Mindful Mentor Podcast - The importance of men's mental health

The podcast episode discusses the importance of men's mental health and the personal experience of the host's uncle's suicide. The host reflects on his initial confusion and disbelief upon receiving the news, his feelings of guilt for not being able to help his uncle, and the impact on his family. He emphasizes the need for men to express their emotions and seek support, as well as providing a suicide hotline number for those in need. What's going on? Welcome to the Mindful Moments podcast where we discuss the importance of mental health and personal experiences I've dealt with and how I became stronger from these events. This is your mindful mentor, Nicholas Coronado, and I'm here to guide you through my personal experiences with my uncle's battle with mental health, and I'm here to explain to you why it is important for men's mental health to be brought to light. So fast forward to December 2022, where I'm in my freshman year of college at Adams State University in Alamosa, Colorado, where I spent most of my fall into the winter there, you know, phone calls with my uncle. And December comes around, you know, winter break is a thing. So I head home, I plan on heading home, and I'm packing my bag, getting ready for everything. I get a phone call from my dad. And I didn't answer it. It was my phone was plugged in. So I'm packing my bags, and I just, you know, chose I'd call him later. And I go to call my mom and my dad, and they both say that they're going into meetings for work. So, you know, I kind of was like, okay, so kept going on about my day, happy that I passed a math exam that I was stressing over for weeks. So passed math, and I was extremely excited. Around seven o'clock, I say, very cold outside, very snowy. I get a call from my dad again, didn't answer, plugged in the phone. I was like, I'll call him later. I just finished packing. And he texts me and says, call me when you can. So you know, I figured it was pretty important, it was pretty an emergency. So I call my dad, and I could hear the sadness in his voice off the rip. So just wanted to hear what he had to say to me, and you know, hear what he had to get off his chest. And he, the first thing he tells me is, we took an emergency flight to Arizona. First thing that triggered through my mind was my great grandma, she's, I believe, 93, 94 years old. So you know, I'm like, I'm pretty upset, I'm thinking it's her, wasn't the case. He said, no, grandma's fine. So second thing that goes through my head was my grandpa, his dad, who fought colon cancer two years ago, and I was like, oh no, no way, he came back. That wasn't the case. So now I'm kind of, you know, left hanging dry. So kind of waiting for my dad to, you know, tell me what it is, and you know, I could hear him start crying, and I'm like, what's going on? He said my uncle, Frankie Coronado, hung himself, you know, shock, ran through my body instantly. It was kind of, you know, confusion, had everything going through my mind, not sure what to really think at the time, because I didn't believe it. So I was like, my first response was, what are you saying? He said it again, and I hear him crying, and my mom's in the background, and I was like, are we serious? I started asking questions, like, what's going on, like, why is this happening, this and that? And my dad said he didn't know, and my dad's crying, obviously, it's a brother, brother, you know, relationships are different than just being a friend or like a relative. Like, that's my uncle, so, you know, it kind of hit home. So I'm, you know, I start breaking down and crying, but I'm really thinking about everything that really goes into it, like, why? Why did this happen? What caused this? And those are just answers that, you know, sometimes you just don't get, so coming to the realization of that, it was tough. First thing was to contact my cousin's, his children, so my older cousin, texted her just to make sure she was okay, because I know that's tough, that was his first kid. My other cousin's, they're babies, so kind of just called to make sure they're okay, my other cousin, she's about 17 years old, just to check on her, and it was just tough, you know, not being able to be at home, kind of being alone in Colorado, very cold, you know, snowy, everything, so I'm kind of thinking that my flights are going to be delayed because of the snow, how heavy it was. So my dad tells me how he does it, he hung himself, confused as ever, never, never thought this would be, never thought this would be even a thing in my life, you know, I've known people that dealt with mental health issues, contemplating suicide, and you know, I was kind of an outlet for them, and the first thing that I wanted was to, I just always want to help somebody, and for my uncle, you know, to do that, I felt like, you know, I could have been someone that maybe could have helped him, but again, some people just go through things where they are too deep in a hole, where they can't express how they really feel, and that's the tough part about everything, just wanting to be there for my siblings, my cousins, and everybody all at one time, but knowing that I couldn't because I'm at school, and I'm, you know, have finals to do, it was tough. So coming home, being able to sit with my family, talk about everything, seeing everybody for the first time, you know, it was very emotional, it's tough to see my dad like that, never want to, it's tough to see some of my cousins like that too, not even cousins, my cousins from Arizona, my uncle's from Arizona, Tucson, Arizona, but cousins from California that maybe weren't even that close to him, but the impact that he had on them, he was a very big family man, showed, expressed a lot of love for everybody, so it hurt almost about the entire family, people that maybe, you know, didn't really know him, didn't really have like an effect, it didn't have an effect on them, but my, mostly everybody I saw that Saturday I returned back home was pretty upset. Fast forward to around January 7th, move, go down to Arizona, super early in the morning, get there, and it's really off, you know, having to see my cousins, it was tough because, you know, my baby cousins not knowing what happened to their dad was the most heartbreaking thing to see, and next day, the funeral went there, I was honored to be a Paul Berry to carry my uncle to, you know, his last destination, and that was probably one of the most important things, and to see him for the last time, you know, brought a lot of closure to me, and we, as a family, you know, try to honor him every day, just to remember him, talk about, you know, events, my cousin always tells me that I have some traits from my uncle, how I walk, I'm not sure how to really look at that, but, you know, at least someone can see my uncle every day, like, whether that's little things like my walk, jokes, picking on, like, my sister, she always remembers that, and me, I think everybody in the family, we all have chains with him on it, with his picture, I just received a new one, I picked a gold one up, so that's, you know, wearing that every day, some of us have tattoos with his name or something to remember him, and just that story has brought so much to my mind where I want to be an outlet for somebody, and especially men's mental health, and, you know, the reason why it's important, and I feel like it's important because men's mental health isn't something that everybody talks about, especially because men don't feel comfortable with expressing how they feel because they want to live this persona where they want to be tough and think they can't open up because they're going to get picked on or they're going to get judged on how they feel. Mental health means everything to me because, one, my uncle and me not wanting this to ever happen again, or I don't want anybody to ever have to deal with this. I feel like it's important for men to express how they feel rather than hold it in because it could lead to permanent decisions, for example, my uncle, you know, I feel like he could have reached out to somebody, but he must have felt some type of way where he couldn't, and overall, just want to express this podcast is to help everyone understand that they aren't alone and that they're being, that me being a mentor to many, that they can be comfortable with expressing how they feel, reach out to me, whether that's male or female. If you ever feel alone, a weight on your chest, cloudiness in your head, please reach out. There are sources to help you. You are meant to be on this earth, and we love you. If you ever need a contact, an emergency, 988 is the dial a suicide and crisis hotline. I want you to know that you are loved and you are wanted. Thank you for tuning in, and catch you guys next time on the next episode. Peace.