Prank Calling my Mother

Warren pranks his own mother by pretending to be from the cable company and trying to convince her to upgrade her package. His mother refuses and gets frustrated with the offer. Eventually, Warren reveals himself and they both have a good laugh. Warren suggests installing fiber optic cable as a Mother's Day gift. It's the Morning Show with Warren. Hello and good morning to you. It is time for your weekly prank phone call, of course. And this week I looked high and low for somebody to prank phone call, and I couldn't find anybody. So a little bit tense trying to think about what to do with this. And then it dawned on me. So the Holy Bible says, Honor thy mother and thy father. And what better way to honor thy mother than to prank call my own mother, pretending to be from the cable company. And that's exactly what we're going to do right now. There's nothing my mom loves more than to argue with the cable company over her bill. Today, my name is Stan, and I'm going to make my mom believe her bill is wrong and that we're going to come over and install fiber optic cable. We're going to apply a voice filter to the phone and give her a call and see what happens. Hello? Hello, this is Stan calling for Gail. I'm calling from... Okay, what can I help you with? Hi, Gail. So I noticed that you had sent in a complaint last month about your service, and I want to get back to you about that because we care so very much about our customers' needs. Yeah, that is something I'm concerned about because I feel like you guys are raising my prices and I'm losing channels, and I'm not very happy about it. Yeah, so your bill went up because we automatically enrolled you in the total package, which means that you're going to get phone and internet from us. All we have to do is come by your house and install it. Yeah, no. You don't automatically enroll me in anything. I mean, that's not right, and you're not coming to my house. I don't want any of that. It's actually really easy, though. All we have to do is come by with some phones, and we can just drill into the wall and put some wires in. It's very, very simple. It's like two hours of time. Oh, yeah. That sounds fantastic, Stan. No. No, that's not happening. I just want to keep my basic package that I have. I mean, if we have to talk about a price adjustment because I'm getting less for my money, that's one thing, but I don't want this bundling and all that stuff. I just don't want to start doing that with you guys, so the answer's no. You see, Gail, so here's the thing. Your package isn't going to change no matter what because our cable package right now is actually going to go down unless you actually take the Internet and the phone offer because we can't offer all the same channels, so instead of what you get right now, you're still going to get a very good lineup of channels. You're just going to get the government access channels. You're going to get some of the foreign language channels and stuff like that, which I think you'd probably like. I don't speak any foreign languages, Stan. I don't need a foreign language channel. Well, what if I told you you could also get C-SPAN, so you could watch all the government proceedings happening right now? Would you like to watch that? I really would not like to watch that at all, so this is not very appealing to me. Okay. Well, I'd love to help you out by keeping your current lineup, but to keep your lineup, we have to come in your house and install some equipment. No, you don't. That's ridiculous. It all comes through the cable box. It's very simple. We just have to come in and install one fiber optic cable. It's going to take about eight hours to do it. I'll be there any time between 6 a.m. and 6 p.m. to install it. You just have to be at your house, and I'll be there? Okay. Install it? I think maybe I need to speak to your supervisor. Actually- I don't think so. I am the supervisor, so unfortunately, there's no one above me that you can talk to, but- Oh, goodness. Well, I just ... Yeah, this does not sound right to me at all. I just can't believe that I have to have all this stuff done just to get my stupid cable TV. Can I keep a basic plan? I don't need a lot of the fancy stuff on it. I just would prefer it that way. Okay, so- I don't need it. Once again, we can downgrade you to the basic plan. That's going to be your local channels, PBS, all those things, the government access channels, of course. We've got one channel in- Oh, you're taking away everything good. Well, you see, there's some really good stuff that you don't know about, so I'm going to tell you about all the good stuff that you're going to get. You're going to get the PBS channels. You're going to get the government access channels, and you're also going to get foreign language channels so you can learn how to speak some various languages, like you can learn how to speak Russian. We can teach you how to speak French as well, so all sorts of great channels. In one million years, Stan, I would never learn how to speak Russian, so I don't think that's going to be helpful to me, and really, honestly, if this is what it's going to be, I will think about just dropping and just getting an antenna. Okay, well just so you know- I can get lousy channels with that, not paying anything. Just so you know, you can't actually do that because we are the only service provider at your location. I looked this up online, so you kind of have to go with us. We're also buying out the phone companies, so you will be switching over to our phone service at a later date. That means I will have to come by and install some cables in your house. That one's very, very simple, though. It's only about a four-hour job. Is there any time between 8 a.m. and 8 p.m.? I find it impossible that you could be doing this to everybody. How is this possible? No, I don't-you know what? I'll just read. How about that? I don't need TV. Well, you see, that's the good news because with this package that we can offer you with the local channels and the foreign language channels, we also offer the reading channel, which has a nice book talk program, which I think you might find very satisfying. Yeah, that would be super. Yeah, I don't-are you sure there's no one else I can talk to? You can talk to my manager. Her name is Ellen. She's not here right now, though. She's actually installing some fiber optic cable at somebody's house. She's been there for about seven hours. That's what we're going to be doing at your house. We just need to coordinate what day it's going to be. No, I think I do need to speak to someone else. I mean, no offense. I mean, I know you're doing your job, that you don't make the rules, but this is cuckoo to me, so I think I need to speak to someone else. Okay, well, let me put it to you this way, Gail. So we did some research on your bill. I can offer you that basic package that you want right now, and it can be a very, very good price. I think you want to hear this. I can offer it to you right this very second at the rate of $110 per month. For just government channels and foreign language channels? Are there any sports? No, that's part of the premium package. That's going to be an extra $50 on top of that, and we have to install the fiber optic cable to do it. Well, you guys are just the worst, I swear. This is ridiculous. Well, I'm going to look into something else. I'll be looking into, like, antenna, dish, anything, but I can't see me going forward with any of this. This doesn't make sense. But if you want to have your supervisor contact me for information, I'll talk to someone else. But I think that, yeah, this is going to happen. Could I pencil you in for next week sometime around the 25th? No, you cannot. We could come by. We could come by at, like, 6 a.m. and get it done early. No. You know what? You can take that pencil. Well, I won't say it. No, do not pencil me in. Okay, okay. Well, what if we were to come by, like, anytime around noon, like, tomorrow for lunch? No, won't let you in. Sorry. What if I come by tomorrow at noon for lunch because this is your son calling you? Oh. No, it's not. You little twerp. Do you want me to come by and install a fiber optic cable? I can install it and, like, see. Well, come by and have some pasta. Did you have fun? Yes, I did. Oh, my God. Now I've got to go take my blood pressure medication. You know, Mother's Day is just around the corner. And what better way to celebrate than have your one and only son come over and install fiber optic cable inside your house? The perfect gift, if I do say so myself.