EPISODE 5 SEASON 2

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what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, 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what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, what up, basically saying that she's old enough now to make decisions on her own and she can be in control of her life. So that's why we want to talk about control today because sometimes I think that being in control of our lives takes away the essence of God giving us or putting us on the path of righteousness for his namesake and him ordering our steps. And so let's talk about that word. It's going to get uncomfortable because there have been times where both of us, Shelby, both of us have wanted control. You mean every day? Oh no. Oh no. But we definitely going to speak about it today. And if it hits home with you man, just know that we'll have a conclusion to this because at the end of the day God is, he's Alpha, he's Omega. He has full say so. Yes he is. Yes he is. So let's jump into it. Of course I got to start off with a question. Shelby. Nate. Question. Okay. Have you ever wanted full control in a relationship? You know she's cussing me out and I hate it. No, no, no, no. I'm saying how much I love you in my head. I would have to say that I probably did not start out a relationship wanting control but when I saw that someone wasn't leading then yes I was going to take control because someone had to. Gotcha. But also like with your children, yeah there's a certain amount that you want to control for sure. Especially when they're little, yeah. Yeah we're parents, we have to because we're accountable and we're responsible for that. Yeah but I didn't know what kind of relationship you're talking about. All of those, all of those. Glad you said it. From a parenting standpoint I think that I've seen, and this is just me, I've seen that parents in the latter day has given control to the children and not stepped up to... Do their part. Yes. And this is just what I've seen. If you want to judge me or text me... No I would agree with that. Feel free but I've seen that a lot dealing with children, teenagers and I've saw some crazy things and I think that in that perspective from a parent we do have a level of control because it's responsibility. We're accountable for those children so we have to be in control. Should be, yeah. Because if something happened to them... It's on us. It's on us, right. So I get that part. Yes we do have to take control of that. Relationship, you mentioned that you felt like you had to step up because there was no leadership. Who controls, and this is a big debate, has been a debate for a long time. Who controls the house? I thought women controlled the house. He's making a face. Well if you're talking biblically the man is supposed to be the head of the family and the household. I agree. So from a biblical perspective that's where the control is supposed to come from. Well that's where the authority is supposed to come from. But if you're talking in a worldly sense I think that we place the onus on the woman. Let me question that. So biblically you're saying that a man is to control the house? Because there was two things that you said right there. I know I said control and then authority. Right. I definitely agree with authority. Yeah. The control is a slip. That was not, I should not have said that. Okay. Got it. Yeah. I was trying to correct myself by saying authority. Yes. A perfect, perfect word. Because sometimes men when they take control over that thing and they don't know what to do. They mess it all up. Absolutely. Yes. Absolutely. I made that mistake once. I thought I had to be in control of my household. I was saying this and it's going to be this way and it's going to be that way. I'm not that type of guy. But I was saying certain things like, hey, I want control in my household. I messed up. And I'm going to tell you how I messed up because I didn't have the intelligence upon what went on day to day. Right. You weren't there to experience it all the time. Had no clue. Right. There were certain times for dinner. There were certain times for homework. There were certain times for... Yeah, and there's a flow that has to happen. Yes. Daily. Man, I'm a witness to saying, fellas, if you don't know... Yeah, don't be sticking your foot in that pool. That part. So I realize... Don't be dipping your toes. I realize in that moment that she has control over the house, but authority is given by God to me being the head of the household. But definitely controlling the house. I get it. Now, what happens when that control gets taken out of context? Just say yourself. Have you ever found yourself taking control to the head? You mean taking over the whole thing and running the show? Like, it's my way or the highway. Yeah. Really? I didn't do it in that manner. I wasn't doing it because I wanted to, or it was my way or the highway. It was just because someone had to do it. Someone had to do it. Yeah. You have to have a leader. Every PAC has to have a leader. I agree. I agree. That's why this is touchy, because I saw a lot of... Wishy-washy? Well, no. I saw a lot of people that are in PACs, and there was too many leaders. Oh, yeah. Too many chiefs and none of Indians? Yeah. All these leaders are running together, and the control was taken out of context in every aspect because everybody is in charge. Yeah. That's chaos to me. That's confusion. It is. Absolutely. I didn't write the book. Because there's no one to hold the responsibility when something goes wrong. I think that's where we get the meat of this podcast today. Why is that? Why do everyone have to be in control, or basically have it their way? Sometimes it's just not going to be your way. No, life is not cushy. It's not fair. It's not... There's a lot of things to life that's not on the happy scale. Something you said even last week on the podcast, and it's a touchy, touchy statement, but it's so true. We can have a healthy disagreement and not hate one another. What has happened nowadays is everybody has to be the leader, and it's either their views or their entitlement or their way, and if you don't agree with it, then you're the enemy. Yeah. That's a level of control. Absolutely. We now have to touch that, because who's in control? Let me talk about, at least using myself, because it's a lot of subjects that we can mention on control. I have a company, and being that I started the company, I have the responsibility of anything that falls on that company, whether it's good or bad, because it's the ownership of the company that whatever happens... You have to take responsibility for everything that happens under that namesake. That part. Thank you. I know, because I do the same thing. I don't have a complex or I feel like, well, I'm in control of all of this because it's me and mine and blah, blah, blah. I do understand that I now have to multitask and also put people in place that have certain gifts and certain talents to make this thing come together and do what we are supposed to do. At the ministry that we serve at, me and you both serve at, I'm now starting to teach harmonies in the choir standpoint. What harmony does is it allows one person to sing one part in a different way. It allows one person to sing one part in a different way. It allows one person to sing one part in a different way. It allows one person to sing one part in a different aspect and then another person to sing one part and it don't sound like this person and then this person don't sound like this person, but it brings together a beautiful melody. Control says, everybody do it my way or else. I think that's so wrong on so many levels because now we put God out to picture too. 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