Episode 36 Body Ewan and Sean

The person recalls a time when they were constantly worried about mowing the lawn and how it was affecting their peace of mind. They eventually decided to hire someone to do it for them and it brought them a sense of bliss and allowed them to focus on more important things. They then talk about a book called "Who Not How" that emphasizes the importance of delegating tasks to others who are skilled at them, rather than trying to do everything yourself. They share personal experiences of how hiring others has freed up their time and energy, and how it has positively impacted their lives. They discuss the mindset shift from thinking about "how" to thinking about "who" and the benefits it brings. They also mention the societal pressure to do everything on your own and the fear of losing control. They emphasize the importance of finding the right "who" and how it can lead to increased productivity and fulfillment. The person also shares an example of hiring a cleaning service and how it all So I remember backing out of my driveway about 8 years ago and I looked to my left and the grass was overgrown and I was heading out to work and I remember thinking to myself I gotta get to work but that needs done and it really I remember the feeling that pulled my peace. Driving down the road I'm like when am I going to do that grass like when I get home but I've got this going on and I've got that and this weekend I've got this going on I don't know how I'm going to get to the grass because it's going to be really overgrown and I know the hassle when it overgrows you spend so much more time cutting it later you've got to fix the mower you've got to clean it up it gets if it's wet it's just a nightmare and I remember just thinking what am I going to do that whole time I was thinking that probably probably a good five minutes which feels like an eternity thinking about cutting the grass I thought to myself this is pulling like I'm not thinking about what I'm supposed to be doing today I've got some big deals that I'm working on I've got relationships I need to build there's other things I could be thinking about but I spent it thinking about this grass that's been pulling my peace this is not the first time this has happened to me this is happening over and over so my peace is getting pulled and I'm feeling more mad at myself that I just keep having these thoughts I've not fixed the problem yet until enough was enough and I hired this is like sacrilegious you know you cut your own grass you don't hire someone you know that's for posh people in Scotland we say the word posh I don't know if you use that here but I'm hiring a guy I'm like this is going to cost me I can't really want to spend money on this do I even have the money it's 25 bucks a week I'm more about getting hold of you know to pull it but and so I hired a guy and I remember the first time backing out of my driveway and the yard guy was cutting the grass and it was blissful I mean my sales we tracked it there used to be a tracker a graph that the graph was up who knows what it could have been but I got my graph I had more time and peace to focus on the things that I wanted to do and I know it impacted because there's other things I've done like that going forward and after that and I can't you see the numbers go up and that brings us to what we're going to talk about today I just want a little rant right there a little story but there's a book called who not how Sean introduced it to me take it away man this is your glory for bringing it I'm so grateful about this book that you brought to me yeah so a little backstory about this so in the past like building my first business which was in 2015 of course I didn't know there was books out like which I don't even think it was out the book didn't come out by Dan Selden till 2017 I believe it was and so in 2015 I'd read what's the book on delegation so basically delegation and outsourcing I can't remember the name of the book but one of the things that it taught me to is like hey in order to get to where you want to go you have got to free up your bandwidth you've got to free up your capacity to do the things that you want to do because I'm one person I only have so much time energy and effort during the day so if you're out mowing the lawn half the day well then that's what you're spending your time energy and effort doing and if I'm that guy I know that lawn is going to be the best-looking lawn on the parking lot so then it started so when I read this book it was like okay I need to start delegating and outsourcing to people to free up my creativity my bandwidth and at the time I didn't know it was about who and not how I just I just need to delegate so I can free up my time to do the things that it is that I need to do to keep moving the needle well fast-forward all these years probably up until about I don't know three months ago one of my coaching clients shout out to Micah he introduced me to this book by the name of who not how and sounds like all right cool I'll order it and we had talked about it in our coaching calls and so I ordered the book got the book I finished up my other book that I was reading about podcasting and learning how to how to to be a better podcaster for our listeners and our audience and our community and I finally picked up this book I was like you know what I'll go ahead and start reading it a couple pages in I was like it started like bringing back memories like oh my gosh this is exactly what I did in 2015 when I started the insurance company I started asking myself who and not how and so even though I was the how guy and the what guy and the things that I needed to do the marketing the advertising the you know the talking to customers the emails and all these things that come with the how and the what the who's came with team members people that I could bring on board to replace myself and so when I read this book man it was just a confirmation it was just a solidification like oh my gosh what I've done the last eight years of just when I really excelled at things and sped up the process is instead of asking how and what I asked who who do I need to reach out to you and so with this book I'm about halfway through in I'm like reading this book because me and you and building this podcast we've been asking the how and the what like how do we get these downloads how do we get reach and impact more people how do we serve our listeners how do we bring more value that's the wrong question the question is who who can help us impact more people who can speed up the learning curve which is like a mentor or a coach somebody that has been through what we are going through so it's the who and so this book we're reading it it's just like a breath of fresh air because we're like we already know this stuff but because of the confirmation that solidification is like if we can focus our time energy and effort on the who's on every single day in all aspects of our life oh my gosh we can get our time back we can get our freedom back and fulfillment I know I know how to do these things and but that doesn't the reason I wasn't excited is because it didn't click yet you have to it goes right back to that example of cutting the grass they're having a guy come in and fix it the bliss like when you really experience and you let yourself be free to let go of the reins because we're afraid to let control go yes because if I give it to this person we're here to handle yep well then it's not the way I want it what if it's not done right and we're taught in school school that you have to figure the answers on your own and so it doesn't society the culture this is counterintuitive we're not told who to ask for help is weakness you should be able to everything on your own and so I can't argue a single point you're saying it is it doesn't make sense to have someone do something that they are really good at why would you spend your time doing something you're not good at and and so I read the book and let me tell you I can't stop thinking about who else now. One of the first questions I had was can you find a who that can find other who's? So when we're talking about finding the who right obviously before finding the who you have to have your why you have to have the goal so when we're coming when we're asking who is it that we need to reach out to or build this relationship with or even to in sometimes like I'll share a quick little story if I may cleaning the house me and Kendra we used to clean our house well I would always call it our Saturday cleanup and in the morning times I'd have like a bang one of those energy drinks and dude I'd be like full energy like let's go so I would just elbow it and just clean our house right and save 90 to 100 bucks kind of like you in the mowing service well I learned really quick I'm like okay well this is taking all my energy and time and effort by two o'clock I'm done right I'm checked out my mind's exhausted I'm like is this what's the return on investment here like is this worth it because it's dirty 30 minutes later right typically I just drained myself so we started hiring a cleaning service to come in anyways where I was going with this is yesterday this guy comes in and cleans for three or four hours we hire this new cleaning service and so I'm like okay cool he's the who right I'm over here I was shooting intros and outros working with my business partner behind the scenes and this guy's cleaning our house so I'm over here moving the needle in my life going towards my goals right that's the whole point of the who is he's the who that can release my time energy and effort to come over here and shoot the podcast so that was my who in cleaning the house because the house needs to be clean it needs to be done so he's doing that I'm not the bottleneck I've removed myself from it well the funny thing is the guy leaves and then Kendra comes home and she starts assessing everything and she's like well he didn't dust that good he didn't do this that good and I'm in the first the only thing that popped in my mind is like that's the how in the what mentality right and so yeah he didn't do it to a hundred percent of our standards but he allowed me to free up to go do the things that I enjoyed wanted to do so maybe he was at 85% so let's use this as a teaching moment with him and say hey man moving forward here's what you know hey can we focus on this and oh yeah absolutely no problem right and we bring him up with us and now he's the who and now and so you're going to be way ahead of the person still just thinking and there's time to prepare and everything but when you apply that to the who if they're doing it at 80% yep and then you've got your 100% doing what you're good at well you saw 180% yeah and that's what it's and that kind of leads into one of the biggest problems I'm going to say for myself included that when you think about well who that's going to cost money and whether it's a cost people when you find the right who's you can't think of it as a cost it is an investment like when you invest into a Bitcoin or if you invest into the stock market you think I'm going to get a return on this but when you're hiring or not even hiring it might be a partnership like we're doing or when you just bring that who that is who you need and they are who you need funnily enough they are getting to excel what it is that they do so that is an investment in yourself just like a return on money which is more for a return of money or return on yourself yeah once you know it's yourself I mean there's no there's no turning back on that so anytime you bring someone in it should be the number one thing that you look for is that how you spend not your money but your control you're giving your control away like to get that return back in yourself and so that the book goes into that is brilliant and you're saying if you are just going to sit on the couch and have someone cut your yards in fact tell you what this is interesting story in the past or even a week ago I would have said this is interesting I would have said if you're not going to get a return on your investment as in money or on yourself then why would you hire someone because you're just letting you do it for no reason you just don't want to do it and there's nothing wrong with that but I was having a light saber fight with my son on Saturday we're having a great time right in the middle of it laughing hard and what I hear in the distance a lot more going on hmm it's my yard guy I'm having fun with my son Wow Saturday and we don't have to do it here's another interesting site you know I think when my son is of age he's eight right now I think maybe me and him will do the yard together purely as an investment in our relationship yes we need to do the work yep we're just doing work we're gonna hire someone so we can go enjoy the life that we want but if it's to build work ethic and you know we've accomplished something together I look at it differently you know what I mean but I haven't played with that yet. What would you say to somebody that's asking okay you and that sounds all good and so you're playing with your son he's out mowing the lawn what would you say to somebody say well what if I enjoy doing that what if I enjoy mowing the lawn what if I enjoy getting my groceries what if I enjoy cleaning the house? If you get joy from it, 100%, you just have to think what is the cost? Is there something else that you could be enjoying even more? And if that's not true, well then 100% go cut a yard. That's something that's like a hobby basically if you enjoy that much. But if it's because you enjoy doing it and you're putting something else off because of it, something, if you wanted to build something, and you say well I don't have the time to build that thing that I would really love to have in my life, I'm not going to do it. Then that's you're avoiding, that would be an avoidance tactic. I used to love cutting the grass, but then it got exhausting. I don't know if that's an excuse or not, but at some point I detested doing the yard. It was just a source of anxiety. So yeah, for someone that enjoys it, have at it. But if it's $25 an hour for someone to do it for you, and you think that if you could do something else it was worth more than $25 an hour, that's not true. If it's worth more than $25, whatever that thing is, maybe it isn't just spending time with a loved one and spend the money. Because that's an investment in your relationship and how valuable is that? There's nothing more important than that. So what would you say to them? Yeah, so I would say be real honest with yourself. And what I mean by that is I used to love doing the lawn. I think I even told you that. I remember even saying those words to you. Years ago I was like, I'll never have somebody mow my lawn. And so reflecting back I'm like, well why did I say that? It wasn't true at the time? It was true at the time. So that's why I asked that question, right? Because I know there's people thinking like, well I enjoy doing these things that I'm doing. But if you're real honest with yourself, is it that you enjoy doing it or is it because of the judgment of our parents? I'll be completely transparent. I used to change my oil. I used to live in Hig Creek off of Conroe in the cul-de-sac. I have a Ford Fusion car. I would be the only guy changing my oil when I first started the insurance business. I was living paycheck to paycheck. I had zero dollars to my name. And I was like, dude, I'm saving money. I've got to reinvest it back into the business. And so I had a Ford Fusion, paid cash for it, and it leaked oil. You'd pull up to a red light. I had to turn the AC off because it would make this screeching noise. I'd be super embarrassed. So I had to do all these things to the car. Well then I would try to save 10, 15 bucks by doing the oil myself. And then reflecting back, I was like, I would tell myself, people would ask me, why do you change the car on the cul-de-sac, like on jack stands? And I would literally sell it to them like, oh it's because I enjoy doing it. Because of the fear of the judgment and getting made fun of me. But your real purpose was to save the money because you were building your business. And maybe for a very short period of time, that was really smart. I can give you credit for that because you were that determined to build your business. You really were saving every penny, but at some point you'd be like, okay, that portion is over. Now it's time to spend the money on reinvesting into Hadoop. You got to the point where you were just kind of hiding it. Yes, I'm saying I enjoy this. Yes, I'm saying I'm saving the money. But now that I don't do that, I'm like, dude, even reflecting back, I would have told that guy. I would have told that guy that's doing that, bro, listen to me, let's break this down. You're spending three hours on a Saturday with the time, energy, and effort. You got oils on your hands. I know you're cussing underneath that car. Not only is it dangerous and you're saving 20 bucks, but what are you saying no to? Because you're saying yes to changing the oil and because I wasn't asking myself who, because I was doing the how and the what. I wasn't asking myself who. The who was the guy that is an expert that changes the oil. Now that he's the who, now I go to him, hey, I'm going to pay you 60 bucks and now I'm able to spend that three hours on whatever the heck it is I want to do. And that's what, bro, listen to me. Are you listening? When I did that, I read the first book that I had read in my entire life. When I started getting somebody to change the oil for me, I read Rich Dad, Poor Dad. And it was the first book that I had ever read in my entire life. In 2012, 2013? Almost 10 years ago when I read that book. I would have never read in my entire life. You would have had to pay me hundreds of dollars to read a book. I just did not like reading. But because I was able to, I'm sick and tired of doing this as far as the car goes and doing all the maintenance on myself. I just did it because that's what my dad did. And I was like, well, that's what I'm familiar with. That's what we've got to do. We've got to save 5, 10, 15, 20 bucks. But I was able to free up that time and I was like, you know what? What am I going to do with my time now? Well, I'm going to go pick up a book. So I started picking up a book and then boom, that's when the magic started happening and it started compounding. And so now, fast forward 10 years later, you pick up this book again and you're like, who, not how? We're like, me and you have to do a podcast on this. We've got to share this with our family and friends and community and our listeners because if you can be intentional about who, not how, in everything you do, I'll share another story with you. I'm super excited. The other day, my wife, so I love this. If you're listening to this and you're like, man, how can I get my wife or kids on board with this? I'm going to give you a little tip here. So the first tip is you've got to show up as a role model. You can't sit here and point fingers. You've got to show up and do it yourself. Then they'll start modeling your behavior. So what I mean by that is like the other day, my wife texted me. She's like, I got a little notification that said that my wife had submitted a H-E-B. I'm like, hey, you're submitting a H-E-B. Normally we have this system that comes every Saturday. She's like, oh no, I've got to pick it up for our Christmas party. We had a Christmas party for one of our businesses last week. And so I was like, all right, cool. And so she submitted it and it wasn't delivery. It was curbside. And so normally I'd have been like, oh, okay, cool. I'll see you at the house. But then I used it as a moment to like make a plug. I said, because I was reading the book, I said, babe, I'm so proud of you. She's like, what are you proud of me for? I said, I'm proud of you because you just did a who. And she's like, what do you mean? And I said, you leverage the app and you leverage H-E-B curbside for them to come out, bring the groceries and put it in your trunk. And she's like, she still didn't understand it to a certain degree because I know this is just going to play out for the next few months. But that's the whole point is I laid a mustard seed in her. Now she's like, oh, yeah, H-E-B is the who. Because you're the who if you're the one going to the grocery store, picking your own groceries. And so if you can apply, you can systematize and ask who to free up your time because she just freed up how much? An hour, two hours of her time by doing curbside and she paid four bucks. Right? Come on. You're already worth more than that. When I got the yard guy, I didn't think about he's the who. That's what I was doing. Just like Kendra, she did it and didn't even know. But if you break it down and analyze it, you're right. You're like, that made it easier for me. That took a responsibility off my shoulders. What happens when you take responsibility off your shoulders? You have capacity in your mind to do whatever. That's right. You have to think how many people have never had anything left on their plate other than the thing that they're good at and love to do. And I'm starting to taste that. It is indescribable when you just get to do what it is that you're good at. And good leadership, like we talked about this morning, is letting people be free to do what they're good at. Don't get a who and then tell them how to do. You need to hire a who and let them get it done. Yes. Because them being in their zone of genius, I never heard that term, but you brought that to me, Sean. Because if you just give them, tell them, hey, this is the result I want. Yep. And then let them go do it on their terms. Right. They're that person that can get it done. Let them get it done. Right. And it's a beautiful thing because then they're happy. Yes. And you're happy. Yes. Both people are happy. So you're organizing, squeezing, trying to get a result. And you've talked about that in the past. And you beautifully learned when you're leading people that you have to let them be free. Yes. Otherwise, you'll drive them up. Yes. Yes. Yes. It makes me think, because even to this day, I have to be very intentional about it. Even with the who's that I've brought into my life, yourself included, right? There's a lot of unique abilities that you have. And so us building this podcast and stuff like that together, it's like before coming in here, it's like you were my who. Right? You brought the how and the what. And now it's like we're leveling up together in like, okay, who is our who on top of the who? Yes. Right? I just realized that if you are our how and what, we could use the who. Well, now you're getting the who's that know how to do the how's and what's even better and more often. That's right. So then you can, if that's your zone of genius is the how and what, you get to use the who in 10, 100x that ability on how and what. Yes. So like just think about how much more if you have 10 people that are able to execute your vision and dream and what you're good at, then you're going to have those people doing the same thing. And then the next level's on it. Yes. And that's how you build however big you want to go. What would you say to somebody that's, because I know a lot of times like even coaches and a lot of our community and listeners, they would say, yeah, Ewan, I get it. This all makes sense. The who, not the how and the what. Right? Because that's how we're always taught in school. It's so hard for me to do it. Right? It's so hard for me to release the reins. It's so hard for me. It's a leap of faith. It's not going to feel easy. It's never going to be, oh, this makes logical sense. Whether it's the control or the money. Some people you may have to pay, right? Or if you can partner, beautiful. If you have to pay them, the principle's still the same as giving up control. You have to, it's going to feel like you're going over the edge of a roller coaster and it's exciting and fun and you're nervous, but that's what the feeling's going to be like. But once you've whipped around the roller coaster and you're back where you were, you're like, that was excellent. Yeah. Let's go again. Because it was wonderful. Yeah. And so I think you just have to trust yourself, trust faith in your own ability that that person is good at what they do or that this money is not a cost. It's an investment. I'm going to get 150. I'm going to get 1,500 max. Yep. That's an investment in yourself and your business. You got to trust. And if you can't do that, you're going to be stuck for a long time. It reminds me of, I made a post when HEB, in the community that we live, I made a post in our community and I was so excited when HEB started delivering to our neighborhood. And I would have never thought in a million years, I'd share it with my dad, I'd share it with like, and my dad's like, what, you get delivery service? I'm like, no, I'm going to go pick my food, right? I'm like, dad, how many hours do you spend on a Saturday? Six hours? Dad, I spent six minutes submitting it and I'm able to go do it. What does he think about that? He's like, good for you, son. And I've learned to be a role model, right? To keep showing up. So it's funny because we always go back and forth and he's like, you travel all the time. I'm like, yeah, I travel all the time because I have a bunch of who's in my life. And I get to do the things I want to do. But going back to the story with the community, I remember sharing it in the community because I wanted to share it and impact them like, hey, this is the experience I just had. Got delivery, got groceries on my front porch, took me six minutes to submit it to the HEB app. I'll never forget this one guy and he said in the comments, of course, there's always going to be haters, right? There's always going to be folks that think differently. And that's okay. And that's compassion. It's grace, love. And let me come from a standpoint of like, I used to think like that too. That's how I was raised. And thank goodness for shedding the light and going through what we've been through. And so this guy had commented on the post and he said, well, yeah, that makes sense for delivery. And I understand that. However, I like to pick out my own meat. I'll never forget that. I was like, I remember laughing in terms like he likes to pick out his own meat. I'm like, that's great, man. Like, you know, and I remember loving the comment. I remember telling him, I was like, dude, that's awesome. That's good for you, man. It's not if, but when, right? Yeah, sure. You know, but it's amazing what like people put to it. Like they put, you know, and that's fine. And we all have, we're all in different seasons of life. And my dad may enjoy going on a Saturday and doing that for six hours. If that's the case, cool. I love it. Right. We're always going to do things the way we do it. But for the ones that want, that are like, dude, how do I release myself as a bottleneck? I'm tired of doing the how and the what. Then this is for you. This episode was for you. The who, not the how and the what. So. I believe we're going to put a link to this book, Amazon or wherever, in the show notes. That's right. We're working on that. So it should be in there. You don't get it from us. We don't care. It's just access. You can go get it on Amazon. Dan Sullivan, phenomenal book. If you're a business owner, and you don't understand what we're talking about, you've got to read it. And do yourself a massive favor. Leave the faith. Have the trust. It will pay big results. So. No doubt. Level up and live. Level up and live.