Lantok October 2023 Aging

The hosts of Land Talk discuss the topic of aging and how society views it. They question why certain activities or objects are associated with a specific age and how society imposes these norms. They also mention cultural differences, such as in Asia where aging is revered, and some cultures where the elderly are seen as burdens and may be killed. They reflect on their own experiences with aging and the different perspectives they've encountered. Overall, they highlight the complexity and varied perceptions of aging in different societies. Hello, and welcome to the October edition of Land Talk. I'm Christina, and I'm here with Ari. Hey. We're going to talk about aging. Yes, that's such a colorful subject. It is. It is. It can be. Is there a particular place where you would like to start? No, really? Well, the whole purpose of talking about aging was because I noticed that a lot of people coming into work, not only the members, but also the people who work here, will bring up their ages at some point for anything like, oh, I'm so old for this, or oh, I'm too old to be doing this. I don't know, people who work with me, they are young, and they are like, I'm not old enough to be doing that. What do you mean with that? Is there an age to be doing this? Like this Hello Kitty notebook. I'm too old for that. Why? I'm not. Why are we relating things with age? What does it have to do with age? I think it's something that's kind of imposed upon us a little bit by society. You know, there are some things that you do when you're certain ages, and that's that. And if you're outside of the norm, then, you know, you're just weird. Yeah, but society is odd. Right, yeah. Society is odd. Like, this happens to a certain point because we accept it. Yes, yes. We accept it and perpetuate it, even if we don't like it sometimes. Yeah. So that's an interesting dynamic. It is weird. And we don't, as a society, we don't treat, like, aging as a good subject. We don't like people aging. We recommend people to not have white hair, to dye your hair if it is white, to not... My, oh my God, my mom refuses to use glasses because she says, she swears that it's for all people. And I'm around like, what do you mean? You need to see that it has nothing to do with age. You need to see. Yes. Aw. Like, there are, you know, glasses for babies and children. So she can get glasses. Oh my gosh, do you want me to talk to her? Please. Okay. She refuses to get glasses. This woman drives around. But like, I was more interested in her answer. She's like, I don't want to wear glasses because I'm going to look old. And like, one thing has nothing to do with the other. How old are you? What age are you? Has nothing to do with you wearing glasses. Yeah. I was talking to someone recently about moving. And I said, oh, I'm too old to be, you know, moving my stuff up and down stairs. But I think it really is less to do with age and more to do with the fact that I'm not really in shape. Like, I don't exercise that much. Me neither. You know, I think it's more an issue of, like, my dad was very, is very fit. He can probably still, he's in his 70s, and he is more able to work outside and carry out strenuous activities than me. I'm like, oh no. I got to get in the AC upstairs. Never mind. Like, good for you, you run. I'll be waiting for you. Yeah, those sit-ups look really hard that you're doing there. I don't know. It's never been part of my daily routine. So I think that probably has more to do with it than anything. Then being old is not an age. It has nothing to do with. Yeah. So when, is it, how do you think it is looked upon in different countries? Like, do you think there's a cultural difference? There is in some places. I will not tell you about, like, everywhere in the world because I don't know. There are many countries that I don't even know the name of, let alone the culture. But for example, I know in Asia, it is good to be old. You're revered, right? Yeah, because you have more experience. You have lived more. And in Venezuela, there is this thing that says, there's like a saying, like, phrase that says, the devil knows more because he's older because he's a devil. And basically the idea is like, if you are old, you have experienced things, you have gone through things, you know more. You are wise. Yes. But that is not going on here. Here being old is like something bad. No. No. It's, yeah. I have come across that, you know, a lot recently. Being, my daughter is expecting and I'm going to be a grandma. And I'm like, how is that? I don't feel like a grandma. But it doesn't matter, you know. It doesn't matter because it doesn't mean that I'm old. It just means my kid had a kid. That's all. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, there's so much empowering in it because, wow, I don't have to worry about, or I will worry, you know. It's a kid in the family. It's a kid in the family. Of course I'm going to worry about it. But, you know, I can just spoil him and give him back to his parents and stuff. Yeah. You don't have to be a mother. It's not your 24-7. No. It's the kid you love. No. And then when I start to look at it that way, I'm like, oh, God, this is going to be great. I can be the fun one now. This is going to be amazing. I can give all the treats and all the toys and all of that stuff. So I'm excited that, you know, I get to experience that at this age. I am kind of, let's say, growing. It's something that I cannot stop. It's just happening. Whatever is my opinion on the subject, it doesn't matter. But I realize that, like, I never cared about age until this point because some people are starting to consider me an adult, and I don't like it. Like, for example, sometimes right now when you do the library cards, you have to ask people their age. Yes. And people will come to the desk and talk to me and talk to me as ma'am, and I don't care. I'm like, okay, it's respect. It doesn't matter. But I've been doing the cards, and people older than me have been calling me ma'am. And I can know it because I see the day they were born. Yes. I can see that they are four years, five years, six years older than me, and they call me ma'am. And I don't want to say nothing, but around me, I'm around like, how dare you? My mom used to be so, she used to get so mad when my friends would refer to her. You know, they came from their households, you know, it was a sign of respect, and they would call her ma'am. And she would get so upset. She would be like, don't call me ma'am. I'm not that old. And I always thought that was so, I'm like, that's so weird. It's so weird. But now, I mean, I understand it a little bit better. Now? Now that, you know, I'm grown, and now that I'm older. But it's interesting because I know what I believe for other people. You know, like, I don't think in terms of, you know, oh, that's just an, you know, an elderly person or whatever. Because we have so many members, and, you know, someone could be 50 and, you know, be a curmudgeon and seem like you're really old and just get off of my grass, get out of my yard, be that guy or girl. And then, you know, there are also times, so I, you know, I understand that. But also, you know, you can have someone who's heavy, who's extremely fit, and on top of it, and could whip you at cards or scrabble or... Oh, yeah. Or any of that. And they know all the rules. They don't forget the rules. You know, so it's just kind of, I don't know if it's purely an American thing or if other countries, if there are other countries that kind of have a negative connotation for aging. There are. I was, we were talking about, in a class about the grain of America. Okay. Like, a lot of people, there's more people getting on, getting older, people, young people coming to the workforce. And it became the subject that there are cultures around the world that kill their elderly. Oh! Yeah. Oh, God. They are just around, like, if you cannot keep, if you cannot keep, like, your own weight. Oh, my gosh. You are just, you are just being a bother to everyone else. And I thought it was something horrible. Mm-hmm. Till I realized, like, I'm not happy with it right now, but I realized that it's something so much, like, ingrained into that culture that the old people themselves go around being around, like, oh, I'm getting old. Maybe in one, two years I will have to get killed. Like, they know where they are going and they are okay with it. I was like, wow. Because I'm sure some of the, you know, a part of their culture was based on, you know, hunting and gathering, you know, survival. Yeah. I think that's where it comes from. Yeah. It is, like, a very basic kind of society. But I was impressed because I, like, when you grow inside one society and inside of their values, you grow to think that, like, everything that is right or wrong for you is related to what they told you. Yes. So imagine someone being old and telling, oh, yeah, it's the moment for me to go because I'm getting old. It's something that I could never imagine in my life. But they are. They are saying it because they grew up to be that way. Yeah. They were taught to say that. They were taught that that was okay. Yes. And you don't know any other way, so that's just how you do it. That's just, you know, the way of thinking. Yeah. It's crazy. I mean, it's still a concept that I don't really like. But at the same time, it does present a problem. I remember when I was younger, I would get upset when, you know, when someone thought that I was younger than I was. I didn't want to be perceived as younger than I was at one point. And I was offended when someone, people would say to me, oh, you'll be so glad, you know, when you get older. You'll be glad that you have those genes or you'll be glad that, you know, you've looked younger. And I could not accept that. I was like, I don't understand your way of thinking at all. But now that I'm 50, I'm like, oh, yeah, that was, those were fun times. Those were fun times when people thought I was a baby. The other one around doesn't go that great either. Most of my older cousins look younger than me. I have always looked like a little bit older, mainly because when I'm like, my relaxed face is a really serious face. So I'm always look like I'm not, I don't want to be bothered. When I was a kid, I thought it was something so cool, you know, looking like an adult, being an adult and everything. Right now, every time I do something that is slightly considered childish, people like get angry at me and people like, are like, you are this old and you're doing this thing. And I'm around like, I'm 22, that would be. I support you in whatever you do. Sorry. I know and I love you for that. I have the little disabilities that I have. Can you think of anything off the top of your head that people have told you you shouldn't do because you're too old? Not long ago, I was not here. I went with my grandma to this center that they have for the elderly or anything. And I couldn't go inside with her. It's just a group for them. But they were like, oh, you can go around doing whatever you want. And in one of the classes, they have an art class for kids. But it was like kids, you know, kind of kids. It only says that you will have to be like 25 or less. So it was not kids. It was just anyone in general. Anyone that couldn't go to the other room could come here. And I went inside and I was around like, hey, can I paint with you? Yes. And I'm horrible at painting, but I was going out trying to paint something and paint with, like, they have these paintings that have the numbers and you have to match them. Oh, yes. And I love it and I was enjoying it so much until someone, one of the workers of the place came to me like, hey, you have to get out of here. And I was like, what do you mean I have to get out of here? This is not for your age group. And you said, excuse me? And I was like, excuse me? I'm only, at the moment I was 21. I was like, I'm only 21. It says 25 plus. And they were like, yeah, well, it says 25 plus, but it's for kids. It's coloring. It's for kids. And I was so mad. Yes. But doing coloring is for kids. Right. It's for whoever wants to do it. But the worst thing, and I'm not proud of it, but I did came out of the room. No, I completely, I understand how, you know, that could kind of catch you off guard and you just go, oh, okay, this is a weird situation to be in. I guess I'll just go. Yeah, I was around, like, you know, I don't want to get problems or anything. Yeah. And though I was mad about it and I knew I was on my right because I was, like, Right. still I went around like, oh, I'm sorry, and I left. And I let this person, this random person say that coloring is for kids. Never again. Never again. Did you tell anybody about it afterwards? Like, did you mention it to your family or friends? I told my grandma when she was coming out of her class. Uh-huh. I told her, and she was like, oh, that rude person, but they didn't tell anything about, like, if it was childish or not. Uh-huh. Because my grandma is also the kind of person who thinks that certain things have certain age. Yeah. So she does think that some of the things I do are childish. Oh. She doesn't like that. She doesn't, it's not that she doesn't like it, but she thinks that it's a little bit ridiculous, the fact that I watch anime. That was my next question, because I know that you like to read... Manga. Yes. So that was one of the first things that, like, has anyone ever told you that, you know, you're too old to be reading that? Yeah. Multiple times. It hurts worse when it's a child when they tell you that. Yeah. Yeah. Because, yeah, children are, children can be ruthless. Yeah. I think I told you this story, but children not long ago called me vintage. Oh! Yeah. That's such a, that's a term I have not heard of to refer of, you know, another human being. It was, well, he didn't, to be fair with the kid, he didn't call me, he didn't, like, look at me and was like, you are vintage. But he was the thing, he brought to the desk this Boruto manga. Uh-huh. Boruto is, like, a manga about, it's like the sequel of Naruto. Uh-huh. Naruto is the one that I saw. Boruto is the children of the people in Naruto. Uh-huh. So it is a different generation. Okay. Okay. He came in, he was, like, checking it out, and to make time I start talking to him. And I'm around, like, oh, I heard that it's good and everything, I hope you like it. And he asked me, have you read it? I don't say lies, so I tell him the truth. No, I haven't read it. Uh-huh. But I watched Naruto. And he looked at me and went, that's so vintage. I was like, what? That's hysterical. You know, I wonder if, I feel like there's this stigma attached to graphic novels, to manga, to anime, where, like, there's this sweet, this very narrow window where it's appropriate for your age. Because there, you know, if you're, you know, in your 20s, some might think you're too old. But then, you know, when you are in, say, middle school, and you bring something to school to read or watch or whatever, you know, it's kind of like, oh, that's not really reading. That's not really literature. That's too young. You know, so I feel like there's just such a, everything's so skewed. There is a thing going on with graphic novels, and it, like, for a lot of adults, it being childish. Uh-huh. And I hate it, because they are stories. They are telling a story. There is something happening. It is something important. And also, I'm okay with anyone that is just looking for something to entertain them. Yeah. I don't think you need to be in a specific age to be looking at that. No. No. But people, like, people have seemed to attach comic, manga, graphic novels, everything to a certain age. Yeah. And if you look at it, like, and you are outside of that window of age, you are out of your place. You are out. Yeah. I noticed that we had, in our closet at home, I noticed there was a spirograph. And I was like, oh, my gosh, I bought that years ago. Nobody's using it. So I thought, let me bring it to work, and so I'll do a social experiment. I'm going to bring it in, and we'll see, I'm going to put it out for coloring and collage, and see, you know, which adults don't have a problem, you know, playing with spirograph, or who says, oh, this is for babies, or, we'll see what happens. What do you mean for babies? It was lovely. Or you and I can sit down. Our next staff enrichment meeting, we can take turns with spirograph. With a spirograph. Yeah, definitely. Age is a thing, and there are certain experiences that are not, I'm going back, sorry. No. That are not, it's not connected exactly to an age, but it is to a stage of life. Okay. I just realized that when I change positions here, I have said this many times, but I miss the students, and I miss being a student, especially because the things that I share with them, and the, like, the way I talk with them, the way I am with them, is not the same that I am with the rest, and some people have pointed out, like, they are still here. They are still their friends, and I'm like, no, it's different. Something is going on. Right. I can talk to them. You can change roles. Yeah. I can talk to them, and they are not afraid of me or anything. They are not treating me differently, but I'm not in the same stage that they are right now, and it's noticeable. No, that's an interesting observation. Does it make you feel any sort of way? Is it bittersweet? It's kind of bittersweet. I love them still, and talking to them is still the funniest thing ever. They will say the most random thing, and they will not be apologetic about it at all. I love our students. And I love that if you, like, if you see them, they are working, but at the same time, they will hide. Like, at the last hour, they will hide around, trying to talk things. They will talk about certain things. Yes. They know, like, the members and know where not to go close. They know all of that, and I miss that, and I love my new job. I love my new position, and I love it with my soul, but I also miss that thing, and sometimes when it happens that we have to break at the same moment, I sit to talk to them, and I love them. They always have stories and things, and sometimes a subject came up, something about high school, something about one of their classes, something about one of the boys or girls or anything that they like, and I'm hearing them, but I'm around, like, wow, it really, like, just so suddenly, I don't care about any of this. That's what I mean. It's not like I don't care about them. No, I hear you. The conversation is not as interesting for me as it was nine months ago, I think, like eight months ago. Yes. It's not the same. It's not the same, and it's weird. Well, I mean, you know, I think it is just a less necessarily age and more just like your role changed, so you're not, maybe you're not in the conversation as much. It's kind of like, you know, when people have inside jokes, and you feel like, oh, I'm on the outside of that, you know, something gets brought up, and you're not quite sure what they're referring to, that must feel slightly removed. A little bit. Yes. But it makes sense. I'm not, like, I'm working in the same place all the time, but I'm not working with them anymore, I'm not doing it anymore, I'm not, like, in the same group. Yeah, everybody retains the exact same value, it's just your modes of communication are a little bit different. So that's pretty interesting. Yeah. Well, I feel like we went on a down note. Oh, that's okay. A little bit. Yes. Let's talk about your grandma. She looks very young. She is the sassiest person you will ever meet. So, in which ways is she, you know, like, stereotypical, kind of, for her age, and in which ways is she throwing curveballs? She does say some things, for example, she doesn't like, she cuts her hair, and we don't like, we don't mind her everything, but when every one of us is, like, growing in, and we tell her, like, hey, let it just, you know, grow a little bit, she's around, like, not respectable old woman will have a long hair. And I'm around, like, grandma, please. Please. She is around saying bad things. Oh, for example, if I am, you know, just, like, dressing the way I dress, and one day I don't feel like it, and I want to use, like, a skirt or something, she's around, like, no, a skirt is for children. Oh. And I'm around, like, grandma, what you mean? I can wear what I want when I want. She is, like, she has certain things that the culture that she grew up with, like, attaches to an age, and for her, that's not going to go out of place. She always wears, like, red lipstick. I love it. Always, always, always. She says that it's the best way to, like, to use, I don't know, I don't know what the word is to use a smile, to wear a smile is with red lipstick. Oh, I love it. She's great. But she also says to me, like, I have a couple blazers in my house. Yes. And she steals them from me. And when I am around, like, grandma, I want them back, she's around, like, you're too young to be wearing blazers. And I'm, like, what? You're, like, I can't win. Did the blazer came with an age? I'm too old for this. I'm not old enough for that. I don't understand the rules. Yeah. No one gave us the rule book. No. She has the rule book, and she refuses to share it. But she also does certain things. As I told you, she travels around the world. I love it. And she will say the most unhinged thing. She was in Italy. I told you about this story. She went for a tour on Europe, and she went to Italy. And when she came back, I was, like, grandma, tell me about your trip. Tell me about everything that happened. How was Europe? And she was, like, it was hot. And I was, like, okay, well, that was summer, Europe. It makes sense that it was hot. No, it was really hot. And they took us to this really, really old building that is falling apart. What do you mean they took you to an old building? You had this old building that is falling apart and has noisy. It's really, really old. They used to do shows there or something like that. And I'm looking at her, and that's when it got me. And I'm, like, you went to the Coliseum. And she's, like, it's an old building. I'm, like, it's something in private. It's an old building. It's, like, oh. It's an old building. It's humbling. She told me. It's humbling. They should, like, they should demolish it and make a mold. And I was around, like, grandma. Oh, my God. She was, like, they have to do something with AC over there. Yes. Oh, my God. Open air. Open air AC. That's hilarious. And then, you know, there's, like, a difference between. It's funny when there's a difference between the older people in your life, you know, because they can have very different visions or ideas of what aging looks like or does not look like from person to person and family to family. We have, like, this. We were talking about this not long ago. Someone died. It was not someone in the family, but someone that she knew died. And we were talking about, like, you know, it was a heart attack and everything. And she said the sentence, he was so young. He was only 60 years old. And I was really impressed. And I went around, like, that's, you know, I don't want to be mean. But I went around, like, that's not that young, grandma. And my grandma says 60 years old is almost 19 years younger than me. And I look at her and I tell her, yeah, but it's almost three times my age. So it's relative. Like, what is old, what is young, what is. It's really relative. It's something that depends on, like, depends on your point of view. Yes. Yeah, I think so. I think it is. And I love my mom. My mom insists that she doesn't want to look old or everything. And it's really funny for me because she doesn't look old at all. No, she doesn't. She doesn't. I have not met one person that has managed to guess her age correctly. Uh-huh. And you have seen my mom. You remember her, right? Yes. How old do you think she is? Oh, my gosh. I mean, is she in her 40s? I don't want to tell you. Okay. Okay. A person on her work, because she works cleaning, told her that they couldn't keep up with her because she was like, she had too more energy. Oh, yes. And they couldn't with a 54-year-old. And my mom was laughing about that sentence. And I was laughing, too, because my mom is 58. Shut up. My mom is 58 years old. My mom is 58, my dad is 57, and my stepdad is 56. Oh, my gosh. Good for her. She's great. You know, one day she brought you, I don't remember if it was a hot chocolate. A hot chocolate. She told me. I told her that I was way too cold, and she brought me a hot chocolate. That is so insane. Which just tells you how much of a spoiler I am. I remember thinking that is the sweetest thing ever, because I was picturing myself, you know, like one of my kids telling me, oh, I'm cold. I don't know if I would stop what I'm doing and drive over to the library to bring hot chocolate. But she did that. People don't know the whole context about it, but my mom doesn't like the library. She doesn't like to be in libraries, doesn't like the places or anything. I don't know why she doesn't like to be surrounded by books. It's her deal. So she told me everything and coming into the library because I say I was cold to bring me a hot chocolate. That is so sweet. Yeah. I love her that much more. I love her, too. And she insists. She's all like, oh, I have to cover my white hairs and everything because I'm old. And I'm like, you have no idea. No. How young you look, Mom. No, no. Like you're saying, you know, it's relative. It's relative. It really is. I am sure that I'm going to get to a place where I'm going to look older than her because I'm way less energetic than she is, way less energetic, way less excited about anything. I had a fight with her because she threw a tantrum about not wanting to take a shower after we came out of the beach. And that was the conversation in the car. She was all like, I don't want to take a shower. It will take time for me. And I was like, you have to. It's not an option not to take it. And, you know, I bet she did you grow up her telling you that? Oh, when we come home from the beach, we have to take a shower. No. As I was telling you, I have always been such a serious child, such a, like, a responsible kind of people child. So I was always with my mom being around. My mom would be excited about something, like, yeah, let's do this. And I was like, no, that looks dangerous. I don't like that calculation there. No, I don't think you told things true. That was a rash decision you made. That's hilarious. I was such a serious child, and she's such a happy, energetic person. I'm almost sure I'm adopted, I know. So less to do with age, more to do with attitude. Yeah, age is not nearly as important as the attitude that you have towards life. Yeah. I think that's a good note to end on. Yeah. How about you? I like it. Well, thank you, everyone, for joining us, and we'll see you next time, or you'll hear from us next time. But you will see us around. You'll see us around, too. Have a great day. Bye, guys. Bye. Bye.