10 Strategies for Success on How to Handle Toxic Types of People at Work

Most of us have experienced working with toxic people or toxic workplaces. A study in the UK shows the damage bad managers cause and good management is important. In the US, a survey found that workers' mental health is impacted by toxicity at work. Toxic people can harm team morale, increase stress, decrease productivity, and cause high turnover. They have characteristics like backhanded comments, gossiping, and criticizing. Dealing with toxic people can be exhausting, but it's important to know how to handle them effectively. The podcast Empowerment Junction provides strategies and tips for success in handling toxic people at work. It's important to establish boundaries and disengage when necessary. Polite excuses can be used to leave toxic conversations. Counter micromanagement with appreciation and openness to feedback. Stay calm and redirect the focus when faced with snide comments. Handling toxic people requires practice and consistency. Most of us have experienced working with toxic people or toxic workplaces. In fact, a recent groundbreaking study from the Chartered Management Institute in partnership with YouGov in the UK, exposes the damages that bad managers are inflicting on the organizations and the wider UK economy and describes good management as an insurance policy against toxic workplace cultures. And in the US, a survey by the American Psychology Association showed that 76% of workers who experienced toxicity at the workplace felt that their mental health was impacted by work. I mean, the effects of toxic people at the workplace can be far-reaching and often very damaging to the entire team and organization. From lowered team morale and increased team stress levels to decreased productivity and high employee turnover. But who are these toxic people? You know, they're the ones who are consistently knowing or not harm others through their behavior. In our previous episode, I did provide the 10 most common characteristics of toxic workplaces. And some of these are along the fact that they pass backhanded comments or act out of jealousy. They love to gossip and criticize. They accuse others of not getting the job done and always have excuses for not doing theirs. And the list goes on. It's exhausting to deal with such difficult people. Yes, you may be unable to avoid it if you work with them. So how do you deal with toxic people effectively in the workplace? Well, I'm glad you're here today and thank you for joining me. Because this is our episode where we're going to discuss strategies and tips for success and how to handle toxic people at work. Hello and welcome to Empowerment Junction. I'm Olivia Bassey, your host and guide on this path to growth. With over 15 years of experience in teaching, training, assessment, writing, and product development, I've fostered a deep-seated passion for sharing knowledge and igniting curiosity. Empowerment Junction is your go-to podcast for actionable advice and inspiration to thrive not just in the workplace but in every aspect of your life. Throughout the podcast, I'll be sharing my personal stories and equipping you with tactical strategies to grow and thrive wherever you are in life. Join me each week as we explore practical strategies and tips to navigate challenges, cultivate resilience, and achieve your goals. If you're new to Empowerment Junction, I invite you to subscribe, like, and join our community of empowered listeners. And together, let's embark on the journey to a more empowered and fulfilling life. So before we get started, I want to take a moment to express my deepest gratitude to each and every one of you who have been on this journey with me. Whether you've been a long-time listener or have just joined us, your presence and support mean the world to me. Empowerment Junction is not just a podcast, it's a community of like-minded individuals committed to growth, empowerment, and positive change. Your engagement, feedback, and enthusiasm fuels the heart of this podcast. And for that, I am truly thankful. To those who have recently discovered Empowerment Junction, welcome aboard. I am so honoured to have you join us on this path of growth and inspiration. Together, let's continue to learn, evolve, and empower each other to reach new heights. Thank you once again for being part of this incredible journey. Here's to many more empowering conversations and moments of growth ahead. Now today, I'll start by saying every workplace comprises individuals with distinct work histories, working styles, and personalities. While everybody will bring a unique personality to work, there are some ways you can spot a toxic colleague. Now, in our previous episode, we discussed the common characteristics. So in this episode, I just want to remind you signs and behaviours of toxic individuals at work. Now before we can learn how to handle toxic people at work, we must understand how to identify them. While the following isn't a comprehensive list, it's a good starting point to spot toxic employees. Number one, they're easily offended. They always want to be right. They try and to control the situation and manipulate the situation. They pass insensitive comments. They are aggressively competitive. They sabotage other people's work. And they're always whining or complaining or frequently accusing others of being wrong. And the last one on my list is they're constantly forcing the opinions of others. Do you know people like this with these types of behaviours? Now such people can also be put under different categories, such as the kiss-up or the kick-downer. Have you ever noticed how a coworker compliments senior staff members, but later in the absence criticizes those members, including you, for minor mistakes? That type of a person is a kiss-up, kick-downer for you. Now such people want to show themselves in a good light by any means necessary, even if it means questioning their team's experience in front of a senior leader. Volunteering for aggressive targets or taking credit for someone else's work. Now with a team, you'll find them setting unrealistic deadlines, piling on extra work, or making snide comments and remarks. They try to prove they're in charge by making everyone else's life harder. Now the second one, the micromanager. Have you ever spent hours working on a report only for your team leader to oversee every line and suggest minor changes that make you question your competence? The irony of a micromanager is that if you have one, you probably work the hardest and get the least done. They assign work at an unreasonable time. All tasks, big or small, are equally urgent and must be done now. Now with a micromanager, there is no autonomy or independence to make decisions. You are asked for updates all the time. A micromanager focuses on minor details instead of the bigger picture. The worst part is that they don't even give practical advice initially, but are quick to find faults. The third one on my list is the gaslighter. Now imagine working on a critical project and suddenly the goals you were aiming for change overnight. When you voice concern, your manager insists, we've always been aiming for these targets, you just haven't been paying attention. You are left confused and questioning your understanding of the project's objectives. Or you have ever been, or have you ever been to a team event only to find out that there's a dress code nobody told you about? You walk in feeling entirely out of place and when you bring it up later, your colleague acts surprised, making you question if you missed the memo when in fact it was never shared. Now the most toxic of them all, gaslighters love to control people or manipulate them by twisting their sense of reality. They leverage their power to always assert themselves as correct, making it difficult for others to challenge them. They also have a poor work ethic and low emotional intelligence. The fourth type of a character of behavior is the bulldozer. Have you ever been in a situation where you pitch your ideas to your manager, but your colleague completely dismisses you and instead presents a new agenda? Believe in the approach of situation is the way to go. Now bulldozers are connected employees who aren't afraid to use their influence to get what they want. They assert power early. For example, taking over the first five minutes of a meeting when everyone is introducing themselves or getting settled. They believe in intimidating or coercing workers to get their own way. They don't hesitate to bypass organizational norms or overlook the impacts of their actions on team dynamics and morale. They can even go behind the scenes to the senior leaders to influence things in their favor. Bulldozers, from experience, they never compromise. Now, I think it's quite important to really consider some of these characteristics of the previous episodes that I've talked about within your certain workplace and really look at the policies and processes within your workplaces to be able to really define what you're dealing with. And now I'm just going to go quickly on how to handle these types of toxic people at work because destructive employee behavior, whether of a colleague or a manager, can leave anyone feeling demotivated. And there's certain ways that you can deal with these types of people so that you can stay in control of your life and your work because we know, as we've discussed from previous episodes, this can take over your home life. Now, the first thing, and I've said this many times and I'll repeat it, establish firm boundaries to disengage. Just because you work with a toxic person doesn't mean you can't set boundaries with them. Have an exit strategy and consider brainstorming a few go-to lines of time that you can pull out as needed. Now, here are some ideas and examples. The first one, if you're stuck in a toxic conversation, use an excuse to leave. You could say, sorry, but I must finish this within the hour. Can we talk later? Or, sorry, I have to get into a meeting. Can we continue this later? What you'll note from this example and this first idea is, you are being polite. Politeness is the goal of this game. You are in a game because you're dealing with toxic people. Now, the second idea, if your supervisor starts micromanaging your work, learn to counter in ways like, and this is gonna take some practice. I appreciate your guidance. It's good to learn something new every day. Communicate that you're open to constructive feedback, but will on your work. And as I say, this is consistency with the practice. The next idea, if your toxic coworker passes snide comments about you in a group setting, stay calm and say, let's focus on the project deliverables for now. Now, in each of these scenario ideas, you say something objective to diffuse the situation without being rude. If possible, there are other ways to do this, but if you want to understand how to do this without being rude, there's a video giving you specific examples of how to deal with these types of toxic people and situation. Now, let's focus on staying calm and let's focus on how to minimize the interaction with these toxic employees. As an example, you can change your schedule or office hours if possible. Have a look at your HR policies. Request a change in seating or even a team. Again, this can take time. Have a look at your policy. This depends on what type of policies. And if you have a minimal HR in place, communicate by email as much as possible instead of face-to-face meeting. I find this the most effective when you're dealing with a toxic person because email has got trails as evidence. Now, the second method is to use the gray rock method. I've already discussed the gray rock method. This is a psychological strategist for dealing with individuals who are emotionally manipulative or toxic. It's named after the concept of becoming as uninteresting and unresponsive as a gray rock. You can apply this gray rock method by using a monotone voice to make the conversation dull and less engaging. Avoid eye contact to signal to the person you're not interested in interacting more than necessary. Steer or steer in a way towards, steering towards mundane subjects and likely to spark interest or emotional interactions if forced into a conversation. Go back to the video where I discussed toxic situations. That can be another way of practicing this method. When you keep an emotional distance and appear to be as dull as a gray rock, you starve toxic people with the fuel they need to continue their negative behavior with you. The next strategy, create a personal impact filter. Now, this filter involves a set of questions or criteria you run through after interaction with a toxic employee to assess its actual impact on your work and well-being. This helps reduce the interactions emotionally and mental toll on you. Now, here's how you can implement this technique and I've got three here. The first one, identify what truly matters to you. Criteria might include questions like, does this affect the quality of my work or is this affecting my professional relationships? The second technique, after an encounter with a toxic employee, ask yourself whether the interaction meets any of the defined criteria. And the last technique, if the interaction doesn't pass through your filter, consciously choose to let it go. Tell yourself it's not worth your energy. And this is powerful when you can know when to just step away and say no. Now, these methods reinforce your control over how you react and process interactions, empowering you to maintain composure and professionalism. The next four strategies is use Socratic questioning. Now, Socratic questioning involves a disciplined and thoughtful dialogue between two or more people when dealing with a toxic colleague. Use this method to challenge their negativity or problematic assertions without directly confronting them. Here's an example. Your toxic colleague frequently complains about team's decisions, asserting they're always excluded from decision-making. You can reduce the toxicity in their narrative by asking probing questions that encourages them to explain their thoughts and behavior. So this is you. You can say, you mentioned you left out, you feel left out of decision-making. Which decision specifically? Toxic coworker. I wasn't asked about the project timeline. This is you asking them, understood how could your input have altered the timeline? And this is their response, the toxic coworker. I would have proposed something more realistic. So you go back to responding to them. Interesting, what's your timeline idea and why? How can we include your insights moving forward? Now, if this conversation doesn't result in a positive outcome, you at least postulate them and ask them to justify their behavior indirectly. And this takes some practice. You can note it down on your phone so you're ready for them. Now, the next strategy, gamify your interactions with a toxic employee. What I mean is convert your conversation with such a person into a personal game. And let's say this is games, this is games to them. Set goals for keeping your composure to making dealing with them less stressful. As an example, set yourself a challenge to take three deep breaths before responding to any negative emotions or comments. If you remain calm in all conversations throughout the week, reward yourself with something you enjoy like an exceptional cup of coffee or an extra break. One of my favorite places or ways to deal with this when I'm doing this game is the deep breaths is I'll tell myself, I'll count to 10 before I speak. So when they say something, I'll compose myself and I'll count to 10 in my head. And then I'll look up and I'll smile and I'll move on. Or another way, you can define a goal to find at least one point of agreement with a toxic person during meetings or casual conversations. This will help you handle toxicity positively. Reduce workplace anxiety and improve your interpersonal skills. And this is a skill that's going to take practice. It takes practice to deal with these types of characters and behaviors. The next strategy, make professional development a priority. And this is key. Keep yourself busy and productive at work. I remember many times, I even took a writing course. That writing course has been brilliant because that's how I've been able to now write my blog. Channel your energy and focus into your work or projects that benefit your career growth. For example, as I've told you, enroll in training programs, workshop, or online courses that enhance your skillset. This will make you more valuable to your current team and open doors to new projects where you interact less with toxic employees and enjoy better workplace flexibility. This is, for me, this was quite a game changer because when I went back to that toxic workplace, it didn't really matter what the toxicity they wanted to send my way. Now, the next key, volunteer for new projects, especially those that are cross-departmental or involve working with different teams because this, particularly the teams that boost you. This diversifies your work experience within the organization and can also reduce your exposure to a particular toxic coworker or manager. The next one, attend industry conferences, seminars, and industry events. This is powerful in many ways because a strong professional network can provide support and advice, potentially leading to other job opportunities. Now, my next strategy, seek professional meditation, and this is quite important because these types of people can drain your energy. If the situation doesn't improve, propose meditation through HR, a manager or even a colleague to address ongoing conflicts. And this is only, you're only able to do this if you have an effective and supportive HR system. Now, as an example, if you're looking to finish a project on time but face challenges due to a toxic employee's behavior or lack of cooperation, professional meditation can help you steer the issue in a productive direction. Through this strategic approach, you and the toxic employee can communicate concerns, expectations, and barriers in a controlled environment guided by a neutral mediator. Now, if nothing positive comes out, you at least let the mediator know about the issue and how the other person's behavior is causing delays. The next strategy, build your support system. Don't suffer in silence. Everyone deals with toxicity at some point in their lives. Building team trust will help you relieve stress, stay strong, and maintain a healthy perspective at work. Talk to close colleagues, friends, or family about what you're experiencing. Sometimes, venting about the situation can help you feel better and less overwhelmed. Moreover, people you talk to might offer valuable advice or insight on handling the situation. And the next one is to maintain an exceptionally positive attitude because this is what is key here. And I'll tell you why. Because toxic people can drive anyone up the wall because their behavior is irrational. Now, don't allow yourself to get sucked up in and respond to them emotionally, stay positive. Resilience is key here. I've done an episode of resilience. Go back and listen to it, employ those strategies. Empower yourself by being resilient with these types of people because that is how you'll win this game. And the most important, the last one, take care of yourself. Remember, self-care isn't a luxury. In fact, I love a quote from Audre Lorde, one of the famous black poets. Self-care is a political act. It's a service you do to yourself. Develop appropriate coping mechanisms to remain strong in a stressful environment. And you'll only do this by making sure, number one, you're eating healthy, you're getting plenty of sleep, you're exercising and keeping yourself hydrated. You can also start a private journal. I've already discussed the benefits of having a journal. Meditation or engaging in art therapy to process your emotions constructively and to bring a sense of calm to your daily routine. Now, when you have so many creative outlets to resort to, you'll be busy and therefore won't always center your thoughts on the toxic employee. So, just a quick recap on how to handle toxic employee. Number one, establish boundaries and minimize interactions. Number two, be or practice the grey rock method, which is an intrusive and unresponsive. The third method, evaluate the actual impact on you and set certain criteria on how you're going to work with them. The next one, challenge their negativity in a positive way. The next, the fifth one, incentivize yourself for staying calm. And by number six, focus on your growth. Find ways to grow yourself. Go for a new training session, a new writing course, or some volunteering. The sixth one, seek help. Make sure you're seeking help, particularly if it's now becoming a pervasive issue. The seventh one, build a supportive network. Somebody who can listen to you without being judgmental about the situation you're in or the environment. The eighth one, stay positive. And last but not least, practice self-care and coping techniques. Now, in this episode, we've delved into how to handle toxic people at work and the 10 strategies for success. Now, if you're going to practice any of these strategies, I do encourage you to think or to look at it in a way that this is going to take time because this is the first step towards creating a healthier and more positive work environment. And I'd like to encourage you to join us in our next episode because we will be delving further into how to navigate certain situation with certain senior leaders in the organization. I will dive deeper into principles for dealing with certain members or key members of staff within certain workplaces. So I really hope you're able to join us next time as we navigate challenging dynamics to continue to protect your well-being and foster a positive change in your professional life. Please remember, don't miss out to tune in to our next episode for invaluable insight and empowering guidance. And I really wish you all the best as you deploy this strategy. And once again, thank you so much for listening to this week's episode. If you haven't already, please subscribe to stay updated and empower yourself with the tools you need to thrive in any work environment. And by all means, thank you for those who've been writing to me. Feel free to write to me, feel free to like, subscribe, comment, and share. Thank you.