Sam - Session 5

Sorry, are you still here? There's actually funny me and wide I've actually have the same mic. Oh shit, it's an orb fest You Sploosh Hmm You This is true That was a that was an ill-advised fight to take I think we can all agree on that You Yeah You You Do you guys think Serafina made it out of that I Think we do Yeah, we can't leave her there Okay Well, I don't know it's kind of unclear it feels like if we believe in her hard enough maybe I don't know how it works Well, look I think she's still alive I think she's still alive we need to go find her Okay Back toward the collapsing then, huh? Wait, I thought you had meant that the dust had kind of settled but no, it's still actively avalanching. Oh Yikes. Oh Hell, okay. Well, I'm gonna look around for cover then That simplifies our decision-making I'm gonna hide behind the biggest tree I can find and Crouch on down I Get on in here I do Are you still a bear? Yeah, definitely still a bear. Oh My god Oh Pause button, okay Pause button, okay Pause button, okay Pause button, okay Pause button, okay Pause button, okay Pause button, okay Pause button, okay Pause button, okay Pause button, okay Pause button, okay Pause button, okay Pause button, okay Pause button, okay Pause button, okay Stern look Right like and the balls on this fucking bear like just the like ice and rock falling all around us Takes a moment for a stern look I Think what are we here for then, right? Hot damn Give me more fun facts about avalanches. I mean Head smashed in All right, it's a story to our literate listeners this is we're getting deep into the Alberta lore let's go Oh No, I'm yeah No, that was symbol was the kid Mufasa was yeah, he was must have been one of those with the Buffalo or something. Yeah That's not true you might also be there because of work You Well, do you have a way to stop an avalanche I Mean I think we just have to hide for a second and wait for some of this stuff to blow by us I don't see what else we can do You Okay, that'll be a 13 for me No, well that puts me at 15 That's a 15 with the hiding bonus for me Yeah You That's me downed Oh Oh Oh Shit guys we are literally metagaming. Let's go I Not as high as your performance stat Oh Let's go You You Yeah, and how much health do I have now to be clear Thank you Excellent, I'm gonna join you guys and run I Literally like that same thing. I've been full full instinct right now. Doran just had a pass with the infinite so You What what do you mean what time is it what time how could we possibly know that Does anyone have the ability to tell the time I I Think we're okay. Let's just sit down and take a rest you guys. You're right. I'm sorry officially. I'm sorry Okay, I'm gonna collapse on the ground Guys do we have enough Well said do we have enough supplies to make camp here You dork he did it twice, oh that was funny Sounds good. No, don't be don't be Oh, yeah, here's a pretty cute. Do we have enough supplies to make camp? I I don't think so Do you think we should just try and head back it looks like the avalanche has calmed down a bit I Brief rest I agree Oh My god, is that my cell? I Where's my cell the Hey little guy You missed a bit we lost Serafina do you you wouldn't happen to know where to find her would you Yeah, that checks out Okay, um, thanks my cell I do you I Think that means she's alive. Is she alive my cell is she alive? Do you think you could find her if she were if she weren't alive Are you finding her or are you finding what we want you to find? That's a complicated question for a mushroom Yeah, we have to go back guys we have to we have to go and make sure she's okay Well, my cell just found her she's got to be there I Should probably I don't I don't know. I don't know. I'm not thinking straight You're right, I'm not gonna sleep I can't sleep like this we need to go back Let's go we stuff myself deep back into that pouch until he is needed We love you myself I Heard My South books Oh Cute Nice good for him. It's been it's been like three days. It's crazy Can we get a weight check on myself, can we get a weight check on myself, please? Check out Thanks boardroom And we roll Absolutely passive Absolutely passive Okay Yikes that's an eight. Oh Yeah I Have to try let's go Tell me it's a dex check I'm good question. Yes. Let's yell. Yeah, let's yell for Serafina Yeah Two three Thanks myself Let's go. Oh, okay. That's a 21. Let's do it Hi, I mean I did IRL and in the game Follow the movement I'm running. I'm not waiting. I'm running You I'm gonna start pulling rocks up I Hi Sammy, we're looking for our friend. Have you seen our friend Serafina? She's a tiefling Oh Nah Huh Oh Hold on. Sorry quick question you Had your forest burned down by the locusts and you decided to move closer to them You All right, we got to get this squirrel some medical attention I Know I Whoa, okay, that sounds interesting and I want to hear a lot more about that But first of all, we got a paladin and a druid here. Can somebody heal this fucking squirrel? Oh Oh He's British now squirrels British That's crazy, you've become so much more eloquent and and European Not that Do you go ahead Not that great Uh-huh That's we got that was how it works I interpreted that as well Help us find her a British squirrel Nice oh My god, that's a crit Fucking squirrel just just slayed the entire mountain bear Yes Right Amazing can you show us the way Sammy? Oh You're the most amazing squirrel I've ever seen what you just did defies physics and probability, but I am fully on board lead on squirrel brother I Don't know you made a crack squirrel, that's amazing You Yeah, that's a 17 Whoa Well, I'm after I'm after Serafina I'm after Serafina like I hate her, but I love her kind of I Call that the Leon knows technique I Talk about like tickle sort of like paladin of transcendence, am I right? Huh You Go on it's easier. Yeah Yeah But they kept that one consistent through third edition as well That's what I'm used to and then first time I played with exhaustion rules from 5e. I was like what? anyway Yeah, that's true normally they're vicious Now if you flip them it might make more sense You Hell yeah, I Have superior dark vision Everybody should be impressed That's right Oh shit, yeah, I guess I have a 12 Oh, I'm not exhausted. So yeah, I have a 13 sick You It hasn't So is there a path to follow like if I can tell they've been there Okay I mean, I think we got a wait back the way we can't none of them go into the mountain You You've been down this path Oh, I remember it too. In fact, she's right here Oh All right, one second guys You Hey, hey, hey buddy, but what is in inside the cave? Well, I guess we should go see the beasts of great intelligence I Mean Guys I think we got to go in the mountain it we need to find Seraphina if there's even a chance that she's alive We have to go in there And if this beast is incredibly intelligent as it seems to be named after then maybe it can help us even if there's You know, no chance that we'll find her You So there's So there's so there's zero there's there's zero pathways there's So there's zero pathways that lead into the mountain from whence we came Yeah, that's the cave that I was caving about Well, then I click a Doran's confused He doesn't know which cave is which cave what he knows is he wants to go and find? Seraphina in whichever cave she is most likely to be in You Well, he's already He did it He did it he did a search on I can paladin math Wait, so we're not going in to look for Seraphina We're not going in to look for Seraphina And she's not in there All right That's true, okay. Well, let's do it then let's go Well, she's either in the mountain or she's piece of great intelligence, I mean that seems about right No, let's do it You So that I was like no shit Helen's the beast of great knowledge whatever the fuck Oh Yeah, okay, that's all right we could cut that in post We want great knowledge I thought that's good knowledge. That is some top-notch knowledge Yeah Be some great intelligence show us You You Mordred we we got a meditating bear. This is you. This is all you buddy You God why did he why did we let him do this? You Have we seen her can we see that she is here Oh I would like some intelligence. Um, oh Did I just did I hear I heard I'm looking at Seraphina You Seraphina Sarah You're here, oh god, I thought you were dead. Are you okay? Beverly Who the Oh Beverly the badger the badger from the place that we were at before with the badger the talked? Yeah. Hi Beverly I mean, yeah, we were worried about you. I'm exhausted My soul is okay You I'm beginning to think he may absorb magical energy and incorporate it into himself physically So, why did you go to sleep here? Okay Oh You You You And his eyes, yeah You What who the fuck is Sam who the fuck is Sam I don't Call the school you bastard you got out on a technicality. How dare you? You It's how he introduced himself in that That's true, I mean it's a little addict I'm he's addicted to lay on hands. It's the thing I Have a god the withdrawal symptoms are a bitch. It's almost it's almost more merciful to just keep him on it You I'm Doran is is going to wander over Stumble over exhaustively in front of the bear and say great bear bless me with your wisdom Great I'll take some of that As You yeah boarded way I'm gonna get bear intelligence. Oh Okay Okay. Okay. Sorry. Sorry. You're right. We that's my bad. I need to sleep Man that bear fucking loves you You Yeah, are you sure I Okay It's good to have you back You You You Okay, oh I got an 18 Regular regular regular you roll. I also got an 18 not sure if that's high enough I I You You You You was it begging for death Oh hell yeah level of time You Okay You Hmm Oh, I was yeah, I guess I just rolled mine, but yeah I got a six You Let's go, let's go Carlos my god Hashtag tank druid You You You Sorry, can you guys can you run that by me one more time? You Right, right, right. Okay, so that ends up being plus eight That's true Oh I'm level four. I oh guys, I just realized I need to either do ability score increases or Pick a feat You Well, I'm just wondering like what list we're choosing from Well, like I I have a good idea of what kind of feats I would like I'm just wondering what's available I'm looking at that home page right this second Any of them, oh, so are they available or do I have to run it by you? Yeah, well, I mean I was leaning towards like skulker or something that's kind of what I tend to I don't know Oh You Hmm You Well, I'm trying to decide right now actually Because like I may just buff myself to be honest You Yeah, we do have the finger the magic finger You Okay, um, I don't This I think that so the thing is is like if I Pick some other feet odds are I'm gonna forget about that. I Know I know it's more a matter of like I have to be careful what I pick because this has happened to me before Certain things just like oh, wow. Yeah that happened Do I? Yeah You No, I You Yes, this is You know have elves don't do reverie do they Yeah Um, so I think I figured out what I'm gonna take Yeah, you like Who Do it You Okay, I think I Think I'm taking I think I'm taking Elvin accuracy Excuse me Elvin Elvin accuracy You Oh Man I don't know how to actually add this to my sheet Okay Huh beginning to see the yes, I Have already stopped using it Hmm Almost I'm just literally finishing copying I need this on my character sheet or else I will never reference it ever again and people be like Oh, I thought you had Elvin accuracy Fuck you Christian. Fuck you. Okay I had a birthday less than three weeks ago. How dare you? You That's fair to be fair that's also what my face looks like just going through my regular life Like pretty much constantly just like ah, what just happened like that's kind of the vibe. So Um, sorry, give me I'm gonna need a minute literally one minute Oh Like Joey it's okay You They're both funny cops, yeah No, no not procedural cop dramas we're talking buddy cop, okay, I'm thinking Starsky and Hutch There's no procedure. We're diving over like car hoods. We're like screeching around corners blowing up yachts Exactly Yeah, and you better believe we're gonna reuse the same like car jump action shot four times in one season Like that is how it goes I Just like that myself it's like vastly more successful than all of us. This is the world. I want to live in Am I back Sweet Yeah, it should be fine I could do I could even scooch this in a little bit if it's helping Hold on How's that Same okay. Well, I mean there's not a whole lot more I can do. Fortunately. I'm not recording on this mic So if you can act through the graininess, then we'll be we'll be good You Christian hasn't washed himself That is just a just a steady stream I feel like I've been up for a bit Enjoying the sunrise trying to figure out what the hell to do I I Turn around from my digital in front of the Sun You No, he was not Oh If somebody asked if hope was there why okay You You You So Doran sees the bear grab mortared by the shoulders and steps forward bow raised You To or so You Morton are you sure that I don't really understand? Well, that's a pretty messed up thing to say man, what am I supposed to say to that Oh I'm trying to fucking throw on your fucking okay. Here's me throwing you a bone. Let's go fine. Fuck I don't don't trust that fucking bear Are you gonna need regular doses of healing to be this peppy or is this just how you are You Oh Man You You Well, do we have So first of all, haha big question where the fuck is TOR because I don't exactly see TOR lying around waiting for a finger I Sorry, am I missing a thing where TOR is here and ready to go? Oh So you're saying in an imaginary future where we find TOR we should give them back the finger Oh Okay You Do you make a very good case Fucking wasn't Yeah, that's an important question how many how many thousands of souls are trapped in this finger You You guys had a lot of time to talk So, where did they go I Don't know You You You Idaho well said This is all that I'm considering. We need to take a moment and think about what's best for us here I mean, are they really going to just let us go if they get back the means to control our past and future? You Sorry roll it back hope hope And by the way, I'm hope oh You Basically question is why should we trust TOR? You Wait, do you know where she is? You Well, I mean I don't sorry go ahead Mordred Huh It's the beast of great intelligence seems like someone we should talk to I don't know why you're being so weird about this I Won't Hit me with it. Uh-huh You You're giving me a dagger to shut me up Oh Fuck you mortars goddamn You Fuck That shut up shit shut shut you shut your mouth shit Yeah Devil go go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead No that tracks, yeah That makes sense, yeah, so we're not getting it out of here just so you know Huh Sure, let's do it. Sounds good. Sounds like a plan sounds like a great fucking plan. Let's do it Yeah, I'm great no, we're good yeah, we're gonna be here for the next few days sounds like and Be good, it's gonna be great. Let's go Now thanks for the knife mortar, thank you great dagger X really beautiful work fun amazing Actually, I'm really I appreciate it. Thank you. Yeah, let's go see the Druid Oh Great that's really nice actually, so we're just his pawns. We're just he's using us and that's what's going on. Oh That's nice that's can that's really can that's nice for him. That's cool. I Didn't say that I didn't say anything like that I said fine I Got a new I got a new knife, it's fine. Everything's good Whatever go on. I'm fine. I'm on board. It's good. Whatever. We got that. We got a few days. It's cool What are we doing folks You I'm I'm fuming. I'm fuming off in the sidelines I For the record, I'm officially the only one going into whatever is about to happen with no idea Oh You You You You You You You Can I be a little can I be a little suspicious cuz he's acting weird How about investigation specifically because he's seeming weird no insight K inside it is it's 14 You Hey, Idaho, you okay, buddy Um I'm gonna whisper to Serafina. He is not okay He's not okay Really badly lying. I Think he's doing his best if I'm honest You found him in a tree what were you doing in a tree? You You climbed a tree in that armor you climbed a tree He was hold on case Sarah, let's give it a second he's he was naked You Yeah, can you go ahead and tell me about exactly why you had your jumbles out I Am I'm getting in your face for the record deliberately distracting you You But you were mostly naked How much less how much less how much less And It's gotta be a slight of hand You No pop-up nice You You Then why did you tell us you were naked Wyatt you and I are flavor text right now. Okay, accept it I Thought you were trained at a church You Dude we are talking about nudity You You You Like like on on on Mount Delmere You Together we will devour the very God You what's up from soft fans You Oh Still in that 20, I mean I feel like we have to take it Yeah, can I say that I like like nudity fully believed but also he makes the check It's just like down we're down with the sickness You You we're all naked we took our clothes off after the prior revelation Don't body shame us I just put on my undies Which They really fucked this one up, Idaho You What she's just met him You know what I'm Yeah, I'm gonna be honest I don't I don't even care and I'm gonna walk away from the crew You I haven't even looked at the knife You I Mean is there any way we can rephrase that in terms of Bard skip You Do do do do do do do do do Do do But either way I'm lo FYI Mordred Filled me in on the details of the dagger. We're gonna find another chance to talk about exactly what that thing does You Yeah, I have literally already added it to my inventory Um Well, I actually was kind of thinking we would do the blade another time because I had this whole idea of how to be like Oh, actually, by the way, I realized I never asked you anything about this that sort of thing You You No, that must be nice I That was a very fun episode I enjoyed it a lot