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Provincial pastors and spouse retreat
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Provincial pastors and spouse retreat
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Provincial pastors and spouse retreat
The speaker is discussing the importance of husband and wife working together in leadership roles. They emphasize that in order to achieve excellence, spouses must support and communicate with each other. They also stress the need for planning and coordination to avoid conflicts and ensure unity. The speaker advises wives to understand their roles and not to compete with their husbands, but rather to focus on their own strengths and responsibilities. They also urge pastors to delegate tasks based on their wives' abilities and not to demand respect, but to earn it through their actions. The overall message is that collaboration and mutual respect are essential for successful leadership. Praise the Lord. Praise the living Jesus. Please let me sit down. Let me just say thank you to our pastor for the privilege I've given unto me. When my husband told me, I said, wow, what's my own in the retreat? I said, I must be here and I'm here, I thank God. We bless the Lord for all my husband has said. New wine for leadership excellence. A lot has been said about leadership, about excellence, about living. Living together, we are here as spouse, husband and wife. And if you don't want to deceive ourselves, we can't do it alone. You say you are the pastor, you are the one that God called or the authority asked you to take charge, then you know you need your wife. To get to that point of excellence, leading together, you will be willing to pay the price. You must rule out individualism. Don't say, oh, I'm the one in charge. My wife has no business. You are one, leading together. And in leading together, we should understand someone has to be in the forefront, pronounced than the other, husband and wife. So there is no need of wife rubbing shoulders with your husband. Hey, I'm a pastor. Hey, I'm this. No. This is spiritual. Like my husband said, theocracy. It is God. He is one in charge. By the value of being married to him, he will carry you along. You must understand that one. Don't rub shoulders on the other. It is my husband, what he's doing, you want to do. So aside that, you must plan things to be done together. If you want to lead together, plan together. Because I've seen pastors and their wives. When the pastor is calling for one thing, the wife is calling for another thing. When outside, hey, mommy, daddy is saying this, you say, eh, daddy will suffer me. Yes, daddy will suffer me. So there is need. If you want to lead together to get excellent results, then sit down together. This is a new calendar year. My wife will come. What are your programs? What are the visions you have in this calendar year? Let's announce things. Let's align things together. Because the members, the people we are leading, they see us as against idiots. The pastor is calling Monday, the wife is calling the next day. And when pastor is calling the church, the women will come. And tomorrow, mommy wants to call the women. It doesn't make sense many a times. If you are leading together to get excellent results, then plan things to be done together. Husband, please, carry your wife along. Bring your own. What are the things you want to do? You look at the calendar. You know you have to consider the national, the region before you fix your home. Look at how you synergize things. You discuss. So there is room for discussion if you want to lead together to get desired results. What do we want to do? Because the target is the church must grow. We want our ministry to be excellent. So the wife is not running on her own. The husband is not running on her own. No parallel government. We are moving towards the same thing. Then sit together. Don't say, mommy, don't fix everything. And say, there is no space for women here. That woman will be hurt. Down in her heart, she won't support you. She may not say it out. She will not support you to get the desired results. So when you are planning a program, let her know the details where she is going to get involved. Don't just do it. Plan it. And say, what am I supposed to do? Nothing. Gospel pastors, they will bring, go to the church, look at people in the church, do this, do that, do this. And their wife will just be standing, not doing anything. You will not get the maximum support. Don't give a role to any other person unless he is not available. Carry on along whatever we are doing. Praise the Lord. Praise the living Jesus. So that is very important. Let her know. You wives too, tell your husband, this is what I want to do. And many a times, when our program now clashed, let's just iron it out. Don't say, ah no, we must do that program. No. Step down for the husband to have it. The target is the same. I have seen pastors' wives that will tell the husband, no, program me, daddy early. And she has said this, daddy will not do it. Yes. That's the program. You know women are powerful. So if you want to eat in the night, if you want the home front to be peaceful, it's better you don't do it. When she says early, she says, please I have come to plead with you. When there are clashes in the program, just step down. My husband is sitting there, if I have any program and there is a clash, it is, from the bottom of my heart I say, daddy please, do your own. It should be the women are part of what you are doing. So I am not seeking any glory. I don't want, no, because if you sit down together and plan things together, your wife can feature in whatever, that's just my own belief, I don't know. Plan the programs together in a church. I will tell my husband that please this program, ok, this is what I want us to do. Women who attend to pregnant women, who attend to singles, who attend to married, let's plan programs. It can be a provisional program. As much as those people are attended to, I am good. I am good. So please, because people are looking at us. Bible says the house divided against itself. It can't stand. It can't stand. People are just making more clear of what are they doing, husband and wife. So we wife at times, we will fight our husband and remember they are listening, they are seeing us. Just because of program. How did you want our ministry to be excellent? So don't be power drunk. I want to hold the mic. I must talk. No, there are so many things. As pastor's wife, when we are co-leading, that we are supposed to do. Not to struggle for mic. I don't struggle for microphone. It's my husband that forced me to the puppet. Am I telling lies? No, naturally, there are so many things. I am a background person. I can do so many things at the background without holding the mic. And I am so comfortable with it. But what am I saying? We must not struggle for puppet. But when there is need, go there and do whatever you are going to do. Also in leading together, we must share responsibilities. Share responsibility with your partner. Pastor, let her know this is what you are going to do based on the gifting and the calling of God upon our wife. Based on the gifting and the calling. Don't just give her anything. There are things. We can't do all things. So as a husband, you must know spiritually the kind of wife you have. Where can she function maximally? Put her there. Don't put her where she can't function. And mommies, please, let us be comfortable with whatever the grace of God that is on us. Don't struggle with church member, with any female minister. Because that has been the order of the day. You'll be fighting with the female minister. You'll be fighting with her. What is your job? It's what God has given you grace to do. You are not graced for everything. You are not graced for how to work in the ministry. So where you have the grace, make sure it is only one aspect of the ministry. Stay there and let people know that you are doing it. Don't look at anyone that can't teach. Some people can teach very well. That means that don't struggle with them. I used to tell my husband, if I see people in his church, Daddy, please, these people, let them be hand in hand. Let them undo it. They are doing it better. People are blessed. Because I'm the wife of the pastor. I'm the wife of Jesus. I'm supposed, when my husband is not around, where is that written? Where is this written? That when your husband is not around, you are the nurse. You are not. You are not the nurse person. You are not. On a more serious note. Because your husband has assistants. Yes. When he is not around, it is the assistant that you take charge. But when you put yourself in a position of honor, they will say, I'm mommy. Please. But if you want to respect yourself, just say, please. Carry on. So, please, let's start off this understanding. We are co-leader with our husband. So what we do, what we don't do, we affect his work. And we want to make it excellent. So you have to know that. You are not the nurse. I'm the one. Whatever my husband can do, I can do. You can't do it. You can't. How many times has mommy Jio preached in the old legal service? How many times? How many times? Tell me now. No. It's prayer. Mommy will pray for Jio. Pray for that. She has never fought for it. You have so many things to do on the ground. That is making the program to work. That is keeping the ministry of daddy all over the world. She is not struggling with the pastor. So stop struggling with your assistant pastors, mommies. Stop struggling with them. Let them feel comfortable around you. Some of them are not comfortable around us at all. Because they know you will squeeze life out of them. Because you see them as someone blocking you. They are not. You want them to respect you the way they respect your husband? You work for it. You don't command it from them. So please pastor, share responsibility. This is what mommy. They can call you. Mommy, come and do this for us. Because you have earned the honor. You have earned it. You don't command it. Because I'm the wife of your pastor? No. The honor they will give to your pastor, they will give him as their pastor. He can talk to them anyhow as their pastor. But they will take it from you. They will not. They will resist it. So we need to honor ourselves. Respect ourselves. Do what you are supposed to do and leave the puppies. When my husband is not around, they used to beg me. Mommy, please now. I said to them, mommy, you are not around now. You are going to do it. They are happy calling me to come and do it. Because they know I don't intervene. I don't. I stay in the church. Follow them whatever they are doing. They drag and drag and say, leave me alone. At least my husband is not around. I have that freedom to do it. He is not around. I'm stepping. Where are they going to do it? We have a lot of things to do than to be struggling for the puppies with the pastors that are supporting our husbands. And so when you are given your own responsibility, please maintain your lane. Maintain your lane. Stay on the lane. Issues that concern your husband, don't dabble into it. Your husband has issues with the ministers. You are the one that called them. You don't maintain your lane. If you have anything to say at all, it's between you and your husband. Don't judge the man. I've come to talk from experience, from what I've seen. Not from any book or from any Google. But from what is practical, practical life. Praise the Lord. So just walk away as if you don't know what is happening. Let the pastor sort out. Don't just put your mouth in what is not yours. Stay where your husband has put you in that minute. This is what you should do. Just stay there and do it. If there's any problem, pray. You can counsel your husband in the house. In the church as your husband is talking, Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. You know, some of us, we are so powerful. That even when our husband decided in the church, I will come home and say, can you help me? You know, say, eh? You are going back tomorrow to go and pray there. And the daddy will carry himself back and say, wow. So that ministry cannot be excellent at all. At all. At all. At all. Whatever decision your husband has taken, you can't. No. You can't. You are a privileged woman. Don't abuse the privilege. It's a privilege. Who are we? Who are we? Praise the Lord. So please, Maintain your lane. What is none of your business, don't just meddle up with it. Any issue that concerns your husband, refer it. Even if they come to you. Mummy, don't you see what is happening between the pastor and this husband? Pastor or this? Say, oh, it's alright. Thank you. God bless you. You don't say, oh, I will talk to my husband. I will talk to my husband. That is when people will respect you, they will respect the man, they will respect your ministry. So stay on your lane. Refer issues that concern your husband to him. And husband, issues that concern your wife, where you are placed at. Don't just go there and take over again. If anything has to do with that, at least go and see mummy. Go and see mummy. That is when, that is down flow. She will be happy. Okay, you have placed me here. You trust in me that I can handle it. If there is anything that has to do with it, refer it to her. If she has any problem, she will come back to you. Oh, what you have sent to me with this and this and this. But don't just rubbish her. Don't make us useless. Where you have put her. Because we are leading together. You three can never make a forest. Praise the Lord. Praise the living Jesus. Also, we must correct one another. Like my husband said, the member will not tell you what you are doing that is not good. It is your partner, it is your spouse that can tell you the truth. But many a times, we deceive ourselves. Wives, when your husband is doing what is not good, tell him. Don't be afraid. If you are afraid of your husband, you can't tell him the truth. I beseech you. You know you are the one that used to carry out. When he misbehaves and they ask him to go, you feel it first. You know men, ah? They will continue. But it is you. Ah, I will not be my pastor again. I will not be this again. That is not based on weed authority. So when they are doing what is not good, if others can't say it, God has placed you there. God has placed you there to speak truth. Tell them the truth. Ah, my husband. This and this and this is not good. And that is why you must have your ears to the ground in the church. At times you can see it among the congregation. You hear. You can see. You can hear what is going on. Then you come and say, ah. Some people are laughing with me. Ah, pastor, you are doing well. Right on. Right on. Right on. And I say, teach in front. Right on, pastor. Right on, pastor. Right on, pastor. We love you, pastor, is a lie. But it is you that will come and say, please, my husband. This and this and this. And please, that is when your wife is saying, please, let's listen. Most wives will talk, but some men will not listen. You say, why? Who are you? Yes. We are seeing both sides. Please. Many a times, what you don't see, we women, we can see. You may not see anything bad in what you are doing. But by the way God created us, we may just know that something is not fine. And I tell you, please. Hey, can you come? Please. Take it and just weigh it. When your wife is saying, this is not right, take it from her. She is the only one that can say this. And when your husband is saying, this is not good, you must take it. If we are leading together to get excellent results. We are supposed to be each other's counselor. We counsel one another. We are supposed to be one another's critics. You can criticize one another. If it's not doing it's way, get to the bedroom and tell him, you are not doing it's way. Be bold to say it to your husband. Don't just be, hey, hey, I don't know. If I say it, say it. Say it. Don't be afraid. Don't say it with her. Don't say it with pride. Don't correct your husband with pride. Don't say it with pride. With humility. When you say it, it will put him off. I don't want to hear. But when you package it very well. You package it, you garnish it. And you present it. He will take it. So to your wife, you need to correct her in the secret. Praise the Lord. Proverbs 27 verse 5 says, open rebuke is better than secret love. When things are not going on fine, things that can affect the ministry, say it. Somebody can come to you and say, mummy, this and this and this and this is it. Okay, thank you very much. Then, take to correction. Somebody moves to, when your husband says this and this and your husband discusses with you, don't say, tell me the name of that person. Let me know that person. No. Because we are not God. It's only God that is perfect. See, when husband said, oh, that is me. I used to mind my business. As I'm going, I just face where I'm going. Because I grew among several boys. I was only girl about, around eight boys. So I was the only girl. So I've been minding my business. So I can sit down. My mother will say, yeah, sit down there. When their friend came, you know those mother now, they want to guide their daughter. The woman, the friend of my brother around, wants to tell me, yes, ma, finish. I won't come out again. So it has become parts and parts as I'm growing. So I will sit down. So when I'm not God-minded, I say, God, where are you seeing me now? Where am I going to start? So gradually, who will agree to me? At times I will not hear. They will tell my husband. He will tell me. He will tell me. He will tell me. He will tell me. He will tell me. He will tell me. He will tell me. He will tell me. He will tell me. He will tell me. He will tell me. He will tell me. He will tell me. He will tell me. He will tell me. He will tell me. He will tell me. He will tell me. He will tell me. He will tell me. He will tell me. He will tell me. He will tell me. He will tell me. He will tell me. He will tell me. He will tell me. He will tell me. How am I doing it? Don't be bitter. When they tell you what you are doing that is not good. Why must they say that? Please. It will help us. In leading together. So pastor don't be offended. When they say mummy is doing this, mummy is doing that. Mummy don't know how to talk to people. Mummy don't know how to help my wife. No. Take it as feedback. Ask your spouse. If you are not convinced. And be honest with one another. What are those things that I am doing? That are not good. If you are my wife. Ask my husband. Tell me. If we are children, let us ask our children. We will get our scorecard. Ask your children. What are those things that I am doing? As a pastor. At least you are my member. Others can tell us. While others can't tell us. The people of our household can tell us. Praise the Lord. And the moment you know. Let's deal with the weaknesses. The weaknesses. When you know. Because we have strength we have weaknesses. Deal with it individually. Then collective together. Husband help the wife. Wife help the husband. You know the weakness of your husband. Husband help him. He is the pastor. He can't do anything else. And she can't do anything else. Because she is the pastor's wife. We have to deal. The Bible says. Take us the forces. The little forces that spoil the vines. For our vines have tender grains. There are good things. There are visions. There are a lot of things. That we are supposed to do in ministry. But those little forces. Dispose it. So you must. When you identify it. Don't just keep going. Don't ignore. People used to say bad character is like a flat tire. If you don't stop and remove it. You can't move. So anything that is not good in us. Stay. If it has to take you out of poop it. For just one or two days. To go and sort yourself out. Don't continue with it. And say no I will do it. I am in charge. No you have to stop. And deal with those things. Husband help your wife. Wife help your husband. Which issue of character flaw. Do something about it. Your wife get angry easily. You need to calm. You have to learn patience. If you are angry easily. You have to work on one another. We are leaders. You can't just be angry. If it is your nature. You have to revert yourself. You have to do something about it. If you don't know how to address people well. We have to learn. We have to learn. So we have to take it out. Don't glory in it. That's how God created me. No. If it is not good. You can work on it. No matter how anointed we are many a times. Those things they are rubbish. They are anointing. They say mommy is good. Mommy is this. She can bring down mountains. That death has come. The old thing. So we must work on anybody. That people mention to us. Don't get angry. Don't fight anybody. Because they say something. They are helping us. Help one another. So help one another. Romans 15 says. We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak. And not to please ourselves. If you are strong in this part. Help your wife. Help your wife. Praise the Lord. We must take responsibility. For one another. We are together. Like what my husband said. Daddy and Kimomi went down. He took responsibility. Maybe. Yes. He made excuse. For me. Let's learn to make excuse at times. For our partner. In the sight of the members. That's how she used to do. That is same for you. Yes. Some people they will say. You make excuse. You make excuse. You have assigned a role in a place. There is problem there. Take responsibility. Oh daddy. Kimomi had done this. Oh I am sorry. I will look into it. Maybe she doesn't mean it the way you are interpreting it. I will resolve it. Sorry. You take responsibility for it. And they come to you as the wife. Oh this is what happened. My husband. Praise the Lord. Like Abigail in 4 Samuel 25. You start reading from 14. When Nabal fumbled with David. And the woman heard. What did she do? She took responsibility. She went straight. To King David. Please it is me. That offended you. That is what we are supposed to do. Coming back. Just pacify. Just pacify. Just pacify. The person and come back. The person and come back. In leading together we must learn that. In leading together we must learn that. Don't just say. Don't just say. No. No. No. No. We must not wash that dirty linen outside. Just make that case. And then come back home. And now talk. Mummy what did you do today? Talk. Daddy this and this and this. And as we are talking to one another. Because we are together. We must listen to one another. Let's listen to one another. Praise the Lord. Praise the living Jesus. In leading together. We must be committed to development. We must develop ourselves. Many a times there are issues. Many a times there are issues. Where the pastor's wife may not fit in. Sometimes they go. Sometimes they go. She was talking to us several years ago. She was talking to us several years ago. The wife of the area pastor is also part of the Sunday school department. The wife of the area pastor is also part of the Sunday school department. The wife of the area pastor is also part of the Sunday school department. They are now discussing who is going to take Sunday talk. They are now discussing who is going to take Sunday talk. They are now discussing who is going to take Sunday talk. They are now discussing who is going to take Sunday talk. They are now discussing who is going to take Sunday talk. They are now discussing who is going to take Sunday talk. They are now discussing who is going to take Sunday talk. They are now discussing who is going to take Sunday talk. They are now discussing who is going to take Sunday talk. 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