S02E13 Break It To Make It

The opinions expressed during this podcast are conversational in nature and expressed for comedic purposes. Not all the facts will be correct. This podcast and the incoherent rankings within are often satirical and for entertainment purposes only. Viewer discretion advised. That's right. It's another night. I'm not sure. Take my keys. Prepare yourself a drink. Sit back. Stay with us. Let's eat foxtail and junk. All right, guys. What's going on? Welcome in. Welcome back. Another episode of Not Sure. Take my keys. Lefty Bones here. Burning foxtail coming to us from the DFW. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. 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Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Good Dr. Junko. Let's pop this cherry. Oh, shit. I thought one of the letters said. Let's pop this cherry off. All right. So, we've ventured down to Palm Springs, Florida. Recently, there's been plans for an AIDS memorial statue, which is a beautiful thing. You know, commemorating those who have lost their lives to AIDS and HIV. A nine-foot statue. Designed more like not a statue of a person, but like a, you know... A statue. A memorial-type looking thing. Yes. A structure. A thing. It was... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So we have a circle. I'm assuming the articulation's on the outer edge? Yes. And that's the issue. Yes. Okay. So what about... Is there like a full... Is there an open hole through? Yeah. So it looks... One, with a less disturbed mind, could just say it looks like a donut. But the texture of it definitely looks like it's blown out over it. So... Yeah. So here's the inner circle. Here's the outer radius of it. My question is, does the inner circle have ridgings, or the outer edge has the ridgings? So on the front of it, it looks like... It's more straight lines, kind of a spiral-type pattern. That's not really the issue. It's the back of the statue where it's lines radiating out from the inner circle to the outer circle that look a lot like a starfish. Like a chocolate starfish. Yes. Okay. Very much. Yeah. And lemmyweaks could crawl in that thing and just go for a while. And this is to memorialize, like, butt sex and stuff like that, basically? I mean, that's how you get AIDS. That and sitting on a toilet seat. Yes. Well, I... You heard it from the doctor first. Well, doctor, we all have to... Breaking news. We got to... We have to... We need to... No, that's not the case. There ain't no way that you're going to get AIDS just because you sit on a toilet seat. All right, buddy. You go to your local Walmart. Go sit on that toilet seat. See what you get. Well, okay. I normally try not to sit on the Walmart toilet seats, but what I'm worried more about is the one that I have in my own home, doctor. Oh, no. I suppose you're probably not going to get it from that one. Okay. Thank you. All right. The Walmart... To be honest with you, like, I normally... Most of the time when I go into any kind of commercial facilities like that, I don't want to have to do any excrement or relieving of, like, liquids or lemonade, something like that, you know? So thank you for letting me know, because if I really had to on the worst end of everything to decide... Like, I'm at Marshall's, you know, and I got to go... I got to duke. I got to duke it out. So should I lay down a gasket then? So basically, doctor, what I need you to answer me on this is, do I need to lay down those gaskets that I used to, Mr. Foxtail, I used to make fun of people for? So is this... I mean, you're old now. Yeah. Either that or you got to hover. I don't know how strong your thigh muscles are. Like, I don't know if you... They're like a brick house. If you can hover, you can do that. Or you can jump up on the seat. Okay. Okay. This looks like a good prescription right there. That's a prescription for safety. Yeah. That's the best kind. What about if I'm explosive? Highly Mexican food out style. Okay. So I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to lie. 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Is that what he said or is that what you said? That's what the guy being interviewed in Palm Beach, Florida said, and I quote, it's really strange. That dude was just, he was fucking around, man. That's like, come on. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. 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I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. Oh, no. Big Sur is up. It's like before San Francisco. Yeah. And it's just, there's not much to it other than it's rocky and you can take a lot of photo ops from there. But, yeah, it was kind of boring. I was like... You didn't know where... You didn't know where... In my brain, in my brain I had equated Big Sur with, like, Big Surf. I was picturing surfers in California, or, well, Hawaii and shit. You know I'm not a seasoned traveler. No, that's weird. You didn't know where Lake Tahoe is either. Like, every episode we find out how stupid you are. Yeah, I'm pretty geographically challenged, I guess. I don't fucking know. That's true. You never leave your house, so it makes sense. Hard to know where shit is. But I know my toilet seat's safe. That's true. All right, speaking of world travelers, I know that, you know, Comptroller and Mr. Fox has been to Japan. I found a story out of Nagano, Japan, which is apparently a very small village that's seen, like, a lot of depopulation over the past couple decades, and a resident decided to do something about it. Once again, something that was done with good intentions, I think, but may have missed the mark a little bit. So Tsukimi Ayano has decided that she was going to repopulate the town, not by being a promiscuous whore, but instead by creating life-size dolls and placing these dolls throughout the town and various, you know, doing different activities that you may see happening in a small village. And it is fucking terrifying, fellas. If you look at the pic, like, that's scary shit. That's like some M. Night Shyamalan type bullshit going on there. My comment on this is, this is a Japanese grandma here. She's got a good heart. I get what she's trying to do. The problem that scares me the most is none of these dolls look Japanese at all. They look like they took Precious Moments dolls, those porcelain dolls that you get in Branson, Missouri, and then extrapolated on. It basically looks like just a whole bunch of, like, old, overweight white people with, like, big dicks and, like, heavy foreheads. That's what scares the hell out of me, is the fact that, like, I get her genuine thing, but it's like, why did you go to the extreme of putting Western-world-looking dolls up in there? Like, that, to me, is a mental health issue. That sucks. I can't get the heart to come up. I get what she's trying to do. I can see it. I'm trying, though. It's up on your phone. I did. It won't come up, so I'm trying to look on my computer. But I don't want to see the main picture with the three dolls. They do look like Cabbage Patch kids, like Garbage Pail kids. I don't know. Like, Western-influenced chicks, right? Yeah, from, like, when we were kids. Yeah. It's fuckin' weird how they're, like, around the city and in classrooms and stuff. Yeah. The ones that really stood out to me were making a schoolroom setting in what is, obviously, an abandoned schoolroom, but if you just stumble upon that shit, it, like, dusts. It's, like, 7.30, the sun's just getting ready to go down, and you stumble upon this building, and you're like, oh, I'm gonna go check out, see what's going on inside here. And as the sun slips below the horizon, you turn the corner into that classroom, with those Michael Myers-looking fuckin' dolls sitting in there. Whoa. No, no, no. Whoa, Lord. Like, back in the day, when you used to, like, hunt for graffiti and stuff. That's what we used to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'd be like, oh, this is, man, this is a quiet-ass town. Let's go and check this shit out. Check out this. Go walk through here. Shine the light. Nope. Immediately. That would be a problem. That'd be a big problem. If you like to go to Japan, you should fuckin' go there and go in that school. That would be awesome. I'd rather stay in Tokyo or go to... I need, like, months in Tokyo. Absolutely, I would love to check that out. It's super cool that she went through the effort to do this. You know, it's also kinda sad that their little village is dying and everything, but... Does she come from that village normally? Like, was she... Yeah, no, she lived there whenever she was younger. She had moved away and then moved back. Ah, there we go. She moved back and she realized how hollow it was, you know? Just kinda... I know Japan's one of those cultures that, like, the population's shrinking, and especially in the smaller villages, everyone's going to the city, so I'm sure that this is a fairly common occurrence, the depopulation of the villages, not the creepy-ass cabbage patch dolls being everywhere. But I was, once again. You're absolutely right. The features of them range from, like, Charlie Brown to Caillou to Michael Myers. Yeah, none of them are the same. Westerners. No, there's a certain... Genesis. Okay, I don't remember the name of the author, but the sideways stories from wayside schools, do you remember those books from, like, being, like, middle school maybe? Anyway, if any of the listeners out there are familiar with the sideways stories from wayside school or wayside schools falling down, the art in that book, in those books, very much the characters very much remind me of these dolls. I think she would have been better served just being the whore. I think people would have liked it better. Just making, just repopulating the village the old-fashioned way. Yeah. It would have been... I would think people would have just liked it more. Would have been less creepy. So you're calling her a whore now? The artist of this? Is that what we're getting at? No. Okay. No. Then why? I said it would have been better if she was. Okay. The artist? Yes. Okay. Zucchini. What was her name? Zucchini? Zucchini? Letty is actually really good with his Japanese pronunciations. Zucchini Ayama. I do what I can. I've seen karate kid a lot of times. In real life, at work, we got this, like we're in this program, we're trying to like make things flow better in the company or whatever, and we got the leader, and he's wanting to like tell... Basically, at our work, we're in these classes with this guy on team meetings, and he wants to use Japanese terms for stuff, because it's like sounds kind of cool to us little fucking idiots, you know? They don't know Japanese. It just sounds cool. So he goes through his little fucking PowerPoint for a while, doing this, gemba, this, doing the Japanese words, but then he gets to one of them, and he's like, pokayoke. And at that point, I'm like, yep, that guy, he just lost it there for a second. There ain't no yolk out there. Basically, it's pokayoke, but the word is Y-O-K-E. You know, there ain't no L in there. Yolk, you know, so you're going to put it in there. So I just thought it was kind of funny, but at the end of the day, I'm not a professional Japanese. There was Keiko Morgan in Grand Valley High School that taught me very well on pronunciating Japanese, so I laughed way too loud in that, and I wasn't even muted. So I kind of made that guy feel foolish. I might be demoted next week or whatever. But yeah, it's pokayoke. Pokayoke. Pokayoke. Not pokayoke. Pokayoke. All right, jumping into the world of sports here lightly, Philadelphia Phillies have committed, in my mind, a federal crime against the Americans with Disabilities Act here that has denied one of their patrons access to a ballgame. They would not let their emotional support animal in with them, and I will not stand for this autocratic authoritarianism against the American public, and I want you guys to know about it too. I'm smelling tyranny here, Lefty. That wasn't his dog? What's going on? It reeks of tyranny. No, it wasn't his dog. They wouldn't let his emotional support alligator in, and I am fucking hurt by it. I'm angry about it. I am kind of angry about that too because, and this is what, is this a baseball game, a football game? What are we talking about here? Yeah, it's a baseball game. Philadelphia Phillies were playing the Pittsburgh Pirates here. It's been about a week ago, so kind of old news. But yeah, they wouldn't let the guy in with his emotional support alligator whose name, listen, I know you're thinking junk. I can see it in your eyes. You're like, oh, alligators are dangerous. The alligator's name is Wallygator. That's not a dangerous alligator name. It's not like Thrasher or fucking Nibbles or something. It's Wallygator. I mean, you can name the fucking thing whatever you want. You can name it fucking Pocahontas. Teddy bear? It doesn't matter. It can still fucking be. Wait, wait. You can name it what? Pocahontas. Pocahontas? Okay. Sorry, we were just talking about Japan, so it made me think of Pocahontas. Okay. It doesn't matter. All right. Yes. All right, doctor. I'm sorry. Go ahead. I'm sorry. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. It's terrible. I don't know why you would have an emotional support alligator. It doesn't make any sense. This dude is a crock of shit. There you go. There you go. We got to break this down a little bit, though, doctor, before we fucking pun it out. We got to break it down a little bit. Okay. Normally, everybody's got what? A cat? A dog? Is that the basics? Is that all we're going to be? Peacock? Squirrel? Wombat? Yeah. Various other marsupials? Yeah. I mean, it's generally a dog or a cat. Yeah. I think this is the only person in the world that has an emotional support alligator. And then we need to go ahead and be prejudiced against them? No. I think we just need to realize that the dude just wants attention. Well, there's no doubt. Okay. So, let me go ahead and fill in a little bit of the backstory, because I think you may have cracked the code. Okay. I think so, too. Walligator is famous. Walligator is famous. Walligator is a famous alligator on Instagram. Wally is Insta-famous. He's IG? Is IG qualified? All right. He's IG qualified for sure, and this may have been, may have been, I don't want to cast aspersions here, may have been a publicity stunt more than Instagram. For our listeners out there, we are behind one. We did a bye week. We need to be better for you guys. We need to disclose our bye weeks prior to our episode listening. So, that was during the break. So, still be friends with us. Still be friends. Yeah. Don't leave us because we're behind. Yeah. Don't leave us because we're behind a little bit. I've been angry about it for this entire time, though, just to let everybody know. Like, this anger has been burning within me for a week and a half. Last week? So, look. Walligator is famous for Instagram and likes to give hugs. His mouth? Isn't that the kind of alligator? Well, how? Yes, like mouth hugs. But how? How would you? I'm like, how is he going to give a hug? He doesn't have a mouth. So, I guess he can only hug with his mouth. He's got a point. He's got a point. Like, you know, to be able to, I guess you've got to snoodle it over the top. But then you'd be like, ah, I got it in your face. I don't know. Did they actually, Lefty, did they actually disclose any way of how we could, like, hang out with him? Or he's just straight an outlaw. He's an outlaw. No, he's an outlaw gator. He's a straight outlaw. I actually heard that after he was denied entry, the gator broke up out of there and is now roaming the streets of Philadelphia in a rage. He's snapped them fucking leash strings and fucking walked on out. Now I'm walking on out, boy. You wouldn't get a fucking stand for it. Is this another reason Philadelphia fucking sucks? Fuck you, Philadelphia, and your rigid anti-reptile laws. Don't say that yet. I have to see it first. We'll be there in three weeks. In three weeks we'll be there. It's the city of brotherly love. All right, same in the world of sports here. Just the other night, the Chiefs and the Jets played Sunday Night Football. It's kind of a boring ass little display. I don't want to really get into it just yet, but I do want to touch on something else. Aaron Rodgers, Jets quarterback, who played for 14 seconds earlier this year before tearing his Achilles, went on the podcast with McAfee and decided to take a shot at Travis Kelsey talking about how the Jets defense, he said we, like he had any part of it. He took a shot at him. He said we locked up. You can't do that when you're up in the box laid out. He's just sitting up there talking about we locked up Mr. Pfizer. He called Travis Kelsey Mr. Pfizer because he's doing his COVID vaccine commercials. There's a lot to unpack here, so I want to get a little bit of an instant reaction from you guys before I start my little rant. We got to start with Dr. He was up in the box. I assume it was the Woody Johnson tweet. Yeah. The owner of the Jets. Yeah, he was in his box. He was there to Johnson and Johnson, which also is like a direct competitor with Mr. You know, with Pfizer. Like, the whole thing is he wants to call him Mr. Pfizer. Well, he's Mr. Hypocrite because he's also Mr. Douchebag. I fucking hate Aaron Rodgers. Fuck off. Hey, Doc. Doc. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. 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