King Harris 2

The conversation revolves around parenting and how parents should balance providing for their children's needs while also teaching them the value of hard work and appreciation. The hosts discuss the importance of setting boundaries and not giving children everything they want, as it can lead to entitlement and lack of appreciation. They also touch on the fact that each child's perspective and needs may differ based on their upbringing and age. The hosts emphasize the need for open communication between parents and children when discussing parenting choices and addressing any concerns or criticisms. And we're back right here on the Unemployment Line, Doc and Larry P talking about King Harris. What I want to talk about right now is, in the last segment we discussed a little bit about, you know, T.I.'s parenting and, you know, now that King is an adult, you know, he had some critiques, some concerns about his upbringing. And he was just trying to, you know, inform the people, you know, like things were tough for him as a child. But coming from the perspective of somebody who had to get it out the mud, if you are a father who truly had to, you know, work hard, get it out the mud, how do you show your kids like, hey, I love you, but at the same time, you know, you ain't live no tough life. Like, like, how do you like soften it for kids in a way that they won't end up soft? Oh, you just got to listen. And I had this conversation. I had this conversation often with so many people. You don't have what people say. I want I want my kids to not have to grow up the way that I did. That's fine. Put a roof over their head. Put food in the fridge. Put clothes on their back. They didn't grow up like you did. Just that that easy, that easy. But then when you like, I want to take my kids. I need my kids to experience Disney World or I want my kids to be able to say that by the time they turn 15, they've been to seven different countries or stuff like your kids don't need that. Because at the end of the day, what your kids are growing up with. Nor did they ask for all that. Yeah, they did. That's the other key thing. Like, I think a lot of people are doing things for their kids that they trying to give their kids the childhood that they wanted versus the childhood that their kids need. Yeah. Which are two different things. And when you start doing that, your kids start. It's not that your kids are growing up soft. It's the fact that they did. It's like the theory of $100 bill, right? If I give a baby $100 bill, the baby probably ripped $100 bill up. Just playing with it. If I give a 15 year old $100 bill, he may go spend it on or she may go spend it on maybe some shoes and candies and food. If I give a 25 or 26 year old $100 bill, they're going to be like, oh, I need to put this aside for some bills or something. But everybody's going to view that $100 bill differently. And what's your kids? When you start giving your kids all these different things, like when you don't got it out the mud and now you raising kids is like you making sure that your kids ain't got to get it out the mud. They start growing up and not appreciating the things that you appreciate because they didn't have to, like, experience those different, like those, uh, those limitations, I should say. So how do you fight against the whole idea of them feeling like your kids are unappreciative? Because I think that's another component to it as well. Like you have a situation where, like, you have a person who nobody, you know, nobody was out here making sure our lights were on. Nobody, like I had to go make sure my own food was in the refrigerator. And like your, for your kids, like, that's just the norm. Like, daddy, what's for dinner? Oh, we're having lasagna tonight. Ew, yuck. I don't like lasagna. Y'all kids don't appreciate nothing. Like, is it that they don't appreciate nothing or is it that typically y'all don't make lasagna and your kids don't really care for lasagna? It's two different things. Well, I think it also comes with ages and different, you know what I'm saying? Because, you know, I got my nephew, he's 18. And, um, maybe I make lasagna. Maybe I make Alfredo some nights. Maybe I make spaghetti. Maybe I make some steaks and maybe I make nothing. Maybe I walk in here with a bag of Wendy's and it's got food for me and you find yourself something to eat. Why? Because my job is to make sure you got a roof over your head, clothes on your back, food in the fridge. There's food in the fridge. Just because I went to Wendy's don't mean I got to get you something from Wendy's. I work for my money. I put food in here. Find something. I think when they get older and they can actually, like, provide for themselves or at least they're self-sufficient to an extent, then that's when it's like, oh, I don't want lasagna. All right, cool. Y'all ain't got to eat lasagna. Go find something else to eat. That'd be my argument all the time at home. I'd be like, listen, man, we don't got to eat the same thing, man. We really don't. Yeah. Look, that'd be my logic all the time. I'd be like, oh, y'all be all right. I used to, like, feel guilty about it in the early stages. And I used to, like, go get me something to eat and, like, eat it in the car in the driveway or something and then come in the house and act like I ain't had nothing to eat. I'm laughing because the logic is not, man, I'm at this drive-thru. Let me get my nephew something, too. No, no. The logic is I ain't getting him nothing. There's food in that refrigerator. But since I feel bad, I'm about to eat this four-for-four in the car. I'm going to eat it over here so they don't know I got food without them. But now it's like I want a house with them. Tonight? Nah, I'm not even really even hungry tonight, man. But, you know, I know it's like, you know, it's a taco kit in there, some ground beef. You can go ahead and chef yourself up. Yeah, but nah, you ain't got to make me nothing to eat. I don't need nothing. You know I'm good and well. You not smash them nuggets and that junior bacon in the car. Look, it's bacon. It's eggs in there. It's bread in there. It's sandwich meat in there. Noodles. Like, it's food in there. Like, don't make me feel like I'm going crazy because, like, ooh, I'm hungry. All right, start something to eat. Because you know what the old folks used to say? If you're hungry enough, you'll go eat something in there. It's noodles in there. I don't want noodles when you ain't hungry enough. Yeah, see, that was my go-to. Well, not my go-to. My grandmother's go-to when I was a child was always, hey, man, if you're stomach full, you're stomach full. I don't know why you out here talking about your preferences. Yeah. Like, you got beans and rice. I don't want beans and rice. And like you said, then you not hungry. Don't tell me you hungry if you don't want these beans and rice. But, yeah, when you, like, in a situation like TI King and all, like, I think a lot of times a lot of people, a lot of parents want to have kids, but they don't, there's no manual on how to do it, right? But when you see, like, I think it comes down, I think it comes down the line of parenting. It's a lineage of parenting, right? Usually, like, the parents are, like, with the TIs and Kings, King, the situation, they didn't grow up with, like, father figures or they didn't grow up with, like, you know, parents that can, like, show them how to do it. So they had to get it out of the mud, not only for themselves, but they got out of the mud for, I guess, TI probably got out of the mud for his mom and all this stuff, too. So, like, he's basically being the parent. But if you got a situation like Shaq, where Shaq's dad was in his life, and Shaq's dad. It was his stepdad who was in his life. Okay. His biological father was in, but he did have a father in the home. Yeah. He had a father. Let's just clarify that. He had a father figure that was showing him, like, you know, how to be a responsible person or a reasonable person or whatever. But, like, if you look at the way, like, Shaq say all the time with his kids, he'd be like, I'm not, like, they'd be like, we rich, daddy. He'd be like, no, y'all not rich. I'm rich. Like, I got this money. Y'all going to get y'all own money. You know? Like, that's not him saying that, like, he not going to help take care of his kids or he going to leave his kids to, like, fall on their face. But, like, don't think that this money is y'all money. Don't think that this spoon that I'm eating with, the same spoon y'all going to eat with. Like, y'all going to have to find y'all own ways. You know? But, like I said, you got, but that's because there is, there was, there was a game plan or a foundation set when he was making money versus, like, well, you got some of these people, like, Dr. Dre and his kids. Like, he started making money, and it was like, well, I ain't had nobody show me how to do this. So, look, we all kids. I'm going to just buy y'all whatever y'all want. And then when they get older, they be like, daddy, daddy, I need this. And he be like, look, you know, money don't grow on no trees, y'all. Y'all got to go get it for y'allself. So, that goes to, like, the theory of love languages. Like, one theory on it is what people crave the most is what they got the least. So, like, a lot of times with, like, people are like, oh, my love language is, like, physical touch. It's because I didn't get enough hugs as a kid. Or my love language is gift giving. It's, like, well, we grew up, and I didn't get a lot of stuff. And so, like, I really value stuff or words of affirmation. It's like nobody ever told me I did a good job. Everybody always just fussed at me. So, I'm like, I truly value, like, somebody, like, saying, hey, man, you're doing a great job. I appreciate it. Like, those are the types of things that there is no perfect way to parent. Because no matter how well you parent, your kids are going to be able to point out something like, yeah, you did that, but, you know, it wouldn't really have been great if you would have done this. But then that brings me to the point of King is 18. And when you get older, especially your upper teens, maybe your early 20s, like, sometimes kids feel bold enough to start criticizing their parents' parenting. So, what is the appropriate way to handle that both as a kid and as a parent? Like, if you want to point out something to your parent like, hey, mama, daddy, I mean, you didn't do X, Y, Z when I was a kid. Like, how do you approach that with your parent? And then we'll get to, like, the parent response on that. Well, I mean, at the end of the day, that video, and I spoke about this, like, when that King Harris video came out. Like, I watched the video, like, two or three times. And I was like, the one thing I can point out that, like, this man don't respect his mom and daddy. There's a level of respect there that you have. Because I was like, you can tell your parents, like, they did something wrong. But, like, when you cussing at your parents or talking to them, like, he was talking to his parents like they were, like, random people on the street in front of the sitco. And I was like, anybody, especially in the black community, any kid talking to their parent like that, they already know. I'm going to tell you this, man. I never, like, freely cussed in front of my parents. Like, even, like, when I was, like, even as a well-grown adult, it was just like, I'm just not going to do it. Like, there's just a level of respect that you have for your parents. Like, even, like, I think I, what's that? I'm not going to say what age I was. But I was definitely a grown adult the first time. I was just like, you know what? I'm going to go in here and I'm going to pour this drink. And I know my grandmama's sitting right there. Like, there's a level of respect. And so I definitely see what you're saying. I'm watching the video. It's like, yeah, clearly, clearly, there's no, there's some disconnect. Because he is not viewing you as a father. He is viewing you like you're just some dude. Like, you're his peer. Like, he can talk to you like we're equals. Like, there's never a point where I've ever felt like that with my parents. But I know I've seen other people in regular shmegular life interact with their parents in that way. So I don't know where that comes from. But at the same time, it may be things that you want to address with your parents. Like, how do you do it? Yeah. So, yeah, that as well. Like, there's a level of respect. But that's not to say that you can't say, you know, well, mom, when I was growing up, I didn't really feel like that. You know, like, when you get, when you become like 18, 20, 25, when you get older, like, you really can't sit down with your parents and say, like, look, man, like, I know you really felt like you was doing your best. I understand. Like, you probably was like a single parent raising kids by yourself and trying to figure it out. But, yeah, I wish you could have did this more or this could have. And you know what I'm saying? Maybe I'm not saying that y'all going to have a heart-to-heart, y'all going to have a come-to-Jesus moment or whatnot. But I'm saying that, like, you'll be able to have that conversation. And whatever your parents' response, you are now an adult. And if your parents say, well, you weren't grateful and all this stuff, then that's your, look, you say, all right. All right, Mom. All right, Dad. I said what I had to say. And you just go on with your life. Or your parents say, I'm sorry, son. I'm sorry, daughter. And I could do better. You're right. You know, but at the end of the day, y'all are adults. You look at that same situation just as if it's your friend. You and your best friend. If your best friend did something, you're like, look, man. Or your wife, your husband, your partner. You know, there's a way to respectfully say, hey, man, you know, when we was growing up, like, you did this and I wish you didn't do this. And I think also what's most important is if something bothers you, you should figure out when you're going to say something about it and go ahead and say it. Don't just keep keeping it in and expect, like, because your parent is not going to have some epiphany like, you know what, son? I realize that I was not there enough for you when you were a teenager and I apologize. That ain't, you can wait. What's more likely to happen is y'all just never going to have that conversation and you just going to always have that bothering you. If it bothers you, you should probably say something about it. And then once you said it, like, put it out in the universe, it's been said, and then let it go. Like, you can't keep circling back to your mama and daddy and being like, hey, remember what y'all going to apologize for having the cameras in here all the time? Like, that ain't going to happen. But this is the thing. And this is the thing, like, with today's day and age of social media, right? And me and my old coworker, we used to talk about this all the time. By the time the video is rolling, like, you see what's happening when the video is rolling. There's a reason why the cameras always come out. Nobody ever sees what happened before the camera came out. So, you know what I'm saying? Everybody looks like, oh, King, disrespectful, da-da-this, da-da-that. But, you know, maybe King walking around doing some stuff, you know, T.I. talking slick off the mouth. Or there go King thinking he better than us. Or there go King trying to be hood. Or there go King. And you know what I'm saying? Like, after a while. Then you go crying again. After a while, when you start hearing enough stuff, like, you know, we don't know if this is the straw that broke the camera's back. And King was like, you know what? Nah, bump out of this, bro. Like, I know you my daddy, but we can go toe-to-toe right now. Look at here, Clifford. Right. You know what I mean? I'm going to tell you right now. You got one more thing to say, and then I'm going to tell you about yourself. I'm not defending King, but at the same time, I'll be like, look, man, there's always three sides to the story. Their side, King's side, T.I.'s side, and then you got the truth. We don't know what's happening with the truth. Like, King might be fed up. King might have been dealing with T.I. stuff for like a whole week. King's like, all right, bro. Like, dog, you've been wild since Thanksgiving. Now I'm tired of you. Speaking of tired of you, when we come back, we're going to talk about what do you do as a parent when your adult child comes at you sideways. It's the unemployment law.