Mientras Dios nos moldea (Jay Minor)

The speaker expresses their love for Central America and encourages the audience to continue following God. They then share a picture of their family and talk about the challenges of parenting. They emphasize that parenting is not a formula and that God shapes our character as we raise our children. The speaker shares their own experiences with their children's spiritual journeys and encourages the audience to find hope in knowing they are not alone and that their story is not over. They discuss the story of Abraham and Isaac, highlighting the absence of Isaac after the sacrifice was interrupted, and pose the question of what happened to him. Awesome. All right. Good afternoon. Buenas tardes. Great to see you all. Everybody say hi to my friend Sergio. And hopefully Sergio is going to say everything that I say. Otherwise you're hearing a lesson by Sergio today. It could go either way. I am incredibly, incredibly honored to be here today. I really love Central America. And I love getting to see so many of my friends that I've known for so many years. And it makes me happy to see that you're still faithful. And I'm really inspired by your courage and your love for God. I wanted to say that I think God is doing amazing things in Central America. It's great to see all of you come together for this retreat. And I just want to encourage you to continue to follow God wherever he leads you. I wanted to show everybody my family. That is my wife and my four kids. This picture was taken before COVID. So my younger two children would be horrified if they knew I was showing this picture. But right now they look so much cooler than they did in this picture. They have better hair. They've got cooler clothes. So just imagine them looking a lot cooler than they do in this picture. Can you use your imagination for that? Okay. So my oldest daughter is 26 and she's going to graduate school in Seattle. My son Jonathan is 23 and he's living at home with us right now. My next son is Jacob and he is almost 20. Maybe he's almost 21. I can't do the math and now I'm panicking. And then my youngest is 16 and her name is Brooklyn. And so today I just kind of wanted to talk to you about family. How many of you are parents? Raise your hand. Okay, great. Even if you're not a parent, hopefully this will be encouraging for you. And I wanted to see a show of hands of anybody that is perfect parent. Anybody figured it out? So I want you to know that this class is not a class with an easy formula. This is not a parenting class where I'm going to tell you if you do this, then your children will do this. Because if you know anything about parenting, you realize that it doesn't always work out that way. Parenting can be a little bit more challenging than that. And the title of the class today is about God shaping us. What I really want to talk about is how God shapes our character as we are raising our children. You know, we all can have an image of what we want our family to turn out like. When our babies are in the womb, we're already praying for their spouse. We're picturing how everything is going to be perfect. And all of our kids are going to grow up to be respectful human beings. And they're all going to love Jesus. And they're all going to have really great careers and jobs. They're never going to do anything wrong or make any mistakes. And we have this image in our head, and it can oftentimes leave us asking this question. What happened? What happened? Because once you've been doing this for a while, you start to realize that life can take a different path than what you thought it was going to take. You know, in my own family, I have experienced all kinds of emotions. My first two kids both became disciples when they were in their teens. And those were great days. And as they've gotten older and started their journeys as adults, both of them have started to struggle spiritually in different ways. And they're exploring what spirituality looks like for them. And if they would just ask me, I could tell them exactly what they should do. But at this point, they're not asking. My younger two kids, I adopted when they were nine and five. And both of them have a lot of trauma in their background, which makes it really difficult for them to believe that God is good. You know, when you raise your kids from babies, you tell them from the very beginning, Jesus loves you. God is good. Jesus is good. But when they grow up experiencing that life is not good, and that people can't be trusted, it makes it difficult for them to believe that God is good and can be trusted. So all of my kids are at a different place in their spiritual journey. And I end up asking this question a lot. And I end up staying up at night praying for them. And I end up sometimes feeling embarrassed because my family doesn't look as perfect as I want it to look. And I know other families and their children look perfect. And I think, why doesn't my family look like that? And I think that many times, if you haven't already, you're going to go through a situation where you start to feel this. But the thing is that God is shaping our heart and our character in those moments. So I'm hoping that this is not a discouraging discussion, but ultimately, at the end, that you will actually feel some hope. There's two things that I want you to know at the beginning. The first one is that you are not alone. No matter how discouraged you may feel in the moment, you are not alone. When you feel like, I don't know how we're ever going to get out of this, you are not alone. You know, our enemy tries to tell us every day and every moment that we're the only ones who are experiencing what we're going through. And we're the only ones who are experiencing what we're going through. And we're the only ones who are experiencing what we're going through. And we're the only ones who are experiencing what we're going through. But that's not the truth. The truth is that we're not alone. We have brothers and sisters around us that are going through the same things. There are people that can relate to your pain. And God is there. The second thing that I want you to know at the beginning here is that the story is not over. God is writing this big, grand story. And every story has a beginning and a middle and an end. And sometimes the story goes in really crazy directions before you get to the end. Have you ever watched a movie that it felt like it had 18 different characters in it? Have you ever watched a movie that it felt like it had 18 different endings? The Lord of the Rings was like that. Does anybody know The Lord of the Rings? Anybody watch that movie? At the end of that movie, at the end of the third movie, the ending takes about 45 minutes. That's what our life is like. There's an ending, and then there's another ending, and then there's another problem, and there's another ending. And then there's another challenge, and then there's another ending. And wherever you are, the story is not over. You know, God is about the long term. When Joseph was sold into slavery, he had to remember that the story is not over. There was more that was coming. When he got put into prison, and he was there for years, he had to remember the story is not over. When the Israelites had become slaves in Egypt, and they cried out to God, they had to remember that the story is not over. When David had been anointed king, but still had to wait ten years before he could take the throne, he had to remember that the story is not over. When Jonah was in the belly of the whale for three days, he had to remember that the story is not over. Are you seeing a pattern? Are you? Good. It's okay if you speak back to me. There's a pattern all through the Scriptures, where we have to wait on God to rescue us. When Jesus was in the tomb for three days, His disciples knew from the Scriptures that the story wasn't over. But yet, when we are in the middle of a story, and the story is not going well, and our children are not doing what we want them to do, or they're making bad decisions, or they're saying, I don't really want to follow God right now, it's hard to remember that the story is not over. But I want you to choose to believe it today. No matter what's going on in your life and your family, this story is not over. So I want to talk about a story that we all know well, but then also maybe take you into an area maybe that you're not familiar with. Let's talk about Abraham. So, from the very beginning, God called Abraham out of his homeland and brought him to the land of Canaan. So he started over here in the city of Ur. Then he went all the way up there to Haran. And then he came down here into the land of Canaan. Okay, so does everybody see that? Okay, now, it's going to be important in a few minutes, so we're going to come back to it. So, after Abraham had come all the way down there and he was living down there, you know, kind of where we know, God called Abraham out of his homeland and brought him to the land of Canaan. God calls Abraham to sacrifice his son Isaac. How many people remember this story? Okay, so, when he had to sacrifice Isaac, he was staying in this city of Beersheba. That's where Abraham and Sarah and Isaac were living. And when he had to sacrifice Isaac, he had to go up to the mountain of Moriah. Okay, so now, as we're thinking about that, here we see that as the story started to be told, it would say that Abraham and Isaac were together. Can you read that for us? So, who was together? Right? It's Abraham and it's Isaac. Right? And even later, if you look in verse 6, it says the two of them went on together. So, the Scriptures are clear that the two of them are doing this together. Okay? The two of them are doing this together. But then, after Abraham is about to sacrifice Isaac, and the angel intervenes, then we see this in verse 19. Go ahead and read that. Okay. So, Abraham returned to Beersheba. What do you notice about this? His son is not there. Where's Isaac? For some reason, the Scripture doesn't tell us where Isaac is. We could just think, oh, well, it's just part of the way that they wrote it. And it might be. It might be that way. But sometimes, I think that the Scriptures are written in such a way that it wants us to ask these kinds of questions. And in fact, for years, hundreds of years, thousands of years, the rabbis in the Jewish world have studied these Scriptures. And they have asked these questions over and over. And one of the questions that they asked was this one. What happened to Isaac? What do you think happened to Isaac? If you were a teenager, and you knew your dad loved you, and then he took you on a three-day journey up on top of a mountain, and then he tied you down onto a rock, and he put wood underneath you like it was a fire, and he picked up a knife and was like, and then was like, oh, okay, never mind. How would you feel about your relationship with your dad? I don't know about you, I'd feel a little bit awkward. I mean, that would be hard to be able to connect with my dad at that point. And so, there's actually a whole collection of writings in the Jewish world called the Midrash. The Midrash. And it's like this commentary on the scriptures. So the Midrash engages with the text. It tries to get behind the text. It focuses on every letter and every word. It also focuses on the words that are not said. So one of the thoughts in the Midrash about this story is that Isaac was so traumatized by what happened that he refused to come home with Abraham. That's why it says that Abraham and his servants returned to Beersheba. But it doesn't mention Isaac. Now, this is not divinely inspired scripture. I'm not saying that this is truth. But I want us to consider if this could have been true. Because it teaches us something about Abraham's character. So if you can imagine that Abraham has this moment with Isaac. Isaac runs off. Abraham is like, well, I've just got to go home. So what happens next in the text is that we see that Sarah passes away. But there's something interesting about it. Read this verse. This says that Abraham went to mourn for Sarah. She died in Hebron. But where was Abraham living? He was living in Beersheba. So when Abraham comes back from the mountain without Isaac, we don't know what happened. We don't know if Abraham told Sarah before he left what he was going to do. We don't know if she found out in the moment that he had taken their one son that they had waited for. But what we see is that she spent her last days, weeks, years away from Abraham in Hebron. Because when she died, the scripture says that Abraham went to mourn for her. So this is interesting. There's something else interesting that we see in this next passage. You can read that. So this scripture tells us that Isaac was not living with Abraham. Abraham was in Beersheba. Isaac was living in Bir Lahai Roy. How do I say that? Bir Lahai Roy. Now, does anybody remember? I know I'm getting kind of Bible nerd on you. But I am going somewhere. So stay with me just for a few more moments. Okay? Does anybody remember hearing about Bir Lahai Roy anywhere else in the scripture? I'll actually tell you where you've heard this before. Do you remember when Hagar was pregnant? And Sarah got mad at her and kicked her out. And she went out into the desert. And she sat down under a bush and said, I need to die. And God came to her and said, I see you. Don't be afraid. I see you. And there was a spring, a well of water there. That well is called Bir Lahai Roy. So let that connection sink in. We see Isaac on the mountain about to get killed by his dad. He does not come home with his dad. The next time we hear about him, he's living in the place that's associated with Hagar and Ishmael. So could this be that Isaac ran away and went to stay with his half-brother? Now, I'm such a Bible nerd that that gives me goosebumps to think about. And I hope that you'll at least lie to me and tell me it gives you goosebumps too. Because what we see is the real traumatic aftermath of our decisions and the consequences that happen. So if we can just picture this. I feel so much for Abraham. Because God said, take your one son and sacrifice him. And Abraham said, okay, I will. And he took him up on the mountain and he did what he thought was right. And he obeyed God. But yet he had to deal with the aftermath of that. It did not work out the way that he wanted it to. He had a difficult time with that. It's possible that his wife and he were estranged after that. It wasn't like the Father of our faith had the perfect family in this moment. So I just want to remind you that even when you are trying to follow God with all of your heart, when you've done everything that you try to do to raise your kids to love God, and you have family devos every week, and you take your kids to church, and you try to be humble at home, and you work on your marriage, and you try to apologize to your kids when you make a mistake, that does not automatically mean that they are going to become disciples in the time that you want them to. But you are not alone. But you are not alone, and the story is not over. Now, I want you to look at this map. It's hard to see. Now, what happened after this was that Abraham said to his servant Eleazar, you need to go and get a wife for my son. Go back to my family in Haran and get a wife for my son. Okay, now, if our story tracks, then Isaac is not living with Abraham at this point. Sarah is not living with Abraham at this point. Abraham doesn't know if Isaac is ever coming home. But he still says, I need to get a wife for my son because that's what a father does. Even though I can't see it in this moment, I'm still going to do what I need to do. Even though I don't have an easy answer right now, I'm still going to be faithful to God. And isn't that the definition of faith? Is believing and acting even when you don't understand it. Even when you don't see that this is going to work out. I'm still going to trust in God. So Abraham was still doing what he could to take care of his son. Even though his son was not on good terms with him in the moment. Man, that moves me. It reminds me that I just need to keep doing what is right. Many times I will talk with other disciples and they'll tell me stories about their kids who were kind of out in the desert for five years. And then everything worked out and they came back. And now they're great disciples. And I say, I don't want to hear that story. Don't tell me that. No wait, actually do tell me that. But stop talking. Sometimes I don't want to hear someone else saying just hold on and you have faith and you can do it. Because when I'm right in the middle of the difficulty and the pain, it's hard for me to believe that something good can happen. And I get stuck in my faithlessness. But what we see in Abraham here is a man who was determined to have faith. And was determined to do what was right no matter what. Okay now, when we back up and we think about Isaac living in Bir Laha Roy. Inaudible So he had been living down in the Negev. But he came back up even past Beersheba. After Eliezer has been up in Haran. Bringing his wife Rebecca down. So if our story line is true, then Rebecca had agreed to be the wife of a son who wasn't even living at the house. That's heavy. But Rebecca was trusting that Abraham's family was going to work out. And so if you remember the story, Isaac is out in a field and he says he's meditating. But it also could be translated that he's like really having a difficult emotional time. So he's near the place where his mom died. Mourning his mom. That possibly he didn't get to see after the whole sacrifice thing. And here comes Eliezer with Rebecca. And she gets off the camel. And it says that he took her into his mother's tent and married her. And he was comforted after his mother's death. Now, I don't know if this gets you. Or moves you. But when I think about Abraham trying to hold on and do what is right, I go, that's who I want to be as a dad. I'm not giving up. I'm not stopping. I'm going to hold on. And here's what I want to tell you parents. You do your best to raise your kids. You do your best to raise your kids. But then I want you to hear this. Your spiritual life is your spiritual life. Their spiritual life is their spiritual life. You do your best to influence them. But they have their own journey. And I want you to ask yourself several questions. Did I do that one? Did I do that one? Okay, good. Yeah, I did. I can't read in Spanish, so I don't know. So, I want you to ask yourself these three questions. Which hopefully the answers to these in your head are always yes, but in our hearts can sometimes be no. Does God love my children? Of course. Yeah. But when we hold on so tight to what we think our children should do, sometimes that's us saying, no, God, you don't really love my children the way they should be loved. I'll take care of it. When our kids are going through a difficult time, we have to remember God loves them. God loves my kids. Sometimes there's nothing that I can do than trust that God loves my kids. So ask this question now. Is He aware of what is going on with them? In our head, of course. God knows everything, right? When I'm awake at night, agonizing over my kids, I find myself praying, trying to make sure that God knows what's happening. I say, God, don't you see this? And God, if they do this, then this could happen. Aren't you aware of that? Because in my heart, I'm afraid. I'm afraid that God is not keeping an eye on my kids. But when I come back to this point, that God loves my kids and knows what's going on, it helps me to kind of take a breath and relax. And then this. Will He do everything He can to win their hearts the way that He won mine? What did God have to do to win your heart? What did God have to do to get your attention? How did He show up in your life to win your heart? What did He save you from in order for you to realize that He was the only way? Many of us hit rock bottom. And we had to hit rock bottom before we would humble out and accept Jesus. And the truth is, I don't want my kids to have to hit rock bottom. I want them to just listen to my advice. And I want to be able to tell them, just follow God and your life will be great. And I expect them to say, Oh, Father, You're so wise. Thank You for speaking life into me. But not everybody is like that. In fact, most of us and most of our kids are not like that. Your kids may have to hit rock bottom. But God is watching every single step. And He will do anything that He needs to do in order to win their hearts. All three of these questions, I believe in my head. But I wrestle with them in my heart. And this is how God is molding me and shaping me. In my dark moments, in my difficult times, when I'm feeling fear and I'm not full of faith, God is bringing me back to this idea that He really is in control. And my heart has to be changed. My heart has to be changed. I was talking with a friend of mine a few weeks ago. He leads the church in Winnipeg, Canada. And we were just having coffee, talking about church stuff. And he just said this sentence. And I said, Whoa, whoa, whoa. And I had to write it down. I pulled out my phone. And this is what he said. When your kids don't become disciples, don't focus on them. Focus on the home that they will come back to. And it just hit me. That's my job now. As a parent with adult children. What I want to do is I want to focus on creating a home. A spiritual home and a physical home that my kids will feel safe coming back to. That they won't feel judgment. That they won't feel my anger. That they won't feel my disapproval. That they will feel my incredible and unconditional love for them. Isaac went through some trauma from his dad. And Abraham was a good and righteous man. But even as Abraham was trying to follow God, he inflicted trauma on his son. Some of you parents may have inflicted trauma on your kids. Even though you were trying to follow God and do the right thing. The way that your kids may have interpreted it or whatever happened. There may be some difficult things for your kids to work through. And if you get defensive and say, No, I was trying to be a good disciple. Why aren't you grateful? Then you're not acknowledging that your kids have gone through some stuff. You may not be the easiest person to live with. I know I'm not. I so wish that I could go back to when my kids were born and try it again. Unfortunately, experience only comes through experience. Hebrews chapter 6, verse 10. Go ahead. God is not unjust. He will not forget your work. He will not forget all that you poured into your kids. He will not forget all the prayers that you prayed for your kids. Because you are not alone. And the story is not over. So allow God to shape your heart and mold your character so that you become more like Abraham but really more like Jesus. And no matter what you're going through, I just want you to know God sees you. He sees you. Let me pray for us. Father, thank you that we could be here. I thank you for every person in this room. God, you know all of the challenges that we are facing. You know all the difficult situations with some of our family members. You know how discouraged we can feel. But Father, we thank you that you are with us. And we thank you that you see us. And God, we want to be like Abraham. That we will continue to do what is right. Even when things don't look like they're going to work out. And I pray that you give us strength to hold on and do what is right. God, we trust you. We want to trust you. And even when we don't trust you, God, help us to trust you. You have proved your love for us over and over by sending Jesus to die on the cross for our sins. And God, so we know that you love us. We rest in your love. We thank you for sending Jesus to die for us. We pray that we leave here today with faith. We pray in Jesus' name. Amen. Thank you guys.