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Renee De Villa

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AuthorRenee De Villa

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Uploaded1 Feb 2024

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The transcription is a conversation between two friends discussing a podcast episode and the writer's work. They talk about a poem called "Expectations of a Dead Flower" and how it explores the theme of unrequited love. They also discuss the writer's use of writing as an outlet for emotions and the healing process. The conversation then shifts to another piece of writing called "The Wanderer," which uses streetlights as a metaphor for memories and experiences. The friends express appreciation for the writer's work and discuss the inspiration behind it. I'm going to do the introduction. Is it recording right now? Yes. Oh, sweet. Okay. And then I need to pull up the thing. Where do I go again? Hold on. Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Davila Diaries podcast. I am your host, Renee Davila, and I am here with... Paige Bohorquez. Paige here is a writer and one of my very best friends. Lovely neighbor. Okay, and here we are today. Oh, shit, I forgot to do the introduction. I did it wrong. Wait, let me redo it. It's okay. Okay. Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Davila Diaries podcast, the all-out platform for artists of all mediums. I am Renee Davila, your host, and I am here with Paige... Bohorquez. ...Bohorquez, one of my very best friends, and a writer. Her latest feature in scene issue number one was Expectations of a Dead Flower, and she's here to talk a little bit about it today. Yes, sir. I'm going to start you off with reading it for the ones who didn't get the chance to hear it. No one got to hear it. All right. For the people who don't know, for the people who haven't heard, this is Expectations of a Dead Flower. Loving you was my ceiling. For a period of time, I was comfortable in the room you put me in, never wanting to move, comfortable in the bed of lies and manipulation. Looking out the window you painted with your deception, it was also clear like the vase I kept filling with flowers, hoping for them to grow. But with the stems cut, no soil and no sun, just like us, we were doomed from the start. Damn. Yeah, damn. I love that poem. I love that poem. I love that poem. That poem is... That shit does, yes. ...very personal and deep level, but... Talk. ...tell us a little about it. A little bit about my poem is just being so in love with somebody that doesn't love you the way you want to be loved back and continuously trying to love them harder to get them to love you like that, even though loving hard is not going to make someone actually want to treat you right. Yeah. It's just a bunch of... It's very personal. Yeah, it was a very personal situation, being in love, losing yourself, finding yourself at the end of it, but... Yeah. I mean, we all know. We went through it. Yeah. But you know what? I know that a lot of people resonate with that poem and I've talked to people about it, like, in person. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, shit. I brought it to work. Oh. I brought it to work and then I talked about it. Oh, wait, at Urban? At Free People. Oh, shit. Yeah. But it is a poem that resonates with a lot of people, so I know that people appreciate your writing and I hope... I appreciate y'all. I hope you continue to publish with us and more of your work. Always. And is there an issue number two coming up? A number two? Oh, I actually have one that I wrote in the notebook that Nay has bought me. Oh, my God. The beautiful notes. The beautiful notes, just plain and simple. Yeah. Right here, right here. I wrote about them. You wrote about who? About my best friends, about Sabrina, about Rene DeVilla. Rene DeVilla. About everyone in my life that has made me to who I am today. Stars... The stars that make night a little bit brighter. Stars I didn't see before are now some of the brightest. Can't be upset... Can't be upset of the stars that are gone or dimming, but grateful that they shined when they did. No matter how individually beautiful each of them were and are, my path is still bright and I am forever grateful for each star throughout my path. I love you so much. I love y'all. I love y'all. Y'all honestly influence me and make me want to be a better self. I was yesterday. And y'all always bring a smile to my face. I'm forever grateful for everything that you guys have done for me. Forever and always. I was on the floor writing that before y'all picked me up. I mean, y'all is, and Rene. So, how do you think that writing has helped you throughout life? Or how do you use it as an outlet? I use it to put my emotions on something, besides people who do not deserve it. It has helped me express myself without actually expressing myself to people. Even if there's some stuff that I don't show people, there's some stuff that I do. It's definitely helped me get out all the emotions that I want to get out without actually putting it on someone else. I don't like doing that to people. I know. I feel you there. I'm definitely the type of person to keep things in. And I self-compartmentalize. So, all my thoughts go to paper. Yup. That's the best way. But, you know, sometimes I do show up at 12.30 to talk it out. With a name. With a name. I gotta talk it out. Can't leave room. We can't laugh together, but herself, we're alone. That is never it. Oh, but you can talk it out. I'm different. I'm different. It's not okay. Just pull up. I got you. I don't know. Yeah, so. You got a little off track. A little off track. There's the car talks all the time. But, I know. Too good. What can we expect to be seeing more of in your writing? Is it more of like healing? Are you still in your healing stage? Oh, I'm kind of all over the place, to be honest. I still feel days where it's just like it's the same. There's days where I feel like ten times better than I was when it first happened. And, when I think about it, it is definitely kind of a mixture of both. Because, you know, some days you do take a step back, and other days you're like three steps forward. So, that's part of growth. That reminded me of Olivia Rodrigo. Hey, yo. Hello. Yo. Too good. Okay. Well, we also released another piece of your writing a couple weeks back. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. On the IG. Y'all should check it out. Yeah. At the Davila Diaries. At the Davila Diaries, right there. I think it's like Blinding Lights or something. I don't think it's Blinding Lights. It's not Blinding Lights. It's like about like… Oh, Streetlight. It's like Streetlight. Remember Traveler? Oh, A Wanderer. The Wanderer. Oh, okay. The Wanderer. The Wanderer. Okay. The Wanderer. We also released The Wanderer. Can you tell us a little more about that? A little more about that? Should I read it for them? Yeah. Should I? Okay. For those of you who did not get to see the poster. Exactly. Yes, this one's a little lengthy one. Would you call this a poem or just a writing entry? I would say there's a… I would say more of a writing entry than a poem. I mean, I feel like a lot of things can be perceived as a poem differently. But I feel more of like a writing entry. Okay. There is metaphors. If you want to know, there is some in here. Each streetlight shines a bit differently. Some broken, flickering, glowing, and or blinding. Each one seen on different streets. On a freeway, uphill, downhill, out of town, out of view. They're always there, whether it be near or far. But I'm not sitting in my car. Bruh. Say his name. A dimension? No, no, not say his name. I said say his name. Should I restart? Yeah. I thought it was for the cam. All right. Let's retry that one. I'm drooling, bruh. All right. The Wanderer. Each streetlight shines a bit differently. Some broken, flickering, glowing, and or blinding. Each one seen on different streets. On the freeway, uphill, downhill, out of town, out of view. They're always there, whether it be near or far. But I'm not sitting in my car. A dimension within my skull. As many memories there are lights. Some I look at them with the beauty of the sunset behind. Others with the elegance of the moon shining on them. And a couple with the cold, dark, rainy night. Overall, my appreciation of the experience and the people within. The memories grieving the bright memories. Oh, I definitely could have wrote that better. What is it? Should I restart now? No, it's fine. Was that bad? No. How far are you? I have like three more lines. Alright, alright, alright. Alright, for real, I'm staying out of business. Don't look at me. Okay, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. This is called The Wanderer. Each streetlight shines a bit differently. Some broken, flickering, glowing, and or... Alright, bro. I think so. I could look at the screen and something just went off. Oh yeah, it has my octaves on the screen of my octaves mod. Okay. Now my octave. Hello? Can you hear me better now? Okay, wait. Did you save the last one? Or did you just add it on? Okay, alright. This is called The Wanderer. Okay, hold on. This is called The Wanderer. Each streetlight shines a bit differently. Some broken, flickering, glowing, and or blinding. Each one seen on a different street. On the freeway. Uphill. Downhill. Out of town. Out of view. They're always there, whether it be near or far. But I'm not sitting in my car. A dimension within my skull has many memories. There are lights. Some I look at them with the beauty of the sunset behind. Others with the elegance of the moon shining on them. And a couple with the cold, dark, rainy night. Overall, my appreciation of the experience and the people within the memories. Grieving the bright memories of people that aren't here now. With the brightness of the moon shining down on them. There are so many memories, but there is so much to dream of. You are free to roam. I just love your writing. Thank you. I think it's very beautifully, eloquently. Exquisite. Exquisite. Yeah. Can you tell us a little bit about your inspiration behind that? That one, I mean, there's a little bit of a streetcar by Daniel Caesar in there. That gave me some inspiration. And it's just like driving down each street, you know, seeing all these lights everywhere. Kind of just reminds me how many memories you can have inside your head. And just that, like, their memories, they're always going to be there. Even despite the fact that some of the people in the memories aren't there. You just enjoy those memories that you have with them and keep going. And there's always more memories to be made. There are always more memories to be made. Just because you're missing one of those memories doesn't mean if you get that memory back, or that person back, doesn't mean it's going to be the same. It's just all a feeling. Oh my god, this is amazing. Thank you. I'm like... Thank you. I speak easy. I know. I speak easy. Wait. Is this my poetry class? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So, do you think that, like, speaking of Daniel Caesar, do you think that artists such as singers or, like, other poets inspire your writing? Or do you think that the writing just comes to you? Oh, definitely on, like, some. Like, I'll be in the moment, I'll listen to a song, and then it just kind of gives me, it strikes an idea inside my head. And it just, I trot it down. And other times it just comes to me, despite, like, what I'm listening to. Like, I'll be listening to, like, freaking Mike Sherman, and then I'll get some, like, inspirational stuff about something sad. I don't know. It's just my brain works in many different ways. Okay. Do you, who, like, do you have someone specifically, like, Mike Sherman? No, no, no. Like, do you have someone who specifically inspires you, or it's just, like, all around? I mean, all around. Like, culture? Culture, for sure. But, like, I think Daniel Caesar and Frank Ocean definitely have some, a majority of inspiration. I don't know about majority. There's definitely, they influence me a lot. Because their songs, their lyrical is a very, very touching. Very quiet. Yes, very. It's just how they form and where these emotions or their feelings, it inspires me to write down more. Yeah. Yeah. We gotta love Frank. We gotta love Frank. We're in the studio, Frank's in the studio. In the studio, yeah. But he ain't dropping nothing, which I'm a little. I know. Give us that album, bro. Give us that album. Or even a song. One song, Frank. He dropped a snippet and then left. And then disappeared from the earth. Yeah. Just like somebody used to know. Like, you know that song? Drop that one song and dip. Such a good song. Very good song. Would you say that you see yourself writing a lot more this upcoming year? Yes, I would say I would. I definitely. Are you going to redo that? Yeah. Would you say that you see yourself writing more this upcoming year? Yes, I would. I would. I am. I feel like this year is going to be a year for growth, for inspiration, for many more memories, many more. What? Downhills? Ups and downs. I mean, that's part of life. You don't want to be flatlined. Yeah. Damn. You don't want to be flatlined. I was kidding. I don't make a reel from that. But. If only I had that magazine right here. Okay, we got this. This is my lovely team. This is that beautiful team. We got that Doug. Doug. We're missing Andrew. Don't do that. What? I didn't do nothing. I'm red. You keep getting red. Doug. We're missing Andrew. My other photographer from here. A very beautiful band. Is that my auntie? Yeah. Looks like Angela. She does. They must be twins. I'm in the same math class. Oh, yeah. I made that realization. I'm like, damn. We're all very similar. Yeah. Good people, though. Good people. Yeah. Good people. What else can we talk about? Okay. Have you read anything recently that you found really struck you? No. What about the book? There was this reading. Oh. There was this one book that Nate showed me. It was by Whitney Hanson. Whitney Hanson. She's actually going to let me borrow it for a little bit. I read a couple poems in it. It's called Harmony. It's called Harmony, which I would love to be with. Be at, if that makes sense. In harmony with my life. Yeah. Okay. That makes more sense. That makes more sense. What part of it? I read the full book. Very beautifully written. She essentially goes through the stages of grief of losing her best friend through comparison of the harmony of music and how there's the melodies and like, I don't know. The melody. The melody and like the down. The melody, just how like a piano can make you, yeah, how a song can make you feel the ups and downs. The highs and lows. Yeah, I feel that. She does it like very beautifully. And even if it's not the loss of a friendship necessarily, it's definitely a book about feeling, going through the stages of grief and loss with someone that you really care about and then healing from that. So do you think that's something you're going to like parallel? Yeah. Oh, 100%. I lost one of my best friends of like five years. I think a year or two years ago. Yeah. Okay. Honestly. I mean, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. 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