self awareness Motivator

Self-awareness and motivation are important for personal growth. The speaker shares an example of someone, referred to as Bob, who is skilled but lacks self-regulation and awareness. The speaker confronts Bob about his behavior and encourages him to reflect on how it may affect his goal of becoming a leader. The next day, Bob realizes the extent of his disruptive behavior and apologizes to his colleagues. This leads to a positive change in perception and improved relationships. Being self-aware helps us better understand and manage our actions and intentions. Self-awareness and motivator, or motivation, is a very critical integration of two powerful concepts. And probably a really rough, high-level analogy is, let's use our friend, Ya But Bob, a person who's very highly skilled, has a lot of knowledge, subject matter expert in a variety of areas, yet really struggles with self-regulation, struggles with self-awareness, talks over people, dismisses their ideas, yet his motivation is to become a future leader. Now recently, I just had a conversation with this person, and not literally named Ya But Bob, but really exemplified the definition of Ya But Bob. And I'll just call the person Bob, and I said, Bob, I know that you want to become a future leader. And he said, yeah. And I said, OK, I want you to do something, and I don't want you to react right away. So what I'm about to demonstrate is reflective coaching. And I said, we just had a meeting, and I did something that I think was very, very unfair to you. And when I share with you what I did, I want you to know I did it from a place of caring, I did it from a place of concern, I did it from a place of development, and I did it from a place of helping you achieve your goal of becoming a manager. And I literally said it like that. So I got very calm, and he said, OK, notice when we use our voice and we calm ourselves down, which I typically don't do very well, he got very calm in that conversation. And I said, when that happened, when you had your meeting, how many times do you think you interrupted, disrupted, or talked over people? And we were face-to-face, and he said, wow, I don't know, I take it it's pretty bad. I said, I don't know if the word is bad. I just want you to be hyper-aware that the very people that were in that room someday could have you as a leader. So the question then becomes, do they want you as a leader? Are they going to promote you as the leader, meaning they're going to stand behind you? And don't answer now, I want you to give some really good thought to that, and let's get back together tomorrow. And he said, wow, you have given me a lot to think about. The next day, now the bad part of the story is the next day is you look like someone zapped the energy out of him, which can happen. And I said, look, I didn't mean to put you back in your heels. I want you to achieve your goal. I just don't want your lack of awareness to undermine your own goals. He said, I haven't stopped thinking about it. He said, what was the number? I said, 12. He said, oh my gosh, it was a 30-minute meeting. I'm interrupting people like every two to three minutes. I said, yep. I counted factually. He said, oh my gosh, I said, look, I'm proud of you for coming back here, willing to go through this. You have a smile on your face. This will unlock a door. Next meeting. To this guy's credit, he said, look, I was just talking to Tim, and I owe everybody here an apology. And I've let my passion run over some of you people. And his voice cracked. He said, I am humiliated. I am humbled. And I didn't know I was doing it. My intent was helpfulness. And I want to apologize to everyone. Never asked him to do it. The reception of that guy just skyrocketed in that meeting. People are like, wow, you know, we didn't know. We thought you were angry. You know, we thought you didn't think the meeting was going well. See, when we're self-aware, boy, the intent and perception that we want to create gets a lot tighter. It gets a lot more concise. It gets a lot more accurate.