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The host, Diana Collins, thanks her listeners for their support and announces that she defended her project and joined a radio station. She also thanks her sponsors. She talks about a conversation she had with a woman who has a terminal illness and is being belittled by her family. Diana expresses her frustration and encourages listeners to prioritize their own health and make plans for the future. She emphasizes the importance of taking care of oneself and not allowing others to diminish one's struggles. Hey everybody, welcome to the Soulful Eclectic. I am your host, Diana Collins, and I want to welcome you to today's episode. If this is the first time you're joining me, I want to say thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you for taking the time out to listen to what I have to say on the show, and also hopefully sharing it out to those who may find some interest or may find something in it that resonates with them, so I appreciate you. And for those of you who are returning, welcome back, welcome back, welcome back. Thank you, thank you, thank you for taking the time out to come back to this crazy soulfulness that we have going on on this show. So I just want to let you all know that I appreciate you and I thank you so much from the bottom of my heart and the tips of my toes for all that you guys have done. Thank you for sharing, thank you for caring, thank you for the support, thank you for just thank you, just thank you, thank you, thank you. So today's episode is a day late, and I do apologize because, you know, I had a lot of things going on, and you guys all are very aware of that I've always got like tons of stuff, and one day in my life it'll all slow down, and it won't be at the end of my life. It will slow down at some point, and it'll slow down in a good way, not anything negative. It'll be in a good way. But yeah, so I did, I had some great things going on, so first and foremost, I defended my project, yay, so first leg of that is done, three more legs to go and I'm off and running and you guys will be calling me Dr. Collins soon, so thank you for that. And also I have joined the radio station WUBI Ubiquity Radio, so you guys will have me on radio on Sundays at 6pm, and that's Mountain Standard Time, 9pm Eastern Standard Time. So yeah, so I'm excited about that, woohoo, thank you, thank you, thank you to everybody on Ubiquity Radio who invited me in. Thank you Moni, thank you DJ Balow for the warm reception and the welcoming, thank you to all who are on Ubiquity Radio, and thank you for the warm reception, I appreciate you all. All right, so with that I also want to thank my sponsors, Divine Nubian Essentials, the best body care cream I can ever even hope for, and also hair oil, I can't even think right now, oh my gosh, when you want this authentic, you get an authentic, so yeah, my hair oil, thank you so much for supplying me with that, I completely appreciate you, and also to Collins Commons Education Resource Management, let me tell you, they're doing some amazing things helping nursing students survive this treacherous, arduous, mundane, daunting nursing education, and it's all of those things, and I can say that because I am not only an educator in nursing, I've been through it, right, so I can say all of that because it does, but it is a great career path, it is a great profession, and I have nothing but great love and passion for it, so thank you to Collins Education Resource Management for helping those students survive nursing school, but with all that out of the way, I wanted to talk today about this conversation, and you guys know all my, just about everything that I talk about on my podcast has, generally, has to do with a conversation of some sort that I've had with some person of relation, some person that is close to me, just somebody, right, even random people in the street, believe me, random people tell me the damnedest things, it's amazing what people will share, and I am all for it, it's just, you know, I don't mind, because obviously if they are saying it, they need to get it off their chest, and I'm happy to listen, scarily, I am happy to listen, but yeah, so this conversation actually hurt me to my soul, right, because this one was one of these things that you have a person, and I don't even know where to start, to be honest, because it's one of those conversations where you're just mad through the whole thing, because you just want to fight people for hurting other people, and I know in this, you know, world that we have now, and that we're living in, everyone is hating on everyone, and I just don't understand, we've got wars going on continuously, and who knows, we could be in World War IV or V by the time, you know, we have grandkids, and it's just crazy, it's crazy, we're in financial deficit, you name it, it's housing crisis, food crisis, it's hell, and I'm sure we're all feeling some brunt of it, but with that, you know, back to the conversation, sorry, I got off on a tangent there for a moment, back to the conversation, well, you know, we're having a conversation, and this is myself and another woman in her 40s, almost 50s, right, of a great age, I think it's a great age, we're very well seasoned in different things in life, but so she's been in this marriage for, I'm going to say about 20, 20 years, if not more, right, and have children, children are all adults, have children of their own, for the most part, I think there's two that still may, two or three that still may be at home, but they're teenagers on their way out, now this person has a terminal illness, and has been fighting it for many years, and there are members of her family that feel like that it's all in her head, and that it can be fixed with something simple as diet, nutrition, changing your mindset, all these lovely things that we first start out with when things ail us, right, and it's not wrong, sort of speak, because that's usually what we do from a healthcare perspective, we start changing your lifestyle first, right, change your health, change the way you exercise, the way you eat, the way all those things are always first, but when it comes to something that's terminal, terminal means it's not getting fixed, it's your body is just trying to hold on and maintain for the best it can, right, prognosis, the terminal illness, is always and then the end of life at some point, just because it's not happening, and the person's not being, you know, it's not debilitated in front of you, they still can walk, talk, and have their mental faculties about them, does not mean that their terminal illness is less than terminal, right, so you see all these surface things happening, but yet you don't see the underlying suffering, and the underlying things that the individual has to go through, and please excuse the noise in the background, my husband is being, is cleaning, and so he decides now he wants to do that, which I appreciate, so I'm not even gonna be mad at it, but anyways, so yeah, so he and one of the other children belittle her, right, oh it's nothing, it's all in your head, you make it sound like you're dying or something, you ask this, she is dying, okay, and if you want to put it in a broad perspective, frick, we're all dying at some point, right, it's just she may be just to it, and I apologize for the aircraft going across, but yeah, so it, it fueled, oh man, I was fuming during this conversation, because I, you know, I am that practical person, even though there is, I have a level of empathy and sympathy more than I probably should for certain things, but during this conversation, I'm like, okay, these people have no thoughts, no cares, no understanding of the condition, and they have gone to the doctors with her to hear the doctor explain these things, and all they take away are the small pieces, oh, diet, nutrition, breathe better, you know, those kind of things, and it's like, no, fuckers, it's so much more than that, and I'm sorry for the bad language, I promised myself I was going to get better, I'm working on it, I'm a work in progress, so yeah, so it's just that, that was very frustrating to hear, and to experience, and I wanted to be a listening ear for this individual, and let them know that, you know, it's not about them, it's about you, and the reason I share this is because it's a lot of people going through something like this, where you're being demeaned, and belittled, and made your condition that you're living with less than, because they see you're able to do certain things that you force yourself to do, and you probably shouldn't be doing, based on your condition, right, and I know there's a lot of people who are living like that, I've seen them, I've had them come in my clinics, in my hospitals, you know, because they've worn themselves down, because their family thinks they still can, you know, do the cooking, the cleaning, and all the washing, and they really can't, and they really shouldn't be, right, so they come in with their conditions exacerbated, which is their conditions are worsened, because of the overexertion that they have done, and so I just want to take that time out, and recognize those individuals, and say, I see you, and I understand, at this time you need to be selfish, regardless of what anyone in your family feel, or say, it's about you, it's not about them, okay, and I will say it again, it's about you, not about them, and I say that to those of us who are well, as well, you have to take the time out, and focus on you, and what you need, and what you're going to need for the remaining time you're on this planet, right, while you're walking this earth, what do you need to make yourself comfortable, and that's the conversation that we had, unfortunately, I didn't get to finish that conversation, we got interrupted, but I figured I'd share this conversation with all of you, and say this, even if you are walking, talking, breathing, and you have the best of health, as you guys are seeing on the news, we are all just leaving this earth faster, and sudden, than expected, and some of us in the best shape of our lives, so no one is promised tomorrow, so here's what I am charging all of you to do, look at your situation in life, okay, evaluate where you are in your health, evaluate who you would like to speak on your behalf in the event that you are unable to speak on your own behalf regarding your health, pick someone, it could be someone different, who will be the executor to your will, and who's going to be the one who's going to follow through, pick someone who is able to understand what it is that you want to be done with your life, with your body, after you have gone, and who are going to be able to carry that out without discretion, it's hard, it's a challenge, and it's nothing any of us want to think about, but it's something we should, and it doesn't matter how old you are, you can be 18, and start doing this, and you can be 50, and start, it doesn't matter, you just need to take it, your time, and do it, they have health care proxies online, your hospitals have them, when you go into the hospitals, you have them at your doctor's offices, you just need to fill one out, and understand what it is you want to be done with you as a person, and make sure the person you choose is willing, and is aware that you chose them to do this, that's the key to all of this, and check your life insurance, and I'm guilty of it as well, as being slacking on life insurance, and those things, so definitely look at your life insurance policies, and who your beneficiaries are, and make sure all your paperwork is up to date, and in order so that you're covered in the event of something suddenly happening to you, or a family member, and have the conversation with your children, your parents, and do the same thing for them, and something that we don't talk about, death and dying is for the macabre, you know, we watch it on TV, horror movies, we're coming upon All Hallows Eve, and Halloween, so you know, everybody's watching the tons of horror movies, you think those people knew that they were going to die that day? No, but I'm sure none of their things were in order either, so I say that lightly, but it's serious, we don't know, we don't know, so you know, we got to prepare for this stuff, even as, you know, sad, and no one wants to talk about it, but we need to, and especially those of us in the global majority, we don't talk about it, we don't have that conversation, you know, we weren't raised to think about who's going to, who's going to be the one to speak for us if we can't speak, who's going to, because we just never thought about those things, and you know, being a healthcare provider that I am, and being a nurse educator, and all these things, it's things that I always share with my patients, and it's something that I always say, you need to have this conversation, no one's promised tomorrow, none of us, I'm grateful every day I get to wake up, and I'm breathing, and I get to start a new chapter in my life, so think about it, think about it, so that was a conversation I was having with this person, and it breaks my heart that, you know, unfortunately she has to rethink her priorities, and who she has listed for these things, because the people she has listed, she no longer can trust and believe that they'll have her best interests in mind at that time, and from the end of the conversation, yeah, I don't either, I don't either, so yeah, you really need to think about these things, and have those conversations, and put these pieces in motion, so you don't have to think about it, and pick people you trust, and believe in, and that believe in you, and will be able to carry your decisions through, regardless of what they are, that's what it is, but yeah, so I know today is a really dark kind of conversation, but it's a conversation that we needed to have, and needed to be said, because it's something that we don't talk about, and as we, as I spoke about in the beginning, the way the world is today, and I say today, like it's never been this way, this is the way the world has always been, but it's just, we choose when we're paying attention to it, the world has been like this forever, in my opinion, yes, that's my opinion, some days I'm allowed to give my opinion, but my opinion is, it's always been this way, and just some of us have awakened to really pay attention to it, and myself included, I live in a little bubble, where I don't even watch the news, because it's so sad, and devastating, and it makes me not want to go outside, and it makes me not want to talk to people, so I no longer watch the news, I get the news secondhand from friends, family members, and so forth, and so on, podcasts, and things like that, that's how I get the news, otherwise, I am aloof to it, because I think the news is biased, and I can't deal with that, I have enough bias in my life, that I don't need the information you're feeding me to be that as well, so I do my own research, and find out the news, but yeah, but I digress, as I typically do, but anyways, so yeah, so let me know what you think, and if you guys need help, I'll put in the show notes, also, you know, some links where you can find some of these healthcare proxies, and information, so that you can get yourself in order, and it's easy to do, you don't need a lawyer to do it, you have some pre-filled out forms, that are online, that you just add your name, and what you want done, and you can take that in, and get notarized, I always err on the side of notarizing my paperwork, in the event that someone wants to challenge it, if it's notarized, and it cannot be challenged, and should not be challenged, so therefore, I would get all of that stuff notarized, and put in a safe place, and give copies to those who are being, are the ones you designate, as the ones that's going to speak for you, so that they know what they're going to speak to, and have a copy to show present, just in case your copy conveniently gets lost, you need to have more than one copy, but yeah, so that's my take on today, I know it's a little dark, and not very upbeat, I started out upbeat, right, I started out with some great news, but actually that, you know, that's what was on my heart, we don't talk about that enough, in our communities, in our homes, with our children, with our parents, and we, you know, are constantly stuck at the end of the day, when life is cut short suddenly, on what are we going to do, and here we are, trying to do a GoFundMe, to get someone buried, or you know, something to that nature, and it's just devastating, and you know, and I just speak to that, because thankfully, my family member, who just passed, God rest her soul, I wasn't able to go to her funeral, but she was my second cousin, that passed, and you know, no, we didn't have to do GoFundMe, or anything like that, she was a nurse, so she definitely had her paperwork in order, and her death was sudden, it was not expected at all, so that's another reason that I bring this topic up, too, that we need to do better for ourselves, as an individual, so be selfish, get yourself together, and take some time out, and enjoy yourself, right, you only have one death, but you have many lives, okay, every day you wake up, it's a new day, it's a new beginning, it's a new, forget about yesterday, right, it's a new, it's a new everything, so enjoy it, make it the best, but you know what guys, you die once, there's no coming back from that, so enjoy yourself, take care of yourself, and each other, and I want to hear, let me know if anything I said, if you have any other questions, whatever else you want me to know, and need to know, do share, I appreciate you, thank you, and take care of yourself, and each other, namaste.