GROWING AND LIVING TOGETHER BY PASTOR KOLAWOLE ADEBOYE

The speaker discusses the biblical reasons for marriage. They mention that marriage solves the problem of loneliness and that both men and women have weaknesses and limitations that can be balanced through marriage. They also talk about the importance of avoiding fornication and the benefits of having children within marriage. The speaker emphasizes the importance of one man and one woman in a marriage, the need for companionship and openness, and the dangers of hiding secrets. They share a cautionary story about a couple where the wife hid important information, leading to the dissolution of their marriage. The speaker concludes by highlighting the importance of obedience to God's guidelines for a successful marriage. as soon as he got married he became the house became a war zone no no no no no but i strongly believe as i said before again and again every marriage can work say that's your neighbor every money can work amen the lord will bless us in the name of jesus say god will bless us in the name of jesus god will bless you and i in the name of jesus christ so let's look at more briefly within the time i have what are the biblical reasons for marriage that can help us to live together in love and in perversion number one to solve the problem of loneliness god said it's not good for the man to be alone so god brings us into marriage that the issue of loneliness will be solved genesis 2 18 and the lord god said it's not good that a man should be alone i will make him and help meet for him that tells you if it is not good for the man to be alone that means the man who is who is not meant to be alone as a level of weakness the bible referring to the woman in scripture says to the man dwell with her as a weaker vessel so the woman is referred to as a weaker vessel then the man is a weak vessel so in marriage a weak man marries a weaker woman and that means both of them lack strength in some areas that is why you find that in marriage opposite is what attracts there are limitations in the man there are limits on the woman and there are maturity in the man there are maturity in the woman so you have both sides that is why you need god at the center who is the source of all strength to strengthen the weakness of the man and the weakness of the woman so that the maturity of the man plus the weak plus the strength of god the maturity of the woman plus the strength of god make the marriage to be balanced i pray for you this morning that god will bring you into this in the name of jesus can your amen be better than that can your amen be better than that can your amen be better than that number two to avoid fornication first corinthians 7 verse 1 and 2 now concerning the things whereof you wrote unto me which is good for a man not to touch a woman nevertheless to avoid fornication let every man have his own wife and let every woman there is anointing to me there are things i don't think i know so it's to solve it for me there are things in our life that i don't think so there are solutions of life that god has put both the man and the woman that it takes them in your life to be able to have it pray from now till eternity it can come it can come babu says see the man even he said when you find the wife you find a good thing number two you will pay favor so there are good things some man can never have until they marry their wife and there are favors they can never enjoy until they marry their own wife babu said the man is the head there is a level of promotions no woman can reach except you have a man on your head never you can never have it so there is a godhead of promotions when the babu is saying she'll be the head another thing one of the things of entering to that kind of headship is to marry have your own husband then promotion to be sure promotion to be sure when we got married i was also a crm coordinator but as god promoted me was promoting my wife when the mission was promoting it is me they were promoting but my wife promoted her so my promotion is a promotion and may i shock you the mission is he a man who has a wife who has a wife who is godly who has a wife who is friendly who has a wife who is wonderful so the good thing in our life he did my promotion are you listening to me husbands listen there are qualifications in your wife's life that if you don't allow it to come out you can't go beyond the level you are wife listen if you don't submit to your own husband as well there are things god wants to do in you your own goodness and people can't show can't show so god allowed that let me turn this way to allow for check and balance so that we can be balanced in the way we manage our woman our life to have children of the screwed genesis 126 to 28 talks about um increasing and populating and having the rest so when children enter into the world outside the medium of marriage they are handicapped and often turn out to be delinquent but not and it's possible to be married and not have the biological children it does not cancel the authenticity of your marriage it doesn't it doesn't so the god type of marriage is one man one woman genesis 222 and in marriage is where you achieve living and cleaving so there are a bit four to five four pattern that god expect that every marriage will have number one one man one woman not one man and another man not one woman and another woman that is demonic devilish what god plans his scripture is one man one woman a single man to a single woman not one man two women no one man one wife amen number two living and cleaving genesis 224 therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave unto his own wife and they shall be one flesh amen and there are four ways of cleaving together number one i do not support coming out of the country and leaving your spouse behind never all those who are married who are here who have traveled have come to tell me sorry just with me god has done it i have a visa i say praise god is your partner going with you it's the next question i will ask if you say no i will tell you you have not done well because even the couple who are staying together face temptation how much more the one who now leaves nigeria goes to canada go to usb is right in another country and you are separated for several years how do you undo the issue of temptation how do you balance off the issue of trust so the scripture says let nothing put asunder number one don't let location put asunder number two don't let economic and financial issues put asunder number three don't let influence of friends put asunder and families and parents and don't let opposite sex put asunder those four things must not be allowed in your marriage must not be allowed in your marriage and then issue of companionship and then openness your spouse must know all about you in order to avoid surprises unpleasant surprises even if you have had a child out of wedlock let your spouse know if she can't if he or she cannot undo your errors or your mistakes of the past he can't handle you of the future he can't handle you so you don't need to hide besides whatever you think you're is not it's not a secret somebody somewhere knows and one day the thing will come out when the thing will come out so let there be no hiding to hide your age because you must marry that brother you went to oak one change your birth certificate the lady did that because after they got married the young man got to know that the lady lied lied about her age lied about her certificate lied about her health status she never had ond she said she had a degree she was older than the young man she said she was younger and of course you know you can get any certificate today from lady she was hiv positive she didn't tell the young man so at some point allah told me to teach on some basic truths so i self on it when they came another time i was to go to another topic the only thing he said go back to the formal topic i obeyed the third time i was a sixth of the time i was a seventh of the time i was a eighth of the time i was a ninth of the time i was a tenth of the time i was a tenth of the time i was a tenth of the time i was a tenth of the time i was a tenth of the time i was a tenth of the time i obeyed the third time i was a six or not the only thing he said go back to what you told so i found myself in about four different sessions repeating the same topic hello thank god you know your pastor i will obey the holy spirit i will obey and then the only thing began to break some things open by the time she would open up to the young man they had gone to marry pay the bride price they shifted their church service about a month to the engagement and i told them no that until you do your church wedding that is when your wedding is legal if you are not doing church wedding your traditional and registry legalizes it but if church wedding is involved then until you are joined together in only matrimony that is when your wedding is legalized and that's when you can move into each other's house as he returned from the engagement she moved into his house and told the young man never to tell me well nothing is eating hello the secret came out and the secret came out about a week to their church wedding so i canceled the church wedding and i told the the person in charge of the certificate to tell the certificate because on wedding day we joined two people together not three not three and then somehow after the wedding all that secret came out the young guy came to my house and was crying daddy she lied about her certificate she never had any certificate she said she's a degree holder she lied about her age you know she's almost like eight years or ten years older than me she lied that i'm older than her daddy do you also know that she's hiv positive despite the truth being out the lady rather than being sober began to fight this guy for opening up to me it's a painful story i don't love to share it why because the lady died for hiding himself god justified the young man and dealt with her six months after the wedding she died and when the young man went by to go and do another hiv test he was negative don't because i must marry i must marry i must marry i must marry kill yourself before your time but when you allow yourself to follow god's guidelines the obedience of the scripture i've told you when you obey god's word you are super abundantly blessed obedience is your key all-round key in working in all-round abundance obedience it works more than prayer points but more than prayer points on what basis what god did god validate abraham obedience on what basis did god validate job obedience on what basis did god talk from heaven about jesus christ his son obedience obedience obedience i pray this morning that the willingness for each one of us to truly and completely always submit to god in all things the lord give to you in the name of jesus say better amen say better amen so when you are open that is when you achieve genesis 2 verse 21 that says naked but not ashamed if you are not open you cannot be trusted openness is the key to trust in marriage openness is the key to trust in marriage between me and my wife nothing is hidden when we were courting everything was unveiled everything was unveiled i was in a formal relationship for five years she knew when she's broke she knew i knew about her own formal relationship everything was open so there was there is nothing to hide your heart is light but once you're hiding something hiding that every day you leave it in fear and there are four ways to be naked historically past relationship financially debt income asset obligations physically naked at home and sexual sexual liability sexual liberty let your wife your spouse know your sexual orientation spiritually aspirations in future personal sins if there are there then sex and reproduction these are four dimensions you need to understand now singles can i speak to you you have open asked one of the fundamental questions singles advice is that can i have can i ask god for a specific person to marry can i ask god for a specific person to ever marry the bible says in psalm 37 verse 4 psalm 37 verse number 4 delight yourself in the lord and he will give you the desires of your heart god honors our desires when you delight yourself in the lord your desires have planned life so when you are saying the scripture says the lord will grant the desires of the righteous stop removing the word righteous out of that point so who is the righteous a fellow that delights himself in the lord that means he aligns his desires along the will of god your desires must align with the will of god when your desires align with the will of god god will grant it can i still have god's will in marriage after disobedience in rejecting god's will before of course yes if you truly repent so take note of these following five truths at which i had time to be able to say more what are some of the lies that god tells some of our singles which they hold on to number one there is no need to fast and pray it is not working anyway i fasted before and this fellow came and said god saves the lord and i agreed did you check don't let anybody just come and bamboozle you the fellow came carry bible that is as big as a dictionary other day just says the lord you are my wife how do you know i saw myself climbing tree of mango and the tree was high so i was plugging the mango plugging the mango falling to the ground and breaking suddenly a lady appeared with a basket in her hand and she began to catch it like a football goalkeeper i was putting them in the mango so none of the mango got broken and then had the lord say for the mangoes not to have broken your life cannot break in a hand seek god validate even if any pastor tells you but the language is good for you marry him don't accept i don't match make never because i won't live in the marriage with you if god does not speak to you don't accept what i tell you whatever i tell you must be secondary confirmation what god tells you must be primary confirmation because you have to because in marriage you will be faced daily with the fact that you made a choice and your personal choice lies on your conviction the enabling grace to forbear to stand to forgive lies on the fact that the lord spoke to me when god made eve when god made eve i need a couple please bro i dare you come your wife is closer please come come come run run run come to the altar come you come to that side be looking at each other as you are coming come here stay here you didn't wait for me to tell you where to stay when god said it's not good for him to be alone the next thing was that god put him to sleep remember in essence a play a state of him to take his eyes away from his environment and concentrate on the god who said it's not good for him to be alone and then god went took a rib and came and made the bone of his of his bone and the flesh of his flesh now read your bible read your bible the bible says he brought her to him god didn't talk but he did the creating and the bringing so as he behold god standing in the middle he saw and then he now opened his mouth and said what this is the bone of the bone come on say it now was that how you propose to her when you come propose to her when he came was the flower as beautiful as this or he did like me it was on the road i proposed to my wife it was very urgent so i didn't delay it so what did man say what did i say when god brought her to him he said here is the bone of my bone and the flesh of my flesh she shall be called woman and in before that time god brought animals to him and the scripture says the whatever he called them that is what they became so god allowed him again to call her what he will be seen her to be for the rest of his life and you can never have a picture a perfect picture of your spouse except in god that's why some people after marriage will see the woman i say you are a devil and they will call the fellow devil and no wonder what manifestation do they see in the room devilish manifestation you look at the man i said the man is another negative name and what will she be seen because whatever you call each other is what you will experience from each other drop my flower and go back to your seat please go back to your seat amen let's appreciate that let's appreciate that so the devil tells you you can't find a partner in god is lying to you never believe it like number two that you're going to die an old maid or an old lady an old bachelor because you're of age the bible says since i'm 37 verse 25 i have been young and now i'm old yet i have not seen the righteous forsaken you may be above 40 god will choose your partner for you the lady gave a testimony i think this last legal service or the one before she's over 50 and god chose for her i have seen that i have daughters who are married and who married when they were over 40 over 45 i can point to those who married even above 50 yes they found the bone of their bone and the flesh of their flesh the woman pastor wf kumuyi married after his first wife died she was a virgin at that age of 60 plus so there is no daughter of zion that is forsaken no no none at all none at all i pray for each one of us this morning that the lord god almighty will guide you in the name of jesus your amen can be better than that your amen can be better than that your amen can be better than that now if you are coughing mind these two truths there are many more i'll share them some other time that's number one even in your courtship the leading of the holy ghost must continue many rely on god when it's time to choose after choosing they rely on themselves they shift away they stop trusting in god they begin to do everything in carnality it shouldn't be it shouldn't be it shouldn't be it shouldn't be and you must realize that as you begin to cut and you must realize that as you begin to cut some things must be in place what do you discuss what do you plan courtship is not a time to only visit mr big sister beast no those are not fundamental things that are needed in courtship courtship period is to communicate and get to understand who you are who she is create time to pray create time to study gospel together create time to plan create time to know him or her what kind of a person is he what are his strengths what are his visions what are our visions what is she what does she what does she want to aspire to in life if you are cutting and when you ask your partner what are your your your what is your purpose in life and he says your purpose is my purpose what are your visions your vision is my vision what are your dream your dream is my dream so that means your sleep is my sleep and if i was going to say higher on the mountain or you are getting married to a young man who tells you that all about married to him is who he is who he is that you have to kill your your profession kill your desires kill this kill your certificate kill everything then you know that man is going to kill you because in marriage you are lying you do what you are lying you are lying you are lying i pray this morning that the lord will guide every one of us in the name of jesus and our amen be better than that and our amen be better than that can our amen be better than that can our amen be better than that the lord will stand by each one of us in the name of jesus and bring enlargement beyond expectations in all areas of our life in the name of jesus your amen can be better than that so as a single let me lead you in two three prayer points you must always concentrate upon you must trust god put in your regular prayers the power and the grace to overcome sexual immorality because you'll be tempted i think yesterday as i was looking over this message again and again i was reflecting on the number of times i would have fornicated and the amount of the number of ladies i would have impregnated as a wedlock when i was growing up i counted one two three four five six seven i'm not ugly now am i ugly am i not attractive and all these ladies i never ever said excuse me how are you they just came naturally every scene that is trying to come naturally around you fire of god burn them in jesus name and i remember that is either i ran bible says flee is that also my friend set me up on one no my friends set me up on one my sister set me up on another one friends set me up again another friend i was in primary school friends set me up when i was in secondary school friends set me up after i said my other sister set me up when i was in the polytechnic college set me up but for every setup god provided a way of escape why fornication was not in my intention if it is in your intention the strength to even stand up and run out of the way god creates will not come will not come will not come i pray this morning that the lord will help you in the name of jesus number two pray that you always find joy every day psalm 118 verse number 24 pray that the lord will help you to trust in god each and every time and for the married what prayer should you pray some 51 that god create in us a pure heart towards each other if you are towards my spouse if you are to seek you first in everything that concerns my spouse that's for some 37 verse 3 and then some 1 verse 1 to 3 lord help us that we shall walk together in not in the steps of wickedness that in our journey in marriage we will not allow mockers we will not allow those who whose words would destroy our marriage there are three sets of people the book of psalm 1 says you must avoid do not sit with scoffers do not stand with this do not allow this and when you end up allow any of these people they ruin your marriage in life i have a standing policy i am either in church doing god's assignments or i am at home i have colleagues but i don't discuss with them beyond the assignment no no i have a father in the lord whom i discussed my marital issue because i have tested and approved the fellow that he will tell me the truth always the lord will help us in the name of jesus and you also need to pray that god will make you strong together joshua 1 verse 9 have i not commanded you be strong and courageous do not be afraid do not be discouraged for the lord your god will be with you wherever you go you need to be strong together there are times a man will be weak the strength of the wife will carry him there are times the woman will be with the strength of the husband will carry him but when you are both weak then we will carry you there have been days that i was strong and i needed to minister it was the strength of god through my wife that carried me to this altar to preach and as soon as i stepped down and i got back home she knew she must immediately attend to me but many of you don't know but because i know that i have a wife who is strong when i am she is strong i know that her strength is available for me there was one time i was close to this i had a ministration somewhere in agbor had a ministration somewhere in agbor and i needed to be there and i had this pain in my stomach i was waiting to go for surgery i had i nailed the stomach my stomach was on the inside was open so for months in a while my intestine will run into that open wall and then i will have excruciating at times i walk bended and then to go to ministration in agbor the province headquarters are there so she was praying for me a young man was with me a son in the lord who knew what i was going through so from home to the place it was in pain we got down he said daddy will you be able to miss that god will help me so when it was time to minister as i mounted the puppet was supposed to undo the system to project for me he came to stand here like this they thought he was protocoling me they didn't know the guy knew what he was doing i know the state of the health of my pastor my wife was praying at home he was standing with me and she was in contact with him in my alpha how is daddy doing he said he's fine he has started ministering now how is he doing god is helping him and as i took the microphone strength came i didn't feel any pain again stood for over five hours and as i dropped the microphone yeah the pain came back i managed to stand up to live where people were as i got to where there was nobody was he helped me immediately i will run back to the hotel amen if you don't marry your own partner when your season of pain come that fellow may be praying that you should die there are wives praying for their husband to die there are also praying for their wife to die may that not be your portion in jesus name please rise on your feet this morning rise your feet this morning and lift up your hands to god and talk to god lord god almighty help me help me that i will walk in your understanding in your counsel for my marriage to stand i will walk in your purpose for my marriage to stand i will walk in your truth lord god almighty for my marriage to not in any way i'm going through any challenges help me to imbibe the truth that will make my marriage work help me to imbibe the truth that will make my marriage work singles i like you to pray are you working in any wrong relationships as a lot to bring you out of it are you trusting god for who to marry can you say lord god almighty i delight in you i put my delight in you i put my delight in you are you already in the relationship and since i'm not going as expected can you subject it to god's god's mirror of his world and scrutiny did god lead you into it is it a relationship of unusual pain and battling and god has been telling you to step out of it but you have been disobedient can you ask god to have mercy upon you this moment that you will do the truth you walk in the truth talk to god talk to god talk to god lord help me help me to align my life align my thoughts align my desires with you in every way couples pray for yourself lord help us make us strong together let our thoughts align let our strength align help me to be strong for my spouse help me to support my spouse wives pray for your husband lord god almighty help me never to open my mouth to curse my husband husbands pray for your wife to be able to forbear with my wife that nothing she does will get me furiated to the point of cursing or abusing her both of you pray for yourself lord make us the best of the best mother for our children for our grandchildren that will be a model for them to copy from make us a guide and a light lord help us that through us the covenants upon our children will not be a big thing but will not be the one that will make them to lose out in the beauty and glory of life in the blessings of the almighty god are you going through issues in your home can you talk to god lord open myself to myself everything i have been doing wrong that is making this marriage not to be healthy not open my eyes i am ready to follow your truth are you trusting god to marry or to talk to or to to remarry after maybe the death of your spouse can you ask god to guide you not according to your flesh but according to spirit in the name of jesus ask for the designing of the holy ghost in being able to know who to marry mighty god i say thank you blessed and blessed be your holy name in jesus mighty name we are praying you're mature you're trusting god for who to marry you're here you are in a turbulent relationship you're scared of coming out of it you're here number three you have been jilted again and again and your heart is full of awesome pain if you belong to any of these three groups i'd like you to please come forward now i call them together because so i can push out you who you are you're trusting god for who to marry and your rage come you're here you have been jilted again and again and again it's as if you can never find a life partner than every relationship you ever find ends in pain come now don't be ashamed don't be ashamed you are in the presence of god come you are here you are engaged but you know you are engaged to trouble it has been pain upon pain upon pain manipulation upon manipulation you are crying daily you are crying daily you are just crying baby you are just crying daily that is the kind of life i'm going to walk into come now come now come now don't be ashamed don't be ashamed don't be ashamed don't be ashamed you're here you're trusting god for his intervention maybe in your own marriage or in the marriage of your children because they are married but it is war day and night come let's pray see how far you help me i'm so glad you found me is i'm so glad you found me i can't see i'd like you to stretch your hands forward i stretch my hands over this your sons and daughters and lord i decree on family issues that pertains to them that pertains to their children that pertains to their own personal life or the family that they're standing in for for their own personal life lord god almighty they are in your presence they are before your altar lord i decree this very they are before your altar lord i decree this very moment take away every pain in the name of jesus heal every heart in the name of jesus heal every heart in the name of jesus not every source of the pain lord god almighty you will explain in an unusual way this very moment in the name of jesus lord those who are crying can i still be married i have made several mistakes anybody has sent me packages lord you are the bearer you are the one that brings newness you are the one that can give a new wine and also change the skin to a new one lord i ask that you renew each one of those involved in the name of jesus not anyone disappointed again and again every yoke of continued disappointment concerning you to marry i command it broken in the name of jesus lord i ask of you that you will cast your upon them afresh and make them unusually new to be behold as a beauty over all other beauties in the name of jesus lord families will go through issues i decree this very moment lord everybody can work you at the end of every home lord i ask that you your place will be solved in all such homes in the name of jesus any man any woman married but who is the source of problem lord i decree that in an unusual way let them encounter you in the name of jesus and let your name alone be glorified lord that song is able to see how far you have helped me let it become let it come to be the song of testimony of all these your sons and daughters in the name of jesus thank you righteous father blessed be your holy name in jesus mighty name please go back to your seat i'm so glad you found me my name and we're going to be praying for them amen they are fully and beautifully decorated we will be praying for them after we are going to anoint all children and all students together amen praise god praise god this is uh the redemptive church of god the a new calendar year so we are having some of our children graduating from one class to the other so from the toddler class that's the age zero to three to lower junior age four to five lord if you are clapping you can do better for them blessing then the lower junior age four to five to upper junior age six to eight lower junior age four to five to upper junior we have then from upper junior age six to eight to preteen age age 9 to 12 age 9 to 12 oh then we are from preteen age 9 to 12 to teenagers class to teenager class that's age 13 we are preteen age 9 to 12 to teenagers class age to 13 then we have wonderful children let's give god praise for their life amen i hope all of you have um since i feel like they have their Sunday school manuals for their classes give me the bill for all of them i'll pay for it all their manuals all of them i'll pay for this amen come on give me a high five the spirit of the lord rest upon you in the name of jesus you will never be small in life you keep growing in grace in super abundant wisdom for you try increasing all dimensions in the name of jesus you will never be small in life in the name of jesus amen praise the lord brother i want to beg for one thing i want to beg you to support me so we can finish the building that is there there is a need for the children to be in their individual classes as expected my desire is to have a children church that runs as a school the ground floor is for all toddlers while the first floor is