Nothing to say, yet
Transcription
A mother recounts the pain of her son taking his own life and how she found peace in the presence of God. She shares that God's presence increased during that time and she was able to minister to others who had also lost children. She and her husband were told by God to pick up their son's spiritual mantle and minister to the youth. They experienced the manifestation of God's Spirit during a youth service. Despite processing their grief, they felt God's supernatural support. The mother also had a visitation from God in a dream while in Mexico. Wow. Benjamin. So the Lord, how do you feel that the Lord ministered to you or brought you through that time? What do you think would be, even if I could ask, the fruit of that? I think it was supernatural, Gordon, because when we found out... Because he had taken his own life. He had taken his own life. And I'm saying that because many who are listening or reading this may be able to relate to it. It's just nothing anyone could even describe, the pain of their child taking their own life. Yes. That night, we would watch him because he had, they had given him medication. And, oh, it's a long story. I don't know how to get into this. I just asked him to have one. Off his chair that night. I won't go into it. Maybe later. We know that there's a whole thing about the medication and like that. Yeah. Or maybe a different time and place. Yeah. So I remember that night he came and kissed me. He said, I love you, Mom. And not only then, but days before that, he put his head on my lap and he said, Mom. And he started confessing things in his life. And he really asked the Lord to forgive him. You know, he really would cry out for God to give him back his mind, you know, because he had gone into a dark place and didn't know how to come out of it, you know. And I know God could have brought him out of it, but there's things we don't understand. And there's things I don't question. I don't want to question either. Because then you start blaming God. But sometimes when we walk away from God, there's consequences too. Yeah. And so that morning, we normally would check on him. He wasn't there. And then we went looking, you know, we went to look for him, where he would be. And Jamie called the police and let them know that we were missing someone that had been suicidal, you know, that was not in the right frame of mind. And in the morning we had heard a fire engine come, but we didn't realize that it was for him. So then the investigator came and he asked us what he was wearing and everything. We gave him the details and then he looked at us and said, well, I'm sorry to tell you, but your son took his life this morning. And even though there was something deep, still deep in my heart that he would make it through, I didn't really know that he would be the one. You know, because I didn't have the faith. But then I kind of went like, you just kind of go like, it's terrible. You were in shock. Shock. And then I start calling up the children and, you know, it's just... And all of a sudden though, after I called the kids and that was done, a sudden peace flooded me. And I looked at the investigator and I said, it's okay, I have peace now. And it was as I experienced in that time as if I was on the chest of Jesus. Wow. Literally on the chest of Jesus. And still your mind is processing things, you know, but I experienced a presence. So people started flocking in from all over. Yeah. People were just praying all through the night. And it's as if the presence of the Lord has been increased deeper. Wow. The funeral, I don't know, did you guys go to it? I came. There was quite a few people there, but I don't even know who was there because... But then I began to minister to people. And comfort them. And only that God could do. Yes. It's something supernatural. It's not natural. Right. But I know that God's presence really increased in that time. Yeah. It's the depth of compassion. And then I ministered to so many people that have lost their children the same way. And it's as if God deposits in them. You know. Such deep compassion. Then I went from there, after the funeral, I had to go minister to youth in Bakersfield. I think that following week. And Jamie and I ministered to the youth. And the Lord told us that there was a mantle that we needed to pick up in the Spirit. That was Benjamin's, and we were going to give it to this generation. And in that meeting, the Spirit of God began to manifest Himself in a beautiful way to the youth. In the youth. In that youth service. And then from there we headed to Mexico. To Chihuahua, Guatemala, Mexico. And there was times where you weren't in that supernatural, where you could feel. You know, there was times where you would process things. Do you know what I mean? It's not like I didn't cry. But at certain times God supernaturally held me. And then I would be processing still, because it's a processing that you go through. Right? So, a morning, you know. So when I went to Mexico, I had another visitation. Now, in a dream.
