Post Grad Rant 2

The blogger apologizes for being MIA and explains that they went to Mexico to recharge. They also mention some personal issues and stress related to a family member. The blogger opens up about their struggle with OCD and perfectionism, and how it affects their ability to enjoy themselves. They discuss feeling burnt out from their 9-5 job and the pressure of being the sole breadwinner. They emphasize the importance of trying one's best and taking breaks when needed. The blogger finds solace in their blog and the internet as a creative outlet. They reassure their readers that they are not alone and that everything will be okay. They end the post with well wishes and gratitude for their blog and readers. Hey guys! Welcome back to my blog and long time no talk. I'm really sorry for kind of going MIA for a while. I talk about this in my blog, but I went to Mexico. I've had some issues with my apartment, just you know, basic life stuff. While I was in Mexico, it was really nice to recharge. It was really nice to take a break from the traditional setting 9-5 that I'm in. But while we were in Mexico, we had some unfortunate news about a member in my family. I'm not going to get too much into detail. But it was a little more stressful than I wish it was. I just wanted to make this post to just like update, you know. Get a little personal, you know, talk about my OCD and just how recently it's just been kind of difficult to manage. Because, you know, I'm trying my best and I forget that even though I'm 22, I don't have a fully formed frontal cortex. So emotional regulation is still difficult and it just feels like not a lot of people talk about that or not a lot of people that I see anyways. And I don't know, this is like the only space where I feel like I can talk about it. I guess I just really struggle with this idea of perfectionism. Part of the reason I haven't really been posting is because I feel like everything needs to be perfect before I'm able to enjoy myself. Even though that's not really true and that's what OCD is. It's like trying to fit or do a certain compulsion until you feel like you've done it enough to do what you meant to do. And yeah, it just can be really difficult sometimes to resist because that's how you fight against it. It's like resisting. But it can be really difficult. I know this is probably obvious right now, but this is going to be kind of like a rant. There's really nothing planned. I'm just kind of like talking to get some of my thoughts out and just like, you know, express that you're not alone. And I guess I've been also suffering a lot with burnout more than I want to admit. I talk about this in my posts, but I really love school and I never really got burnt out from school because I always enjoyed it. But now that I'm doing something a lot of people probably experience in school is that they're doing something they don't like and I don't want to say that I don't like my 9 to 5. I love the actual job itself. I love how it's in the legal field. I love the type of work that my boss does. He is a really good boss. I talk about this too in my blog post. He's a really nice guy and he deserves everything that he has and more and I support it through and through. But it can be really draining and it's just a difficult space to be in sometimes when you already have hypersensitivity to other people's emotions. But, you know, I'm trying my best and I kind of wanted to talk about that too. That like, as long as you're trying your best, that's all that matters. And I forget that, you know, I live completely on my own. I pay all my own bills. I pay for also mostly a lot of my partner's bills, which I love him and I would do in a heartbeat. But it can just get really stressful being like the sole breadwinner and then also dealing with like perfectionism at the same time. It's like, it's a lot of pressure for someone who is dealing with that obsession with being perfect. And it sucks because I feel like part of it has to do with like how I was raised and like the type of school I went to in terms of like it having a certain demographic, not fitting that demographic and I've talked about it in the past. It's like not the best space for people of color. But anyways, yeah, I just wanted to share some of my thoughts and just like, I don't know, I guess it's also really sad being burnt out in a corporate setting because it's like corporate America is already so draining that already being drained before you go in, it's just, it can be difficult. But I just wanted to make this post to make people aware that they're not alone if they're feeling this burnout and everything's going to be okay. I promise. And if you need to take a break, take that break. You deserve it. And for me, a break is this blog and I really love the internet for that reason. You can like create anything you want and like create your own way to get out of your situations through like things like a blog to express your thoughts or like a YouTube channel to get your creative energy out there. But yeah, I love this blog. I love this space. I just wanted to like connect with you guys and check in with everyone and make sure you guys all know that everything's going to be okay and you're valid. And I know it's going to be really scary, but I promise you're not alone. But yeah, this blog post is already like really long writing wise, so I'm going to wrap it up here. I hope everyone has a beautiful day, night. Stay safe. Yeah. Besitos. Good night, guys.