Ep. 02: Big Sniff

You're thicker than a sticker You get real sad when you see your own picture The show is called Baby Bear It ain't nowhere inside of here The show is called Baby Bear It ain't nowhere inside of here The show is called Baby Bear Motherfuckin' show is ridiculous The show is called Baby Bear Welcome back to BabyFat How fun was that first episode? At least for me I mean, got a lot of positive feedback It's, um, right now, currently, it's not even published, like, to the public or whatever I've sent out a copy of it to my close friends and confidants and some family And it's just been nothing but love And it just really, really warms my heart I mean, I've cried tears of joy I've listened to it probably five, six times in total That's just how narcissistic I am It was just great, though And I've been chomping at the bit to get back on the mic And another one laid down And then here I have some time on this Saturday afternoon Did everything I needed to do for the day I executed my program How great is that? Being back on the program It's just, you know, that feeling when you got your work done And, uh, I just couldn't get the motivation I mean, of course, you know me I went and got my ex-presso I say it ax-me how I say ex-presso es-presso I need to work on that I noticed that in that first episode I said ex-presso And, um, I'm on a little ex-presso A little extracurricular for y'all And, again, it's my crutch I'm going to be leaning on this crutch for these first few episodes Because I'm scared, y'all This is, um, scary And I'm not exactly sure why But it makes me nervous And, uh, yeah Like I said, I've been chomping at the bit I mean, the next day After I listened to that first episode Probably like two times, two or three times that first night And I had a celebratory beer It was great, a great feeling to create And I was like, the next day I was like, I should do another one I had all these thoughts And all day long I'm thinking Save this for the cast Don't waste it Just kept having all these ideas And that's been happening all week long And it's going to be a shame To me, how much I don't get to share with you guys All those thoughts throughout the week This will be a great thing to lay down And there's just no way I can remember it I mean, I'm making notes You know, I was speaking of I was supposed to start this With my nicknames Most of them given to me by myself You know, I'm the Van Gogh of podcasting The Hispanic Express I actually got that one from a coach I got it after our jamboree My freshman year He had a really good showing at this jamboree And it's a coach, actually, that I hated We'll get into that Coach Qualls I can still hear his windbreaker pants He wore them every day His steps He was a little guy But he could palm a basketball And he could dunk Or like, no, no I don't know if he could palm a basketball He probably had tiny little hands He was vertical, though I think he could dunk But maybe that's why I'm thinking he couldn't palm a basketball Because maybe it was hard for him to actually dunk Because of his tiny little hands But I hated the dude He wasn't a good coach I was about to say, who's a good coach? No, he was a fucking terrible coach He ran his scheme through Madden That's something I think would be a good idea And I'm not a good coach I mean, I'm a great fantasy football coach Not even I fucking keep losing But yeah, he was just a fucking There's I keep censoring myself I'm not an edgy person But I listen to a lot of edgy shit Like, I'm into comedy podcasts heavy The Philly scene is the fucking greatest in the world right now All the Philly podcasts are just so fucking good I look forward to them every week And of course, the Kings at the top Matt and Shane Who moved to Austin recently But they'll always still be Philly The Philly comedy scene is just so good Followed by New York You know, Gas Digital, all that shit Can't remember what I was even talking about Or where I was going What I was pissed off about God damn it Don't you guys hate that? I mean, I felt like I was building momentum And then The rug just Qualls That's who it was Thanks for the expresso So Qualls Horrible coach Ran his scheme through Madden That's how he came up with new plays The Hispanic Express Yeah, that's what I was talking about He gave me that nickname And it was because I had a really good jamboree And for those of you that don't know Anybody that's going to listen to this immediately You do know My family, my homies You probably know what the jamboree is But for those of you who don't If this ever gets to those of you Who knows Maybe this will actually have an audience Someday And The Hispanic Express came from the jamboree I'm really losing track today But anyway, the jamboree is where Four local teams came together You know, high school football teams Came together and scrimmaged each other Before our actual first game of the season And so We ran like a set number Number of plays On offense and defense And I got in On a few plays on defense and got a sack On their quarterback, forced a fumble And just looked really good I had a really good showing It didn't translate to anything this season I didn't letter my freshman year So that means I wasn't going to be a four-year letterman He just sent me down a path of You know, whatever He gave me the nickname The Hispanic Express in the circle after the game You know, we gather around He's like, well done lads You really fought hard tonight You had a lot of good showing Whatever, it came up and he gave me that nickname And that's where that stupid story came from I'm going down my self-imposed podcast Nicknames in my notes app The Hispanic Express The Brown Noise That's funny, since I'm making some noise and I'm brown Nate the Great I called myself Nate the Great I was actually I was a magician And I just Stole the name from A children's series A detective Nate the Great was a little detective And it was Must have been recommended reading For my age at the time I was not learning how to read I just learned how to read though So real entry level stuff guys So if you're looking for a good read That's my recommendation Check out Nate the Great I'm not even sure if that's what it's called I think it's Nate the Great and then like some title Like a different title each time But he's a detective And I wasn't a detective yet Still not, but I was a magician In, what was it, first grade? No, second grade Mrs. Weathers class Riverside, California And Nate the Great was my stage name I performed three Tricks at our talent show I messed up my last one And from what I'm told They're probably just blowing smoke up my ass They're like, nobody even noticed Because I did finish out the trick But the penny did like slip out Or it did something The trick just didn't go flawlessly And After the show I cried And I was just so embarrassed Because I knew I messed up And that's just a little peek at me I'm a bit of a perfectionist When I want something to go right I really want it to go right And if anything One little slip up It can really ruin something for me Something I need to work on But anyway That was the nickname Nate the Great That's not one given to me It's not preferred either I don't know why Maybe it's the hard R at the end I'm not sure but I've never loved being called Nader I don't care, call me Nader all you want It's just not my I don't know, not my preferred nickname Naderade, that's something my girl calls me I don't know where she came I mean, I know where she came up with it, Gatorade But yeah, she just called me at one night And it's kind of stuck Nestor, that's what they called me in Mexico Because they couldn't say Nathan They can't do the TH very well They can do Nathan I hear that a lot from my Mexican family Or my Grandpa Francisco So It was easier for them to call me Nestor So some of them call me Nestor Nado, no Not the North American treaty organization That's causing so much trouble Even today Shout out Ukraine Nado I was called that in middle school I think people started calling me Nado I don't mind Nado I think Nado is sick I used it for video games a lot I would put that as my Why am I blanking on a clever way to say my name In a video game I don't know, Sal I love that one And that one is really personal Obviously it's my last name Salgado Which All of you out there A lot of you wouldn't know that I didn't even go by my last name Growing up Because I felt some disconnect from my father He wasn't there for me He pieced that on my mom when I was 9 months old So I hold that resentment Against him And so I Didn't go by my real last name Through school I went by my little brother Alex's dad's last name Who was there During my formative years When I learned how to write my name That's part of the reason I went by that But mostly it's because I was like Fuck that guy, fuck that last name Even as a young kid And so Sal My friends when they call me Sal now I love it It's a real term of endearment for me I only have a few friends that call me Sal But God I love it And I love my real last name And I love that I've embraced that I love that I've gotten to connect With my Mexican family I didn't have that chance growing up And it's one of the biggest Robberies of my life I've had the chance to Visit with them and stay with them a few different times now And God I really missed out They're party animals They're great cooks They have a whole fucking community That I missed out on And it's a real shame At least Gosh I don't know 28 years 29 years I missed out on Before I got to connect with them It will still never be As tight as we could have been I'm tight with I'm really tight with my cousin Eduardo But I love all My family It's such a joy To meet them and like Be around people that it's like oh my god that's me Oh there's me too And just see these like Legit familiar faces Because it's my face It was just such a beautiful thing To connect with them And my brother and sisters out in Arizona My dad's got a grip of kids He doesn't take care of any of them He's got like I don't know I'd really have to sit down and think of it 13, 14, 15, 16 Number of kids And he's still having kids And it's We'll get into him As you can tell Even in these first two episodes he's come up a lot And he comes up every day Because you know he wasn't there for me It's just The cross I was born to bear I guess I don't know Really shaped who I am Speak of my last name I don't know It means salt It puts a fucking salty taste in my mouth Every god damn day Anyway let's go to the next DJ Salsa So I got divorced I don't know Let's see Eight, nine years ago And I actually didn't get divorced then That wasn't official until a few years ago That's a different story Whatever I became a DJ after I separated And it was a great time I worked for this guy He was actually our high school janitor DJ Todd Fellows Just such a nice guy He really is A thoughtful person too And I worked for him for a bit He just had In my small community where I came from I guess there wasn't a lot of DJ's So he had too many gigs And he needed to expand And I was one of the first persons One of the first persons That he asked to To DJ for him Like kind of under his umbrella Under his name With his equipment So I just had to show up and play music And play karaoke for people And it was a good time You know get free drinks all night At my local bar which was literally I don't know 75 yards from my apartment Back door Love that one This is one I came up with The other day The Mexican Water Moccasin And that's a homage To Luis J Gomez The Puerto Rican Rattlesnake And Dalton Pruitt The Caucasian Copperhead It really started with Luis It's one of his nicknames And I mentioned earlier One of the goals of this podcast Is to fight Luis J Gomez And as I said you know exactly what I'm talking about If you listen to Gas Digital You know Luis is always looking for a fight Or he's getting into a fight with a fellow comedian And it's just a way for him To stay in shape and work towards a goal And I mentioned In the test file That hasn't aired or won't ever air And I haven't shared with many people It was only like 5 minutes long When I first got this equipment I was just messing around with it I mentioned that me and Luis We have a lot of parallels To our life His dad wasn't around for him He's Puerto Rican I'm Mexican He's like 8 or 9 years older than me But he grew up poor Single mother Just a lot of different parallels He's a really hard worker And he's really made a name for himself The whole nickname thing Is actually an homage to him Because he's got a million different nicknames The Point Garter Podcast He's the East Coast Joe Rogan That's not even a nickname That's just facts And he has his own podcast network Gas Digital He's one of the co-hosts of Lesionist Gangs He hosts the Real Ass Podcast And he's just A real ass dude And I would love to be Recognizable enough In this space That he would want to fight me I think it would be A great challenge for him Because I'll circle back to Weirdly we have the same exact body type Something probably about our Hispanic heritage And we even Gain and lose weight Together Weirdly on some Psycho pseudo path I'm just making up words Because it doesn't make sense to me How when Luis is chubby I'm chubby And Luis is weight That's something with me But anyway I'm the I can't even remember now The Mexican Water Moccasin I'm also the John Gruden of fantasy football Whatever that means I just thought of it the other day When I was making this list And lastly I'm the podcast industry plant Somebody plant me Come on let's blow this thing up Thanks for coming back I really really do appreciate it And Sorry a big throat clear Into the mic This is a good mic I mentioned this the other day When I got a call from my best friend Burns Who I'm so surprised didn't come up In the first episode Neither did my brother Jevin Which I guess we'll have to get into him too But Burns he's such a good guy He literally When we moved to Missouri When I was in It was at the tail end of third grade There was like a few days before the last quarter Of the year started A couple weeks into living In Missouri Burns knocked me Actually it was a couple months probably Because we had just Not just moved out of my aunt Angie's house We had to live with her for a little bit My mom had a sister that lived in Missouri And we moved in with her And we eventually got an apartment Well a couple months into that And still going to school One morning Before school I was close enough and really The town that I grew up in You know from the age seven on Or eight on Whenever it was that I moved to Missouri It's not very big You can practically walk to school If you live in town You know no matter where you live It's a pretty long But I guess there would be some Some houses that would be a pretty long walk But anyway I wasn't a part of that I was pretty close I literally Lived in an apartment right on main street I think it's actually where Is it where the radio station is now? Something But anyway it was a nice little Uptown apartment And Burns came a knocking one day before school And asked my mom To walk me to school What a swell individual And since that day He's always been like that to me He's just a great dude And we'll get into Burns And Burns is going to be on here And he called me After the first episode And Burns has always been Hard on me in a good way He can really Know what to say to me And doesn't Doesn't lie to me He'll tell me the truth He'll crush my dreams One time I asked Burns We were living together Really young right out of high school Like a year out of high school And I was like dude And I always talk shit my whole life Growing up that I was going to be an actor I was going to be rich and famous That's what I wanted to do And I go Burns He's like do you think I can make it Do you think I'm talented enough To be an actor And make it in Hollywood And without barely skipping a beat He's like no No I don't And it crushed my soul And like Who the fuck is he It's on me at that point to be like no the fuck I can And if I really wanted it I would have Proved him wrong It's not something I really want I don't think I'm still going to get discovered And just have a late career in life In the acting field Part of me does believe that That's how delusional I am But Burns He didn't hesitate To you know In his way really just try to guide me To a reality check And he was probably thinking like dude You're not even Paying your share of rent You have to sign over your whole entire check In the shoe store and it's still not enough You still owe me money every month motherfucker Like that's probably where it's really coming from Not from a place of He didn't believe in me or something like that And maybe it was but either way Burns is a realist And I've always appreciated that about him So he calls me the other day After the first episode And he was like you know what Yeah you know I saw your Podcast or I don't even know He didn't even say it like that He was like I saw the podcast or I listened to the podcast And at first I thought you know 35 year old guy starting a podcast You know what he didn't even finish that He was like but I listened to the whole thing And I thought it was really good And to me dude Awesome No higher compliment Burns approves Burns thinks it's good Like hell yeah brother Thank you dude I know from you It must have been alright And for real guys Look at this like it's not easy To just get on and rip on a microphone For an entire hour And I accidentally did an entire hour Or 59 minutes and whatever seconds Not even trying I just kind of ran out of steam and was like Yeah this is baby fat guys you know And then said goodbye I'm a fucking natural dude I laid down an hour the first time I did this fucking thing I can do it And all it is at this point is showing up in consistency You know I can do it I'm going to fucking do it this thing is going to stick So shout out Burns Steve Montgomery Burns I'm not going to completely dox him But his nickname is badass Or not nickname middle name But yeah dude I appreciate you Thank you love you brother And so that's the end of my Nicknames for now Maybe you guys can send in Some nicknames if you've already Come up with some for me Again the email is Babyfatpod at gmail.com Again all your questions comments Concerns manifestos Fattois send them my way I'm always open Now let's lean on the notes I guess this has been alright I'm not going to look at the clock yet Just like if I'm on the treadmill during my program I guess I'll just talk about my program today Big sniff in the mic That was one thing I wanted to work on dang it What's that for my mom I think we're shallow breathers This is what I told her one day when I was thinking about it Or maybe I heard this somewhere And it just made sense to me I don't take deep enough breaths I'm a shallow breather that every once in a while We, me, my mom, my brother Alex Will just take like a big loud sniff To get our oxygen back To where it needs to be Or something I don't know Or maybe it's some kind of nervous habit But either way I'm sorry guys Because from time to time I just You know No I'm not taking a bump This would probably I don't know if it would be more interesting or not Probably not But it's just something I got from my mom So bear with me I haven't leaned on the notes yet So I must be doing alright At least for my low bar It's a fucking podcast It's a low bar of entry You know Yeah And I was going to say that on the burn spiel I told him when we were calling And he was giving me the feedback It's not for you though This is for me The byproduct of you guys listening to it And the positive feedback Eventual negative feedback once the internet gets their hands on it That's all just a byproduct Like this is This is for me And again my posterity I'm going to listen to it in my deathbed And my kids are going to listen to it to get a better idea of me Because I always have to play this Authoritarian figure Not always A lot of times I'm always making them laugh Or trying to make them laugh Things like that But they don't get to see inside the eye of my mind Shout out Gagged on their name Shout out Oasis But I haven't leaned on the notes yet But I'm going to hit some cell phone notes that I've made To move this thing along We already got into one of them Cool How delusional I was that I think I'm going to get discovered Like late in life That's possible Anything is fucking possible But yeah It's just a peek into my delusion I have a note here that says No one can handle me What does that mean? Sorry guys But it's What I mean to say is As a leader Probably I don't think I'm a very good leader I always thought I would be In athletics And not just athletics But any kind of organized anything I was always trying to be the leader Or at least a part of The leading team Or the leading aspect of things But when the rubber hits the road I don't know if I'm a good leader I really don't know if I got The qualities in me to Give a fuck about other people enough To want them to succeed You know Certainly not more than me I'm already thinking like that Maybe I'm too selfish But I think ultimately What I meant by that and what comes after that In my notes is that I'm a lone wolf And I didn't know that until I got older I always Always had the homies over Always had somebody over Some kind of security blanket thing for me I guess Always having to either be at a friend's house Or have friends around after a certain age And now In my Even early 20's is where it started Where I just couldn't wait for people to go home At a certain point Maybe I burnt myself out young I don't know I think more of it is just like I'm a lone wolf It's lonely Certainly at times but I prefer it I really do I prefer to go places I travel a lot For work, different jobs I have no problem eating at a restaurant By myself Don't have to worry about anybody else Going places Not having to worry Just having to get myself home At the end of the night It's nice But Yeah I guess that's all I have to say About that for now But I'm a lone wolf you should know that about me I have another one Fawnsworth Bentley I guess that's part of the current events That I was thinking about Do you guys remember Fawnsworth Bentley He's the guy that used to hold the umbrella for Diddy Like there's that famous picture of Diddy walking on the beach And he's got this dude He's dressed up as a butler With white gloves on And he's holding an umbrella to shade Diddy Where's he at? He knows what went on I briefly googled it To try to look into it For this cast I guess a week or so ago Probably when I made that note And him and Diddy Parted ways a while back And I didn't care enough to Dive deep to see what happened But Fawnsworth Bentley He knows You guys want to know the truth about Diddy? Ask Fawns I'm telling you So how do you wake up in the morning? Like You wake up and you're conscious right away You don't have to Take a second to get your bearings Like my girls My BBG Takes her like 10 minutes To be like ready for conversation And just actually all the way with it And I see it in my kids There's a couple of my kids that will wake up And they're just shark eyes For a few minutes Up to 10 minutes sometimes Before they're Like my daughter Vanessa Won't even talk for a little bit I'm like oh yeah she's just not talking yet She's not fully awake guys She's like they boot up It's so peculiar to me because I'm the type of guy As soon as I wake up The lights turn on upstairs I'm just as conscious then As I will be I'm the most conscious Then it's only going to go downhill From there from substance abuses Like you know Alcohol is going to make me not as awake Obviously But once I'm woke up I'm awake And I'm curious to know Like the in between How do you guys wake up? That's a Pause sounds a little perverted Not trying to do that But I mean what's your order of operation? This came up on another podcast And I'm going to do that because I'm a podcast head I'm a podcast nerd I'm always going to be talking about what I heard on another podcast Mainly because I always have an earbud In my ear listening to one Most of the time My friends and family will attest to it My BBG will tell you how much she hates it Or she'll be like are you listening to a podcast? Do you even listen to me? I get that all the time Because yeah I am I'm listening to war mode Forget about it Anyway It came up on the bath house Which is Danny Polishuk's call in show Live at the stand Every Tuesday night And he usually has a few comics with him And anybody can call in I haven't called in yet I'm not a long time listener I've been listening for several months Probably longer than a few months I've been listening I just got turned on to it late I'm always open to a new podcast And that's what BabyFat's for BabyFat's for those people that have Cycled through Run out of new shows New follows Or maybe somebody just doesn't hit like they used to anymore And you're unsubscribed And unfollowed Or however your settings work And you need to fill that time slot What the hell was I talking about? Oh no it happened again Is my brain going to swim back? Is it going to swim back to Oh got it How do you take a shower? So it came up on the bath house It's like their time filler thing When they run out of Dead air You don't want dead air So and so How do you take a shower? And there's this big It's not obvious It's not obvious to a lot of people But there's a lot of dudes that don't wash their feet They just let, as Danny says, gravity do the job They just let the water roll down And eventually They just call it clean Because of all the soaps and subs That have rolled Bro you gotta wash your feet You gotta get in between your toes You gotta wash your legs and feet That's nasty But anyway There's a big separation also among white and black people Black people use washcloths And I noticed I grew up using a washcloth My mom uses a washcloth My BBG uses a washcloth Both white But for the most part White people don't use a washcloth They either use a loofah or just straight bar Which I mix it up Maybe I'm a unicorn in this I use a loofah sometimes Sometimes I'm straight bar I'm always straight bar on the face It's just bar on the face I use a loofah and then really I feel like I'm spoiling myself Which is weird and maybe sounds disgusting When I'm using a washcloth Like really exfoliating Really gonna soil some laundry But how do you do it? Now here's another thing And another thing Shout out Burns He like broke the code to me one day Just like straight Edison light bulb moment You gotta go T to B You have to go top to bottom My fucking mom didn't tell me that What the fuck What the fuck mom But anyway Maybe she probably did I can be a poor listener Probably had a ear bud in Even at 3 years old Not really but I didn't go top to bottom I would just probably Before Burns Enlightened me I would always just go face first And then maybe just body And then be like oh yeah shit I gotta wash my hair And probably at that time I was like Gravity's doing the job down there But one day He was like No dude you gotta start with your hair Just cause everything washes down Like you would wash a car You'd wash the roof of the car first And then when you rinse it everything Say no more Say no more dude It makes sense And that's the thing for me It clicks When something makes sense and really clicks for me I know it I'll know it for life And I can be a good learner This old dog can learn new tricks But sometimes it takes a lot Repeating or Doing it a bunch Before that click But god I'm telling you It clicks for me I love that feeling Love it I don't know if it's the opening Of neural pathways that I'm feeling Or whatever it is But don't you love when something Fucking clicks for you I do I love it So yeah let me know Until we get a phone number I guess my friends and family Give me a call Or send me a text Tell me how do you take a shower Are you going T to B Cause if you're not going T to B You're doing it the wrong way And you gotta wash your feet And you gotta use some kind of washcloth We're making rules Let's weed out these stinky motherfuckers Out there Come on How dare you mom I'm sure you told me Fast food prices dude I know they vary But like here in Missouri A hash brown is $2.89 $2.89 at Mickey Fox Like they used to be two for one Thanks Obama I mean like what happened McDonald's breakfast is so fucking good But I'm not a gajillionaire I can't afford it This is crazy And I live dangerously And I mean dangerously close To fast food Which I guess thanks Shout out fast food Thanks for raising your prices Now I can't really afford it Or I'd just rather go eat at a restaurant Because it's not good for me anyway So thank you Appreciate that If you're not getting food through the apps You're really doing yourself a disservice Always a good deal Through the app I mean it's like Sometimes you can literally knock your bill in half Call me a cheapskate But if it's just a couple clicks of the button Order through the app What are you doing Get your life Alright dad tips That's a segment That I want to bring to the show I should be able to have some dad tips right Got a bunch of fucking kids Dad tips y'all Here's my first dad tip Learn How to make A really good paper airplane I can't tell you how many times Well I can probably Probably like say 27 fucking really Nice times My heart has been full Because I've made a paper airplane for my child Or maybe just another child And they love it If it's a good successful airplane that can fly Bro Bruh Learn how to make a paper airplane Every dad needs it And moms you can too No girls allowed Whatever but For real Learn how to make an airplane You'll fucking put a smile on a kid's face And that's all we're trying to do Here at Babysat We're always just Always trying to do something And today we're trying to make A kid's smile Learn how to make a god damn airplane The one that flies good I used to know how to make this for a very short time I knew how to make this Airplane that was like flat And That doesn't sound like a very good airplane But that's how I describe it It's like square and flat The wings were square and flat The wings And it flew so far And flat The plane I throw now The plane I'm throwing down now It's alright It does loop de loops Each one is different That's the nice thing about it The fold is always slightly different Some of them fly real good And far and flat But not as consistently as this other plane And I guess I guess I didn't fold it enough Committed to memory enough And it got lost in the ether I mean almost a year or two after I learned it I just really didn't retain that one I guess it didn't click Like I was just talking about But shout out my little brother's dad Alejandro He taught me how to make the airplane that I know And he was an alright stepdad Good intentions But at least he taught me How to make a paper airplane And he made a lot of kids happy with that skill So I'm going to have to come up with some more dad tips To make this segment stick But this is the first dad tip Learn how to make a paper airplane I'm telling you Alright Story time Not even a big story really It was an experience though I moved in with Francisco I've lived with Francisco on several different stints Basically After high school When my money would run out Or I would exhaust employment opportunities And I really needed somewhere to go To live I could always look to Francisco To not only provide me a job Because he has his own landscaping business Or whatever he was doing at the time I've done a couple different things for Francisco But He's never hesitated to take me in And on one of the times He lived in this Really janky place In Annapolis, Maryland Annapolis It's a little hard for me to say Even though I've lived there a couple times Annapolis, Maryland It's a really cool place Fucking blue crab Dude I'm going to Baltimore here next month Me and Francisco are going to catch and pig out On blue crab You can literally just go down to the dock At Truxton Park like we did And catch a blue crab And take him home and eat him For free Basically free, whatever the chicken eggs cost you at 7-Eleven Fucking crab All you can eat crab meat So good That was the best part about always moving in with Francisco Is his cooking He's such a good cook He comes from Acapulco He comes from Mexico He comes from actually Santo Domingo, Oaxaca, Mexico Which is even more southern and indigenous He's an Afro-Latino I was reading into the history of that In Oaxaca the other day I don't know enough to regurgitate Enough A big percentage of Mexico's Afro-Latino population Comes from Right around where Francisco's from So it makes a lot of sense Because he's a really dark Mexican But anyways Fucking world class chef Best person I've ever ate under Anything he makes He's just to die for To regret All those times living with him I took in a little bit of how he made things And I know like one Basically one recipe from him And I could just know so much more I mean I know more than one recipe I guess But not enough I didn't take it in enough He's so fucking good you guys What the hell was I saying Why the hell do I keep forgetting shit Oh yeah the story Notes Look to the notes So I was Living with him in this really janky apartment I mean it had Bed bugs That I know now because I've come across bed bugs a couple different times In my life since then And they didn't attack him Whatever his blood they didn't like I actually shared a bed My white friends won't get this And to me it wasn't that big of a deal It was just Life circumstances at the time I shared a bed with him and his girlfriend And they're not even like a king size Not even like what I sleep on now Fucking California king size It's like a full size bed I'm a fucking big boy But yeah three of us on a bed Every night you know But yeah I would wake up peppered Just one whole side was exposed Because the three of us were sharing a blanket Or whatever and so I wouldn't be all the way covered Some nights and whatever wasn't exposed Or even if I was covered they would find a way And just pepper me I mean I was walking around Like a zombie Chewing Benadryl all day long Just trying to survive so I wouldn't itch myself Alive Anyway we lived in this really janky Apartment complex I'm talking like People throwing dice you know On Friday night It was like Walking into a fucking Jungle If we went out on a few weekend nights And we would come home kind of late The whole parking lot would just be Full and people would just be partying You know Just like the Now I got to accentuate it I don't know what I am What you would call that Just Yeah if it makes me Uncomfortable or nervous I guess I'm going to try to make Myself laugh or make you laugh I don't know it's probably even more Annoying because I'm making the noise even more But anyway I said that a lot too right So this parking lot Is just it's a party And we're not invited and we got to walk Through the party to get to our apartment Every Friday and Saturday night And it was just a really At times scary place to live for me You know I'm coming from small town Missouri Sure I'm from Southern California I was more of a city boy In my early early years but I'm A country boy now you know I've lived in Missouri for a lot of years Over 25 or something like that I'm getting bad with math Anyway so we're in the jungle We're trying to get to our apartment And the story I'm going to tell you didn't even happen That night but I want to just kind of paint a picture Of where we're living this was A small project in Annapolis And one day we were Coming home from work or something it was early afternoon And this guy Stopped me And Francisco was with me And he wasn't worried at all because he was a street fighter Legit like he may have Killed somebody he wouldn't tell me that story But he's told me plenty of stories of fighting He's been stabbed you know He grew up on the hard hard streets Of Acapulco in gangs And He was with me So I was nervous still In the situation because this guy comes up to me And he's like yo you want to buy some crack And I was like You know I was just trying to make a joke So I was like do I look like a crackhead to you Because I was chubby you know And he Just didn't know what to really take of that response Kind of pissed him off I guess because he was like You give me that watch And it was a watch I just got from my mom It was this sick Bob Marley watch I had a Bob Marley shirt on at the time I went through a Big Bob Marley phase I think At every stoner Not only in Missouri But places where it's really frowned upon Or We'll get into the Weed laws and stuff here in Missouri In this podcast but I was really projecting hard with my Bob Marley Merch at all times And I had this watch my mom had just given me I think right before I moved With Francisco that time And this might have been the first stint That I had moved in with Francisco So all of this was a culture shock And he's trying to sell me crack and I'm like No no dude I don't do crack And he's like well let me get that watch And I was like no dude Like nervous at this point Just like don't know what to I was like no You hear the express of my voice But I was like no dude My mom gave me this watch And I don't think I chuggled but I was like No my mom gave this to me And I was like fuck you Like I wasn't worth his time Dude probably had a fucking gun on him Dude was really He seemed like a type of character That was willing to throw his life away Over not getting a crack sell So I don't know if that was smart Of me at the time but again Francisco was with me He's never let anything bad happen to me He never will I have a story that I'll tell When I really need a good time filler It's a long story It's my story, it's the story It's one of the deforming stories Now I'm going to just tease it I just gotta stop talking about it But Francisco I have a lot of stories I have a lot of stories with Burns, Francisco Jevin, why didn't I talk about Jevin last time Talked about Alex and Patrick My mom has four boys She was the type of woman that just wanted to have girls You know grew up playing with Barbies and dolls And a real girly girl in that aspect And ended up having four fucking boys Who had all the girls? I did, I got three of them Need one? Just kidding I love my girls But I didn't talk about Jevin Last podcast And I love Jevin He's the boy He's the baby, baby Jev And he's already been through a lot He's had two back surgeries That would kill most people He's had severe scoliosis He found out like the second week Of wrestling practice And he was fat as shit Like after You know I don't know Middle school He was shaping up to be a real tub of lard But He loved the WWE And he wanted to wrestle And he was going to wrestle He went out for wrestling Even lasted a couple weeks of practice I've never even made it through a wrestling practice I've never been to one I've wrestled for a few weeks in middle school And the hardest part is like the wrestling practices That my friends would talk about And they're grueling Anybody that's an athlete would tell you wrestling Or like an MMA fighter specifically Tell you wrestling practice is the hardest And I believe it from what I see Just totally using your whole body the whole time How fucking exhausting But anyway Jevin went out for wrestling And they discovered he had severe scoliosis You know He was a hunchback in Notre Dame at that point We I guess just didn't notice it that much Because he was always just kind of Being fat and lounging around You know a lot of baby fat on that one And he Yeah it was like an S curve His back And so I can't remember what age he was 15 Probably 14 or 15 When he had his first back surgery And I mean he's got We call him a zipper back It's all the way down But they straightened his spine out It's a beautiful thing It's a miracle But man what a tall mountain That had to be to climb He's in pain at all times And you wouldn't be able to tell And he's not like He should be completely strung out Like especially in this day and age He should be a junkie But he's not He might have that junkie mentality He might But he doesn't show it And I'd be able to sniff it I'd be able to sniff it out I've almost lived that junkie lifestyle Enough to where I would be the devil that recognized his own And Jeff is just a good kid He's a sweetheart He's got a great girlfriend He's really lucky to have And has been a good north star for him And I love my baby Jeff My baby brother Jeff Sorry I didn't mention you in the first one Not that you complained Or maybe you did Maybe you were like yeah But it wasn't overwhelming like some of the other people But yeah Now you know about Jeff Should've brought up Jeff Should've brought up Burns And honestly going into this Before I ever laid down one episode I would've thought I would've like heavily relied on a Burns story Or you know Easily I thought Jeff would've probably been the first brother To come up for some reason It's just a really fun process I can't wait to bring you guys more baby fat Oh Oh Guess what Sniffing my microphone God Damn it Okay Brady fucking bailed on the outro Bad My little I guess I did mention Jevin's name I did say his name So fuck it that whole thing was just I don't know now it doesn't even make sense Because I did mention him But anyway there's a little more into little baby Jeff But his fucking friend Brady Big timed me Old B-dog old B-rad Not B-rad cause he's not Brad he's Brady Anyway he's like Too busy to do the outro You know More Hollywood on me But actually it was a fucking blessing No you know It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing It was a blessing