The Red Words by Leslie T: Episode 22 - Divorce

The podcast discusses divorce and what the Bible says about it. It mentions statistics related to marriage and divorce, such as the high percentage of born again Christians who have been married. The Bible teaches that divorce is only permissible in cases of sexual immorality or desertion by an unbelieving spouse. Divorce has negative consequences, such as breaking up the family and causing challenges for all involved. The podcast also provides advice on how to have a successful marriage, such as marrying the right person and being equally yoked. It emphasizes the importance of forgiveness, humility, patience, communication, compassion, kindness, and generosity in a marriage. The podcast also talks about the roles and responsibilities of husbands and wives, including the need for respect and love. It encourages couples to love each other deeply and to prioritize their marriage above all else. The podcast concludes by highlighting the enduring power of love and the importance of faith, Welcome to the Red Words, where we read about the living word and learn how the word can live through us. It has been said, anyone who divorces his wife must give a certificate of divorce, but I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife except for sexual immorality makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. That's Matthew chapter 5 verses 31 and 32. Today we talk about divorce and what God's word says about it, but first let's look at some statistics. Now I had planned on giving a bunch of statistics, however I saw a lot of conflicting data. So here are some statistics that I actually found to be rather consistent. According to a Barna study, 84% of born again Christians have been married compared to 74% of people who identify with non-Christian faiths, and 65% of atheists and agnostics. However other studies have found that that Christian category may include people who identify as Christian but don't live a committed lifestyle. Also the number one reason for divorce is a lack of commitment. Now the Bible teaches us that Jesus doesn't want his followers to get divorced except in cases of sexual immorality or desertion by an unbelieving spouse. First Corinthians chapter 7 also forbids divorce and states that spouses who have deserted their partner should return to them or remain chaste if that's not possible. Divorce breaks apart the family and causes a new set of challenges for all parties involved. Imagine cutting everything you own in half and giving half of it to someone else. Some things are just not good after that cut, and the things that are still okay are often in need of repair. Children will not be able to see both parents as they freely did in the past. Each separate household will essentially fend for themselves instead of combining resources. Extended family members may have grown attached to the ex-spouse and may not be able to have that relationship anymore, or at the very least at a different capacity. Friends may be forced by one party to pick a side. Sometimes the man may have to basically support two households, one where he resides plus the other where the children reside most of the time. You've already heard that the leading cause for divorce is lack of commitment, and the word of God clearly states that sexual immorality and desertion by an unbelieving spouse are the only legitimate reasons for divorce. The Bible also gives us instruction that will help you stay married. The first step towards staying married is marrying the right person in the first place, and the first step towards doing that is being equally yoked. Second Corinthians 6.14 reads, Do not be yoked together with unbelievers, for what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? And what happens is whenever a Christian marries a non-Christian, their values are at odds, and the whole idea of being yoked is, let's say there's a farm animal and they put a yoke around their neck, and then they pair it with another animal, and they're supposed to share the load of work. Imagine if you had one horse going east, and then you had another horse in the same yoke going west. They would constantly be at odds, and they wouldn't really go anywhere. Or maybe the stronger horse may drag the weaker horse, but it's not going to be pleasant for either horse. Now here are a few attributes that a good spouse might have. They'd be forgiving, showing forgiveness when your spouse reveals faults can prevent bitterness and resentment from taking root in your marriage. Having humility, humility can show your spouse that you are willing to bear with them and love, and that you are willing to sacrifice for them. Patience, patience can help keep the peace and maintain a happy marriage. Communication, it is important to learn to share your concerns and joys with your spouse. Compassion, kindness and compassion are vital to the health of a marriage relationship. Generosity, honesty and gentleness. Next, also Proverbs 18 verse 22 reads, he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. For you men, if you're looking for a good wife, she should already be behaving like a good wife. In addition to that, it is most important that you ask God to give you a wife. In fact, if that was the only qualification that you had for your spouse, you couldn't go wrong. And women, how do you find a good husband? Well, first you act like a wife. Next, you ask God to show you who the husband is that he has for you. And here's what the Bible says about husbands and wives. In 1 Peter chapter 3 verses 5 and 6, it says, for this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her Lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. Likewise, husbands, live with your lives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. Now the Bible also gives instruction to what you're supposed to do once you get married. In Matthew chapter 19 verse 5, it reads, and he, he being Jesus, said, for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate. The key points to this, leave your mother and father, though they are still family, you and your wife are your family now. You cannot let your parents or your brothers or your sisters supersede the needs of your household. You're one flesh. You should aspire to have the same thing. And when you don't, that causes a rift in the relationship. If you don't know what is best, then you should both pray and fast. And if there's still no agreement, go with the husband. Not because it's the macho thing to do, not because he's the strongest or the smartest, but because he is supposed to be the authority and the responsibility belongs to him. If he makes the wrong decision, he will ultimately pay the price for the mistake. And because he is supposed to love his wife, like he loves himself, he should be taking her best interest into consideration. Also, Ephesians chapter 5, verse 28 to 33 reads that men should love their wives as they love themselves, and wives should respect their husbands. If a woman does not respect her husband, the marriage is halfway over. A man needs that respect. When he does not feel respected, he will be tempted to find that respect in other places and potentially avoid his spouse or even the entire household. They will throw themselves into work. They might throw themselves into church if they have a position of authority there. Now helping more at church sounds like a good thing, but charity starts at the home, according to 1 Timothy chapter 6, verse 18. And it doesn't take much of an imagination to see what other places a husband might go to find respect when he doesn't get that respect at home, especially considering the subject of our last episode. But that respect is also good for the wife to have for her husband. If she doesn't respect her husband, she will be unable to love her husband properly. She will rarely hug and kiss him. She will give him foul looks when he asks her to do anything. She may not cook for him. She may not spend time with him. She may not openly do anything that bad. But I promise you that a man that is used to that respect but no longer has it will be able to tell the difference and yearn for that from his wife. Women, now I understand that men can do things that may lose some respect from you. But try to focus on all the things he does that deserve your respect. And if he doesn't do much of that, pray for him. Husbands by no means are off the hook. As a matter of fact, they're held to a higher standard. Ephesians chapter 5, verse 21 reads, Husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the church and make every effort for their spouse's good. How much did Jesus love the church? Well, I thought it was odd that Jesus did not specifically mention desertion as a valid reason for divorce in Matthew 5. That's because we should aspire to be like him. And Jeremiah 3 reads, Turn, O backsliding children, saith the Lord, for I am married unto you, and I will take you, one, of a city, and two, of a family, and I will bring you to Zion, and I will give you pastors according to mine heart, which shall feed you with knowledge and understanding. See, Jesus is married to the backslider. And guess who the pastor of the church is in your house? If you are in the right position, it's you. Husbands and wives, above all, love each other deeply because love covers a multitude of sins. First Corinthians chapter 13, verse 4 reads, Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast. It is not proud. It does not dishonor others. It is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease. Where there are tongues, they will be stilled. Where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child. I thought like a child. I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror. Then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part, then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain, faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love. Thank you for listening to my podcast. If you liked this podcast, please follow The Red Words by Leslie G. God bless and take care. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.