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The podcast episode is about Valentine's Day and love. The host's guest, Scott, shares his opinion on Valentine's Day and his experiences with love. They discuss being a hopeless romantic and the disappointments that can come with it. They also talk about the challenges of relationships, self-sabotage, and the impact of technology on dating. They touch on the topic of sending explicit photos and the importance of consent. The conversation ends with a nostalgic reflection on the use of beepers in the past. Good evening, everybody. Welcome to Societal Deconstruction Podcast, SDP. We're on episode number 17, male plus female equals human. Happy Valentine's Day to you all out there. To all you romantic people still out there, if there are any of you left, what do you think? My guest today is Scott. Scott or Scotty? Scott. Scott. My guest today is Scott. He's a friend of mine and a former co-worker at Revival. And welcome, Scott. Well, thank you for having me. I'm excited about this podcast. Absolutely. Pleasure to have you here. Pleasure to be here. At SDP. Societal Deconstruction Podcast. Boom. Now, are you still a romantic person? Do you believe in Valentine's Day? I actually do not like Valentine's Day. I've just not ever really liked it. I want to think I'm a hopeless romantic, but it's never been there and kind of, so no. You've what? It's never been there? Your hopeless romantic-ness has never panned out very well? Or it doesn't vibe with Valentine's Day? I mean, my hopeless romantic-ness doesn't work well. Like, it's never panned out. It's never done anything. So why not just give up on it? Oh, that's so sad. Well, I think I used to be a hopeless romantic, too, and I'm a very cynical bitch at this point in my life. I think I've given up on it completely. I now think that love is a chemical imbalance in your brain. Yeah, it could very well be because you think you're in love and you're not. Or just, you know, I've never had the love at first sight kind of deal. You think that, you know, she's beautiful, she's great, but you go over and talk to her and you're like, no. I don't know if I've had love at first sight, but love at first, like, week. Like, when you start seeing somebody and you can't, you have to be together every single second for the first, like, month. You can't even breathe, like, if you're not with them. Have you had that? I mean, I did back in the day, like, high school. Like when you were younger. Yeah, way younger. And it's like, yeah, but then it never reciprocates sometimes. And then you've done it so many times, it just gets old. Yeah. You just kind of go with the flow. They don't want to talk to you, they don't want to call, they don't want to do anything. And you give too much of yourself and then you're disappointed and hurt. Yeah, and then you're just like, why bother? Why did I go through that? Yeah, that's sad. That's sad. I had some, I had mine more reciprocated, but it's, well, I think it's a chemical imbalance. It's because when you're in that very first crazy love, it's like, you literally step in front of a boss to see that person. Yeah, like you would do anything for them. Anything. And then things happen or, you know, just life moves on or whatever. And then when you don't see it that way, you're like, open up, you're like, how did I ever see that enough person to do that for? And then I went all this, through all this, and they're just, you know, and then... And you didn't pay attention to any of the red flags. Yeah, and you think you're in love and do everything they think they are. And then, say, something happens, you break up. And the next week they're with another someone, like another one. And you're like, how? Like, I don't want to be with anyone. You know, because I'm broke up over this. But they're not. I've never been that way. Like, to put everything into it, to leave for someone else or something else, or then, like, it doesn't work out and broken up. Like, I don't look for anything else. Like, I kind of stay broken up. So you've got to kind of focus on yourself. See, I always went from relationship to relationship. Yeah, I've never been a, like, a bouncer. I was a bouncer. I've been in one long relationship my whole life. I mean, I think I was single for a little bit in my early 20s. And then, like, one year, a couple years ago. It's crazy. But what's your longest relationship? Six, seven years. That's long, though. That's long enough. You get the seven-year itch. Yeah. I mean, it was long. We knew everything about each other. It just kind of didn't work out. You knew too much about each other. We were fighting over stupid stuff, and it was just dumb. Self-sabotage, too. And then you grow apart. It's kind of sad, but it just happens in life. Same thing. Like, you've been in a relationship, you know, two years or three years or something. You think it's great, and then just something happens. Like, you just see something, or they see something, and it just doesn't work. Yeah, it's weird. It's weird how it works. It's weird how you can be so all in and so happy together, and then one little thing will just derail it completely. I think people are self-saboteurs as well. Like, overthinking the situation or overthinking a call or text. Like, you know, I had the bartender life where, you know, when you work from 6 o'clock at night to 4 in the morning, you know, sometimes during the day you take naps. You sleep before you go to work, but then you're seeing somebody, and they call or text you, and you're not answering because you're sleeping. They lose their mind. And they lose their mind. They're crazy. And then you're just like, hey, I was taking a nap. And it's in the middle of the day on a Tuesday. I worked tonight at 6. I think before texting, relationships were easier to maintain. It was because, I mean, I remember when I first moved to Florida, driving to a 7-Eleven, paying $0.35 to call the girl. I was going, gee, are you home? Yeah, I'm home. She didn't answer. I didn't go crazy. I don't know. There's no way to track her. But now with GPS and phones. You put a tracker on her car, and you're not even considered insane. I would still consider that insane personally. I think it's pretty insane when you have to go to that point. And you have to go through their phone? Yeah. You have to go to their phone, or they're sleeping, and you face-recognize them to open it to look through what they're doing. Oh, that's creepy. People do that? Yeah. I've had it happen. Oh, my gosh. You know, someone comes into a bar I work, and they start talking and upset because he fell asleep and left his phone on, and his wife used it. But you're the dumbass for texting and doing all that. He's like, why didn't you act on it? I'm like, you're sending a girl dick pics or whatever it may be, and the wife does not like it. I mean, it's obvious. You can't do that. And it happens more and more now. It's too easy. I mean, I know I've got to ask somebody to send me a dick pic. I send them a picture of a dick pic. Like, man. And just for every male person out there, since we're doing male plus female equals human, for every male out there in this world who listens to this podcast, please never send an unfiltered dick pic. Please, please, please. For all the women out there, maybe some women like it, but any woman I've ever talked to says, nope, nope, nope. And I can't stand it. I think it's terrible. Even if you like the person, I don't like it. If I haven't seen it yet, I don't want to see it. I don't want to see it. They're not that attractive. I want to see it when I'm, like, hot and horny and ready to have it, you know? I don't want to just see it in the middle of the day when I'm eating. Right? Absolutely. Would you want unsolicited vag pics? Maybe. For all guys, please send me your boobs. I heard you're a little different than that. But, no, absolutely. Like, I've never been the one to be like, you're on Facebook, you're on Facebook, and you're like, hey, and then picture my dick. And, like, I don't understand, like, how that would work. And, like, I agree with you. Yeah, don't leave with your dick. I mean, yeah. I mean, and when you're in a relationship and you're there, and sometimes during the day a girl will send you, like, hey, I'm doing this or trying this on for you or something. Oh, that's great. Right, right. Like, you've already seen it, you're already good. I like to be surprised a little bit. I don't want to see it in broad daylight on your phone. Yeah, we don't wear lingerie. We don't put, you know, maybe we're at somewhere or we're trying on a new pair of boxers and you're in the dressing room and you send your girl a pic, but you're not, like, dick out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not trying to, you know, jack off in a fucking dresser. Or, like, when I first got together with my ex significant other, like, I had to go to we got together and I had to go to Mexico on a trip I already had booked. And we were, like, really missing each other. And I think I asked him for one and he sent me one. And that was hot. But that's different. Right, right. You asked him. Yeah, I definitely asked. I definitely asked. I think that's the first one I ever got. But also, if you're, like, with him and you've been with him and you've missed him and he just does it without you, that's fine, too. He'd probably be like, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean, nowadays it's technology. It's technology. That's a whole nother. Well, we did the podcast on the technology of, like, you don't know your neighbors anymore. Nobody knows their neighbors anymore unless they're on your phone. But when I moved here, it was 1999, and I had a beeper. I had a beeper. And I had to go where I worked. I'd get my little beep. I'd get so excited when I got a beep. Is that what they call it, a beep? A beep. It was the beepers. The beepers that vibrate, whatever it is. Oh, a vibe. Yeah. And then I'd go to the pay phone over on the wall, and if I had to scare up $0.25, it was $0.35. I don't remember. And I'd make a little phone call, and then, you know, I'd get a little beep later, and that would determine where I was going after work. It was exciting. Yeah. Because you had to call it. You had to know, like, answer machines at home. Like, when people called you, it was important. Like, you had to get that. And then you could write different words on your beeper upside down. Yeah. Like, hello. Yeah. Just whatever you needed. Or you dashed 911. Like, this is important. Yeah. Yeah. For real. Find a phone. So, one thing I was going to ask you. Well, I wanted to read something first. I'm sorry. I fucked that up. I will edit this out. We fucked that up, and I am editing that out. Maybe give us space so you can edit it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's good. I was going to read this, but it's not on here anymore. Societal Deconstruction Podcast is a podcast that thinks differently. FDP wants to help our listeners think differently. Eventually, the whole world will think differently. Eradicate the hate and shame and stigma against people who are different and want to live life outside the norm of society, people like me and you that have thought past the status quo and the norm. Live your precious life the most sovereign way you can. Don't do what you think you are supposed to do. If it doesn't feel right, then it isn't. Travel. See the world. Educate yourself about people, different cultures, different food, different places, et cetera. Embrace the differences in humanity. We are all creatures of planet Earth. We are all born alone. We all die alone. We are all born naked without the constructs of society. The constructs of society are indoctrinated in us very early on. Once you open your eyes and understand, you will live your life in a completely different, new way. Freeing your mind and discarding the chains of society is so liberating. Just a little background on SDP and how we think and feel. Right, Scott? You feel that way? I do feel that way. Absolutely. And once you don't care about what other people think and, you know, try to live like everybody else, it does for you. It frees up so much. I mean, I started, I mean, literally, I'm 44 now. It probably took me until I was 41 to really not care. It took me a while, too. And do your own thing. Yeah. You're the only one that matters. Yeah. I went through a lot of my life worrying about that shit. What people think. It was such a waste of time. I mean, as long as you know you're a good person, you do the right thing. Absolutely. Karma is going to answer me or answer you. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. And a lot of times when you think these people care, they don't give a flying fuck. They don't give a shit. They're not sitting there worrying about you and thinking about what you're doing. They're worrying about themselves, like you're worrying about yourself. Yeah. Your own self, your own energy, your own peace, your own everything. Absolutely. If you're not taking care of yourself, how can you expect to be in a position to take care of someone else? You have to save yourself before you can save others. Yeah. You've got to be content with yourself. I'm big about that. Yeah. You can't bring honesty and just bring them into your boat that's sinking already. And I don't think I started this journey until I was in my 40s, either. I mean, I raised my kids for 25 years, and you've got kids that's a little bit different, and you've got to, I don't know if you have to, I don't know if you have to, but maybe do it for your kids and stick by the societal norms so that they feel normal and you're not a bunch of freaks. But I honestly think now, my kids turned out great and everything, but I wish that I would have bought an RV or a bus and took them home schooled and took them around the country, took them around the world, had a completely different life than everybody else. That would have been awesome. Yeah. So then they get culturally infused with different ways how people live. Absolutely. They're going to learn way more doing that. Yeah. Way more. I mean, it's like, they should teach more classes, like, how can I learn about credit or balancing, you know, checking an account? They're like, fuck you, and square dance. You know what I mean? Dude, the fact that you bring up square dancing is crazy. They'd rather teach that than teaching real-life skills about credit, about billing, about trying to save money. When they did square dancing when I was in school, I would have left. They would have let me leave school. I would have left school and probably never came back. When they did the square dancing, I thought that was the dumbest thing. I hated it so much. I remember almost crying to my teacher, please don't make me do this, please don't make me do this. I hate this. I hate this. But the way school is a societal construct and they indoctrinate you, you have to do it or your peers will ostracize you and they make you be somebody you're not in school with peer pressure. I remember being in school thinking, this is so fucking stupid. I can't believe these kids are going along with this. And then I would eventually go along with it or they'd all make fun of me or something. It's like, you can't be yourself. They don't want you to be yourself. You're indoctrinated so young in preschool. And that's, I think, back in the day they did it and it was so, you know, pre-media, social media day that they could and they did that. But now it's such social media and people can just go online and say something about it and then get a bunch of followers that feel the same way. That's what the cancel culture happened, all that. So now they can do all that and the teachers can't be that way to build you one way to, this is the way you do it. You go to college, you get married, you have kids. So I think we have a lot less of the societal constructs of an early indoctrination that we did before. Yeah, because it's basically, you can more have a freedom to express yourself. See, when I was a kid, we didn't have any of that. And now it's just... And you either, right? Yeah, no, not at all. It was, you did this, you go to this school, you go to this, you play this sport. Because I did it. I don't like it. It doesn't matter. Yeah, suck it up. Yeah. Suck it up. Pull it off your bootstrap. But now I feel that that helped out with building more character. Like, just being stronger now. But then now, you got all these, you know... That makes your, like, it gives you a stronger constitution. Like, you know you can get through anything, even the shit that you hate. But it also stops you from being who you are. And if you could have been who you are, who knows what you would have turned out to be. Like, my toys back then. Exactly. And letting them do it. Like, I'd be out there in a boat, taking samples of shark fin stuff. Or just, I'd be a marine biologist. I would have. And that's what I wanted to do. When people asked me when I was a kid what I wanted to do, that's the first thing I ever said. Then I got so pulled away from it, well, they don't make any money. Or, you know, that's not realistic. Or, you know, there's no college around here you can go to for that. Or, you know, near Buffalo. 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