Episode 2 - Overcoming Self-Sabotage and Navigating Healing

Linda San is a karaoke enthusiast who loves nature, hiking, and fishing. She starts a podcast called "Pure Mending" that focuses on personal growth and healing. In episode one, she explains the origins of the podcast name and its mission. In episode two, she discusses overcoming self-sabotage and navigating trauma healing. Linda shares her own experiences with childhood trauma and offers advice on how to support someone going through trauma. She discusses the signs of childhood trauma and suggests self-care practices for healing. She also advises on appropriate responses to trauma survivors and emphasizes the importance of listening without judgment. Hey there, my name is Linda San, and I am a karaoke enthusiast, always up for a good sing-along session. And my second heart belongs to Maskman Red Curry. It's like my taste buds' best friend. Nature is my sanctuary, and I am an avid hiker and nature lover, exploring the beauty of the outdoors. My family's journey is filled with diverse experiences, and I'm proud of our unique story. There's something truly magical about being out on the water, so in the gentle breeze, and connecting with nature. It's in those moments that I find peace and a sense of adventure. Fishing isn't just a hobby, it's a passion that runs deep in my soul. Whether it's the thrill of the catch, the serenity of the surroundings, or the shared memories with friends and family, being outdoor brings me pure happiness. It's a big part of my life, a healing and mending journey, along with my emotions and experiences. Each step of the trail brings a sense of freedom, a release of stress, and a connection to some greater than myself. So when you see me lace up on my boots and head for the trail, know that I'm chasing more than just an adventure. I'm chasing moments of pure, unfiltered happiness. And I invite you to join me in this incredible journey, discovering the world's beauty one step at a time. So pull up a seat, make sure you're cozy, and get ready to be challenged and encouraged while you learn. You are listening to Pure Mending, exploring the triad of happiness, health, wealth, and relationship transformation. Body, mind, voice, rise. Your host here, Linda Pham. This show will serve individuals navigating personal growth, healing, and breaking the silence, especially single parents, providing inspiration, guidance, and a supportive community for a resilient and fulfilling journey. In episode one, where I share Pure Mending podcast launching, so now I'm taking you back to how the name came. Back in 2001, I was at Ashby College in Washington studying massage therapy. As part of our course, we did internships and had to make a business portfolio. That's when Pure Mending was born. The name came from what we believe in, the healing of power, touch, and the pure intentions behind each session. It's meant that healing goes beyond the body, reaching into our emotions, thoughts, and spirit. Now Pure Mending has grown from massage therapy into a podcast. We explore happiness, personal growth, and how to heal and stay strong. Join me in discovering the stories and lessons that started back at Ashby College. Welcome to Pure Mending, where the journey of healing is as simple and true as its name. In episode two, overcoming self-sabotage and navigating trauma healing. Navigating the path of healing from trauma can be a very challenging journey and at times the temptation to turn to alcohol or drugs may seem like the answer. Having witnessed this struggle up close in my own home, it's important to share my own opinion. Though momentarily numbing, are not the solutions during this delicate phase. So engaging with recreational substances might offer temporary relief, but it hinders the process of working through to understand your emotions. It's crucial to choose a healthier way in coping that allows you to confront and process your feelings. Fostering genuine healing in the long run for a healthier road ahead. Has this happened to you? When someone tells you, you just don't understand what I'm going through, it's very important to respond with empathy and acknowledgement. You can say something like, I may not fully understand the depth of your experience, but I'm here for you. Share as much as you're comfortable with, and I'll do my best to support you through this journey. We all have unique struggles in sharing mine with close friends. I hear most of the time, it happens, we just don't talk about it. But I want to be the source of understanding and compassion for you. This response communicates your willingness to listen and be a supportive presence without saying that you fully understand their specific situation. As we dive into future podcasts, we're going to talk about what are the symptoms of childhood abuse as an adult. If you're experiencing trauma as a child, it's most likely that you have experienced some amount of post-traumatic stress disorder, and that's later in life. How do you release childhood trauma? We'll cover this in future podcasts that we will be announcing later. As you go through this together, after exposure to any traumatic event, kids also tend to express some form of behavioral changes in behaviors that are still regularly reported by mental health professionals and their daily practices with adults. And these behavioral changes could include sudden fears that may not be related to any traumatic event, separation anxiety that occurs when a child becomes just overwhelmed with anxiety when their parents are not around, sleep disturbance. This could mean that they're just having nightmares or lose the ability to fall asleep. Sadness. If you notice that you or a loved one is feeling down much more often, it may be a sign that they're coping with a traumatic event. Losing interest in normal activity. A child may lose interest in things that they used to enjoy. Their inability to concentrate. This could be long or short term. Things that have impacted them like school or work or just normal activities. Anger. Unexplained, uncontrollable anger or irritability that just doesn't match up to the level of what's happening during that time. It could be a sign of a traumatic event. Complaints. They can include complaints like, my stomach hurts, I have headaches or any other physical pain that seems to have no root cause. So it's important to note that many of these symptoms just go away with time. However, the risk of PTSD does increase if the child is repeatedly exposed to this trauma over and over or has a history of anxiety issues. While going through therapy can be an effective way to heal from childhood trauma, there are some other ways to heal. And some people find that self-care practices such as myself, meditation, exercise and journaling can help them process their emotions and heal from childhood trauma without therapy. The path I know very well for my own children and myself, sharing from personal experiences from my family to yours. I'm here for you spiritually as you find your pure healing. What are the signs of repressed childhood trauma? There's many signs such as poor emotional control where the child is having difficulties just regulating their emotions, insecurities, difficulty building healthy relationships, fear of abandonment and low self-esteem. You are not alone. I'm here vulnerably sharing my journey as a survivor of physical abuse, rape, enduring physical abuse from non-family members and coping with shame and to pretend it didn't happen. As I'm recording these, I'm not taken back by the memories anymore. I have learned to heal and mend a part of my life where time heals wounds, they say. I just forget the pain and trauma episodes I went through and I don't isolate myself. I calm myself down, I try meditation or deep breathing exercises. Although some of the flashbacks do still come to stay, I was able to cope with it. When helping someone through trauma, what are the do's and don'ts? People question the responses when people share their experience from a trauma. It actually goes into that part of the brain that takes over. This means they aren't analyzing more than a way to respond at the moment, but some people try to defend themselves, maybe even attempt to escape and others might stand there and just freeze. So there is no wrong or right response, but ultimately the person's brain is doing everything it can to help them to survive. Questioning why they responded the way they did only get a different reaction. Don't state or imply that they could have done something different. A natural response of a survivor of trauma is to question why it happened, or what did they do to cause it to happen. Because this is a very emotional time. That there was something more than they could have done only to confirm the harmful belief that victims are some way in the wrong or they did something bad. It's why they went through that trauma. Even to prevent those measures, the ultimate truth is victimization shouldn't have happened in the first place. So don't try to fix them. Each person's experience is unique and people have different responses than they need. And it's just taken day by day. Giving advices about what you should have done or how you think you could try to move on does not provide a safe space for that conversation. For the person to heal, even if you mean well, do listen to them without judgment. Because of the trauma, the person may not want to talk a lot about the trauma, or not even at all. If the person decides to confide in you, do your best to listen with an open mind and thank them for sharing their story with you. Something like, I would say, I'm sorry to hear this happen to you, would be more of them like, why me? I would just keep it at, I'm sorry to hear this happened. This can be appropriate, but try to avoid saying things like, well, at least you're okay. While the person may look okay on the outside, they're feeling not okay. Know the signs of post-traumatic stress. After trauma, the person may act differently than once they did. They may have difficulty sleeping at night, or they may think a lot about the trauma. They may feel like the traumatic moment from time to time comes back. Sometimes people appear more mad, or they might seem to be shutting down entirely. These are all signs that the person is struggling with post-traumatic stress. So as a friend or family member, our job is not to diagnose them, it's to simply provide the space, understanding and supportive space. Also encouraging them to connect with a mental health professional. Trauma can be very complicated to heal and may require professional help. If your friend or loved one is struggling, it is okay to encourage them to seek out additional support through a counselor. I will include resources in our blog page or here in our show notes so that if you're experiencing anyone that is close to you that's experiencing this, please reach out to them or to provide them a support system. So the National Child Traumatic Stress Network, Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, NU. The Crisis Text Line, Text HOME to 741-741-3247-CRISIS. There will be other resources available, and if you have any resources that you have personally used, either DM me or include that in your review so that all of us can find different ways to seek out additional support. Disclaimer, the content presented in this podcast is for informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you have any concerns about your health or require personalized medical advice, please consult with a licensed physician or qualified healthcare professional. The hosts and contributors are not medical professionals and the information shared is based on personal experiences and discussions. These are real-life events. Always seek the guidance of your healthcare provider for any medical concerns or call 911 in an emergency. How to heal from trauma in a relationship, yours truly. Topics that we will discuss later in our podcast are how to heal from trauma in a relationship and how to rebuild your life after trauma. We'll talk about that too. How to heal from trauma without therapy. In this podcast, I'm here to open up and share my personal experiences about overcoming self-sabotage and navigating trauma healing. I want you, my friends, to know that you're not alone. If you or someone you know is going through similar struggles, I'd love to hear their stories because the impact of addiction hits close to home for my family, particularly with the father of my kids. I may not fully understand why he chose that path, but exploring the factors behind substance abuse can help others navigate their own struggles. So let's engage in discussions on effective healing strategies because as humans, we all have unique ways of coping with trauma. I'm here to offer support without judgment and to share advice based on my own experiences. Now let's rewind to one of my earliest memories, Signal Something Wasn't Normal. It takes me back to my adolescent years when I witnessed my father's struggle. As a child, I didn't comprehend what had happened, but I knew something was wrong. My dad had fallen off a moped in Cambodia and the aftermath seemed to have a lasting effect. Despite my love for my dad and the absence of physical harm, our home environment became more troubled. In this podcast, I'm here to open up and share my personal experiences about overcoming self-sabotage and navigating trauma healing. I want you, my friends, to know that you're not alone. If you or someone you know is going through similar struggles, I'd love to hear your stories. Let's continue to engage in discussions on effective healing strategies because as humans, we all have unique ways of coping with trauma. It takes me back to my adolescent years when I witnessed my father's struggle. As a child, I didn't comprehend what had happened, but I knew something was wrong. I heard that my dad had fallen off a moped in Cambodia and the aftermath seemed to have a lasting effect. Despite my love for my dad and the absence of physical harm, our home environment became more troubled. I recall a visitor asking about my dad's condition and all I could say was, I don't know. I think he hit a hole in the wall and it made him that way, adding meaning to what I only saw when I was questioned. At under four years old, the memories are fuzzy. As things became more complicated, my mom's friend stepped in to help get my dad the care he needed. He went to an adult home for monitoring and medication while my mom juggled two jobs and raising my sister and I. It was the beginning of my nightmares. In the podcast, I'm here to open up and share my personal experiences about overcoming self-sabotage and navigating trauma healing. I want you, my friends, to know you're not alone. I'd love to hear your stories, the impact of addiction, hits close to home, particularly with the father of my kids. I hope to invite my mom to share her perspective, providing clarity on what happened and insights into dealing with mental health challenges and adults coping with mental breakdowns and caring for someone with mental illness, caring for us as a single immigrant mom with no English Together, we can navigate these important discussions and foster understanding and support. I shared in my previous podcast how I wanted to go to school for psychology. While going to school for psychology could provide valuable and theoretical knowledge, my journey took a different path. I am that person who was in trauma, hands-on learning, and witnessing the complexities of how and what trauma unfolded in my own life. This weight of understanding these experiences was just devastating and demanding resilience and the development and improving in the right mindset. Navigating childhood trauma that extends into adulthood presented challenges that couldn't only be addressed through academic pursuit. Instead, my understanding was shaped by the day-to-day realities and the strength required to endure and persevere in the face of adversity. So as I share my friends, adversity in this home takes on various forms, manifesting through the challenges faced by family members. It can only include navigating the effects of childhood trauma, dealing with mental issues, and coping with the complexities of addiction. The struggles associated with these adversities create an environment where resilience and strength become essential attributes for overcoming obstacles and fostering healing. The dynamics of this home reflects a journey of endurance and transformation in the face of life's hardship. It is very crucial for individuals healing from trauma to seek healthier coping mechanisms, such as therapy, support groups, and other positive outlets. Addressing the root cause of this trauma and developing healthy coping strategies can contribute to long-term healing and emotional well-being. If you or someone you know is struggling with trauma, reach out to a mental health professional. Our support networks can make a significant difference in the healing journey. So calling all listeners, your voice matters in our peer-amending community. Share your stories, thoughts, or questions related to overcoming challenges, healing from trauma, or any topic discussed in our episode. Let's build a supportive space together. Drop a comment, send a message, or use our dedicated hashtag, PeerAmendingJourney. Your engagement fuels this conversation. Together, we're breaking the silence and fostering resilience. Join us on this empowering journey. I have to be honest, I had some things that happened along the way through this podcast journey. I didn't have everything in order, but this didn't stop me from launching to get this message to someone who may need it, even if I get one person. Yay! So you just finished another episode of PeerAmending Podcast. Did that just go way too fast for anyone else? If you're looking for support and a group of like-minded people to bounce ideas and ask questions, be sure to join my exclusive communities on Facebook. The links will be waiting for you in the captions and show notes listed here. Check back for our next episode in Episode 3, First-Generation Immigrant Struggles, Episode 3, First-Generation Immigrant Struggles, Growing Up as a First-Generation and Low-Income Asian American in the United States. Thanks for tuning in to PeerAmending Podcast. Your host, Linda Phan. If you want to continue the conversation or share your takeaways, I want to hear from you. Join our Facebook group today. Thank you! I can't wait to be friends and hear from you.