So, you say you want a relationship

The main ideas from this information are: - Building a fulfilling and fruitful relationship requires honest and open communication. - It is important to know and understand the preferences and needs of your partner. - Starting a relationship with false pretenses can lead to problems in the long run. - It is crucial to communicate and discuss important topics before marriage to avoid misunderstandings. - Becoming best friends with your partner lays a strong foundation for a successful relationship. - Relationships require work and effort to grow and evolve. - Communication, honesty, and understanding are key to a happy and lasting relationship. Welcome to Life Behind the Veils, an atmosphere where men and women of God speak His Word to this age and bring His Kingdom to this earth. Do you have ears to hear and eyes to see what God is doing in this hour? Let us join our hosts and the family's conversation as the Holy Spirit is unfolding the Word behind the veils. Are you beginning a new relationship with someone? Is there an honest and open communication between you? Are you taking the time to talk through your hopes, dreams, and those things that are important to you? Have you become best friends? Let's listen in as the family talks about what it takes to have a fulfilling and fruitful relationship. Do you bring roses or chocolates, remember the old days, roses or chocolates to a girlfriend, a potential girlfriend, and it may not be, she might be allergic to roses. She might hate chocolate. So do you know who you're talking about? Do you know who you're relating to? Exactly. You know, the thing is, is she may accept the chocolate, let's just say she, the flowers, say she's allergic to the flowers, but she accepts them. It creates a false start, a false foundation because she's liking the guy and she doesn't want to offend him. So she's going to say, okay, I love the flowers. And there's probably a factor of truth in that. But then the next time, because he did such a good job in bringing her flowers, he's going to bring her more flowers and more flowers and more, and she is going to finally go either stop bringing me flowers because I'm allergic to it. She'll finally open up and tell him the truth or she's going to leave him because she can't handle the ability to tell him that. And that, that you don't want a false start like that. You want to teach people how to actually have a good start in their relationship. Right. That's really true because I can speak from personal experience. That situation may come up at the beginning of a relationship or it may come up during the relationship and it could come up even years later because you start out building familiarity. You want to become familiar with one another, what you like, what you don't like. But then that familiarity can get the ball rolling and usually those things that you start out with are not that serious. Right. It's funny you mentioned being allergic to flowers. I was allergic to Linda's cat. And we dated once or twice and I told her I can't come back to your house with that cat. That's great. And it blew me away. She got rid of the cat like the third or fourth day. Really? Oh my. That's funny. And I felt bad about it because I didn't realize it. So, you know, a month or so later I says, where's your cat at? Because she would put it in the basement. And she says, well, I got rid of it. And I go, oh, geez. It spun my head around. Right. I bet. The situation you're talking about is very progressive. Yes, very much. It's harder as things progress because when you're starting out in a relationship, you're not talking about retirement and where you're going to go live. Right. No. When you come to retirement, your lives change. And, you know, sometimes you have dreams together as you grow. And other times, you know, I've always wanted to do that and I never said anything about it. Uh-oh. You're in trouble. You know, it's interesting. I have a book and I really recommend it to anyone. It's called Cupid is Dead. And it's really, really interesting and really great for people wanting a relationship because this premise, it's a Jewish rabbi who's talking about it. He's been through counseling many, many years and he has some examples that he's given. And the premise behind it is all of these gods, I believe it's a Greek god, or I think Cupid is Greek if I'm not mistaken. I don't remember for sure. But they're all dead except Cupid. And he says, the issue, the problem is, is this little imp is flying around and he's shooting people with these arrows. But it gives you premises that it gives you a thing like you think you can fall in love, get married, and have a wonderful life is what the premise is behind the Cupid thing. And so his first chapter, he talks very much about a couple who went to college and he was a couple years ahead, so he started his career. They got married while in school, both of them were in school. And so as soon as he had his career in process, he told her it's time to have a child. And she goes, uh-uh, no, nope, nope. And they got into some pretty bad arguments over that. And it took them to see this rabbi, the counseling, and they started to talk with him and sharing their sides of the story, this and that and stuff. And he goes, huh, yeah, I'm hearing, I'm hearing. He goes, what did you talk about before you got married? Did you, talking to him, let her know that your plan is to have a child at a certain point in time? Well, no, we just got married. And he goes, well, and her, did you let him know that you also wanted to start a career? She goes, well, I didn't. We knew we were in school, we were heading for our graduation and stuff, but never really talked about it. And that was the issue, is they did not communicate where they wanted to be at any given time. And I know people, since that book is written, you have a six-month, one-year, five-year, ten-year plan. You kind of work your way, hopefully, keeping as tight to that plan as you can if you agree on it. You have to have an agreement with it. If there's no agreement, then you don't want to get married because you're not going to be happy because somebody has to give more away, if you will, than the other does. And it's not a fair, it's not an equitable situation. And so that was really real to me in the fact that if you don't communicate, I know before I married my wife, I sat down with her and we talked about absolutely everything I could think about. And I told her, you be thinking about these things, too, because they're so important that we need to know where are we going to be, what's going to happen. And I think it really helped in the long run knowing certain criteria that we were each looking for. One of my mentors talked about the very thing you're talking about, that a couple needs to get together, just like a legal thing, basically, and you sit across from the table from one another and you're brutally honest because you do not want to enter into a marriage relationship, a contract. Actually, it's a contract before God. And you enter into that without the honesty, without being brutally honest, you're in trouble because you're marrying somebody you don't even know. And you need to know do they think, how do they think, what's in their hearts about every subject that you can possibly think about. I think that would be, that small little counseling like that would save, if people would listen to it, would save so many heartaches. And think of the millions of children out there without fathers and mothers or broken homes. All those things from a simple thing of not communicating honestly and taking the time beforehand and not just quote, like you were saying at the beginning of this conversation, having Cupid shoot you with an arrow and falling in love with one another because of some emotion or attraction which lasts about, well, not very long normally, especially after you get married and you start living with somebody, all the romantic stuff starts fading. And then you face the real life of seeing one another get up in your PJs and all that good stuff, you know, everyday life. And I think it's huge. I think it's just the subject we're talking about is just huge. If people just have common sense, sit down and talk and get to know the person that you're actually wanting to relate to. Exactly. There's many ways to say the same thing. And I'll add a third one to it, and that's the time that you spend with a person you're in a relationship with, you should be working on becoming best friends. Yes. And the counseling I had given over the years was, well, I probably ought to slow down a little bit and become best friends. Right. That was successful in many cases. And I remember one case, they slowed down and couldn't become best friends. They couldn't get beyond saying, you're my best friend. And that was in their favor because their marriage would not have worked out. Yeah. Right. And the unfolding of a relationship always has its challenges and its blessings. And that's what you're talking about, sitting down and opening your heart and saying, these are my expectations. This is what I dream of. This is what I'm looking to give in this relationship. This is what I'm looking to receive. And because the different levels of relationships that God has laid out before us, the first level of relationship is we see one another as Christ in the earth. He has filled that person. Christ in you, the hope of glory. And the second basis of our relationship is we're brothers and sisters. We're the same family. We have the same father. And the third level of relationships is like a partnership. And that's where the level of most marriages start out at least is it's a partnership. And a successful partnership is something that you work at every day. Exactly, yeah. And throughout the relationship because you know that it's going to change, it's going to expand, and it's going to grow. And if you're working with your best friend, and the thing is about a best friend, you develop a history. You develop a history with that best friend, and you can take that history, and you can use it to determine your future. Relationships that fail usually do so because in the beginning, a foundation was not laid of honest and deep communication. What is expected out of the relationship from both parties must be expressed truthfully. Hopes, dreams, and goals should be voiced and agreed upon. Becoming best friends lays a great foundation for future happiness. What foundation do you want your relationship to have? Experiencing the impartation of God's word through his family is life. Has this time in his presence blessed you? Then please subscribe to our podcast at livebehindtheveil.com. If you would like to contact the family with questions or topics that you would like discussed, you can email them to livingepistles at livebehindtheveil.com. Stay connected, tuned in, and grow with the family as the Lord unveiled his word to us live, behind the veil.