Confidence in the Gym

Emma Henning shares her experience as a woman in the gym environment. She started going to the gym in 2020 to boost her confidence after a bad relationship. The transition from working out at home to the gym was a major change, especially dealing with judgment from others. Emma faced more judgment from women than men. She advises young girls to do what makes them feel confident and not worry about what others think. Emma emphasizes the importance of finding resources like social media for guidance in the gym but also warns about unrealistic expectations set by influencers. She believes that the gym should be a mental health routine rather than solely focusing on appearance. Building confidence in the gym can be achieved by being kind to others and not being afraid of making mistakes. Emma does not feel inferior or self-conscious around muscular individuals in the gym, as she sees them in a different light and believes they may have their own insecurities. Emma also discusses the issue Hi, and welcome to our podcast. My name is Zane Leonard, and today I am here with the most beautiful, wonderful girl in the world, my fiancée Emma Henning. Today's podcast, we're going to be talking about what it's like being a woman in the gym environment and some different things that you might be able to do to help build your confidence and handle some of the adversity that women face while they're in the gym. Emma, if you don't mind just talking about your experience in the gym. Well, do you want to hear about when I first started going to the gym, like why, or? Yeah, let's start there. Okay, so I started going to the gym in 2020. I had just gotten out of a pretty bad relationship, and I felt like it would help with my confidence, and four years later, it has, so. Yeah, so what was it like first entering that gym environment in 2020? So what's crazy is whenever I started the gym, it was 2020, so it was COVID, and all the gyms were closed. So I originally started working out at my home in just a little office area, so transitioning from that to the gym was actually a major change. Yeah, so that's, what was the biggest difference that you were seeing? The people, for sure. I think within maybe even the first month, I had two or three guys, they would be in a group, and they would talk about me, they would try and talk to me, and it was just gave me anxiety that I didn't have when working out at home. And do you feel like, do you feel like there's judgment, or like people are looking at you different because you're a female in what is normally considered a male environment? I would say really not, I don't get a lot of judgment from men. I get more judgment from other women, and I don't know why that is. Yeah. So what do you think are some of the biggest problems that you're facing, even starting in 2020 up until now? Well, I've gone through a lot of phases in the gym, I've gone through, you know, I think a lot of people do the same thing that I did. They start and they're like, oh, I'm really serious about this, I'm going to try and lift really heavy, I'm going to spend a lot of time, and as you keep going, you have to kind of give yourself a happy medium of what you eat, how long you go, what you allow yourself to do, even if it's, you allow yourself to drink some on the weekend and you didn't want to do that before because you thought it would be bad for your performance in the gym, and now I just feel like I've had some normalcy in my daily life, especially since I have started working a 9 to 5 this year. I go to the gym after, and it's kind of more of just a routine for my mental health, if anything else. And so, for a young girl, high school or coming out of high school, and they're now starting to go to the gym on their own, which they may not have before, what do you think are some of the biggest things, like, one, to look out for, and two, to help them with their confidence, that sort of thing? I think they should just 100% do what they want to do. If they feel most confident walking on a treadmill, then walk on the treadmill. I don't care what people say about you. You shouldn't have to feel bad about not wanting to use the machines yet. If you have to walk on the treadmill first and work your way up to one machine, next week you do two machines, next week you do three, and then eventually you're just doing machines, and then one day you start doing dumbbells or whatnot, just do what you want to do, and it doesn't matter what people say. Yeah, and I think that's a big thing, is trying to avoid worrying about what other people are thinking when it comes to your gym progressions and the sort of things you're doing in there. For me personally, like, coming up, I've been home gym, regular gym, high school gym, college gym, and I've always had somebody kind of there training me. When I was coming up, it was my dad for a really long time. And then once I got here to Swaziland, it was the strength coaches here. And so I have been able to gather a lot of knowledge, and I have some confidence in what I'm doing in the gym and what's going to suit me. How do you feel a person who may not have those same resources should go about trying to figure out what's good for them in the gym? I mean, I really think there's resources out there, especially with social media. I looked at Instagram. You know, there's a lot of gym influencers, and a lot of them will show you how to do certain techniques. But I will say, with the question you asked me earlier for young girls, it is something to watch out for, because these are people, that's all they do. Sometimes they don't even work a 9 to 5, and they just sit and they do the gym. They have time to eat healthy, meal prep. And they look a certain way that not everyone is going to be able to achieve that, especially with working and everything else that you do in your daily life. So I think the Internet is a good way. You can even Google things, YouTube. I don't think that you have to be raised in a gym environment to want to go to the gym. I think anyone can go to the gym. Yeah, and that's something that personally I think is really important. Obviously, we've talked about my goal post-college and in that area is to open up my own gym. And I think that's a great thing at all ages to be able to feel confident in the gym and be able to go and have some help, whether it is YouTube or something of that sort. Like you said, you can find a lot of areas. We also brought up a good point that there are some people on there who look extremely And being able to decipher whether that is something that is possible for somebody who works a nine-to-five job or is possible for somebody who may be on some sort of steroid or testosterone replacement can be really difficult. And that brings up one of our other points, like the confidence of it. How do you feel like you can keep working and how do you break that down where it's like, okay, this isn't natural, this isn't something that I'm striving for, and that sort of thing? I think I started progressing in the gym and enjoying going to the gym whenever I started doing the gym. It's like I said, a thing for my mental health and not to look a certain way. I know we've talked about before, some days if I'm not feeling like doing a full leg day and I just decide, hey, I want to do 45 minutes on the bike and that's all I do, it's better than nothing. And I think to go on another question you asked earlier about how starting at the gym, how you can build confidence. I think being nice to other people, you know, smiling at other girls, they may smile back at you. That will make you feel better in turn because you're making someone else feel better about themselves. Have you had an experience in the gym where it's been like diminishing your confidence almost? Where it is one of those times where it's like, maybe I don't want to do this anymore? I will say that just a problem that a lot of people will run into is you might drop the weight. You might hit your head on something and, you know, that's a regular occurrence. A lot of people do that and no one's judging you for it. You might get a little laugh out of someone, but no one's judging you for it. Yeah. No, I mean, we've all been there. And that's one thing about when you're working out in a home gym. It's not near as embarrassing because you're usually by yourself or with somebody that's really close to you. But yeah, I mean, especially with some people who handle social anxiety like yourself, it's kind of difficult when you do bump your head and then all of a sudden you kind of think that everybody's looking at you. And I can't say I haven't been there myself. I've definitely hit my head on a bar or dropped the weight on my foot or bar slips out of my hand. That one's always embarrassing. Everyone does it. Everyone does it, yes. And I think that's a big thing. I think there's a lot of people who are intimidated. I think that's kind of the reason Planet Fitness has gained as much traction is because they're trying to put off that area where you might be intimidated. When you see just a man or even a female that is in the gym that has clearly been doing it for a while and is large or very, very muscular, does that make you feel inferior or self-conscious in any way? No. It doesn't, honestly, because I think a lot of the times, I mean, everyone has their own personal opinion on people who go to the gym like that, but I just see people like that in a different light. Usually, if you're doing anything extreme, whether that's drug use, going to the gym all the time, there's something inside of you that's causing you to do that, and they're probably a little insecure in themselves. Yes. Yes, and I think that's a big issue that I've run into, especially among men in the gym is the body dysmorphia that's created. I know that's a big thing talked about by men often, especially with the way models are seen and Instagram models and filters and all that thing. I think that's been an uptick for men lately because of how much putting content out in the gym has been and the secrecy of drug use and the secrecy of some sort of help. There's a lot of guys, and they're looking at their bodies and just can't believe that they don't look like that or they've been in the gym for a while, so they turn to something like testosterone or a steroid. Obviously, most women aren't looking to be huge, and I think there's some dangers there as well when it comes to, like I said, seeing some Instagram models or a fitness influencer that may not be following all the rules of being natural. So, what is your advice to a young girl who wants to get in the gym? Maybe she doesn't like necessarily how she feels, and she's like, okay, I think the gym might be for me, but she's a little bit afraid that it might alter the way she views herself or other people. I would say, honestly, if you can find a friend. If you don't like doing things like that alone, finding someone to go with and building that confidence while you're with someone else in case there are times that you have to go alone would be really helpful. Just don't worry about what people think about you. I mean, that's easier said than done, but at the end of the day, the people in there are probably thinking about themselves more than they're thinking about you, and I know that's something that a lot of people's parents tell them, and it really is true. Yeah, I mean, you and I have been to the gym plenty of times together, and not a single time were we really worried about what anybody else was doing. So, that's spot on. And another thing that you and I talk about a lot is why are you there, and I think that's something that we've had to work on a lot together because you've talked about pushing yourself sometimes a little harder than you should, and I've been there, especially after turning my ACL, I've been there trying to get back as quickly as I can and do some things that maybe I needed to sit down for a minute, and I think that's a huge part of it is at some point, it's just like, why are you here? Like, are you here to be the greatest influencer of all time? And most of the time, it's probably no. Most of the time, you are there for, like you said, your mental health or to feel healthy or maybe you want to lose a little bit of weight, and there's ways to go about doing that, and that's something that's going to take time. Another issue you talked about is handling some men that aren't necessarily always going to be the most polite. I know we've had our own issues with that. What is your advice to a young girl going into the gym and what it's like? Well, define young girl. High school, a girl who might be able to go by herself. Okay. So, for me, it was very difficult to kind of, as Dane said, I have very bad social anxiety, and in high school, you know, boys, even some young men can be very rude whenever you reject them, and I had a guy personally that I tried to be his friend, just tried to talk to him, and I'm going through my own personal things right now, and one day, I just tried saying, hey, I'm good, I have to go have a good day, and he followed me out to my car, and it was very awkward, and the next day, he followed me out to my car again, and I told him, I said, this is not okay. You just have to set boundaries with people because it's going to hurt you more in the long run to try and make someone else happy when you should be putting yourself first and putting your safety first as well. Yeah, and I mean, that's, you're at the gym because you're here to put yourself first, you know, hopefully. Hopefully, that's what's encouraging you to go, and yeah, that's something that was really difficult, and like you said, it can be difficult because, I mean, men can, like I said, not be the most polite sometimes and the nicest way of saying it. And just like they feel that it is their right to talk to you and that you're supposed to be talking to them, it's your right to not have to talk to them, and you don't have to talk to them, and you can tell them that. 100%. 100%. And that is absolutely terrifying, I bet. Absolutely terrifying sometimes to just stand up for yourself, especially in a setting like that. But like you said, it's good to set boundaries, and it's good, it's going to help you a lot in the long run, and especially just growing up. There's going to be times in life where you have to set boundaries with other people, whether a creepy guy at the gym or maybe a boss you don't like. And I think that's really important to help instill in the young ladies that are going to the gym because I, myself, have seen some dudes do some pretty shady things that does not make you very comfortable. I think that's all that we really had planned for today's podcast. Do you have anything that you'd like to add? I just want to finish up what I said earlier where, you know, you may be anxious in the gym, and someone you're looking at may be in the same position as you. You never know because you don't know the people in there. Maybe the person you're looking at has been in there for five years, maybe they've been in there for 10, maybe it's their first day. So just being kind to anyone that you see, just giving them a smile and letting them know that you're a kind person and that you don't want them to feel uncomfortable in the environment may go a long way. And like I said before, it's why are you there, you know? Don't stress yourself too much about trying to meet a certain goal that first day, you know. It takes it little by little, and just keep going. Emma, thank you so much for joining us today. Your words are just as valuable as ever. Thank you. And we will talk to you all here in a little bit.