episode 1

The host of the Peace of Mind podcast talks about his journey of self-love and overcoming self-doubt. He shares his struggles with confidence, acne, and feeling like an outcast. He discusses the impact of hurtful comments and how it affected his self-image. He also talks about his experiences with alcohol and the negative effects it had on his relationships. Despite the challenges, he eventually finds love and begins to learn how to love himself. Greetings humans, this is your host, Ivan, and welcome to the Peace of Mind podcast. Pretty much this podcast is just going to be about self-love, you know, about loving yourself. I just want to kind of talk about myself a little bit, hopefully I don't bore you. I feel like throughout my whole life, I was very lost, you know, I was just trying to find myself. I've always been different, I always liked to stand out, but I just lacked a lot of confidence, you know, never really believed in myself. And because of that, you know, I felt like I was in a lot of dark places, you know, I didn't know where to go, you know, I found myself trying to, I guess, connect myself with people and maybe force it, but, you know, it just never reciprocated. I just felt like, you know, the people that I was hung around with, you know, they were just different for me, and there was nothing wrong with that, but I just felt like we just, you know, there was just never a connection. So, you know, with me not having a lot of confidence with the majority of my life, you know, I just always felt like, I guess I was an outcast. You know, I did have friends, but, you know, I've always seen people where they are really close to their friends, where they're always hanging out, they're always talking, and I never had that. But, you know, during my high school life, you know, I started to develop acne, and that totally shifted my whole life, like it just spiraled down because I lost a lot of confidence or whatever confidence that I thought that I had. I spilled the water. Okay, go ahead and pick it up. I am. All right, thank you. And, you know, I was just in a very dark place, and, you know, it just, man, it just ruined my life, to be honest. I didn't know how to pick myself up from that hole that I was in, that, you know, I think I can say now that I dug for myself. I was looking, maybe I was looking for support from other people, and I didn't receive it. And, you know, maybe if that would have happened, you know, I would have gained my confidence, being that I just didn't know how to gain that confidence. So, you know, I remember a time where I went to a soccer game, and, you know, me being very self-conscious about my face, because of all the pimples and all that good stuff, you know, I would always wear a beanie and a hat, thinking that I was hiding from everyone. You know, that's just what I just placed into my head, and I just went with it. And as I was going to go and sit on the bleachers to watch a soccer game at my old high school, you know, I remember an individual, and I'm not going to say his name, but I remember an individual said, what the fuck happened to your face? And I was like, oh, shit. Like, this fool really said that, and I didn't even know how to recover from that. But I still stayed around, and, you know, I just fucking just took it to the chin and just kept pushing. But from there, you know, I just let, you know, his comments dictate on how I should feel about myself, and, you know, that I guess that I wasn't attractive or what. So, you know, life went on, and, you know, I felt like my acne got worse to the point where, you know, I got the hard boils, I think that's how you say it, but the really hard pimples that go underneath your skin, and just, that is just bad. You know, I would wake up sometimes, and I would see blood all over my pillow because of my face. You know, all my pimples were bleeding. And, you know, because of those hard pimples, you know, I would get like that, that dry blood, and, you know, that blood would turn black, and, yeah, man, that shit sucked. That was horrible. So throughout my high school year, you know, I never went to any of the dances or anything like that. I know I missed out on a lot, but, you know, I don't know. Like I said, my confidence was never there. So, you know, I didn't have, you know, any girlfriends, never hooked up with anyone throughout my high school year. You know, I played soccer all my four years at high school, so, you know, I enjoyed that. But still, you know, I was still in a very dark place. You know, I thought about, like, you know, just leaving this world, you know, taking my life, but, you know, I never did, as you can tell because I'm still here, but, you know, I never did because, you know, I still loved my life in a sense. You know, I can't really explain it, but, you know, I just loved my life, so I never did. So, you know, when I graduated high school, I felt like that's where I kind of just said, man, fuck it, and let's just see what happens. And, you know, when I did that, you know, I started to lose some weight because I've always been a husky, a husky kid, a chunky, a chunky person. So, you know, I started to lose my weight, and, you know, that brought some confidence in a sense, but, you know, still my acne was still dictating my life and how I should feel about myself. And, you know, I started to attract girls, like girls were attracted to me, so I was just like, well, this is different. So I just, you know, I just had to learn on how to talk to girls since I didn't really know how to in high school. So, yeah, you know, I talked to, you know, a couple of girls, and, you know, to me, they were very attractive, how I got them, I guess, you know, because of my personality. But, you know, I always thought that because of my acne, people would always be looking at me, and that's just something that I don't like when people look at me still to this day, I guess, but I really don't think about it. But, you know, I always thought that, you know, they were looking at my face and that they were judging me, and, you know, again, that I wasn't attractive. But, you know, these females that I was talking to, you know, they didn't think that, and, you know, they found something in me that they enjoyed, and, you know, we had somewhat of a connection, even though none of them lasted for a long time. But, you know, there was a connection, and, you know, there was good times and there was bad times. So, I met this girl at this job at Albertsons, and, you know, I just found her attractive and interesting, so, you know, I pursued her, and, you know, we ended up being together, and, you know, we began to see one another and created a relationship, and that was nice, you know, I expressed my love in many different ways, and, you know, we had a lot of good times, and, you know, before that, being that I was never really outgoing in high school, you know, I never drank, you know, I never smoked, I didn't do any of those things, and I remember back in high school, I know, I'm sorry, I kind of jump all over the place, so just bear with me. Back in high school, I remember I went to a bachelor party, and I drank for the first time, or maybe my second time, I think my second time, and I remember that we drank tequila, Salsa, I believe, and, you know, I got drunk, I don't know how much I drank, but I ended up getting drunk, and we ended up going to, I went with my friend, and we went to his brother's house, and they had weights on the floor, so my dumb ass decided to pick it up, and lift weights, and I didn't know anything about lifting weights, so I did that, and I fucking chipped my tooth, I was like, what the fuck, what did I just do, so I remember they just put me down, I just knocked down, I fell asleep, so the next day, I was like, damn, what the hell am I going to tell my parents, you know, so that's when, you know, I first developed something with alcohol, my father, you know, he had his time with alcohol, and his relationship with alcohol wasn't good, so, you know, I always told myself that I wasn't going to have the same relationship with alcohol, and so, you know, back to the relationship, it was a long term relationship, you know, I started to drink more, and, you know, that, that took a toll on me, and the relationship with her, you know, I was a very, I was a very bad person, very bad person, I did a lot of wrongdoing while drinking, and I don't know, I was just very lost, I always felt that it was me versus the world, and I think it was just maybe because of the, my experience with acne, you know, I was just like, why do I have to deal with this when I see everyone has, like, good skin, why am I the chosen one, what is it that I did, you know, I was just always questioning, I was just always questioning life, like, what did I do wrong, you know, sometimes I would think, like, man, what if today, you know, on a special occasion, my face was clean, you know, I didn't have no red marks or anything like that, no big pimples, nothing, like, I wonder what that would have been like. So, you know, throughout our relationship, like I said, I did a lot of damage, I was in a lot of denial, you know, I think that, you know, narcissism plays a big role in that, you know, I thought that my shit didn't stink, and that I was adult enough to drink, which was very wrong, I wish that I would have, the mentality that I have right now, I wish that I would have had it at that time, but if I did, then I don't think I would be where I'm at now. So, you know, during that relationship, you know, I started a lot of arguments because of my drinking, I wasn't faithful, which, you know, it took me a long time to finally talk about, you know, especially with her, that was very hard for me, I was very embarrassed, you know, at that time when I was drinking, it was always whatever I wanted, it didn't matter who said that I couldn't do it, it didn't matter, I wasn't going to listen, it was my way or the other way, and again, that was very wrong, but, you know, things happen for a reason in life, so, you know, as time went on, you know, I was battling that, I guess that poison, you know, I don't know if it was really an addiction, I know I had an alcohol problem, but I don't think it was addiction, and the reason why I say that is because, you know, every time that I drank, it was never to escape from any of my problems, it was just always to elevate my energy, I've always felt like I was able to bring my own energy, I didn't have anything to start it, you know, it was kind of weird because of my acne, right, but it was just always there, so, you know, when I drank, again, it was just never to escape any of my issues, problems that were happening, so, you know, during that time, when I wasn't drinking, I still battled with my acne, and, you know, I was still in a very dark place and just always cried, just felt very depressed, you know, those times were just, man, they're horrible, they're so bad, just to experience them, I was just like, man, what the fuck, dude, like this is weird, why do I feel like this, why is this happening to me, so, my alcohol problem lasted for 18 years, which is a very long time, you know, I can't even explain all the experiences, I need help with something, okay, I'll help you right now, is it, you need it now, okay, I'll be right back. Okay. Pardon the interruption, but I want to make this all organic, all real, there's no editing, you know, I feel like, you know, I've been listening to a lot of podcasts, you know, all the professionals, and they have all that editing, and that's cool and all, I'm not down, but I want to make this as real as it can, because I'm just like any other human out there, you know, trying to find their purpose, so that's how I'm going to approach this, and I hope all of you that are listening can, you know, understand and connect with it like that, because like I said, I just want to be real. So, I think I was talking about my drinking, you know, for 18 years, I did a lot of wrongdoing, So, on November 13th of 2022, you know, I had an argument with the mother of our children, and the next day, November 14th, I just flipped the switch and I just stopped drinking, I didn't tell anybody, because all the times when, you know, when I would get in trouble, you know, with her, I'd always say, okay, I'm sorry, I'm going to stop drinking, and it never happened, like, sorry didn't mean anything to her, so I knew that I couldn't tell her anything, I just needed to show it, you know, actions speak louder than words. So, on November 14th of 2022, that's when I stopped drinking, and I never looked back, I'm going on a year and three months sober, and you know, people have asked me, you know, is it hard for me to be around people that drink? And I said, no, it's not hard for me, because I don't even think about it, I don't have time to think about it, I have my children looking up to me, you know, I'm their parent, but also, you know, at the end of the day, I'm their role model, who else are they going to look up to? I'm not going to have them look up to some other person, some random person, like, no, I needed to change my life around, so yeah, I never looked back, I never had any kind of temptation, or anything like that. So, with me changing my life around, you know, every day, I always try to improve myself, what was it that I can do to be better that day than the day before? So, you know, I just started to work out, because I've always enjoyed working out, and with that, you know, that's very good for our mental health, working out, just movement, it's very good for us. So, you know, I started to lose weight, you know, changed my mind, became more positive, you know, didn't even really think about my face, or anything like that, I couldn't think like that, because the way I thought, or the way that I think now, is like, okay, I know how to get myself into trouble, so let me learn on how to stay out of trouble, you know, which can be hard for some people, and the way that I wanted to do is, okay, well, let me have more hobbies, you know, let me keep myself busy. So, you know, as I was making my changes, you know, every day, wake up in a good mood, and, you know, I just thought that, I guess I was self-centered in a sense, where, you know, me changing my life around, I thought that the relationship between her and I would change, because, you know, there was just a lot of friction, you know, I was very toxic, and I know I caused a lot of pain to her, where I just think it just overwhelmed, and the way we handled it was, you know, she would be like, hey, let's talk about it, and like, okay, and then I would change, and nothing would change, and it would just go back, so, you know, the pain just started to build up, and I didn't really see it like that, I just thought, okay, I changed, so let's do this now, let's be for real, since I'm being real. So, you know, every day, I would just try to connect with her, and it just didn't reciprocate, and, you know, I would always just question, like, well, what's going on, like, you know, what's happening, I'm changing, isn't this what you wanted? And, you know, I just knew it was just too late, but I still continued to push forward and try to fix the relationship, and, you know, time went on, and, you know, we would have our arguments, and, you know, with me, back with my old self, you know, I like to hold a lot of grudges, so if we had a fight, didn't matter if I was right or wrong, I'm not going to talk to you, so, you know, I, again, if I wanted to, instead of going against the grain, I wanted to go with the grain. So every time that we fought, the next morning, you know, because it's mainly at night, you know, the next morning, just, good morning, it's nice to see you, I love you, I hope you have a good day, just hoping that, you know, things would change, and I didn't really see at that time, but I just saw that, you know when a person is genuine, when they're consistent, consistency is key in everything that we do, you know love is genuine when it's consistent, you know, because if it wasn't consistent, then you know that that person is just trying to gain something out of you, maybe use you, you know, who knows, but maybe it's not for good intentions. Even when life is happening, you know, there still has to be consistency, so, you know, that's where, too, I was very confused, because I'm just like, hey, like I'm not trying to start an argument, like, we've done that before, I'm just very tired, I don't want to do that no more, I want to try to mend things, you know, I want to prove to you that I do love you, even though that I hurt you, but that I do love you, and I just think it was very hard for her to understand of all my changes, because literally I just flipped a switch, like that Drake song, I just flipped a switch, and I don't know the rest of the song, but yeah, I just flipped a switch, and you know, I just think it was, she wasn't prepared for that, she wasn't ready, because she was like, man, what the fuck is wrong with you, nothing's wrong with me, I just, I'm a changed person, like, I'm good, I just want to live a more positive life, and you know, with that, too, with me changing, we still had a lot of conflict, we still bumped heads, and again, I was just very confused, because I changed a lot of my ways, and I want to give you a couple of examples on how I changed, you know, a lot of things about me, I used to bite my nails, I don't bite my nails now, I used to drive like a bat coming out of hell, so I used to average 19.7 miles per gallon in my 2017 Nissan Maxima Platinum hat, which actually, I'm going to be done paying for it next month, and I'm very proud of myself, and I'll explain more later. So, you know, I started to change the way that I drive, and now I'm at 23.7 miles per gallon, and that was all within that year and three months, and I'm very proud of myself, you know, I changed the way that I dress, the way that I talk, honestly, the way that I move, I walk with a purpose, and that purpose is just to become a better person every single day, that's my purpose, you know, how can I love myself, and if I love myself so much, how can I love others, how can I lift other people up if I'm able to lift myself up, because I had to lift myself up, you know, no one else was going to do that for me, no one ever taught me how to really get out of a hole, you know, my parents taught me whatever they could, you know, and I love them for that, they taught me a lot of responsibility, so a little back track, I think I moved out of my parents' home when I was 30, man, how old was I? 30? No, 28 or 29, I don't remember, but, you know, I was very proud of myself because I moved out, you know, I figured it out, and even at that time when I was a home owner, I was still struggling with alcohol, you know, I still lived a very fast-paced life and got myself in a lot of trouble, I got a DUI when I was 19, I got arrested for public intoxication, I want to tell you a story real quick regarding my drinking, I went to go get my hair cut, and I was drinking there, and then after that, I was on my way to Stater Brothers because I wanted to make me some hot links, and as I was driving, I remember this, I believe it was a Cadillac CTS, I think they turned in front of me or they cut me off, and, you know, I was drunk, and I think I flashed my light, I believe so, and we were at a light, and this fucking guy got out of his car and stood by my window and I was like, oh shit, like what'd I just do, like I wasn't fucking down for that life, so, he just stood there, you know, I don't know if he said anything, but then he went back in his car and just fucking left, and I was like, damn, that shit was crazy, like I really stepped out of my element at that time, you know, I can only imagine, like what if he had like a gun or some shit like that, like that, man, that shit would've been weird, so, you know, I always had that, that moment in my mind, like, fuck, dude, I was a real dumbass, you know, but, you know, with my drinking, it was whatever happens, happens, you know, I didn't really think about anything, um, so yeah, I got in a lot of trouble with alcohol, um, so yeah, as I started to make my changes, you know, I started to change my whole mentality, um, I, I was given a book by a manager at work, it's called Who Moved My Cheese, and I've always wanted to get into reading, but I kind of stayed away from it because when I read, I don't comprehend what a, what I, of what I've read, I don't even know it, I've always been like that, I struggled, so, you know, that's where I think the confidence, I lack confidence in, so, you know, she, she gave me this book, um, I feel like she gave it to me for a reason, um, and I'll explain that in a little bit, so I read it, and man, that was a really good book, it's just about, you know, adapting to change, whatever changes, you go ahead and follow, of course, if it's going to bring you a lot of benefits, then yeah, you know, you want to follow that change, but if it's not going to, um, bring you a lot of benefits, then don't follow it, but to take it a next step further, you can't already make some kind of judgment just based on, well, I don't want to do it, because then, you know, that's where our, our, our self-centeredness just kicks in, so, I, I read the book, and, you know, I gained a lot of knowledge through that, and like I said, it's just, you know, you got to learn how to, how to adapt to change, you know, you got to learn on how to always have movement, I remember, uh, having a conversation with this gentleman, uh, Commander Hernandez, and he told me, and I always, I will always remember this, he says, where there is still water, there's no life, it isn't safe to drink, but when there is running water, there's life, so it's safe to drink, so pretty much, movement, movement, movement, so I've always been, I've always been about that life, so, you know, as, as time went on, you know, still wasn't, you know, the relationship still wasn't there, you know, we still didn't meet eye to eye, but, you know, I still continued to move forward, and yeah, you know, I was, I was hurt some days, but, you know, again, the next day, I woke up very positive, and, hey, I love you, it's nice to see you, I hope you have a good day, you know, cause, just very grateful that, you know, that I was given another opportunity, so, you know, as time went on, I remember having a conversation with my sister, I never, I knew there was a higher power, I knew that there was a God, but I never practiced it, you know, did I believe in him, no, probably because I didn't practice, you know, getting to know him, so I remember we, we, my sister and I had this conversation, and the conversation was, how, how are we going to believe in something where we don't even know if God is real or not, like, how are we going to believe in that, like, why can't we believe in ourselves, you know, and of course, that's just being self-centered, you know, not, not knowing anything about God, so, I felt that he, he heard me express that, cause he felt that energy, and I felt that he was teaching me lessons by, fuck, like, just throwing wrenches at me left and right, and I was like, whoa, what the heck is happening, like, what is going on, like, you know, I thought me being positive, like, I wouldn't run into issues, right, cause I'm staying out of trouble, I don't want to be around trouble no more, I'm good, like, I'm enjoying myself, so, there was a, a day where I couldn't take it anymore, because me being a man, I thought that I can carry everything all on my shoulders, and I'll, I'll, I'll figure it out, how, I don't know, but I'll figure it out, and I remember sitting in the parking lot at Barnes and Noble, and I called my friend, Jerry, and I called him asking for help, I said, you know what, Jerry, I can't, I can't take this no more, I don't know what to do, like, I need to go to church, you know, I was always just full of anxiety, you know, I'd have numbness on, on my neck, and I didn't know why, I never felt like that before, you know, at that time I didn't know, but now I know why, because, because, you know, I was just, had too much things on my plate, and I didn't know how to handle it, you know, it's not that I, I guess I kind of avoided it, but not to a sense where I was going to let it again, like, dictate the way, I guess dictate my happiness, so, you know, he says, okay, well, when do you want to go, and, you know, I called him on a Saturday, and I was like, well, let's go tomorrow, and he's like, okay, so we end up going, and I felt that, you know, God, God knew I was going, and the, the service that day, I felt that the, the pastor was talking to me, directly to me, and that, that first day, because like I said, I never practiced religion, that first day I gave myself to God, I didn't even think twice about it, and I was just crying, and bawling, and, man, just so much emotions, because I just felt like I, I let everything out, and that felt so good, you know, tears are good for the soul, so I felt that once I did that, you know, that's when he embraced me, that's when he says, you finally found me, and you finally let me inside your heart, and show you how much I love you, and that was very hard for me to understand, because of my past, I knew that I wasn't worthy of it, you know, I reached a level of happiness, where, man, I just, I don't know, I just can't really explain, but I just felt so good, like, like, I just felt that there was so much dopamine going around in my brain, and I could feel it, it was just weird, but also when I did feel like that, you know, I would quickly just shut it off, because I'm like, why is it okay for me to be this happy after I hurt the person that I love, and the person that I started a family with, like, I don't deserve that, so I would take it away real quick, and that would just beat me up, but I would be fine after that, you know, I wouldn't let that, again, dictate my energy, but I struggled with that, and I still do, but not a lot, but it still, you know, still pops in my mind, I just feel like, you know, I just keep myself humble, and, you know, humility, and all of that good stuff, so, you know, I just keep it there, because, you know, it keeps me grounded, and it lets me know, like, you know, where I came from, you know, to remind myself that my shit did stink, but I still gotta continue to push forward, so, you know, I started to develop a relationship with God, and, you know, I tried to get her to, you know, to follow me with religion, but, you know, she wasn't ready, and I didn't push it, you know, I didn't push any of that, because, you know, not everyone approaches religion, or, you know, they have their certain beliefs about religion, which is okay, you know, but that's just, you know, that's just up to the individual, so, you know, I still continue to go to church, and, you know, I feel that my faith is very strong, and, you know, he has been blessing me, um, with my new life, and, again, like, I know I'm not worthy of any of this, but, you know, he knows that I'm worthy, and, you know, I just continue just to, just to love, love, love every single day, you know, with my children, even when I was drinking, you know, I was still present, you know, I've always been around my children, and showing them, you know, responsibilities and all of that, and, you know, they saw arguments between, um, their mother and I, which they shouldn't have, and, you know, again, I can't take that back, it is what it is, but, you know, I hope later down the line that that won't affect them, but if it does, you best believe I'm gonna be there and try to correct that, because I'm the one that, that did that error, but again, I don't beat myself with that, you know, I never go to bed angry now, so, you know, as time went on, you know, we still, um, we still clashed a lot, and she ended up moving out, um, I believe she moved out in July, and I can truly say that I tried my best for her not to leave until the last day that she was there, I tried my best, I did whatever I could, but when she left, now, I had to figure shit out, how am I gonna pay for my mortgage, how am I gonna pay for my car, how am I gonna provide for my children, how am I gonna get them both ready for school, you know, because they're six and three, and they go to different schools, and then how am I gonna go to work, and I was like, what the fuck, dude, how am I gonna do this shit, but I knew that I had no time to stress out, or I couldn't show them that I was stressed out, because then, you know, I'm just gonna be irritated with everything, and then, you know, I did, you know, I had to catch myself sometimes, you know, I felt that my temper was short, and it wasn't right, but, you know, I started to correct it, um, but, you know, again, I'm just being real, and just honest, um, so as time went on, you know, I started to stress out, and I thought about, you know, selling my home, or renting it out, and moving with my parents, but I was like, man, fuck that, I can't go and live with no one else, I love my space, so, you know, I was talking to my mom, you know, instead of venting my frustration, you know, I just wanted to vent out my love, like, I wanna tell you on how I feel, so, you know, I would just tell her, like, mom, I'm stressed out, I don't know what to do, I knew that I can do it, but, you know, it's just that thought, you know, to keep me grounded, to be like, well, this is reality, someone needs to figure it out, so, shit, I had to figure it out, and, you know, to this day, like, I'm fucking proud of myself, because I have come a long way, I'm loving myself more, I'm more confident, you know, I speak my mind, respectfully, but I do speak my mind, and dare to be different, always be different, no matter what people say, you know, and that's what I still struggle with, I feel like sometimes when I am different, people kind of, I think they attack my character, like telling me, you shouldn't think like that, you shouldn't dress like that, you shouldn't talk like that, well, why not, why do I need to think like you, why do I need to talk like you, you are your own person, I'm me, again, I already live a certain life, where I brought myself down, now I wanna learn, like, how do I bring myself up, like, how do I create my own happiness, because I have to, you know, with this whole separation, man, this shit has been fucking weird, you know, we share the children, so, you know, there's days that they go and stay with her, and then there's days that they stay with me, but the days that I don't have them, I'm coming home to an empty home, and damn, that shit is, that sucks, because you're so alone, mind you, we have a pet bearded dragon, his name is Spike, shout out to Spike, I learned a lot from him, I just learned on how to love her a different way, I've never had a reptile ever as a pet, and, you know, I never wanted him, it was the decision of our children and their mother that wanted it, and when she left, you know, she left him here for the kids, so that, you know, that they can see Spike, so I was like, well, alright, I'll learn how to take care of him, and, you know, I feel that he has helped me a lot, I had to take off my sweater, because I'm burning up, so, yeah, you know, coming home to an empty home, you know, I just had to learn on how to entertain myself, so, you know, I just work out, or read, or, you know, watch sports, you know, I'm into the Lakers, I'm into Chelsea, you know, go Chelsea, go Lakers, so, you know, I just try to keep my mind occupied, so, you know, through that year and three months journey, what I gathered is that a lot of us lack a lot of self-love, you know, we love to live in pain, I once heard in a YouTube video from a bishop saying that pain is just a stage, it isn't a destination, so, you know, yeah, we should live through that pain, but we can't live like that every single day, like, we're needed, someone needs us, and they may not even know what we're going through, but they still need us, so we still need to provide, so, for me, my children still need me, I still need to provide for them, I still need to be present, I can't explain to them on what I'm going through in my life, because they're not going to even understand, and I don't expect them to understand, those are my problems, I'm the one that caused those problems, they didn't, so they have nothing to do with it, so all I can do is just show them responsibility, hey, don't do that, hey, I told you, don't do that, pretty much, I try to steer them away from living a life that I did, and again, it's just, you know, teaching them responsibility, that's it, structure, not about being strict, it's about structure, knowing right from wrong, and holding yourself accountable, and that's another thing, I feel like a lot of people don't hold themselves accountable, why, because we don't want to be wrong, we don't want to be called out, you know, we're so focused on the people, at the people in front of us, and at the side of us, and we're not even focused on ourselves, we're not even worried about, on our issues, we just want to just point fingers on this person, and this person, and this person, and just judge, you know, like they say, like, you know, don't judge a book by its cover, oh, we do that, but we're very oblivious about it, very delusional, but when someone calls you out on it, ooh, we don't like that, like, we hit that sensitive spot, and they become very defensive, so, you know, sometimes I try to stay away from that, but at the same time, I'm like, look, I had to learn my lesson, so, you know, other people need to learn their lesson, but again, all respectfully, it's all out of love, you know, I tend to challenge people sometimes, hopefully that they'll see that, hey, what you're doing is wrong, someone needs to tell you, you know, why is it that we're okay for life to teach us certain lessons, but when a human wants to teach you a lesson, we don't want no part of it, we don't even want to hear it, we start, again, saying, oh, so you think you're better, no, I don't think I'm better, but I've been in that kind of situation, I know how to get out of it, so therefore, I want to share my knowledge, and that is it, you know, God teaches all these things on, you know, how to be, how to live a righteous life, and when it comes out to us, just how to love, so that's where that self-love comes in, how can we love other people if we don't even love ourselves, that's weird, that's a weird thing, man, but yeah, I wanted to start this podcast hoping that I could connect with other people, you know, you're not alone, sometimes I feel like we're alone with our own issues, no, you're not alone, but the thing is that you need to speak about it, speak your mind, close mouths don't get fed, remember that, close mouths don't get fed, you want to know something, then speak up, sympathy can only be stretched so far, after that, it's just empathy, it's like, I don't want to hear it, if you don't want to change, why would I want to hear it, for what, if it's going to be the same thing, the same thing, but I have empathy, I feel you, but I can help, I can help you, and you know why, because I help myself, and do you want to know why, because I love myself, and I care for myself, we only get one chance at this thing we call life, so again, I just wanted to start this podcast to lift other people, and connect with other people differently. I hope that you guys find this message very helpful, and you guys will follow me in this journey that I would like to share with you, and you know, don't ever hesitate to have questions, comments, or concerns, all of that is that, all of that is welcomed, but just be respectful, that's it, that's all I ask for, I like a nice conversation where we can challenge one another, because you know why, we can learn from one another, like oh, you think different, that's pretty cool, nothing wrong with that, but why do you think like that, what happened in your past made you think like that, because that's very interesting, I believe that we can learn something from every single person, no matter where they are in their lives, and I think that's a beautiful thing about life, so I think I'm going to go ahead and end it here, again, you know, just let me know what you think, you know, I'm just trying to keep this as real as it can be, because I'm a real human being, and I think that that helps other people relate and connect, but I kind of want to just plug in my Instagram page that I just started, so if you guys can, you know, much appreciated if you guys can go ahead and follow, but it is Peace of Mind 2024, but the way that you spell it is P-I-E-C-E-O-S-M-Y-N-D, and of course, 2024, and eventually I'll explain why I spelled it like that. But it's always peace and love when I talk, when I communicate, I love doing this. One more thing, no risk, no reward. Peace out, humans.