his one of his pillars is being silly. So he was just being, you know, a goofball. But yeah, I do like the other ones. I'm judging you. I'll give you my pink one. If you could give me your yellow one. This is why. You know what? This is the reason why people need to like the yellow Starburst. So we can trade. Yeah. Trading. We're going back into the ancient times. Fuck yeah. Back to what you said. You did say something about how does a child deal with those angers, you know? And I honestly think that a child deals with it by literally modeling what they're seeing. So our parents always say there's no book for how to be a parent. And the way that I see that, or I interpret this now, you know, doing some work on myself, that modeling component is so big. You can tell me how to deal with something, you can tell me how to deal with something, and it will only get so far. If I see you doing something, I see how it goes. I see, like, think about all the things that, again, as we were saying, you've learned without anyone telling you. You will learn what looks cool, what society expects from you, how to sit in a classroom. Some of those things, yes, were told to you. And the majority of it is, like, the sociology. I mean, sociology is all about this. You see something, you model that. So much so, when you're a child and you're looking up to your parents or whatever caretaker you have, and if you don't have that, anyone that you can feel you can confide in, if you don't have that, you look for anybody and you begin to model their behavior to deal with these hard emotions. If whenever you see someone feel angry and they act aggressively, you start correlating anger and aggression. Or if you see someone get excited, they start dancing, you correlate excitement with advancement. It can have great conditionings or, like, it can be beneficial to model, you know, certain things, and it's also detrimental to model certain things, and that's why it's, like, our responsibility now to keep what we like and to get rid of the shit that we don't think serves us. And that's, like, that's the work. That's literally inner child healing. Yes, that's definitely inner child healing. It would be a good segue, or maybe not even a good segue at all, but to talk about the unmet needs of the child and what that means, necessarily. Okay, yeah, I think that's brilliant to talk about because, again, when you're a child, you don't necessarily know what your needs are. I think the word to express these unmet needs is repression. That's the word for me that I'm feeling about. The simplest way to express unmet needs in inner child work is repression. How are you repressed? How is your spirit repressed? How are your emotions repressed? How is your body repressed? How is your truest self repressed? Because that's it. That's it. Repression. Any illusion, any distortion comes from that repression of when you're a child, you want to be yourself. You want to be expressive. You want to have these limitless possibilities. And then I'm not sure if it's necessarily things occur or people occur or what, or maybe it's a combination of many different things. Something tells you you can't be yourself. Something tells you you can't do this XYZ. And it takes you apart from that authentic self. And that authentic self is essentially what we're here for. So anything that was repressing you, that's an unmet need. An unmet need is consistently, consistently repressed. Something that's consistently repressed, something that you're consistently learning and programming in your subconscious that this is this because of this. For example, whenever I was growing up in Puerto Rico, everyone would straighten their hair. Whenever I would visit to Puerto Rico, everyone would straighten their hair. I learned as a child straightening your hair meant you're acceptable. Therefore, you know, that is how you are beautiful. That is how you are worthy. These things that honestly make no sense, but it's like a consistent modeling that then you're like, Oh shit. Okay. This is what that means. Yes. And it goes back to what you said earlier too. No one told you this. You saw it by the behavior of the people around you. Cause actions really, really do speak louder than words. Especially when you're learning something. I had a project in school where you would like make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. You got to explain that process when, when you're reading it out, it made no fucking sense when you were seeing someone do it though, that shit's easy. So it's like actions are so much louder than words. I mean, we are creators. That's what we are. That's how I believe everything I do is because of my devotion to creativity and creating a lot of it is physical actions, the physical result of it, physically putting step by step in. But yes, that is what I think an unmet need. It's like a consistent repression. And to this, I'm going to say this beautiful quote from women who run with the wolves. And it is that the difference between comfort and nurture is this. If you have a plant that is sick because you keep it in a dark closet and you say soothing words to it, that is comfort. If you take the plant out of the closet and put it in the sun, give it something to drink and then talk to it, that is nurture. And that I felt was important because again, you can only go as far as the things, the resources you have around you. Like if you have a need that isn't consistently being met and you have a parent or a caregiver, or again, you don't know how to ask for help, it becomes your responsibility to really nurture yourself if what you were receiving was comforting. Parents do a great job of supporting. Most parents do. The emotional intelligence aspect is coming now. I feel like in a movement in ways with people sending out ripples effects of change in this world. And with that being said, a lot of parents were comforters and weren't nurturers, which is okay because now we have that responsibility and the opportunity to become nurturers for ourselves and for the people that we have in our lives. I've noticed that whenever I see something in someone that's making me feel hopeless or powerless or I'm not provided for, I'm not being nurtured, that is my inner child. Because it's asking for someone else, it's outsourcing something, some care from someone else. So I think that that's also, again, an unmet need. You're looking for outside validation, outsourcing, because as a child, that's what you were doing. You were getting provided for. If there was something that you wanted that you didn't have, it was usually given to you by something external. It's a great reference that you can use in your life. It's like a little flag. You'd be like, oh, word. Oh, okay. This is for me. This is my responsibility. It's not for someone else to fix for me. I like the example of the flower, how it needs light and the comfort is just saying pretty things to the flower versus the nurturer is for you to take it outside to see the sunlight and to get some water and then speak to it. And I just thought about the flower. Let's pretend it has legs. The flower won't know necessarily that it needs sunlight and water if it's never given sunlight and water. So the flower might end up being in this state of like, I'm not okay. And these words are good for now. But then when I don't receive these comforting words, I'm back in the hole that I was in before. And sometimes something external has to show you or maybe you accidentally fall into the selling and you're like, oh my gosh, this feels so nice on my skin. And slowly you learn what it is that you need, whether a caregiver provides that for you, a friend provides that for you, or you stumble upon it yourself through an accident or just the coincidences of life. You end up realizing that you need that sunlight. And then if you were to have your own legs and your own arms and you're a plant and you need the sun and the water, at this point, you know how to take care of yourself and you know how to nourish yourself and receive what you need to flourish and be a beautiful blossoming flower, the best version that you can be. And at that point, we can keep wanting other people or our caregivers or whoever to provide the sunlight and provide the water. But in reality, all that we need to do is just step outside. And it can be exhausting for those of you out there that feel like you have to nourish yourself at all times. But that also just brings up the question of, are you asking for help? Do you have a support system? Have you been able to find a support system? Are you going out and looking for a support system? Because the support system is not going to just fall in your lap. You have to go through life and hopefully there's beautiful people that come into your life. But as you get older, as you get out of high school and you get through college and then you go, or if you don't go through college, like you just get older and you start doing adult things, like it gets harder for you to stumble upon new people. And at that point, it's hard for you or for people to really put themselves out there and do things that are different, like maybe taking an aerial yoga class, or maybe going to a pottery class, or maybe going to Dave and Buster's, I don't know, whatever floats your boat, right? But by doing those things, you can stumble upon people that have the same interests that you do. Hopefully those people might have the same values, same morals. They might have different ways that they do self-care. They might have different ways that they have been able to re-nurture themselves or re-parent themselves. Long story short, what I'm trying to say is that one, if you don't know what you need to nurture yourself, don't beat yourself up for it. It's a learning process. And two, you need to find a support system if you don't have one. And it can be scary to go out there and put yourself out there if you've been rejected before, and that's like a reoccurring theme for you. But if you don't go to new things, one, you're silencing your inner child, because your inner child wants to go to that jazz night. Your inner child wants to go and learn how to do pottery. Your inner child wants to go to a paint with a twist and have like a glass of wine. Your inner child wants to go to Dave and Buster's. But you as the adult that's been programmed, that's been rejected, that has fear and conditioning, it's like, no, let me just stay home. Being home is safe. It's like the plant saying, you know, me being in the closet without sunlight is safe. And we all know that it's not. You need the sunlight. You need the water. Ted, tap over. It's so true though, because like the subconscious a lot of times is connected with the ego, the ego stories, and the ego doesn't like trying new things. The ego wants everything to stay the same because there's comfort in that. And again, you're so right whenever you're saying that it may be harder to find new opportunities when you're older. A lot of people I've heard have expressed that. And also, it's super easy. Let's talk about that. Let's change this. Let's see the possibilities you've got here. There is an app now. It's easier now more than ever. There's an app called Meetup. M-E-E-T-U-P. Go up in there. You can put guitar class. You can put salsa class. You can put, there's 10,000 clubs. Most of them are free. Let's talk about Eventbrite. E-V-E-N-T-B-R-I-T-E. You know how much shit is on there? There's so much online ones too. You can just go to Zoom. Oh, by the way, you should go to ours. You can just find us on online expressions at Eventbrite. And you can stumble upon people all the time once you, again, as Ashley said, are open to that possibility. If there's something that's just going completely wrong and everything feels like it's going bonkers and you're in that darkness and you don't know that you need the sun because you don't even know what the sun is. You don't need to know what the sun is, but you do have the opportunity to see, oh, this is all darkness. I can do something different and just experiment. And that's really what it's all about. Just like that experimentation process that we have been gifted, like what a blessing. I felt that darkness, everyone, I'm not going to speak for everybody, but I know that is a component of life. Darkness is a part of the light. Darkness is a part of being a whole. And yes, there's so much grace to that because going back to your analogy, let's say you are a plant in the darkness and you are from Lowe's. Going back to the analogy, every single plant on the shelf is fucking dark. The plant that has been taken out and you're taking off the shelf, or maybe they need to restock the plants. So they take, you know, just you, they take you out of your environment. They take you out of your quote unquote mom and dad and bam, you were given a plant owner. That plant owner gave you music, lights. You would see the events at that person's party and you were like, oh my God, I really like this. I'm using this analogy because, thank you so much, for expressing that. So many of us come from families that no one knows how to handle mental illness. No one knows how to eat properly. No one knows how to exercise. No one even knows what the fuck yoga, emotional intelligence is. Everyone goes to church to praise Jesus, but they don't even know who Jesus is. I love Jesus, by the way. Or, you know, XYZ. No one knows. Some families could maybe be addicted to certain things and no one has gotten treatment. So I'm saying this because yes, as Ashley said, you might not know that you need the sun. And it's because of this aspect that maybe you've never been in an environment where health has been the priority and where sovereignty has been the priority. And as Ashley said, you can always find a support system. If you think it's really hard, that is a conditioned mindset. That's an ego story. And we are here to tell you, you can do it. You can find support no matter what. It's easier every step you take. And if you're here, you're doing great. And there's always like a step-by-step process and giving yourself a lot of grace because you can be trying and maybe nothing's working out because again, you're experimenting. And that's a part of the process. That's a part of the inner child work. And you're going to get so much farther than anybody that you've seen being modeled because you're even trying. You trying is doing the work. And sometimes the work is trying not getting anywhere and grieving that. However, something's going to change because you're putting energy towards it. Yeah. And I want to add to that, that if you're finding it hard to find new people and you're a mother, right? Like as a mom, I don't know what it is like to be a mother, but I do know, and I have friends that are moms. It can be hard when you're transitioning from being like a maiden to being a mother and you're responsible now for this whole new baby, right? And it's hard for you to find new people, maybe that are in now the same mindset that you're in. People talk about mommy and me groups, mommy and me stuff, and more events about that. And I do know this one page in Orlando to share. And it's this woman that has a lot of spiritual events that are meant to be a mother and me event where you can bring your child. And when you can, being a family-oriented space. And on top of that, I also know this woman who is my mentor. I love her so much, Valley from the Sacred Woman School, that she does pilgrimages and she does events. And she has some that are specifically intended for people to bring their children, seven, eight, 14, 15, newborn. The last event that she had where it was like an open circle for moms and their children, there was someone with a newborn. There were people with six-year-olds. There were people with teenagers. They were all there, all women, right? I'm saying that because it's out there. If you're a mom and you haven't been able to find people, well, one, you do need to like put yourself out there because no one's going to come knocking on your door like, hey, knock, knock, knock. I heard that you're a mom looking for a group of friends. Can we come in? No, that's not going to happen. Let's be realistic. So you have to like put yourself out there. And the more you put yourself out there, the more likely it is that you'll get lucky and that you'll find that support group that you've been looking for. But with that being said, I wanted to kind of also maybe talk about inner child archetypes and how we can heal and honor our inner child. Yes. Before we go into inner child archetypes, though, I think it's really important to just express really quickly that the way we say things is very important. So like if you're saying it's so hard to do it because of X, Y, Z, let's reframe that. People have said this. And I'm saying that there's possibilities. So I understand why you were saying it. And if that's something that you tend to say, whatever you say will manifest. If you think something is hard, it will be hard. That's a whole different conversation. I wanted to add to that, I guess, real quick, since we're talking about framing our words. If it's a challenge for you to focus on the positive, whenever you start thinking about, oh, it's so hard to make friends, instead maybe start writing or start saying to yourself, I look up to those people that can make friends. I am hoping to make a friend one day. Like at least shifting it to that is a very beautiful starting point to then be able to be like, I'm making friends today. I'm going out there and I'm putting myself out there. So at least just starting to shift your wording can help you get there. If that's something that you seem to have a little bit of a constant battle with. Yeah, because that's just a reflection of an unmet need. You saying that it's so hard is because that need has just consistently not been met. And yes, you can reframe that. The word possibility is going to be huge for you. There's possibilities in that darkness. There's possibilities in changing your perspective. So yes, reframing that will be really helpful. That's a whole different conversation. However, inner child archetypes. So inner child archetypes for me and my personal journey. Dr. Nicole has been the best. She's a great doctor who has studied. She's written the book how to do the work. She has an Instagram called the holistic psychologist, the.holistic.psychologist. She also has a podcast called self healers soundboard. I consume both of them. They're so great. And she has created seven archetypes for the inner child from her experience working in one on one therapies or just all therapies and also in her practice. So she's really experienced, has so much resources for everybody. Again, she has books and a podcast and an Instagram and a website and meditations and all the things. And to get really into the archetypes, I'm going to be reading from the how to do the work book on page 129. The seven inner child archetypes. The first one is the caretaker typically comes from codependent dynamics, gains a sense of identity and self worth to neglecting their own needs and believes that the only way to receive love is to cater to others and ignore their own needs. The overachiever, feel seen, heard and valued through success and achievement, uses external validation as a way to cope with low self worth, believes that the only way to receive love is through achievement. Next is the underachiever. So the opposite keeps themselves small, unseen and beneath their potential due to fear of criticism or shame about failure, takes themselves out of the emotional game before it's even played and believes that the only way to receive love is to stay invisible. The rescuer and protector, ferociously attempts to rescue those around them in attempt to heal their own vulnerabilities, especially in childhood, use others as helpless, incapable, dependent, and derives their love and self worth from being in position of power. The life of the party, this is the always happy and cheerful, comedic person who never shows pain, weakness or vulnerability. It's likely that this inner child was a chance for their emotional state, believes that the only way to feel okay and receive love is to make sure that everyone around them is happy. The yes person drops everything and neglects all needs in the service of others, was likely modeled self-sacrifice in childhood and engaged in deep codependency patterns, much as the caretaker did, believes that the only way to receive love is to be both good and selfless. And the last one, the hero worshiper, needs to have a person or guru to follow, likely emerges from an inner childhood made by a caretaker who was perceived as Superman without faults, believes that the only way to receive love is to reject their own needs and desires and view others as a model to learn how to love. So that was the caretaker, the overachiever, the underachiever, the rescuer and protector, the life of the party, the yes person, and the hero worshiper. And that is when you accept that you have an inner child, because we all do. There is also childhood fantasy with that, well, my childhood was perfect, so that means that I have no inner child and I have no trauma. And yes, you can have an amazing childhood and you still have an inner child. You still have that wonder, you still have that creative energy you can tap into, you still have that limitless possibility, that's beautiful spirit that's untouched and pure and innocent. And yes, you may have amazing parents and you did not know how to ask for your needs as a child. And your parents or your family are not the only source of conditioning. Whenever we are young, in kindergarten, in pre-kindergarten, whenever we're three years old and we go to a family party or somebody else's party, a very common game that we play is musical chairs. Maybe the first time you go and play musical chairs, there's a bunch of chairs in the middle, all the kids are excited, they're like, yes, let's play. And then it's your first time playing, right? So you're just there, you're dancing, you're having fun, there's music, all of a sudden the music stops and all the kids are fighting for the chairs. And then you notice that there's not enough for everybody and that someone gets left out. And then you battle for your own chair because you don't want to be left out, you want to win. And that right there is conditioning that happens to us as a child that is totally outside of our parents. This is global. I feel like almost everybody plays this game as a child. And that game, what does it teach? In a way, it teaches for you to fight to win. You're fighting over these chairs, you're pushing another child out of the way. I saw this at a high school pep rally. Oh, my God, that got intense. When high schoolers got into it, one, props to them because they got into their inner child, but two, there are low-key murderers out there in this pep rally game. They're not legitimately murderers, but they were just going hard. And it's just like, that's a game that we don't realize that we play as children that has that subconscious message of like, for you to make it and for you to win, you got to throw other people out of the way. So conditioning doesn't have to come just from your parents. It comes from your teachers. It comes from your friends. It comes from your culture. It comes from your neighbors. There are people out there that have amazing families, and I know some of them, and they still have some sort of thing that they're dealing with themselves. And it does go back to our inner child and whatever archetype that is that you're dealing with. So what you resonate with is your own, and you can continue diving deep into that if you want to go ahead and get her amazing resource, that book on how to do your work, which we're totally not being paid to say this. I'm actually being sponsored by her. We're besties. We're besties. We're manifesting that. That'd be so cool. Yeah, we're besties. She takes care of me really well. So with all her resources, we're actually best friends. That's not even a lie. But yes, and just how you said, it's personal for you, whichever one you relate to the most. You can also relate to multiple of them at the same time. Like, for example, when I started my journey, I felt like I was like the yes person. I would say yes to everybody. I had no boundaries. I wasn't really meeting my own needs. I put everyone else before myself. But then I started realizing, oh, wait, I'm more like the life of the party. The reason why I don't honor my needs is because I want everyone to be happy and for us to all be good. And the emotions, they're not fun. They're not a party vibe. And then after that, it went deeper. And I was like, oh my goodness, I'm like the overachiever. So it does change. And the energies in your life will affect it because your inner child needs different things at different times. Because, you know, it's a child. Imagine if you had a child right next to you. One day, it might need something. And the next day, it might need another thing. Unmet needs are consistently conditions. You might have different layers of one condition. Like, it might be the same route, but the way that you relate to it might be shown in different archetypes. So it's okay if you have multiple, if you relate to multiple of them. And if you do, that's okay. And that does not mean that you suck. It's a lifelong journey. How about you, Ashley? Do you relate to any of the archetypes or like multiple of them? I do relate to multiple. I relate to the caretaker or the caregiver. And I also relate to the overachiever. I think those are the two that I resonate with the most. Those are the two that I've had to heal as well the most. How to allow for things to not be perfect and for me to just be myself, whether or not I'm utilizing my own idea of perfect or somebody else's idea of perfect. I received a lot of praise and attention. Or I think that the way that I received love was whenever I would put my needs on the side and would put somebody else's needs before me. So this is a beautiful thing that I continue speaking to my therapist with. With that being said, how can you honor and heal your own inner child, right? So I believe that there are a lot of different ways that you can heal your own inner child. And a lot of times you healing yourself is you healing your inner child. For me, if you know me personally, you know that I love reading books. I like anything and everything about self-help. I like anything and everything about history. I like diving into religion. I like going to events that have to do with the wellness of your body, of your spirit, of your emotions. On top of that, I like to have fun. I like to go and dance. And I also like to do card readings. I like to tune into astrology. I like to do a lot of things. A lot of those I do for myself and for my own healing journey. And on top of all of that, I also have a consistent therapy practice where I sit with my own therapist. Because again, I was a caregiver. The thing that I did for most of my life was being a caregiver to other people around me. So for me, therapy is the way that I can make sure that once a month I have a space where I'm not giving care to anybody else at all, and the therapist is taking care of me. So that is something that I do to heal my own inner child. On top of the card readings, the astrology, the sessions that I have, energy sessions that I have with other people, or the silly little things. Like for example, we were talking about this before the podcast started. When we were younger, the moment that our parents would come home, they would not want to leave the house at all, which is not a bad thing. If they're tired, they're tired. That's how they want to recuperate, how they want to rejuvenate. That's totally fine. But I remember that when I was a kid, I'd be like, well, I want to go to Target. I want to go to Walgreens to get something. Let's do that. And now that I am in my own home and I have my husband, there was one time that we went on this mission to find a black and gold shirt. And we did it at 7 p.m. at nighttime. We went to Target, Ross, T.G. Maxx. And it was super fun. It's something that fed my inner child because it's something that I wouldn't have been able to do as a child. What about you? What are different ways that you honor and heal your inner child at least? Those are all really good examples because they're just a representation of, again, like that limitless thing, that limitless wonder. You can do anything. And so for me, tapping into my inner child, I might listen to music from 2007, 2008, because that's when I was really obsessed with like Camp Rock and just Disney, just everything Disney. So it can be as simple as the music that you listen. It can be as simple as what you decide to cook for yourself. Like, let's say your parents would bring in a lot of delivery food, like pizza or Chinese food, and no one would cook throughout the week. Or maybe you didn't have a family dinner. You can set up your own table. You can set up your own space and cook and have fun doing that and eat it with yourself and invite people over. Healing your inner child can be asking for some company or it can be being completely alone. So I think that it's really correlated to self-care. You're going to know what to do for your inner child because it is what you desire to do. And that desire is going to feed your needs and your wants because it's like you're not going to be repressed anymore. There's nothing being repressed. You're your full self. So I think that in the beginning of my creativity, I would repress my truth. And then the more that I would honor my truth, the more I felt myself. And I think that that is literally the inner child mission, because there's no end point. The goal, the value is to be your authentic self. That is the entire work of the inner child. So anything that is authentic to you, your mind, body, spirit, the combination of those three that you desire and the combination so that it could be healthy for your mind, body, and spirit, that is how you can heal your inner child. So I would love to just leave with one little ritual or one ceremony. For me, I suggest if you are listening to this and you feel called to it, you have a dance party. You take up as much room as you want because you can. You sing as loud as you want because you can. And if you can't do that in your house for some reason, go in your car. Go in your car and as you drive, listen to music and sing it as loud as you can because you can. And you can express yourself. Go on a walk if you want to do this and you don't feel like dancing or singing. Go on a walk and maybe look at the rocks. If you're more of a beach person, go pick up some shells and like make a sandcastle. If you want to get some ice cream, go get some ice cream. If you want to go to the store and buy yourself something cute to like cuddle with, like a little blanket or something, go do that. These things that will really just nurture you. Like I also, oh this is the simplest one, mirror work. Go in front of the mirror and just look at your eyes. You can eye gaze for like two minutes and then just like touch your face. That's it. Be like, oh this is my nose and these are my eyes and this has been here with me since the beginning of time. Since I've popped up in this world. This is a representation that I've been a child. I am a child. I am youthful. I have been youthful. I will be and that will never go away. That's beautiful. I'll add if you want to take a different approach too. Maybe do a guided meditation on YouTube to connect with your inner child. If this is your very first time trying to connect with your inner child, I would say that journaling might not be the best way. Just because if you google inner child journaling prompts and then you get like, what does my inner child need? And you're just kind of like, what? I don't know. I don't know what it needs because you haven't built that connection yet. So maybe doing a guided meditation to meet your inner child, connect with your inner child might be an easier way to start the process. And then you can start doing journaling prompts on top of just having more playfulness in your life. If you're here, we already know that you want to connect with yourself and find guidance in all of life situations. On this podcast, we believe that Art of Tarot is a beautiful practice and tool to do just that. Because of this, we dedicate a portion of our episode to you and your questions to be answered through the domination of cards. So go to our Instagram page at Alma Expressions to submit the question through the form linked in our bio. All right, so here we have a question from that was submitted. And the person, the listener said this. When I don't have a plan to do something and have free time, a lot of times I get excited because I have the free time and I look forward to it. But when it comes to the free time and I don't have plans and I'm there, I don't know what to do. And I actually realized I don't like not having a plan because in the moment I have to decide what to do. And I feel like it's too late. So my question is, why do I feel like that? And what do I do about free time when I don't have anything planned? How do I enjoy my time better? So the first thing I thought about was how has planning something before you have free time served you in the past? Because I feel like there's many ways that that does actually like, that does help you. If you have free time and you're like, okay, I have this free day, let me go to the beach. Like you have to plan that out. You can't just, I mean, you can just wake up and I've done that. I've been like, you know, today I'm going to the beach. And then I show up at 12 instead of like, maybe if I wanted to watch the sunset, the sunrise, or like maybe if I want to go there really early so I can like be there when there's no one there. Like if you feel something like, oh, I actually really want to plan this. How has that served you? And then that comes to also the other side of it, of like, how has it served you? If like, you've needed discipline because you just needed structure. You felt like you needed something to rely on, you needed, I know that's happened to me. And I, and I know the, in healing yourself, that there's a process where like, you want to wake up at a certain time, you want to eat a certain food at a certain time, you want to, because it helps you. Like, it doesn't mean that you have to skip up planning, but perhaps you want to balance it out where it's like, okay, for three days, let's say you go to the gym, I go to the gym, I'm going to put it to three days instead of having five days for two days, I'm just going to go outside and I'm going to breathe, or I'm going to dance instead of go to the gym. You don't have to pick one or the other. But I feel like if you're asking me this question, more flow states for you would be beneficial. Because again, you don't ask that question when it's benefiting you. I've had to have structure. I've had to wake up every single day, like how I said in the interview and go to hospitals. And I liked it. It grounded me so well. And now going to a high school every single day at five o'clock. I can see how the students are like, I don't want to do this anymore. Yeah. Because maybe you want to sleep in. And that's okay. I've had that too, where I've wanted to sleep in. And I've had it where I wanted to wake up every single day at seven o'clock, because that meant that I was accomplishing something. So I really think it's like those deeper questions of like, you know that you want to change it up. So does it mean that like, you're doing it? So you can feel like you are accomplishing something? Are you doing it? Because it does benefit you or doesn't benefit you? Okay, let's say that you want more flow states. Do you want recommendations of what that can look like? About what it can look like to just feel in the moment what it is? And like, perhaps making a list of like five things and then picking from that list? Like, so that's like another conversation that actually what you feel we can like go into. But how do you feel about the question? So I pulled some cards while you were speaking, and I have some cards that kind of go with what you were saying too. So the first one I have is the nine of wands. But it's like, special because it's like in this deck right here. And it's like, usually the nine of wands, it's kind of like, you know, like you worked really hard, you have a lot of responsibilities. And it's kind of like, you're almost at the end of this responsibility, you're almost at the end of all this hard work that you've done. So it's like, it feels nice to be able to rest and you look forward to the rest. But then with the whole question about like, I don't know, like, I'm excited about the free time. And then I don't know what to do when I get there. I think it's kind of like, I just kept getting like burnt out, especially with the nine of wands as well. Because nine of wands can be like a lot of responsibility. And sometimes it can be like, Oh, I kind of want to give up, I kind of want to do this anymore. Like, I just want to have free time. But then maybe finding some sort of structure in your own day. And tending to your emotions, because I also have the king of cups. So it's kind of like, so I feel like maybe the reason why this person might not have, like might have like a little bit of stress when it comes to like, I now have free time, I don't know what to do. It's more because it's like, you're so used to being busy and working hard all the time, that you get tired and you want to rest. But it's like, okay, so what do I do when I'm not busy, though? And it's like, well, maybe you need to tend to the emotions that are dealing with it, like be honest with yourself and communicate with yourself, because that's also what came up here, honesty and communication. But like, how can you enjoy your time better? And going in alignment with the nine of wands, the king of cups, and the honesty and communication card that I have is more like, how can you enjoy your time better? How can you listen to your heart better? We're back to the whole little lantern thing again. Because even with the king of cups, like this is the real answer right here, the king of cups. Like the nine of wands, I feel like it's more like this is why you're tired and you're looking forward to having these days off. Because you do put in hard work, because you do work hard. And you're enjoying the fact that it's like, okay, now I can do something for me. But do you know what me wants? Do you know what you want? Do you know what your heart wants? And I think that's really what the question is, like, how can you enjoy your time better? If you need to learn what your heart wants, and then follow that. And if some days it's structure and being productive, then make sure you're doing that because that is what you actually want to do with your life, not because you feel like you have to. And then other days, if you feel like maybe you want to just do something else that's more fulfilling, that might not be productive, or what other people say that a productive means like what is productive anyways, what is productive, that means something different for everybody. But I think that's what I have here with these cards. I really like your cards. I really like the king of water and the honest communication. I think we can come back to that. I just wanted to also say that I did draw two cards. Ooh, you can see them. If you're watching, you have the pleasure of looking how cool they look on my table. So I got the four of fire. I got the four of fire and the five of fire. So, it's definitely like different energies. And as Ashley said, it was explaining with her like nine of fire cards, like these conflicts, like this, this annoyances, these competitions, like, yeah, you are burnt out. Like, yeah, like you feel poked at. Yeah, like it's overwhelming. Like, yeah, like, you're gonna you if you feel like you're burnt out. Yeah, I mean, you're going through a lot of challenges and a lot of different forces that can feel very draining. And then it's like, okay, so you're celebrating. So the other to the four of fire is like, okay, celebration. You know, you're in community. People are helping you out. Instead of like this, this feeling of fire, five of fire, and like there's prosperity in it. I mean, if you look at it like they're dancing, you can't really see this card very well here, but maybe you can see they're dancing and there's roses and they're on their platform and they're feeling good. And maybe, you know, you have felt good being on a platform and striving and doing your shit and getting your shit done and having that to do list. And it seems like it's not serving you anymore, because you feel overwhelmed. And you wouldn't ask that question again, if it was serving you. And balance is definitely something that I feel like is coming your way. And with Ashley's cards of the king of water and the content and honesty. I mean, if you think about it, water, if you put fire and water together, it'll boil. And then the water will shush away. So it's like, it's all your emotions shushed away. Because because you're so fiery. You know what I mean? Like thinking about it in that sense, like, just having, I think the practice that you said of, of having something for yourself that you can like, listen to your heart and communicate with who you are, what your idea of success is, like, what you're, what you want as structure, what you want as success would be really beneficial. Because, I mean, it's, you're not alone. This is not a problem that is weird. Like, Oh, my God, like, you're the only one that we're in America. I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this. So you're 100% not alone. This has happened to me. I mean, like, even today, and the hour that I do, if you listen to the podcast, go listen to the podcast. When I listen to when I have that hour of just journaling, sometimes I have to like, stop three times and take a breath to be like, you don't need to go take care of any kids, you can journal for an hour, you can do that. And if you are used to that structure, having a timer could be very beneficial. And like how Ashi said, having a practice for you. So you can use that energy, but dedicating it to you. And maybe like, that could be one step forward to having a day with nothing and being content with doing nothing, whatever nothing means. But like having steps towards that is going to be very beneficial with a timer and with structure, because that's what you've leaned on. And again, that serves you in the past, you're here, because of that. And I'm sure you want to have a balanced way of being able to celebrate your life. And you're going to get there and you are there. And it's really just like, connecting to that communication, that honesty, which is it's already in you, you wouldn't be asking that question. If your heart wasn't already feeling it. So for me, something that helps me is I have this table next to my next to my desk. And it has like, what can you do about it, in the sense where it has a lot of options. So like, let's say you don't know what to do. That's okay, too. Let's say that you don't, you don't know what your heart wants. That's okay, you're going to build it over time, you can just look at the list and pick from that list. And your heart will will tell you what it wants from that list. And that's okay, too, because you're still communicating to your inner guide anyway. So yeah, I kind of blended with your cards, Ash. But again, I really do like that, especially the King of Water. Yes. So dear listener, whoever submitted this question, I hope that that helped and that you can find some answers soon to that.