Nothing to say, yet
Transcription
Coach Toni welcomes listeners to the first episode of her podcast, She's Discipled, LLC, where she provides biblical solutions to help break the pact. The pact refers to overcoming the effects of childhood sexual abuse, as well as codependency in toxic relationships. She discusses the difficulty of saying no, which stems from the violation of boundaries in childhood abuse. This fear of saying no leads to putting others' needs before one's own. Coach Toni encourages listeners to uncover their own desires and purpose and offers biblical tips on reclaiming their ability to say no. She also introduces herself as a trauma-informed coach and shares her personal journey of breaking the pact. Listeners can access show notes and a free cheat sheet on reclaiming their no on her website. Hey friends, it's Coach Toni, I'm so honored that you joined me today. Welcome to episode one of She's Discipled, LLC, the podcast where we provide biblical solutions to help you break the pact. What is the pact? It is pushing past adult residual effects of childhood sexual abuse, acknowledging and overcoming sexual sin, cutting out occult, secret society, witchcraft, new age and cult-like influences, combating codependency by grabbing a hold to our God-loved recovery, taking back our power from psychologically and emotionally toxic relationships. Here we take you through discipleship. We help you to learn God's word, the truth, and encourage you to walk in Christ's freedom and abundance for you. So welcome today, I'm so glad you joined me. Today, y'all, is the juicy topic, reclaiming your no and understanding your silent yes. This topic, you guys, really falls in two areas of our breaking the pact. It falls in the area of pushing past residual effects of childhood sexual abuse and it also falls heavily into the area of combating codependency. Friends, these elements really go together. Why? Because the truth is, our firm nose were really violated and taken away from us with childhood sexual abuse, which really led us into adulthood where we finally have prayerfully come to recognize that we were afraid to say no and afraid to take authority in sometimes really troubling relationships. So today, I want you to tune in because some good stuff is coming. I often wondered where my hesitancy with using the word no came from and I really didn't even understand that I had a hard time saying no until a certain point. Honestly, for the longest time, I never realized that using the word came with really a great reluctance. I realized that maybe some of it really kind of stemmed from culture, even family systems, and even heavily rooted in religion. Saying no when someone needs you is not being Christian-like in some communities or even lady-like or even team-like in some workplace environments. But frankly, it's easy to say no to blatantly disrespectful speech or conduct. But the no that I'm talking about often comes with choosing you last and putting everyone else's needs first. This takes away your voice, it takes away the truth, and this no says yes to everything and everyone else but you. The root of this, I believe, came from my inability to say no from being sexually abused, of course, in childhood. It caused me to really walk on eggshells attempting to please so that I could avoid harm. Of course, I didn't see this. But this eggshell effect seeped over into adulthood. I realized that I avoided saying no in so many instances until I realized that saying no often sent people into an angry tailspin. They were used to me putting myself second. They were comfortable with me supporting their purposes and their agendas and relinquishing my own. I didn't realize that I needed to uncover, recover, and discover my yes and my own purposes, my own desires, and the purpose that God had for me. I needed to find my no and I needed to find the yes to me and the yes to God. This inability to say no revealed that I had really an unhealthy fear of man. Sometimes this inability to say no came in the way of a quiet yes. I know it sounds weird, a quiet yes. I'm a natural helper, a healer, a supporter, and a helpmeet, naturally. It comes naturally to me. I just naturally jump in. But it was time for me to jump out and look at why or even why my silent yes came so easily and why no came with such reluctance and great difficulty. I don't know, guys. It's a topic to be discussed and really those who come from childhood sexual abuse would really know what I'm talking about because I think it's so ingrained in you. It's rooted in you and you don't even see it. You just don't see it. Today, that's what we're talking about, y'all. Tune in today. You're going to gain three key things, I'll say. You're going to gain some insight as to why you've had a hard time really reclaiming your no. Number two, we're going to look at some Biblical scriptures that show what a silent yes might look like. Number three, we're going to talk about how our inability to say no really is rooted in that fear of man. None of us really like to say we're afraid, especially women, we're like, yeah, I'm tough. I'm not afraid of anything. But the truth is our inability to say no really does reveal a fear of man. And then we're going to talk about what we can do to begin reclaiming our no. Okay, so let me give you this disclaimer right now, y'all. I am not a medical professional, a licensed therapist, a psychologist, or counselor. I am a disciple, as I hope you are too because that's part of what this broadcast is all about. I am a mentor and a trauma-informed coach. But the information that we present here is Biblical, y'all, it is for your education and information only. She's Disciple LLC, takes no responsibility for your life or your decisions. Prayerfully, you are rooted in God. But if you do need medical attention, please seek the help that you need. All right, so we're going to kind of continue in this. I hope that this has got your mind thinking about where you may have given a silent yes. I really like to invite you to join me in my weekly newsletter, you guys, where you can receive weekly tips like this, like the one I'm giving today, to help you break the pact. Breaking the pact is tough. You know, all of these things are really tough to break, but with God, nothing is impossible. So I would love for you to join me in my weekly newsletter where you will get some really great Biblical tips on how to break the pact. But for today, if you go on over to www.she'sdisciple.com backslash show dash note, you will get something special, my friends. Today, you will be able to grab and claim a free cheat sheet that is about reclaiming your no. And it'll give you Biblical tips on reestablishing your boundaries of firmly using your no. Also, guys, today you're going to get a special freebie with the show notes from today. So everything that we've talked about today that's pertinent, or at least that I thought was pertinent, will be included in those show notes. So go ahead and jump on over to that URL and grab your freebies today. So this is a perfect time to introduce myself, as this is the first episode. My name is Coach Toni. You're like, who is this chick? My name is Coach Toni, and I am the owner and I'm the founder of She's Disciple LLC. I am a certified trauma-informed coach. I am life coach trained. And I'm codependent recovery trained. But most important, you guys, I am a disciple, okay? I would say that's the most important. I am a disciple, constantly learning in the Word, trying to see what the Lord has to say about these topics. I am a former elementary school teacher. I taught for 29 years and am happily, well, not quite yet, but soon to be retired. And right now I'm doing the Lord's work. So I have to say I have a smile on the inside, never anticipated to be in this space, but you know what? I have to say thank you, Lord. And it was good that I was afflicted because I'm in a space where I am representing Him. So y'all, I'm His ambassador today. I began this journey. Let me talk a little bit about my journey so you kind of know who you're dealing with and where I'm coming from. I began this journey with my own need to break the pact. This is not just about others breaking the pact. You know, I am the first partaker of breaking the pact. The Lord began awakening me, reminding me of dreams that He had given me and calling me to come back to Him. The sad part, y'all, is I thought I was on His team, really, but I was not. I was awakened to the fact that I was just the Lord, Lord, and if y'all know the Scripture, you know what I'm talking about. And I was in secret sexual sin, but still claiming to be one of God's own. And He would really have said to me, sorry, Tony, I know you call on me, I know you say my name, I know you worship me, I know you're on the praise team, I know you do all that. But check this, I never knew you. I was devastated. I, I guess for all practical purposes, I might have been a Pharisee, y'all. My outside cup was clean, but the inside was filthy. And so in this awakening, the Lord revealed that I was literally surrounded by emotionally, psychologically and abusive relationships that were extremely close to me. And so not only did I realize I was in sexual sin, I was awakened to the fact that I was surrounded by some problematic relationships that I had really been connected to my whole life. I was raised in church, y'all. I'm a church kid. I'm a church kid, okay. All my friends, even I would say professional acquaintances, maybe, at least that's what they said, you know, and family were Christian. And I put my hashtag fingers up, you know, relationship connections that I thought were coincidental were not. These people were deeply networked and I was the outsider. I was betrayed. Some of these people that were so close to me, the betrayal was so deep. I was betrayed. Sexual secrets were revealed. Of course, I was a single woman living for many years by myself, divorced. So how could sexual secrets have been revealed? Well, I'm going to let you catch that one in the spirit, but I was betrayed. I was, I was being shunned. I realized that people knew some secrets about me and I was being excluded, literally almost excommunicated, if that makes sense, discarded. I was being stopped, y'all. My technology compromised, phones, computers, like David in the Bible, my steps were being tracked. Coercive abuse was involved. My name was being defamed and slandered and all my relationships. I was being financially blocked in multiple areas and stolen from. I was being gaveled, triangulated, gang-stalked and manipulated and none of it, none of it could be proven. The bruises were hidden and it was so organized, y'all. This was not their first rodeo. It was organized. I'm talking military style organization and I could hold no one accountable because that's how tight the network was, y'all. But I realized that that is exactly what it was designed to be. It was designed for me to be the crazy one. They made sure that no place was safe. My home wasn't safe, my car wasn't safe, my job wasn't safe, my family wasn't safe. People that I had connected to in years past, none of them were safe. It was crazy. If I could be honest, I felt like I was in the Matrix, y'all. I was being surveilled by my own tribe. It was deep. I realized I was a tool. I realized I was just an object. I was used for their purposes. I was a family sacrifice. I was a friend sacrifice. Guess what, y'all? I was a community sacrifice. The Lord revealed that I had been sold in the spirit. The Lord revealed to me the lies. He showed me the concoctions, the deceptions. He revealed to me that lots were being cast on my behalf and I saw the betrayal at deep spiritual roots. Witchcraft was prevalent. Dead skin birds on my property. Y'all, I'm trying to talk about stuff that you know you probably ain't hearing in your church and if you are, God bless you. Maybe you are in a place that is really revealing truth. You even have to be careful with that because some of it is so rooted in witchcraft. Y'all, I was seeing voodoo dolls, items missing from my home, sexual harassment. It was cray. But the authorities would not help. I want you to catch that one in the spirit. I was being intentionally isolated and sabotaged from all angles, work, friends, and family. I had never seen anything like it. Y'all, I'm 56 right now. This has been happening probably over, I don't know, three, four years, maybe even longer. I don't know. When you're asleep, because really that's what it was. I was asleep. It could have been happening for all of my life, but I was asleep. All angles, the stuff was happening, Lord. There seemed to be a push to make me really look like I was going crazy. I was being referred to see someone. My family was like, go see the ... I'm like, what is this about? Why y'all got to be trying to make me crazy? I'm not crazy, nor am I going to play crazy. It was clear that they wanted me to be the problem. For a minute, I began to even just question my own sanity, but the Lord kept speaking to me. It seemed as though someone wanted to control my resources, y'all. I have been working as an elementary school teacher for many years. Come on now, paying into retirement, doing all this. I wasn't broke as a joke. I owned a home. I own my own car, but someone wanted to control my resources. I wasn't about to play crazy, but where do I go for help? The church ain't talking about this. Let's just keep it real for most places, I'll say. If I go to a therapist, man, are they going to deem me as crazy, but I knew this was spiritual, y'all. This is in the Bible. Sorcery is discussed in the Bible, but we ain't talking about it in church? I don't know. I just, I didn't have anywhere to go. I wasn't even understanding fully that I was immersed in the occult. Oh, guys, you know, I was fighting Legion and I didn't even know it. It was spiritual wickedness in high places. I didn't know I was in church all my life, y'all. I did not know how to fight this. I did not know, trust and believe, I was rooted and reared in the church. I could name some scriptures, y'all. Ephesians 6 wasn't cutting it, let me just say. How do I deal with these troublesome relationships that I've had for many, over 50 years, some all my life? I was overwhelmed. I didn't know where to go. I didn't know where to begin. I wanted to talk to someone who had dealt with what I was dealing with, and I couldn't find anyone. Who can I get counsel from? Who has been through this? What is this that I'm entangled in? I did find resources, but they were scattered, scattered throughout the internet, not in one place. And the Lord finally led me away. He led me away from my state, literally. Again, y'all, I've been on my job for a very long time, retirement, the whole nine. But he said, get up, get out now and move quickly and drive. Y'all, I didn't know where I was going. I guess you could say I was homeless because I packed a suitcase. I knew that I was not going back, but I couldn't tell those folks that I wasn't coming back because I was being abused in such crazy ways. I was being abused in such crazy ways. I was being abused in such crazy ways. I was being abused in such crazy ways. I was being abused in such crazy ways. I was being abused in such crazy ways. I was being abused in such crazy ways. 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I was being abused in such crazy ways. I was being abused in such crazy ways. I was being abused in such crazy ways. I was being abused in such crazy ways. I was being abused in such crazy ways. I was being abused in such crazy ways. I was being abused in such crazy ways. I was being abused in such crazy ways. I was being abused in such crazy ways. I was being abused in such crazy ways. I was being abused in such crazy ways. I was being abused in such crazy ways. I was being abused in such crazy ways. I was being abused in such crazy ways. I was being abused in such crazy ways. I was being abused in such crazy ways. I was being abused in such crazy ways. I would invite you to go ahead and download those show notes that I shared with you earlier, you guys, where you'll get weekly break the pack insights and weekly tips to help you get through elements of the pack. I know you guys that if you're trying to break the pack, you're serious about it. You're serious about it. Go on over again. Let me repeat it. www.shesdecipheal.com forward slash show notes, show hyphen notes. Let me repeat it again. www.shesdecipheal.com forward slash show hyphen notes. All right, guys. I'm so glad you came here and shared a little time with me. I'm so glad you came here and shared a little time with me. I'm so glad you came here and shared a little time with me. I'm so glad you came here and shared a little time with me. I'm so glad you came here and shared a little time with me. I'm so glad you came here and shared a little time with me. I'm so glad you came here and shared a little time with me. I'm hoping that I will talk to you more and more as we break out with more episodes that have to do with breaking the pack. We have a lot of things coming at She's Disciples. We are soon to be launching a premier discipleship course where we are creating a community for people who are breaking the pack, where it's been hard to find these kinds of things in spiritual communities, where people are really trying to biblically break the pack. So soon we are going to launch a discipleship, it's a year program for jumping in and breaking the pack. God bless you guys and remember that freedom and abundance are your birthright. Take your freedom and reclaim your no. God bless.
