Standing in your Truth!

Hello, everyone. Hello, Queens. Hello, Queens. And welcome back to Queens, Who Empowered Queens. Did you all miss us? Because we surely miss you guys. My name is Sarah Williams. I am your host, also known as Ms. Georgia Prime. Today's topic will be Standing in Your Truth. Bringing back with us our professional counselor, Ms. Nacopia Bratley. Welcome, Queen. Queen, you are muted. You've got to unmute yourself. Hello, all Queens. Hello, Queen hosts. It is a pleasure to be here, as always. Yes, and I am glad that you are here, Queen. Thank you for joining us. Thank you. Yes. So, of course, you all know that we have to bring you all the exclusive. Another phenomenal Queen will be joining us this evening. Introducing Ms. Ohio Prime 2022, Division III. Give it up for her, you guys. Welcome, Queen. Hey, everyone. Welcome. Hello. Thank you for having me. Yes, it's a blessing to have you on this platform today, Queen. Thank you for joining us. So, Queen, we are going to go ahead and get into this interview today. Okay. Happy Monday, you guys. Happy Monday, and thank you guys for coming back to back and joining us. So, the first question that I have for you, Queen, can you introduce yourself and tell us how you relate to this topic? Sure. So, my name is Taylor Emsch, and to tell you guys a little about me, I am, like Sarah said, the current reigning Ms. Ohio Prime, Division III. I am 30 years old, and I am from the Columbus, Ohio area. This is where I was born and mostly raised and currently where I reside now. My platform is largely based around the positive impact that physical fitness has on our mental health. So, as a competitive bodybuilder, a lot of my time is taken up with training, but I also volunteer with a local nonprofit that helps provide children with weekend meals who struggle with food insecurity at home. I'm also a published author on Amazon. I have two journals that were written and designed to encourage accountability and gratitude and intention setting. So, those are available on Amazon now. And I'm also a dog mom. I have three miniature dachshunds with my boyfriend, Dylan, and we have been together for a little over a year and a half. I come from a very interesting family life where I currently do not speak to about half of my family. Unfortunately, I also share my last name with that part of my family I don't speak to, and I relate to this topic because of this relationship. I have faced a lot of criticism and a lot of weight that I hold personally because of my attachment to that last name. And becoming a pageant queen has been so impactful for me because it really is important to me to show that that is not who I am and I am not tied to that. This is my truth. This is my direction that my life is going in, not what my last name varies. I love it, queen. Thank you. What is the importance of finding your truth? The importance of finding your truth is really the epitome of who you are. It really is the root of who you are as a person and how you see the world and how the world sees you. Standing in your truth and understanding who you are as a person is constantly evolving. So it's kind of hard to find a definitive answer because we're ever-changing and we're ever-growing. So if we sell ourselves too short by saying this is who I am at the core, we're always evolving. We're always changing. So we have to be open to being able to expand who we are at the core. And you can hear my dogs in the background here. Yes, I am a dog mom also. Dogs really understand who we are. So, queen, when we talk about owning who we are, owning who you are, what does it mean to own in your truth? Owning your truth, I would say, is, again, accepting. Let me yell this in really fast. This is the littlest one, and he is the loudest. He is definitely loud. He is very loud. And he's the smallest. He's so cute. So to answer your question, owning your truth is really just accepting who you are, where you come from, and having no shame and no excuse for it. It's being able to hold yourself accountable for you being in control of your own destiny. It's a no excuses approach to this is what I want to achieve, and I have to hold myself accountable to get there. And if I don't achieve my goals, what did I do wrong? Where can I try again? And having that honesty with yourself allows you to say, you know, I'm not perfect, but I'm trying, and I'm accepting that I have these flaws about myself. I'm accepting that I'm growing and I'm ever-evolving. And having that good practice and that good rapport with yourself to be able to hold yourself accountable means that you're constantly being able to stand in your truth, to be true to who you are, to not having to put on this persona or be fake or perfect all the time. It's being real with yourself. I absolutely agree. I absolutely agree. I would like to say congratulations on all of your accomplishments. Thank you. I appreciate it. First to not first. Thank you. I understand that we cannot, like, we cannot, you know, have control over where we come from and who we come from. Right. And the next question that I want to ask you, like, we all have characteristics of our mom and our father. So, when you talk about family, how would you, do you think that you would be able to, like, just, you know, revolve around your family, you know? Are you saying could I exist with that side of my family? Yes. Like, why? I think there is a part of me that would be open to revisiting some of those old things. But it has been over ten years since I've spoken to most of them. So, in my mind, that's just not a part of me anymore. I think there is such an emphasis and almost a responsibility that we feel guilty by letting go of part of your family and to block out some of those toxic relationships, regardless of if they're related to us or not. I think, for me, the decision that I made ten years ago, I was 18, 19 years old, and coming now as a 30-year-old, I know that the guilt that I felt of not having that relationship with them actually was a good thing for me in the long run. They still, to this day, try to reach out, you know, try to reconcile. And for me, I just don't have the space in my life to go back and dig up all of those old things. But I know that eventually down the road, I'm going to want to stop, pause, and prioritize this. But right now, I just don't have the headspace for it. So, I'm trying to follow what we're – I understand. I love your explanation of standing in your truth and being able to evolve and grow and be able to be open-minded to change. But what is the barrier or the thing that you had to overcome with your family that you say your name is attached to, but, you know, you're not attaching yourself to the family of that name? So, what's your experience that you're willing to share, whatever parts you're willing to share, that maybe somebody else may need to hear or be able to relate to so they really have an idea of what we're talking about? Sure. So, my family personally has developed quite an interesting reputation for themselves where I'm from. They have dabbled in drugs. They have been in and out of jail, alcoholism, lots of other topics that are very similar. And we all look very, very similar. We are one of those families where you just look like an imp. I think it's the nose. The nose for sure is like a dead giveaway. And it's a very uncommon last name. You don't see it very often. So, if I'm ever in town, people are very quick to be like, oh, are you related to so-and-so? I'm also the oldest of eight children. So, there's lots of us. There's lots of us that have been in different school systems. So, that's a wide array of networking when you're in multiple school systems with an exact last name. I also have lots of cousins and nieces and nephews at this point that, once again, are just caught in this cycle of gangs and drugs and guns and all kinds of things. So, it's just a very toxic cycle of not getting out of this area. It kind of just comes with the area. And it's not necessarily anyone's fault that they aren't being given the ability to make these choices or to make different choices. But if I can do it, anyone can. If I could have gotten out, anybody could. So, I don't want to make excuses for my family and say that it really is just, like, they're landlocked somehow. But they have the ability to change their current situation, and they choose not to. And I have to be at peace with knowing that those are the decisions that they've made. I also personally experienced sexual abuse when I was a child. And although I was a minor at the time that it happened, it was very obvious who it was happening to. And so a lot of people in our small town knew exactly who it was. And I had a lot of weight on me as a 12-, 13-year-old girl at the time that it happened. And because of those situations, I feel like I was viewed a lot differently, especially by my peers. I was viewed a lot differently by my peers and by my peers' families. It made my friend groups look at me differently. It made, you know, can they come over to her house or can we have sleepovers? Well, no, because I lost that ability to have those relationships because of other people that surrounded my family. And so I have to kind of button up the relationship that I've had with other people just based off of the weight that my last name carries. So I'm so sorry to hear about all of the things that you had to go through to get to where you are today. It's definitely some traumatic experiences just from what I've heard. You said at 18 you were able to relieve yourself from such a toxic environment. What was your escape? How did you escape that toxicity? Yeah. So I actually was kind of forced out of the situation, and it was kind of a blessing in disguise. My dad kicked me out the night of my high school graduation. So he was drunk with some friends and for whatever reason was upset with me and told me to leave. And so my grandmother on my mom's side has been my biggest saving grace for my entire life. She is my number one supporter, and I could call her at any time, day or night, and she would be there as soon as possible, no question asked. And that is exactly what happened that night. She came with her best friend, and we had a van and a truck, and we loaded it up, and that was it. After that, it was no question. When I came home from college, that was where I went. And I just got really lucky that I had her support, and she told me that she was just waiting for the phone call. She knew it was bound to happen at some point. So it was just, we knew it would happen eventually. Well, it's a blessing that you had the love and support. All it takes is one strong person to love you through your experiences and your circumstances, to help you to overcome, to help you to break down barriers and dismantle cycles and generational curses. So it is wonderful to hear that your grandmother was there to be that anchor for you. Yes, she is an angel. Yes, it is wonderful that you had someone there to support you. Yeah, she's pretty great. How would your life have been different if you stopped allowing people, if you, wait a minute. I'm sorry, you guys. How would your life have been different if you allow other people to dilute and poison your day with their words and opinions? Well, I think I lived my life for a really long time letting people's opinions of me affect my choices and affect how I lived my life. I definitely, and I still struggle with this today. I definitely fall victim to comparison and I get into this habit of everyone is laughing at me and is ready to watch me fail and everyone thinks that what I'm doing is so silly and actually approaching pageantry in the same sense was hard for me at first because I didn't start pageantry as a child. This is something that's brand new to me and I think people's preconception of what pageantry is, is often negative and comical in a sense. And for me to put myself out there in a way that was professional and as a leader and as somebody who wanted to make a change, it was almost like the criticism of it was, well, why now? Why at 30 years old do you think this is a good idea? And it's just egotistical or all kinds of criticism that people can say about women in pageantry. And so if I would have let those opinions of this is a waste of time or this is just to boost her ego or to wear a crown in a sash and think she's important, if that was what I let ring in my head constantly, I wouldn't be sitting here talking to you guys. I'm sure that's true. And I wouldn't have all of the opportunities that I've had even so far. It's only been six months of truly having my title and I feel like I've made such an impact, not just to people in my community, but to myself. And so I'm really glad that I said when I turn 30, this is going to be the decade where I don't let people's opinions trickle into how I live my life. And that was actually what I said in my interview for Ms. Ohio Prime. That's powerful. This sounds very empowering. I want to say to you, with all of those things that you mentioned, it totally dismantles every notion or preconceived notion that other people believe about you and your motives and intentions for being in pageantry and doing anything that you do. So the same way you convinced yourself saying all of those things is the same way that you teach yourself to not be caught up in the opinion of people. You give yourself the positive self-talk and you continuously remind yourself of all the reasons why the thoughts that are being perceived of you is irrational. It's your duty and your responsibility to challenge those thoughts. And all of the things that you mentioned is just that. It's a way to challenge that and to dismantle any doubt or any lack of confidence whatsoever when you come against people who have oppositional things to say. Because the truth is no matter what you did, no matter what you changed to try to appease people, the bottom line is people are going to still think what they're going to think and they're still going to do what they're going to do. And so that's why when we make changes, we should make them because we want to make the changes. But we should never compromise ourselves for the sake of other people and it be at our expense. So I'm just very glad to hear that you understand the importance of your self-love and self-care. And whereas people have their opinions and things that they say and do, it doesn't have to penetrate here. That you stay true to what you believe. And as long as you know you're making a difference and your motives and intentions are pure, that's all that matters. And I think I have definitely learned that most people are so wrapped up in their own lives that they don't care what you're doing. I tell people this is something I get and I make the same parallel comparison to being in the gym for the first time. Most people are there and they are worried about what they are doing and they are not watching you. So if you feel like you look silly in the gym or that people are judging you or you don't know what you're doing, most people aren't worried about you and they're not watching you. And that's exactly how I've tried to approach Prime. And like I said, there's been times where those other thoughts trickle in and I'm thinking the exact opposite. But nine times out of ten, people are too wrapped up in their own lives to be worried about what you're doing. And to judge you and to make an opinion about your choices. Because they're worried about themselves. I love it, Queens, and I love what both of you all stated tonight on this platform. It's all about your mindset. We have to reset the mindset. It doesn't matter what the other people think. We cannot worry about what other people think because people are going to think what people are going to think. Yes, ma'am. You all just dropped some gems on this platform tonight because I was totally feeling the same way that you were feeling because a lot of people don't take what we are doing serious. So it takes us to take it serious. And sometimes it's just a lack of knowledge. So educating people on what it's about because, to be honest, what was betrayed for years when it comes to pageantry, it's about the beauty. It's about the shape and all of those things. And that's the way it has presented itself for years, if we can just be honest. What the media and all of that has presented is just that. And they minimize the difference in the lives that you want to make and the goals that you want to accomplish and the people's lives you want to change and reach. So it's important that, you know, educate, educate. I mean, there's always going to be a preconceived or misconception with all things, including therapy. So it's my job to educate people. No, it doesn't mean you're crazy. No, it doesn't mean that something's wrong with you. So educate, educate as much as you can, Queens. It's very helpful to people who just don't have the understanding. And so if they don't know, they don't know. Agreed. I actually was on a podcast recently where they referred to us as a beauty pageant. And I respectfully had to redirect what we're doing here because that's not it. I said, yes, we are all beautiful, but we are not just that. Absolutely, absolutely. I don't want to be more purpose involved than just that. Yes. That's right. Walking is to walk purpose. Yes, ma'am. Queens, from one queen to another, with the knowledge that you have now, what advice would you leave on this platform here tonight for other queens to protect their throne? So I read this question earlier, and I thought that I had one answer for it, but I'm going to go a different route. Okay. So I have lived a lot of my life being hesitant to enter any women organizations or to even be friends with groups of women because I have been burned by women in my past. And I was hesitant to join pageantry because of the same misconceptions that we have about pageantry, that it's catty and it's selfish and a lot of the same motifs that transfer over into friend groups of women, that women are jealous and gossipy and you name it. You've probably heard it. You've watched Real Housewives or Gossip Girl or anything. It's hard to be friends with women. It's hard to have genuine relationships with women when you've been hurt by women before. And so I would say from one queen to another, don't worry about protecting your throne. Your throne isn't just for you. If we looked at thrones as park benches or something where we all sat on the same platform at the same level and weren't trying to compete with each other so often, it would just make relationships with each other worlds different. That's a powerful statement because that brings up insecurity. Immediately when you said that, that's what came to mind. A lot of times challenges with females being friends, and that's not to say that every female has difficulty because I do know some people that really engage well and have lots of friends. However, there are those that have experienced trauma in their lives from wide ranges of reasoning that has shaped their perception of themselves. And as a result of that, sometimes that projects itself onto another female. So whatever strength they see in them that they want, instead of celebrating each other, they become insecure and they become intimidated by those things. So I think that if we learn how to really empower each other like we are supposed to be doing, celebrating each other, lifting each other up, and being real with one another about what's going on with us and where we are, I think we will get to a better place and a better understanding as women and be more supportive of each other. Certainly agree. I absolutely agree with you both. That's why I built this platform. I was tired of seeing love and hip-hop, basketball wives, all doing. And then, like, they have – it's us. We tearing each other down. Like, why we cannot be on TV building each other up? Why teach us that? They programming us. So that's why this platform was built. We have to stop that. Like, we all are important to each other. We all are a major piece. We are a piece to a puzzle. They program us to think that way toward each other, to hate each other, so we won't be able to build together. We have to stop thinking like that. And that's why I built this platform, Queens Who Empower Queens. No queen left behind. Absolutely. Absolutely. No queen left behind. And I would highly recommend any queen who finds themselves snarling up or prejudging another queen or feeling any insecurity internally when encountering another queen who has not said or done anything, that maybe it's time to reflect and look inward and really get to the places where it hurts so that you can heal. I absolutely agree. I absolutely agree. I would like to thank you both for joining us tonight. Thank you. Ohio Prime 2022 Division 3. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We appreciate you. Also, you guys, Queens Who Empower Queens YouTube channel is coming. You all stay tuned for that. Also, invite members, invite other queens to this group. Do not forget to share this live, you guys. Thank you all for joining us. Thank you guys for coming back. And again, stand in your truth, ladies. Let's stand in our truth, queens. We are not better than each other. We all are a piece of the puzzle, you guys. We all can reach the top together. Don't let the media or the TV fool you. We are the key, queens. We are the key. Let's go. We're going to the top. See you all there. Love you guys.