MOG 1ST full EDIT

Two Irish girls have started a podcast called Mother of God where they chat about life and funny moments. They talk about their friendship, including living together and throwing a messy party. They also discuss dating and their experiences with it, including funny stories and the challenges of dating apps. They mention a French bakery they love and joke about getting sponsored by them. Overall, it's a lighthearted and funny podcast about various topics. Hello everyone and welcome to Mother of God. Mother of God. It's basically two Irish girls sitting down, chatting shit. It's a totally unique idea, no one's ever done it before. So we're really hoping this is going to take off. I'm sorry, I thought I had a blank face. What up, what up, what up? What up? This is AC Flayer and... Paz with a capital H. And we are coming to you from the cramped flat in London Town. Have we kind of found anything bigger? Living the life of luxury. Yeah, always. So yeah, this is Mother of God. Yeah, we talk about life and there's Mother of God moments. Yeah, those moments that make you go... That make you really religious. You know, when we're like totally not religious, we're basically a-religious, we're like secular. But there's moments where it's like... The only thing you can say is Jesus Christ or Holy Mother of God or... Christ on a bike. Christ on a bike, yes exactly. I'm here for it. I don't think Jesus ever rode a bike. Let's not go down this religion. Well, I mean, think about it. When was the bike invented and when was Jesus invented? How do we know each other? How do we know each other? We go back ages, don't we? Yeah, fucking hell, it's been a long time. Oh my God, it's like... It's probably like, what, ten years now? Ten years. Started off playing hockey together, we were killer strikers. Sport stars. Sport stars. You may have seen me on the Irish Olympic team. You definitely wouldn't have seen me on the Irish Olympic team. But yeah, we played hockey together. Moved to London, lived together, almost fell out as friends and... I don't think that's fair. I think you were very tolerant of me and my misgivings. And you? But you eventually just could not take it and had to leave. Pretty much. Five minutes down the foggy road, it's not like, even like you were like, I'm moving to Zambia. You were like, I'm literally moving next door because I can't stand to be with you. Like, not stand to be with you, stand to live with you. Okay, fair enough. Is that fair? Well, like... Presently we're very good friends. And it was the best decision I ever made. Because we might not be sitting here right now. We definitely wouldn't be sitting here right now if we were still roommates. Do you know what a low point of us living together was? And it was caused by neither of us, so I think it's fair game now. You never caused any problems. I only did. So we had this huge party. It was like our first or second year in London. And we just basically invited everyone and anyone we knew. Into our tiny... Tiny pre-bed flat. Like, to say that... So it was described as having a kitchen and living room. And I would say that we had neither, really. Like, we had truly neither. But we did know how to put on a party. We did know how to put on a party. Mexican themed tequila, tequila! Yeah, we threw a Mexican themed party. And so, like, the night on was just so messy. Like, several people got sick. Like, you fell over, do you remember? In the back garden, which is hilarious. Yeah, it was a long time ago now. Under Gary the gazebo, do you remember? Which we actually left up for, like, nine months after the party. And it finally came down when the beast from the east came. And, like, the weight of the snow on top of Gary's gazebo finally broke it. So we miss you, Gary. That's the beast. But, yeah, so, the party was, like, really, really messy. We had it on a Saturday night, and then on one day... I don't know where she's going with this, guys, by the way. You don't remember? Sorry, okay. Well, your TikTok is good. I remember, on the Monday morning, I, like, put on a T-shirt and put on, like, jeans for work. So did I, too. I was, like, I was on the tube. Right. And on the northern line, so, like, dying at, like, 8 a.m. The deepest, darkest depths of the northern line. Yeah, exactly, like, in the belly of the beast. And I got, like, this smell of, like, I don't know what it was. It was just, like, a stinging in my nose. And I was, like, oh, it's probably something on the tube, because, like, you know, shit happens on the tube. It's definitely happening. And then I get to work, and I'm still getting this smell. And I'm, like, what the fuck? I'm, like, is there something in the air in London today? Like, did you know it's you? So I was, like, oh, fuck, it's me. So, like, I went into the bathroom, and I gave it, like, a proper sniff. And I finally identified the smell, and it was vomit. So the night of our party, one of my brother's friends, who will remain nameless, just because we don't... We ain't going name drop. Yeah, exactly. We ain't going name drop until we meet Beyonce. Then we go name drop. He had gotten sick in the kitchen. He had wiped it up with a tea towel and put it straight into the washing machine. Then me, on Sunday, getting ready for work, like, for the next week, put in all my work clothes with that sicky tea towel, washed it, and all of my clothes smelled like vomit. It was... It was truly a... I actually forgot that the washing machine was kind of like an extension of your cupboard. Like, that was... Oh, my God, shots fired. Honestly, somebody's going to call St. George's because I'm going to need some medical help after all of these burns that I'm facing today. I feel like I just forgot how much shit happened in that house. Northern Line is just... The Northern Line pre-COVID is, like, a special type of health. Like, it's, like... It was, like, before people could work from home, so it was just... You were sandwiched in there. Okay, this is our final story about 129 because we've got way too much content about 129, and it does take up the whole podcast. We could literally talk about it. Do you remember when... So, we lived with our friend Katie. I know. Wait, are you... Okay, do you think I'm going to talk about the mouse and slugs? I thought you were going to talk about Maureen, the mouse, and the slug jump, and her coming out of her room. She's looking like Shrek. I'm actually going to pee my pants. Oh, my God. Do we actually... Hearing all these stories, I'm like, are we actually okay? We nicknamed a mouse Maureen, and Katie claimed he jumped over the bed, so we said he's an Olympic long jumper. We said he was an Olympic long jumper that came from Estonia to pursue his dream of getting into the 2012 Olympics, and it didn't work out, so now he runs a dry cleaning store. But the fact that I even have to say, are you talking about the mouse or the slugs? Anyway. All right. Right. So, let's get down to business. That's us. That's our... That's our... Are you guys ready? I think you need to buckle up, because that's only the intro. Yeah, exactly. That's only the beginning. Let's get serious. Let's get serious. We're not going to get that serious. Then get serious. So, Haz, I've been off the dating scene for a while now. She is almost to be wedded. She is almost to be wedded. I am locked down. She is locked down. I am in COVID lockdown. I ain't going nowhere. But... Dating. From what I remember of dating, it was, like, super fun, but the last time I properly dated was when I was, like, 25, 26, and I feel like the pressure's not on. God, have you and Missy been together for that long? Yeah, we're five and a half years now. Jesus, you've got to get a ring on that. I know. I can't fucking afford one. Don't be scared. I'll fucking show you. Like... Aisling's a student now. And guess who fucking paid for the sandwiches today? This girl. I'm pointing to me, obviously. OK. But also, big tip, if you're looking for a really good sandwich in Wimbledon... Oh, my God. And we would love to be sponsored by these guys so that we could get free sandwiches for life. We'd probably be a beast if we'd go there every single day. Oh, my God. So true. In South West London, there's a French bakery called Chantereau. They only do fresh rolls. They come straight out of the oven. They're hot AF. And we got the salami and brie today, and... I actually ate mine so quickly, and I could genuinely have another one. Yeah. Oh, my God, same. This morning, I woke up, and I was like, I want one of those sandwiches. And my mouth was just watering. I messaged Aisling, bear in mind this is a Thursday, neither of us are at work. I was like, I want to go get a sandwich at that fast sandwich shop in Wimbledon. It beats collecting the dough. Like, what are we doing? But yeah, fast food doesn't matter. Dating. Dating. I haven't dated since, you know, 2018. So I've been off since... A lot of showing. I think, though, COVID as well. Yeah, COVID kind of... You know, COVID kind of fucked everyone over with the... Well, actually, what happened for a lot of people during COVID was they were like, this girl is hella fab. And then when COVID ended, they were like, oh, my God, we've got nothing in common. That happened to me. That's what happened to you with that guy, Mr. X. We shall not name him. Bless him. He's a lovely, lovely guy. But my God, I was like, things are opening. He was like a 50-year-old dad. He didn't want to do anything. He was so boring. My God, he was so boring. Yeah. Isn't it crazy the stuff we put up with for the ride? Like, it's like, you're like, okay, like, they're a bit like... Do you know what it was? I remember dating this girl before I met Lizzie, and she wore leopard print every time we went out. A bit of leopard print here and there. I'm a fan. Look, I'm a vet student. I like animals. She does the same thing every day. Yeah, but she had so much leopard print. I'm saying leopard print is not my voice. It's not my style. She doesn't like the leopard. No, no. She's a cougar. Yeah, well, yeah. Needless to say, that was the last person I dated before I met Lizzie. Yeah. But, yeah, what's going on? What's going on in the dating world? I don't know. I feel like the dating apps are just a bit meh. Now, guys, you can write in. You can message me if you feel differently. But they're just a bit laid back. I just want a guy to chat me up in a coffee shop. But don't you think... I would be Sandsteel Delivered. I'd be like, let's go back to yours. My leg's not open. I am open for business. I am open for business. I'm joking. Listen, my sisters will be listening to this. I would not be. I'm a classy girl. Sarah and Laura, she's a very classy girl. I am. But, yeah, it's just a bit... I mean, I think also when you don't want to run a really shit date, you're kind of like... You just start to lose, like, the will. I'm a catch. You're an absolute catch. But the thing is, what's so hard about online dating is that, like, back in our parents' day, they would meet an actual person, so let's say at a bar or a pub or something like that, and you know within 30 seconds if you are attracted to someone. This is true. Honestly, if you think... And you can't fake it. No, you can't fake it. Well, you can fake some things, but you can't, like... You know what I mean? I always think people are like, oh, I'll grow to, like, you know, be attracted to you. I don't think that ever actually happens. No. And the problem with dating apps is that, like... Do you know what it... From beginning contact to then actually meeting them, you could have wasted, like, two fucking weeks. I know. Yeah. That's what we should call the podcast. I don't want a fucking pen pal. But it's true. Some guys are literally, like... Do you ever have a pen pal in school? I had a pen pal in school. She was French, and I spoke, like, no French, and she would write back to me in, like, French. That's pretty cute. Yeah, but, like, neither of us... Didn't chat her up. No. I was like, oh, I'm eight. What age are you? I didn't see you on my phone. No, I've literally probably revealed it. She didn't know she was gay yet. I didn't know I was gay. That came later. Back to that boring guy that I dated. He said... Mr. X. Mr. X. Bless his soul. I hope he's doing really well and he's gotten a bit more fun. I'm sure he is. I'm sure he is. I'm sure he's sitting down, learning to mix. Do you know what I knew I had to break up with him, though, was my birthday was coming up, and I was like, my friends will eat him alive. Oh, my God. I was like, I don't need to, like, hold your hand and introduce everyone. Do you know what? I need someone who can work a room. That is the worst. And leave me be. Honestly, that's... No, hand-holding is the worst, like, and it was really important to me when me and Lizzie got together because our group of friends, I don't know if you guys know, but we are two quite loud Irish people. I don't know if you've noticed. Fighting over the mic. Yeah, really competitive, like, crazy competitive, our whole group is. It's quite surprising that we're all friends, considering... Oh, yeah, considering that we're all bitches. No, we're not bitches, but we're just, like, we're passionate. We're very passionate. And I was like, will Lizzie be able to handle it? She handled it like a trooper. Her first fucking time that she met you guys, this is... Oh, I love this story. So we'd been dating for, like, a couple of months, and I was like, oh, you should come, like, meet my friends. So a group of us were going to the Alex, shout-out to the Alex. Shout-out to the Alex in Clapham. Oh, we love you. Although your service is literally the slowest in London, like, I don't know how that's possible because you have, like, ten people on staff at a time. We were watching Ireland versus France, first game of the Six Nations. We're huge rugby fans. And, I don't know, there was, like, ten of us there, was there? No, I actually still have the image of it all unfolding. Oh, my God. So Lizzie was like, oh, OK, like, I'll come along. I think it was going to be very chill. Like, literally, our group had no chill. No chill in our group. If our group was to Netflix and chill, it would just be Netflix. Like, we had zero chill. Zero chill. And she came along, and Johnny Sexton won the game in the 84th minute, so four minutes over time, with a 40-yard drop kick. And our entire friend group lost their minds. So by the end of our celebrations, Lizzie was covered head to toe in Guinness. Two of our friends were crying out of happiness. Like, and this was her first time meeting you guys. Like, to say it was intense, like a baptism of fire, is, like, such an understatement. She handled it like a trooper. Handled it like a pro. She's a pro. She's a 100. I remember, like, ghosting wasn't as much of a thing the last time I was dating. But now it's, like, so prolific. And I know we have different views on this. We do have differing views on this. So what's your take on ghosting? When is it acceptable? When is it bullshit? So, obviously, I don't think ghosting is OK. I have been ghosted myself. You have been ghosted. Yes, I have. I will admit, not for a long time. I've grown up. Yeah, that's cool. But I feel like if you are talking on a dating app and you go on one date, you know straight away it's a no. You know they think the same. It is totally acceptable to ghost. You think? If they message you and they say, be really nice to see you again, I would, of course, message back. And be kind of like, listen, I wasn't really feeling it. I didn't really want to rip your clothes off. But I don't think you don't need to give them a big, long message. Be like, I'm really sorry, I didn't have a connection, blah, blah, blah. Draw a line, so if you meet and there is a mutual understanding that this isn't going anywhere, nothing else needs to be said. So I draw the line a bit earlier than that. Ask things like once you start talking. Basically, I'm like, because girls are always falling in love with me, that's not at all true. I don't know how I got Lizzie and I still to this day don't know how I got her. But I used to draw the line, like, ghosting, I'd be like, it's okay to ghost when you're on the app, so when you haven't met in person yet. I think once you put a name to the face, sorry, a face and a name even, they become a human being, you've met them in person, you've taken up their time, the least you can do is be like, sorry, you're fugly, I never want to see you again, obviously not saying you're fugly. I just think like, if you did that for every single person that you went on a date, I just don't think it's necessary. I don't think it's necessary. It's a three sentence text. It's literally like, hey, it was really nice to meet you, I don't see this going anywhere, better luck. But what if they don't message you? Are you still going to send that message? Well, it's a bit different. This is what I mean. If you got on one date, are you telling me, I get home after that date, and I message him being like, really nice to meet you, I wasn't feeling it. No, that's even worse. I'd rather be ghosted. Okay, what I should clarify is, Harriet is straight as an arrow, and I am as bent as a free cake from David Beckham. Like, I bend it like Beckham over here. God, what a great film. Oh my god, best film ever. You knew I liked him, Jess! You know when they're dancing in clubs? That's the part. What's her name? Jonathan Rees-Mogg dancing in a club in Berlin. Or was it Berlin? Yeah, it was. Oh my god. I always remember, I just really, Keira Knightley in that club scene where she's got that backwards top, I was like, she is a boss ass bitch. Oh my god, I cannot think of anything more embarrassing than that halter top, like, to say it is early noughties, like, it absolutely nails early noughties. Completely. Such a great film. Get your lefty feet out of my shoes! And juicy juicy mangoes. And juicy juicy mangoes. Isn't that just the worst, when you arrive at a date, and literally, I'm saying, you don't even need to hear them open their mouth, you're straight away like, and it's not in a bad way, it's just you don't have that instant attraction, and you're just like, oh god, now I need to sit here for an hour and a half. It's literally the worst thing ever, like, you know so quickly, like, I can't tell you how many dates, how much money I've spent, like, just getting the tube into fucking central London and back, buying, cause I always had a, getting that Northern line. Yeah, getting that Northern line. Cause I had a two drink minimum. I always said to myself, it's rude to leave without having a two drink. And I agree with that as well, I do think like, like, if they've showed up, and they're making the effort, even if you don't, like, feel the attraction, you should stay for like, I think two drinks. Yeah, I agree. Cause then one of you can pay for the first round, the other can pay for the next, it's all square, and then you can like, make up an excuse to go. There's nothing worse than a crap date, and let me tell you, all of our friends have some absolute crackers of date stories, which we will get to. That's actually something I want to talk about. So, what, so the ick, right? Can the ick be un-icked? Can the ick be un-icked? I don't think it can. I have never... I got the ick and it took over, and never again. With Mr. X? Mr. X and, yeah. And who? Someone else that we... And Mr. Y? Mr. Y. Oh, shit. Oh! Mr. Y! Oh my God, finally clicked. Your man. So, Harriet, what is... So, I live in perpetual fear that I'm going to get the ick from Lizzie. No, you would have gotten it already. For five and a half years, and I'm really worried. It's like catching the flu. I'm worried that I'm going to wake up one morning and get the ick. But like, I don't think it happens after that long. I don't think so. I think the ick would have already taken over. So, what was the smallest thing about a guy that gave you the ick? I mean, the most recent ick, it was because of the shoes that he wore. The shoes? Yeah. Okay, Mr. Y... Your man. Your man. He was... You were pining after him for months. I really fancied him, yeah. And then finally went to a party, and he was there in his general, normal attire. And the ick just took over. His shoes were horrendous. And then he was really annoying that night, and I was like, the ick has taken over. The ick is here. And just like that, it was like a change. Like six months, she was like, I really fancy this guy. And just like that, the ick set in. It was fucking crazy. And you know what? That's not the first time one of our friends has been put off by just a man's clothing. I know. Scarf boy. Scarf boy. We literally haven't... We have no idea who this boy is. I'm sure he's a little... Shout out to scarf boy. Shout out to scarf boy wherever you are. Hope you're staying warm with your scarf. He's the type of guy that's definitely wearing a scarf during a party. Yeah. Currently 27. Not that either of us were on the date. Yeah. So basically, one of our friends came home from a date one night and was giving us the full debrief. And she was like, he was really nice. Like, you know... See, as she said, it's like such a lovely guy. Such a good guy. Like, you know, he was like really interested in her and what she does because she's a psychologist. So he's like asking her all about that. And she was like, but guys, like, I just couldn't get over like one thing. And we were like, like what? Like we thought he was going to say he was like a fucking Tory or something like that. Like we were like, you know, which is grounds to like end a date like on the spot in my opinion. But it was because he was wearing a scarf. And let me just tell you, this date occurred in December in the Northern Hemisphere when wearing scarves is perfectly normal. But she was like, she just couldn't get over the scarf. So something as small as that can cause the itch. Yeah. I don't think that it can be unex. I would really like to hear from anyone. Yes. So whoever we send this to, we're doing a little market testing at the beginning, getting some feedback on what you guys think. Hey, how's the itch? Hey girl. Hey, how's the itch ever been unex? Do you know what gave me the itch? What? Finding out a woman was married after I slept with her. But that's like not even the itch. That's just, you were like, oh man. I can't believe I said that. Yeah, exactly. Like how fucked up is that? You were the other woman without knowing that you were the other woman. Which I think is so unfair. That's really bad. That's really bad. No, you need to give somebody the option if they want to be the other woman. Instead, we had done the deed and literally the next morning, I actually have a really funny story about that. She told me then that she was still married. And I was like, like, what? What? Like, my mind was literally like blown off my head. I was like, oh my God, I'm the other woman. But the funnier thing about that night was that so it was a week night. I remember it's like a Wednesday or Thursday. So I had work in the morning. She was going to leave on the weekday. Leave on the weekday. No, honestly, the sex was terrible. She had like the longest nipples. It was so weird. Anyway. That I said, it was nipples. Yeah, nipples are perfect. Just these actually kind of hurt because they were so pointy, but whatever. So, the funniest thing about that date was, so after she told me she was married, I was like, this is like so fucked up. Like, you know, I can't believe that like you're married. Your wife's out of town. It's really unfair that you put me in this situation. Yeah, definitely. And I was like, but I'm still going to sleep over. You still, you knew. No, I did it beforehand. We didn't do it again after she told me, so we had sex. Okay, sorry. But I did stay over in her house because I was like, bitch, you owe me. And I am not going all the way back to Southwest London because I was in Northeast London at the time and it would have been a heck of a commute. So I was like, I'm still staying over, but you kind of disgust me now. So anyway, I was like leaving in the morning, literally like one or two words, like exchanged between us. Oh, it's always that awkward. Yeah, it's so awkward. Like after a one night stand, like, alright, bye then. This is back in the days that we used cash. So us dinosaurs remember it. But I left 20 quid on her nightstand. Like, so I'd like taken all the stuff out of my pockets and like left it there and I left 20 quid there. And I was like, you know, this is quite fitting because, you know, I just paid you like a prostitute and you really acted like a hoe. She's so funny. I'm sorry, but I basically broke up a marriage without my knowledge. That's not cool. Like that is really not cool. No bloodshaming here either. Like, I am very sex positive, but like, I was like, it will be slightly hilarious if she thinks I thought she was a prostitute by me leaving the money on the nightstand. I doubt she did. She was like, she was like, she was like, I'm surprised that you didn't go back and get it because actually I do. I know. I am, I'm so cheap. I'm so cheap. So basically, mother of God moment, is something that's happened to you or something that you've seen on the news that has literally made you, like, become religious again, see God again. Yeah. Be like, Jesus Christ, the mother of God. And it can be a, mother of God. Yeah. Or a shock. Yeah. Or it can be, it's quite an Irish thing, but we think y'all are gonna like it. So my mother of God moment, it was like a mother of God, like event. It was, it's just whiz air, right? I don't know if you guys have ever flown with them. I am always one for a bargain. You've been name dropping all these, all these brands, but we're definitely not gonna get sponsored by whiz air after this story. Well, finally, like when I flew with whiz air, I knew where they got their name from. It's because they literally ripped the piss with absolutely everything. Like, Sounds about right. Right. Now, whiz air compared to Ryanair. Oh, whiz air's worse. And Ryanair, I hate them with a fiery passion, but love you if you want to sponsor us, but like also hate you because you're terrible. I have turned into an air lingo snob. Yeah, but that's because you've had the money. What kind of money? I'm literally on rails. Monopoly money. Yeah. I'm literally on rail and sail vibes at the moment. Your mother of God moment, whiz air. Whiz air. So, whiz air, whiz air, take a whiz in the sky. I'm whiz air. It comes out. I actually did. I went to the bathroom. What happens to to pee? It all gets gets thrown out in a box, no? It all goes in a box. A box of pee? Yeah, and then it gets taken off the fly and pumped out into the air. So why are boxes of piss? No, like when you land. When you land, it's like they, like refueling, but they put a pump and it takes all the poo and piss out. They refuel but they de-piss. Yeah. Oh my God. Okay, but yeah, whiz air. Honestly. Take a whiz in the sky. I'm whiz air. Whiz air, they're worse than Ryanair and that is a really, really tough achievement. So, like, me and my girlfriend, we were flying to Portugal for a week's holiday and our flight was supposed to be at 8am from Gatwick. So it was like, grand, gotta get up early, gotta get a train at like 6 o'clock to be there. Gotta catch the train. You gotta catch the train. FYI, big tip. If you go to Clapham Junction, you can get anywhere in the world. I am convinced you can get anywhere in the world. Name, name a country, send us a WhatsApp or an email. We're gonna give an email at the end of this and just tell me where you cannot get from Clapham Junction because, honestly, I think you can get anywhere. Zambia? Yes, go for it. I'm like, Skunthorpe? Absolutely. You've got me a lot in these things. Got it, anyway. But yeah, so whiz air, so, we're getting this flight, it's supposed to be at 8. We're on our way to the airport so we've gotten up at 5am to go get the train from Clapham Junction and we get a message when we're on the platform being like, your flight has been delayed by four hours. So it's like, that's cool. I didn't need that extra four hours in bed anyway. It's only half five in the fucking morning. So we get there. That's cool. We get there. We're like, well, we might as well go because by the time we go back, chill out. So we get to Gatwick and we're just going through security and you know when you have to scan your boarding pass at the very beginning of security? It's like, and it's literally, yeah, that was the sound it actually made. It was like, literally like, thou shalt not pass, like fucking Gandalf. I was like, what is this? So it was like, flight not found is what it said on the thing and we were like, what is going on? We never even exist. Like, have we even, have we even scanned? Yeah, have we even scanned? So, so I walk up to one of the like, security staff at the airport and I'm like, hey, like we have this flight but it's not letting us through. It's been delayed so we haven't got any new boarding passes and she was like, okay, so she like, took my phone, walked off, spoke to her supervisor and came back and was like, yeah, there's no flight registered. Like, I was like, excuse me? Like, we supposed to be going on holidays. I was like, it's one thing for your like, flight to be delayed but for your flight not to exist. I was like, oh, my God. Yeah. So then me and Lizzie are like, okay, let's reach out to the airline. They don't have a contact number. Great. The only contact, even Ryanair has a contact number. Now you'll be on Ryanair for, what, an hour before you actually speak to a human being but you'll eventually speak to a human being. Like, as in they have an actual number whereas Wizz Air had no contact number. What about the check-in desk? They had one contact number, right? Registered in Poland. We rang it and it said, this number is not in use. And we were like, okay, fan-fucking-tastic. I was like, mother of God, this service is horrific. So I was like, that's what we did next. We went down to the check-in desk. There's a line and I asked the guy in front of me, we didn't get to the back of the line, I asked the guy in front of me, how long you been waiting this line? And he was like, 40 minutes. I was like, no. I was like, no, no, no, no. Like, I am not doing this. So I did the thing that English people hate, which is just jump the queue. I went straight to the top of the queue. Not just English people. Well, like lots of people. I was like, you know those zippy things that make the lines like those? Yeah, you're just like, fuck it. No, but it's so embarrassing. It's not. So I like, lifted it up and I was like, yeah, I've got that confidence. But then I let it go to the back of the line and I was like, yeah, I've got that confidence. But then I let it go too quickly and it literally like, like, and like made this big noise and everyone in the queue was looking at me. But anyway, so I go up to the woman and I was like, apparently our flight doesn't exist according to security. Like, I'm really hoping it does and we get the details or whatever. And she was like, oh yeah, we just said we haven't registered the flight yet. None of this means anything to me. Like, am I going to Portugal today or not? Like, is what I really want to know. That is the big question. That is the question. Did you get on the plane? Did you get on the plane? I got off the plane. I got off the plane. I got on the plane and I got off the plane in Portugal. Um, but anyway, Mother of God. Mother of God. Airports though, in general, like, there is no, they didn't used to be like this, you know, they're horrific now. I feel like COVID has given people amnesia in terms of how to act in an airport because the amount of times security, it fascinates me, people, I didn't know I needed a passport. I saw that when I was going down to Dublin. A woman trying to get on a flight, she didn't have any, she didn't have any photo ID with her and then started kicking up a fuss and you know when you're standing there like, you are an idiot. Did she just like, you know, grab a crayon and a piece of paper and was like, this is my best sketch of myself age 22. It was more like she was just getting really irate with the air hostess because she wasn't letting her go through security. You know what, I actually do think feel bad for all the flight attendants and stuff like that because it's all the people at the top, right? They just want to cut costs and they're not on the ground, they're not at the check-in desk or on the flight so then when you give out shit to a flight attendant, you're like, it's not their fault. It's not their fault. Shout out to all the air hostess men working in the airport security guys. That was always a fantasy of mine, you know, Britney Spears air hostess thing. Do you know what's really interesting, not interesting, a very cool fact, going through Dublin Airport Terminal 2, you don't have to take your liquids out of your hand luggage anymore. I've seen these. Big water bottle and I was like, oh shite, and he was like, don't worry, go on through. It was grand. I was like, life changing. They have it on a Heathrow now but not like that like it. Don't have to put anything in a plastic bag, reducing plastic, call it for a dollar. It's actually so to win. What's the funniest thing you've seen someone trying out through security? Basically, rest in peace our beautiful dog Becky who passed away many years ago. She's a great dog but my sister, obviously, she's now a vet so Becky was like her best friend so when she passed away Sarah was very sad and for a solid two years Sarah used to she used to get stopped in security because she'd bring a friend because she'd bring a framed photo of Becky three with her and then when we'd get on the plane she'd put the table down and put the photo with Becky's collar and a lock of her hair. It's like a fucking shrine. It was. It was. It stopped for a while. She brought a collar and a tuft of hair through an airport. Isn't that right? And she was just like it's my dog that dies and I think that shut him up real quick. He was like God this child's clearly truly dying. But yeah. Boss, my finishing of My Mother of God. Oh yes, we're still on this. How long? Because you don't stop interrupting me. We'll interrupt each other all the time. That's just how Irish people are. We have an amazing ability to have like six conversations at one time with like six different people and which really like shocks the English. The English are so comfortable with silence and I am so uncomfortable with silence. Yeah, Irish people I think in general we have a problem though. We just fill silence with choice. But anyway, if you want a guy to go up to security and be like this flight is actually happening, can you let them through? So we finally got through but honestly Wizz Air avoid like the plague Unless they sponsor us. Unless they sponsor us obviously. Then we love Wizz Air but honestly Ryanair is better so that should tell you a lot about how Wizz Air operates. So what about you Haz? Mother of God moment. It's what 7am I'm waiting outside Morton Station to get the bus to work and this like 50 year old man just stares me up and down and then blows a kiss towards me. And you know when you're just like mother of God like I do not need this shit. I'm probably giving him like stare down eyes the fuck off. When was that? Was it you on Westminster Bridge when you were like in a skirt and somebody Oh yeah when someone was like hey sexy yeah and my dad was with me. I literally just moved to London and was living in hostel accommodation like dollar for a dollar and basically me and my dad were going to go find somewhere to eat. We were walking along Westminster Bridge like I can't believe I moved to this really cool city. Yeah you were like look at me look there's big Betty boo boo making it on my own in the big city in the big schmork in the big schmork I don't think that show would have done as well on TV so Hey I know you got the leg for it anyways and yeah I'm basically standing at the track lights of my dad and this man just comes up beside me and goes hey sexy and my dad looked at him like I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know