WRIT Podcast

In this story, there are two lovebirds, Jiffy and Posy, who are part of the St. Louis Cardinals baseball team. Jiffy is planning to climb Mount Everest while Posy stays with the team. The Cardinals start losing without Jiffy, but they stay positive and look forward to his return. However, Jiffy encounters difficulties on the climb and needs to be rescued. He is saved by a helicopter and reunites with Posy, confessing his love for her. They decide to go on a date and support the city of St. Louis by eating out after the game. Once upon a time, in the land between St. Louis and Mt. Everest, there were two lovebirds, but they didn't know that yet. Alright, you bunch of misfits. Let's play this game like it's the last pizza slice at a party. Get in there and fight for it. Mmm, pizza. They like carbohydrates. They give me good, long energy so I can swing bats and hit ball far. I feel I can climb big mountains like Mt. Everest. Fun fact, Beverly, I am in fact climbing Mt. Everest next week. It will be a mighty fun time. You nerd. Are you going to tell us about the economics of the St. Louis Cardinals' food industry and how much it benefits the city of St. Louis? Actually, if you would like to know, then I would surely be glad to tell you all about the economic impact and how the Cardinals were able to generate $302.1 million in 2023. Shut up, Jiffy. Sorry, guys. I guess I'll shut up now. One week later. Alright, guys. I will see you soon. Or not. But hopefully. Bye, Jiffy. Good luck, my love. Man, I really need some carbohydrates and antioxidants to fuel my climb. Good thing I have my whole grain bread and pasta to devour for breakfast in order to keep my weight up while I am burning approximately 6,000 calories per day. I encourage you can lose up to 30 pounds on this climb. These foods will be absolutely essential. Alright, guys. I know losing Jiffy is a big hit, but we have to stay positive. After all, we have a World Series to win. These fans aren't going to want to stick around and spend their money if we keep losing like this. Good thing we have 11 World Series titles. Otherwise, we would be nothing. But, Coach, how am I supposed to hit ball far and win games if that man, Jiffy, is not here to pitch an absolute gem and hit some 450-foot bombs over the center field wall? Ah, whatever. We don't need that loser anyways. We can win without him. Later. As the Cardinals come into the homestretch of the season, they have finished up awfully as they lost their star player, Jiffy, due to his absence while climbing Mount Everest. This team needs to pull it together if they want to make a run for the pennant. Ugh, we keep losing and I'm just sick of it. Part of me is starting to miss Jiffy's cute, nerdy comments like, Did you know that the St. Louis Cardinals front office pays beer vendors at the stadium for $77 an hour? Wait, did I say cute? I didn't mean that. Ugh, I no like losing. I need carbohydrates too to keep my energy. Guys, I know it's tough, but look on the bright side. Only one week until Jiffy comes back. Yeah, I guess you're right. We need him. Badly. Busy have little crush on Jiffy. Ugh, no I don't. Oh my gosh. Go eat some carbs, you big boy. Boy, it's mighty cold up here. I need to replenish my fruits and nuts that I packed. Wait, what? No! Not my antioxidants. I'll starve up here. I need to get down now. Jiffy starts to come down, but soon becomes extremely dizzy and hypoxic due to his lack of vitamin B12. Oh my gosh, I am seeing a Yeti. Help, he is chasing me. I need help real bad. Oh no, I never got to say bye to Posy. She's the love of my life. Ever since I joined the Cardinals, I've always found her to be a cutie pie. Oh no, my hotline responder walkie-talkie is going off. I need to call a helicopter to go to the top of Everest. Oh no, that could be Jiffy. I really hope he's okay. Posy, you're almost up to that. What the heck are you doing? I am an emergency hotline responder. I have to call in a helicopter for someone at the top of Everest. It could be Jiffy. You're an emergency hotline responder? I had no idea. Posy and Jiffy sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G The Seedless Cardinals Stadium is called, uh, Bush Stadium. Bush Stadium, uh, reserves the rights to all alcoholic beverages sold in the stadium. And I forget to mention all the other advertisers for the stadium, such as Stifle, who creates over ten million dollars for their Jersey Patch advertisements. Oh, the Cardinals jersey. Budweiser. Wait, did I already say that? This is Flight for Life Services. We are here to rescue you. Oh, look, a helicopter. Wait, they're here to save me! It's Jiffy! Look, guys! Posy, I need to tell you something. So do I, Jiffy. I love you! Well, m'lady, I think this is a good time to support the city of St. Louis and grab a bite to eat after the game, like a real tourist who spends 161 million dollars on the outside shopping and dining during the games every year. Is that a date? Is that even a question, Jiffy? Of course it's a date! I love you, Jiffy.