Episode 6: Steve's big decision

Hey, honey, can we talk? Sure. What do you want to talk about? Well, honey, you know Jenny just celebrated her 18th birthday. Yeah? Well, you know what that means, don't you? No, not really. What does that mean? Well, honey, it means that when you were suckling on her bosom, that is statutory. Statutory? Yes, honey. I took a video of you sucking on her bosom when she was 17. And if I bring this to the police, you will be arrested and most likely spend 5 to 7 years in jail. What? Yes, that's right, honey. Most first-time offenders get 5 to 7 years behind bars. Behind bars? What are you talking about? Mary, this is crazy. It's not crazy, honey. I'm serious. You're going to jail for 5 to 7 years. Or... Or what? Or you can live under my roof as my toddler. You have been acting like a child and making my life miserable. So you might as well be treated as a toddler as far as I'm concerned. Wait a second, Mary. I can go to jail or become a toddler? Is that what you're saying? That's right, sweetie. You can either be someone's bitch in jail or be my good little boy here. You have to make a choice. A choice? No! This is crazy. This is not happening, Mary. It is happening, honey. Get a hold of yourself, sweetie. Really? Really? Yes. You can go to jail or be my good little boy for 2 years. Maybe less if you behave and learn your lessons quickly. What kind of rules? What kind of lessons? Oh, stuff that all toddlers have to learn. All toddlers? Like what? Well, for one, you will have a bedtime. A bedtime? Of course, sweetie. All toddlers have bedtime so their mommies can have time to live their lives. Time to live your life? What about me? Don't worry, sweetie. I will think of plenty of things to keep you busy. And one more thing. You're going to have your paycheck directly deposited into my bank account. And I will provide you with an allowance, providing you do all your chores like a good boy. Like a good boy? Chores? Yes, sweetie. And another thing. There will be no sex for you while you are my toddler. No sex? Well, of course, if you choose to go to jail, you can have all the sex you want. And maybe some you don't want, too. Sex? What kind of sex? And another rule, sweetie. You are not allowed to go potty without an adult to help you onto the potty and then off the potty, too, sweetie. Not allowed to use the potty without an adult? Of course. If you go to jail, you can use the potty anytime you want to on your own. Is there anything else? Yes. Always listen to Mommy or any other adults in the room. Okay, sweetie? You have 24 hours to make up your mind. Make up my mind? Why can't we just get divorced? I don't want a divorce. I want a perfectly well-behaved good boy. You want a perfectly well-behaved good boy? Yes. So if you want to go to jail for five to seven years, then handcuff yourself to this railing and I will call the police. But if you want to live under my roof as my toddler, put on this cute little toddler outfit and clip these baby keys to the outfit. Do you understand, sweetie? 24 hours.