Dear Hildegaard - Serotonin & Unexpected Joy

The speaker is addressing someone named Hildegard and expressing their excitement to show her the ocean. They also mention a moment where Hildegard threw up on them but didn't seem to notice because she was having fun. The speaker hopes that Hildegard doesn't inherit their serotonin imbalance but reassures her that it's okay to not be okay. They talk about the brokenness in the world but also the beauty and joy that still exist. The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-care and being honest with oneself. They mention the difficulties of adjusting expectations as an adult and the unexpected joy that can come along the way. Serotonin and unexpected joy. Dear Hildegard, I can't wait to show you the ocean. Dear Hildegard, you threw up today, straight down into my shirt as I held you over my head. You didn't even notice. You were having too much fun. I screamed and changed. You laughed. I'm having the best time with you. Dear Hildegard, I hope that you do not inherit my serotonin imbalance, but you might. And if you do, I want you to know that it's okay to not be okay. It's okay to feel numb for no reason and to be sad about that, because it doesn't seem fair. It isn't. The world broke the day we trusted our own wisdom over God's. It broke, and one day, he will put it back together. But right now? Right now, there is brokenness amid the beauty and the joy, and it's okay to groan with the rest of creation. It's okay to take walks just to soak up the sunshine. It's okay to eat ice cream in the afternoon. It's okay to watch TV. It's okay to read your Bible on your phone. It's okay to wish that you were always as happy as you felt the day you ate ice cream in the afternoon. It's okay to cancel plans. It's okay to wish that things were different. It's not okay to assume that your body is a problem, or that your laugh isn't wonderful, or that you are ugly or annoying or a burden. It's not okay to tell yourself that you are alone, because you are never alone. God is a never-leave-your-side kind of friend. He never leaves or forsakes or forgets. It's not okay to lie to yourself when you're sad. Those lies can spiral and gather snow and pick up speed and become all you can see. You must tell yourself what is true, grab a soft blanket and feel its fibers between your fingers, remind yourself that you're safe, that you are standing on solid ground, and if you want to, pick up a pen or a paintbrush. Dear Hildegard, One of the hardest things about being a grown-up is adjusting the expectations you had for yourself. The other is adjusting the expectations you had for other people. You imagined you'd be married by 25 and have three kids, two girls and a boy, or two boys and a girl. You thought you left enough wiggle room for contentment. But the other thing is unexpected joy.