Trust Overview

Building trust as a coach is challenging, but there are some principles you can follow. Firstly, acknowledge what people are doing well more than pointing out their mistakes. Secondly, ask people how they prefer to receive feedback, balancing acknowledgement of strengths and areas for improvement. Thirdly, let people know you will be honest, even if it's not always what they want to hear. Trust values are important, such as going directly to the source and being open to difficult conversations. Being trustworthy as a coach means defining and sharing those values with your team. When coaching to trust, it is tough. Trust, again, is a very big topic, a lot like teamwork, a lot like communication. There's a lot of contributing factors to trust. So you as a coach, telling the truth, going to the source, not talking to three other people and not the source, ultimately starting a rumor, it's tough. So we'll give you some fundamental principles of building trust as a coach. Now, when you're coaching to trust, you first have to instill trust. The first suggestion is make sure you acknowledge what people are doing well, more than when you are pointing out things that they're doing wrong. It builds trust. Now, you could give someone constructive feedback 20 days in a row, you could be highly accurate. But are we honestly thinking to ourselves, people are really attentive and they're listening and they're embracing? Now, if you only get constructive feedback, people will shut down over time. So the other thing that you can do is ask people, what's the best way to approach you? When I have some acknowledgement of strengths, as well as where you can improve. By asking that, it builds trust. Number three, let people know you will be candid, straightforward, you will tell the truth. Doesn't mean you're always right. Let me give you context. I've coached volleyball for 31, 32 years off and on and at my parent meetings when I was coaching a varsity team, my second time around doing that. And I would ask parents, how many of you want me to be honest about your kid's ability? Everybody raises their hands. I said, you're all lying to yourself. Everybody starts laughing, which is an acknowledgement. They don't really want the brutal truth. And it's tough because you're hearing negative things or potentially constructive things if a kid's not playing about their most prized asset, their children. Trust is tough. The way you coach to trust is to have some trust values. Now you have to make up your own. I'll give you some. Go to the source. If you are struggling with someone, please do not go to two or three other people. They will interpret, spin it, potentially tell three more people. Now there are nine versions out there. They will not be like one another. Number two, be open to the fact that when someone is being trustworthy, it's not easy for them either. It's not easy for you to hear it. It's not always easy to deliver. Number three, honesty. It is tough being honest. So think about your spouse coming down the stairs and your wife says to you, how do I look? And you're thinking, oh my gosh, that dress looks awful. You're not going to say anything. It's tough, right? Because we're kind of conditioned to say, no, it's great. So when an employee comes up and says, am I doing a pretty good job? And they're rhetorically asking, I'm doing a pretty good job, right? It's a tough situation. So when you have values, think about creating as a leader your own trust values. Share those with your team members. Share the definition of what it means to be trustworthy within our team. Use that defining coach. Being trustworthy as a teammate means what? By doing what? And that will serve you extremely well.