podcast 3

Kiana and Henry discuss their experiences and challenges during their time at college. They talk about the impact of COVID on their freshman year and the difficulties of adjusting to virtual classes and limited social interactions. They also mention the importance of joining clubs like First Crew and SHIP for support and socializing. They highlight the transition to sophomore year and the need to develop time management and organizational skills. Overall, they express a mix of excitement and anxiety about graduating and entering the next phase of their lives. Is this thing on? Yeah, I think so. So, hello, I am Kiana. I'm VP of External Affairs with First Crew and I am joined with... Henry. So, welcome to the spring semester, guys. And I know this is your last semester here at Crew. So, tell us a little bit about yourself. You know, what clubs are you in or anything like that? I'm a fourth year studying mechanical engineering. I'm from Hackensack, New Jersey. Right now, I'm the vice president of design for the medical technology group. I don't know about, like, actively involved with, like, First Crew, like, the onsen ship. But, I mean, like, I'll go to the GBs, like, when I have time. So, you know, senior year, how are you feeling about it, especially with graduation just around the corner? Honestly, I'm just kind of ready to leave, ready to be done. I mean, there's definitely some nerves to it and stuff because, like, there's always that uncertainty of what am I going to do after I graduate and stuff, even coming into university, too. I don't know. It's been a journey. It's crazy that it's been, like, four years, too. I feel like a lot has happened in, like, my personal life the past four years. College has been, like, such a big part of that. And now transitioning out of that is going to be a bit difficult. But, I mean, I'm looking forward to it, like, yeah, on my own. I'm starting to work, getting money. I mean, you enter college at, like, 18, you know, and you have to make all these decisions, and then now you're kicked into adulthood. So it can be, I think, a lot, like, have a lot of reflective moments, you know, being a senior. And so what I wanted to ask you is throughout your college career, you know, you mentioned, like, a lot has happened in your personal life or just, you know, being here in college in general. And what were some, like, experiences or opportunities that shaped you to who you are today? There's been a lot. Like, honestly, the past few years, I feel like there's part of me that's been, like, oh, like, it's passed by so quickly. But also, like, there's been, like, so much that's happened in that, like, even from freshman year, like, the experiences that I've had. Like, I mean, it was a bit difficult, too, because of COVID and stuff. Oh, yeah. My freshman year was kind of pretty – like, most classes were virtual, and the campus was pretty empty. That was a bit tough, like, kind of getting used to that. I don't know. I mean, like, what, like, helped me out a lot was joining clubs like First Crew, La Alianza, and SHIP. I mean, even though, like, initially because of COVID and stuff, that was mostly, like, over Zoom type stuff. It was still, like, good, like, being able to talk to people and not being stuck in, like, a little dorm room and only leaving for food. Because that's pretty much all it was, really. The classes would just be sitting at your desk watching Zoom. Kind of had, like, probably the most defining, I guess, freshman year compared to, like, how everybody else did, I think. I think that in itself was already challenging because then you're kicked into, like, sophomore year, and it all started over again. And then what were things that were difficult throughout that time? And then also just, like, because you didn't have the most conventional start, you know, was it hard to adjust to, like, how it is now? I think a lot of it was, like, more, like, social aspect, too. Because, like, even ending high school, like, I feel like before COVID even happened, like, having those, like, moments with, like, your, like, friends in high school and stuff. And it was, like, senior year, so you would, like, imagine, like, oh, these are, like, the last months I'm going to have. And then COVID hit. Yeah. And then you're just stuck at home. And then I feel like you don't think about it as much when you get into college, but then coming, this is not what I expected college to be. Yeah, that's true. Because it's just so, like, everybody's isolated. Like, they're trying to minimize, like, human contact because it was such, like, a worry. And also, like, being from New Jersey, like, going from there to Ohio and to Cleveland. Yeah. It was, like, tough because that was, like, the first time I was really, like, far away from my family, kind of having to adapt to, like, being on my own. Like, also being far from not just family but also, like, friends that I had back home. Yeah. It was kind of like a restart. Like, now you're in a new area with a lot of people you don't know. So now you kind of have to restart, like, try to form those relationships with people, like, meet people. Like, how they always say, like, socialize and stuff. But especially during COVID, it's, like, how are you going to do that? Yeah, that's true. Like, you're going to have to go over Zoom and just, like, talk to a screen. That's all it was. It wasn't really that, like, personal connection. I mean, it's gotten better now, like, since the restrictions are gone. Like, even transitioning from freshman year to sophomore year was such, like, a big thing because, like, you had an empty campus and then all these people are back now. Yeah. And, like, then classes were, like, most classes were, like, in person. And so you would be in, like, these big, like, lecture halls. And, like, then you would kind of be, like, oh, this is, like, the college I expected. Right. I feel like sophomore year kind of feels like the first year of college because freshman year, like, because of COVID and stuff, I feel like part of me and, like, probably other, like, seniors now probably think, like, you don't really know if that counted. Coming into college, you expect, like, all these, like, kind of bustling activities to happen or at least having, like, a year to adjust, you know, because first year is probably, like, the most important year. Yeah. And you're trying to, like, define the rest of your life. But then it's kind of hard when the rest of that year was just on a computer screen. So besides COVID, was there, like, any meaningful things that happened? Like, after having to, like, transition out of that and then especially being, like, first in here at Crew, it's definitely difficult. And so how have you been able to manage that? I mean, even getting into, like, CASE was still, like, a new thing for me. Like, I received support. Like, I got into, like, this program that helped low-income students in New Jersey, like New Jersey Seeds. But, like, they helped me a lot with, like, the college application process. And, I mean, they're the reason I found CASE Western, really. Yeah. Like, them helping me do the research because, like, I have an older sister. She did, like, go to college and stuff, but she stayed in-state and also didn't do STEM. So, like, I'm also, like, so I'm doing STEM. So I'm, like, in the first in my family to do STEM, too, and, like, trying to, like, find or even, like, trying to find a major that you're interested in. You don't really think about that in high school too much because you don't really have that preparation, like, with family and stuff because they don't really know. Like, I feel like they kind of assume, like, it's an easy thing. Like, you'll graduate high school, you'll go to college. Like, it's that easy. Yeah, it's high school 2.0. Yeah, and it's, like, it kind of feels like it's just, like, an easy, like, transition from point A to point B. But you don't, like, there's, like, a lot that goes into that whole application process and figuring things out. And even when you're there, like, coming to CASE and stuff, like, having to deal with all those classes and, like, now you're kind of, like, on your own schedule pretty much because in high school it was kind of, like, you have that schedule in class that you know you have to follow. But, like, you kind of do get a bit more freedom in college and stuff. Like, professors kind of, because, I mean, at this point, you're kind of paying to be there. So it's, like, up to you now to, like, put in the work and stay organized with all your classes and not fall behind. But not having, like, really that help with advice was a bit difficult. Like, kind of just having to, like, pretty much figure it out on your own. Just, like, seeing what works, seeing what doesn't. I mean, it's, like, definitely freshman year kind of trying to, like, organizational skills. Like, sometimes, like, time management stuff, maybe not the best right now. But freshman year, it was tough. Yeah. It was, like, very, like, hard. There's also, like, moments where you're, like, overstressed and, like, overwhelmed with everything. Yeah. And you don't really, I mean, especially with COVID and stuff, you don't really have somebody to talk to about the experiences. Like, I could be calling back home, but it's not like my mom's going to understand that I have all these, like, tests coming up or all this homework. That's true. So it's kind of just, like, okay, I got to figure out how to do this. Yeah. And then, yeah, but I mean, like, the clubs, like, first crew and, like, shipping alliances, they helped a lot. Like, having those, like, de-stressing events, like, GB meetings. And then also, like, I guess trying to, like, help with, like, socializing. Like, okay, like, I know it's, like, COVID's happening, but at least being able to kind of have that aspect, kind of going there. And then, like, sophomore year, too, there's still, like, it was, like, definitely a big transition. Like, okay, I had to deal with, like, COVID, and now it's kind of gone. So, like, now we're back in classes. So now I, like, how do I, like, make sure I get to class on time and all those types of things? I mean, it's also different when you're, like, learning, like, looking at a screen than when you're, like, in person. Yeah. Like, for me, I, like, I guess it depends on the class, too, but I do like being in person more because I feel like when you're, like, looking at a screen, it's so much easier to just, like, look at your phone and, like, not pay attention. And so that's, like, freshman year. I, like, went to my phone so much and, like, barely learned a lot. Like, yeah, so that was difficult. But, I mean, my sophomore year is definitely, like, a change. So, like, kind of dealing with that. But also, like, being able to socialize a bit more. Like, now you're not, like, stuck behind a screen. Now you can actually, like, see people and stuff. So that was definitely better. I mean, still, like, when you're, like, first gen, it's, like, you're still kind of figuring things out on your own. Yeah. Like, you don't really, like, know what's going on. So it's, like, a bit difficult. And, like, also with, like, internships and stuff. The hardest one. Yeah, and, like, freshman year because of, like, COVID and stuff, it's, like, I didn't really, like, try to apply until, like, pretty late. Yeah. I mean, even, like, I know people think it's, like, difficult to get internships as a freshman. But, like, I mean, I've heard of it happening. It's just, like, finding those opportunities to do that. But I feel like it's, like, sometimes it's hard to even, like, learn when the best time to, like, apply. Or even know what opportunities there are. Because it's kind of just up to you to, like, look. And it's, like, overwhelming. Because you have to, like, look at a bunch of companies. Yeah. And, like, it's up to you to, like, not, like, it's, like, up to you to, like, do the research, look into companies. And that's, like, difficult. What I liked about SHIP was that they helped with, like, they had, like, the national convention. Like, I had technically gone the freshman year. But that one was virtual. Yeah. And then, but they have in-person ones. So then, like, sophomore year I went to the one they had in Orlando. So that was nice. Like, you see a lot of, like, other, like, Hispanic students who, like, majority are usually, like, first gen too. Right. But, like, that helps a lot to, like, bridge that gap. So, like, you learn about those educational opportunities. And, like, internship opportunities too that you don't really, like, learn anywhere else. Because I feel like it's really hard to, like, find that help. Yeah. Because I feel like sometimes people, like, assume, like, okay, you're in college. Like, the same way kind of transitioning from high school to college, a lot of people assume that it's, like, such a straightforward process. Yeah, that's true. But even, like, when you're in college too, like, also for internship stuff, it's, like, not a straightforward process. Like, with all the stuff that goes into that too, like, resume, interview. A cover letter. Yeah, it's a lot to learn. And if you don't really have that help, it can be really difficult. Yeah. Like, when I found out that there was more to the just your degree and you actually had to, like, you know, internships, you know, jobs outside that weren't, like, you know, work study based or just, like, financial need based and how they want stuff that pertains to engineering or, for example. It was, like, oh, so my degree is not the only thing I need to be successful, especially because it's already kind of hard here. So, like, find, I guess, a support system that, you know, caters to, like, first generation students. You know, where do I go from there besides, like, a social aspect? Yeah. Like, is there a specific professor that was first gen that I can talk to or, you know, a here and I made it story kind of. And sometimes that kind of lacks. And it can be, like, pretty difficult because, you know, I have a lot of friends that are first gen. And, you know, when we talk to our parents and stuff and call them, it's like, oh, yeah, how are you doing? And it's, like, pretty superficial because I can't really be like, oh, well, I'm taking EBMU 202. Yeah. Had a test on the muscular system and we're learning about whatever, whatever. Because then it will just be like, oh, that's cool, you know. And then, like, they're there, but sometimes they even feel guilty of just, like, not being able to answer my questions or be, like, that kind of support. So I feel like that is also, like, kind of tough that isn't really talked about when you're coming here. Yeah, definitely. I mean, I feel like sometimes, like, talking with parents too, like, about, like, how you're doing and stuff, like, sometimes there's, like, that, like, feeling of, like, guilt. You have, like, like, maybe you're not doing well, but you don't want to let them know that because you know that, like, like, they probably, like, even, like, being here is still, like, not just this, like, it's also a big sacrifice that they're doing. Yeah. And so you don't want to say, like, you don't want to, like, throw up all of your problems on them and be, like, oh, I'm having this bad time, I'm having a bad day. You kind of, like, that's, like, that kind of goes into, like, the superficial thing. Like, sometimes you just act happy and just say, yeah, I had a good day. Yeah. But, like, in reality you're kind of, like, overstressing and being, like, overwhelmed with class and stuff, but you, like, you don't want to, like, kind of burden them with that. Yeah. And so I feel like that also leads to, like, yourself kind of feeling a bit more isolated too because it's, like, like, I'm dealing with this and sometimes you feel like you're the only one dealing with it, but I think it's, like, good to, like, know, like, especially with, like, First Crew, like, there's a lot of, like, first-gen students too and they're kind of, like, all going through the same thing and we're, like, all in this, like, new space. And then it's, like, hard to communicate with family too because you don't want to burden them with any of that. You want to act like everything's all good. Like, yeah, this is easy, you know, I'm going to get this degree. But sometimes... The degree got me. Yeah. Yeah, like, at least for me because I have siblings and I have, like, a younger brother, so it's, like, you know, he'll ask me questions on it and, you know, and it's nice to be, like, the person that he can talk to because, you know, he now has, like, a little bit of an advantage than I did when I was in high school of just, like, what do I do with this resume? Or, like, how do I even apply to college and stuff? And, like, sometimes I feel guilty for being upset that I didn't get that when, like, it was out of my parents' control. You know, I'm glad I can help my little brother in, like, the process of, you know, applying to this stuff. And then just sometimes it's just, like, you know, I wish that was me kind of thing. Yeah, no, I mean, I get that. Like, I also have a little brother, too, and a nephew, too, and, like, I feel like, like, although I kind of, like, sometimes you do have, like, those feelings, like, I lacked a lot of that, like, support and help, but, like, now that you've kind of gone through it, you know that you can give that advice and, like, guidance to them, too. And so, like, that's also, like, sometimes, like, if you're having a bad day, too, that kind of, like, pushes me a bit, like, too, because, like, okay, I'm not just doing this for myself, too. Like, I know, like, this is not just a learning experience for me, or, like, I'm not going to be the only one kind of, like, who's, like, getting success from this or benefiting from this. Like, my family's also going to benefit from this, too. Yeah. I'm kind of, like, being first-gen, too. Like, you might be, like, the first in your family to, like, go to college and stuff. And it's kind of, like, opening doors and stuff, but, like, you could also be, like, the one that keeps that door open and, like, opens the opportunity for more people in your family to, like, realize that it's a possibility and also that you're there to support and you can use, like, knowledge and, like, all those things that you've learned, like, throughout the years and throughout your time in college that you can use to, like, support them, too. So that's, like, something that, like, also motivates me, too, a lot, honestly. Like, I feel like I've learned a lot, like, from freshman year. Like, with, like, resumes and interviews, like, I've learned so much. Like, I kind of look back at my resume from, like, freshman year, and it's, like, sometimes it's not just, like, feeling that you would have had the support. Or I guess sometimes you kind of think, like, it would have been so nice if you, like, you now could have given that advice to, like, you before. Because it would have skipped all of that, like, stress, like, those, like, stressful moments that you've kind of had to live through. But, I mean, it's all a learning experience in the end. And, like, you do learn, even, like, through all that hard work and stuff. But I feel like, like, sometimes I feel happy that I'm at least at a better position. That's not, like, it's not just good for me, but also for my family. And so, like, being able to, like, give that advice is something that I'm really, like, proud of and, like, looking forward to. Like, even my nephew has started to say that he, like, he's nine years old, but he has, like, started to say that he wants to be a mechanical engineer. Aw, that's so cute. Well, like, it's, like, because, like, in my family, there's no, like, no one's STEM, no engineer. Right. And so, like, I honestly, as a kid, I didn't even imagine being an engineer. That wasn't even, like, I didn't even know what that was. Honestly, I didn't even know what that was until a few years ago. I mean, I thought I was going to be a baker. I thought I was going to do whatever my dad or my mom did and was like, I'll call it a day there. Yeah. Yeah. I think it wasn't until senior year of my, like, high school that I was like, oh, engineer. So, and then I'm, like, here now. I mean, even getting into college, I feel like it was like, oh, I like math, and I like science, so you know what? I'm going to do engineering. Let me combine. Yeah. Yeah. But, yeah, I think being first generation isn't, like, the most easiest path. I feel like there's a lot, like, of more, sometimes it feels like mountains that are in your way. Yeah. And I feel like, for example, in First Crew, there's a lot of members that, you know, talk about, like, resume or their internships and, like, help with that stuff or, you know, like personal, like, you know, lacking a support system at home or feeling like they're carrying, like, the future of a lot of people in their hands. And it can be, like, something that creates your story, as a lot of them are, like, freshman, sophomore, junior, and, for example, like, a senior. And so are there any, like, defining moments you would want to share as a part of your story from, like, childhood to now? My childhood was definitely a bit difficult. Like, yes, both my parents are immigrants, and so I was born in New York, so that's kind of where I lived for, like, two years. And then there was, like, a lot of, like, issues with, like, my family and stuff. And, like, so, like, with, like, my mom trying to, like, give me, like, a better opportunity because me and my sister were both young, kind of, like, coming to New Jersey and, I don't know, really trying to improve our life but, like, also dealing with a lot of issues in our family and going through, like, all those difficult times. And so, like, as a kid, I would kind of rarely really see my mom because she would be, like, working, like, trying to sustain our family. Like, without a degree, too, it's, like, really hard and you don't really have, like, a high-paying job. And so it's really difficult, so working those long hours. So growing up, it was really just kind of me and my older sister. And, yeah, so those moments are definitely tough, but, like, I feel like kind of looking back and, like, seeing how my mom was, like, resilient and had to make those sacrifices but would still, like, work hard and was, like, so dedicated to provide us with a better life and, like, give us that opportunity to, like, have that education and also, like, that opportunity to eventually go to college that she didn't have. And so I think seeing that, like, kind of inspired me a lot, like, even now, like, even growing up to kind of just, like, strive to do a lot more, like, pushing myself to do a lot more. And, yeah, like, there's a lot of challenges, but, like, I think it's really about being, like, resilient and not letting, like, those challenges or those obstacles define you and, like, prevent you from doing what you want and what you believe in. Right. And so kind of that's kind of, like, the drive that's pushed me, like, even in, like, middle school to high school, like, trying to do good in school, like, trying to get those good grades. Even though it's, like, hard, especially when you don't have that, like, support because it's, like, oh, if I have a problem with, like, with my math homework, it's, like, I can't really ask my mom. Like, who do I go to? Yeah, who do I go to? Like, and there's also sometimes, I feel like, as a first gen, you're also, like, a bit more, like, nervous to ask for support. Right. Even from teachers, too. Like, I feel like, like, they're there to help, but it's definitely hard as a kid to, like, be, like, okay, I don't want to, like, seem, like, I'm, like... Like, more help, I guess. Yeah. Like, I don't want to, like, like, I don't know. Sometimes it feels like you don't want to, like, beg for that help, but, like, you need it, and you have to be, like, willing to, like, ask for that help. Yeah. So that's definitely a struggle. But, like, even then, what, like, helped me a lot, like, I mentioned, like, New Jersey Seeds, like, getting into college, that helped me a lot. Like, they helped me with, like, taking the ACT, like, doing research on colleges, and, like, also trying to apply to, like, their flying programs. Like, I got into the diversity flying program to CASE, so I got, actually, was able to come here before COVID hit. Yeah. So I actually came to campus, and I was able to, like, tour it. Like, this was the only university I actually visited. Me too. So, like, I was able to, like, visit the place, and then, like, once you get, like, the decisions, like, that program also helped me kind of weigh, like, the financial aid packages because, like, it's definitely difficult because you don't want to, like, have that, like, burden, like, that financial burden on, like, your family that you're going to, like, an expensive university. That's true. But, you know, like, CASE gave me, like, a good financial package, and although it was, like, far away from, like, home because I feel like they kind of envisioned me, like, staying in New Jersey. Right. Like, there's a good university there, but it was, like, a bit more difficult to get, like, a good financial package there. So, like, eventually I came here. But, like, from, like, that program helped a lot kind of with that. I think without that, I would have been, like, so lost with the whole college application process because even in high school, like, they really don't, like, like, there's really not that many resources that they give. That's true. Explaining, like, oh, I feel like it's gotten better now, but, like, there's not really that much resources explaining how the FAFSA works. Oh. Or, like, the, I guess, I think the first year at CASE, like, asked for the CSS profile, too. Yeah. Yeah, that, like. And you had to do both? Yeah. Like, there's not really, like, resource, like, or at least for me, there weren't really, like, that many resources that would, like, teach you, like, how to do it. Exactly. And then also doing those college applications and, like, also doing those tests that a lot, that some universities, like, ask for, like, the SAT or the ACT. So that program helped a lot kind of bridging that gap. I mean, even coming to CASE, getting internships and stuff, like, that's also, like, very difficult. Yeah. Because you have to, like, you don't really, like, learn beforehand that the resume is so important, like, being good at interviews, networking. Elevator pitch. Elevator pitch. FAFSA, cover letter. Like, those are words that you don't really hear until you're in college. Yeah. And then you have, like, no idea of how to do it. And so it's really, like, you kind of have to figure that out. But SHIP helped a lot. Like, I mean, that's kind of the whole point. So they helped a lot with, like, kind of resume stuff and, like, elevator pitches and, like, prepping for interviews, too. I mean, it also kind of makes you feel more comfortable, too, because it's, like, other Hispanics. That's really true. Yeah, because I feel like sometimes when you're, like, especially going to, like, classes, sometimes it's intimidating, like, when you see, like, the people around you. Sometimes you're the only one in, like, in the class that's Hispanic. Yeah, it's, like, also, like, CASE is, like, not that diverse. PWI. Yeah. So it's a bit hard to, like, even, like, feel comfortable with, like, knowing that you lack those opportunities and reaching out for help. Yeah. Like, I think also, like, having to ask for help in those kind of things because, like, you know, you're surrounded by people whose parents either work at the school, Cleveland Clinic across, like, the street or, you know, have these big careers and, like, having conversations of what I've been struggling with, like, filling out FAFSA wrong for the third time in a row this year. Like, I can't really just, like, tell certain people that because then it's, like, oh, like, it's literally so easy. Sometimes dreading, like, having to call my parents on, like, filling it out because I know it's, like, it, like, brings back stuff. And then also just, like, hard for them as well to hear, like, oh, the tuition went up again. Yeah. And then, like, you know, how are you doing it there when you, like, work this many jobs or this. And, like, it definitely wasn't something that I envisioned when I was a kid, you know, growing up. And, like, you know, I didn't think I would get a label of being called first generation at all until probably, like, applying for college. And it was, like, in big bold letters on the applications. And I was, like, oh. And in, like, retrospect for things like that, like, what is some advice that you would give, like, your childhood self with everything that you know? I mean, I feel like a big thing, which might be a bit general, but I would kind of just say, like, like, don't overstress too much. Like, things are going to get better. But because I feel like as a kid, like, coming to now, too, I mean, even, like, some moments now and even earlier today, sometimes, like, you feel, like, overwhelmed with everything. And sometimes it feels like it will be difficult that things are going to go your way. Right. But kind of, like, feeling or, like, knowing that, okay, things are going to get better, like, don't be so, like, overstressed by it. But also, like, don't be scared about asking for help because I think that's something that prevented me a lot when I was, like, a kid and, like, also earlier on in college, like, getting, like, the necessary support. Like, don't be scared asking for help. Like, a lot of, like, people are, like, willing to, like, help. Like, it might be difficult for them, like, to, like, see when they're free. But there's definitely a lot of people who are, like, willing to, like, help and give advice. Like, so don't be, like, scared. And also, you're not the only one going through this. There's definitely other people that are going through this. So don't feel, like, discouraged or don't feel like you're alone in all of this. So, like, things are going to get better. So don't, like, let it kind of take over you. I feel like kind of, like, dealing with, like, the stress and, like, feeling, like, those overwhelming moments, too. I know, like, mental health was something that, like, I had a challenge, like, a lot. Yeah. And so, like, knowing, like, also giving advice, like, it's okay to, like, ask for help or, like, to speak with people. Like, it's okay to, like, have these emotions where you feel over-stressed or overwhelmed. You shouldn't feel guilty. Like, I feel like as a first-gen, sometimes you feel that guilt. Yeah. Oh, like, like, I'm here. This is, like, a unique opportunity that my family didn't have, so I should make the most out of it. I shouldn't be over-stressed by all this stuff. I should be doing good in this. But, you know, sometimes you have those bad days and you have to be okay with that and you have to really be, like, able to deal with that and not feel, like, so bad and so guilty. Like, it's okay to have those bad days. It's okay to feel that stress. It's just about, like, how you bounce back and how you deal with that. And I feel like we don't really, like, learn how to do that. And, like, especially, like, I didn't really, like, start working too much on my mental health until recently. Right. And it's, like, really difficult, especially when you feel like you're going through this process alone. That's true. And, like, dealing with all these new things, like, in college, with, like, everything we've talked about, like, the FAFSA, like, internships, like, resumes. Like, you want to make sure you get these experiences. But it's not easy. It's hard. Yeah. But, like, getting that support and, like, knowing that you, like, you'll work through it. You'll do it. But don't let it, like, overtake you. Like, don't let it overstress you. I think, at least in, like, Hispanic culture in general, mental health is definitely something that's, like, has a giant stigma around. And then, you know, when you can't really just be like, oh, mom, like, I'm so, like, depressed or I'm so stressed out. And it's, like, you know. Because then, like, sometimes even, like, I can't say that because I feel like I have nothing really to be stressed about when, like, I think about their life. And I'm just, like, like, sometimes, like, I think just being Hispanic and first-gen, it comes with, like, a lot of never asking for help because, you know, my parents never did when they were going through everything. And then, you know, you couldn't really ask them for help when it came to, like, professional career, whatever. And so when you would fall behind in class or anything, like, you felt it tenfold because of the fact that, like, it was never easy to ask for help. So I think that's probably, like, the biggest thing that, like, a lot of first-generation students deal with is that it's okay to do that because their entire life they never did, you know, because they always did everything by themselves. And then, you know, and, like, utilizing resources and taking care of themselves because it's, like, you know. Self-care is important. Yeah. Especially here at Crewe, it's, like, you're doing 100 different things. You're working all these jobs. You're doing your classes. And then on top of that, like, you can't do any of that if there's no you. So, you know, I think prioritizing mental health is definitely what I think everybody should do. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's also, like, something that I've, like, tried to be a bigger advocate for because I think, I mean, definitely, like, in Hispanic culture, too, and, like, being first-gen, too, like, there's kind of that stigma against, like, talking about it or, like, sometimes you feel like you don't want to, like, you feel like that's, like, a problem that you're having and you don't want to give it to other people. Yeah, like a burden. Yeah. You don't want to talk about it and you don't want to, like, also you don't want to feel, like, a downer. That's true. You don't want to, like, talk to people and just, like, talk about your issues and problems. But I think, like, knowing that you should be, like, it's okay. It's a normal thing. Like, a lot of people go through it. And, I mean, I did see, like, a statistic that's, like, one in five, like, Americans have dealt with, like, a mental illness. And so, yeah, so it's, like, a common thing. But there's still, like, that stigma around it. I mean, like, there's more support now for it than before. But it's still very limited and there's still that stigma about it. Like, I think there's a lot of expectations sometimes that society puts or that you put on yourself sometimes saying, like, you know, this should be easy. Like, I shouldn't be overstressing about this. Or, like, even think about your family, too. Like, sometimes when I've, like, had these issues, like, I've thought back, like, my mom definitely didn't have it easy. She's had to sacrifice all this. Like, how do my issues compare to that? Yeah. But I think getting out of that head space and not comparing yourself to others. That's true. Like, these are your issues. Like, these are, like, problems that you're having, and it's okay. Like, don't feel bad about it. And so, like, not feeling discouraged, like, reach out for help. And, like, I mean, something that has helped at CASE has been, like, the counseling resources that they have. Because I didn't really, like, I don't know why. Like, I feel like I always had, like, a thought in my head where it was, like, oh, I don't need to talk about my feelings. I don't need to talk about how I'm doing. But it becomes overwhelming when you're, like, especially dealing with school and, like, all these classes and, like, all this stuff you're talking about, like, doing jobs and, like. And, like, personal stuff. It's, like. Yeah, it's a lot. And if you don't deal with that, it kind of, like, builds up. And sometimes, like, it overtakes people, you know. There's a lot of issues in the world, too. Like, some people, like, fall into, like, other things because of that. Yeah. Knowing that it's okay to reach out for help. And, like, so I, like, sophomore year, like, the spring semester, I, like, started therapy. And that helped a lot. Nice. Because you're able to, like, once you're, like, able to, like. I mean, the first few sessions are, like, difficult. That's true. Because you also still have that, like, feeling where you're, like, oh, I don't want to talk about the things that are, like, going wrong. Yeah. And you're also, like, I don't know this person. That's true. But, like, once you're able to, like, talk about it, like, you're, like. It feels a lot better. Like, even if you talk to a friend, too, like, I feel like when you have those, like, issues and, like, problems or, like, you're overstressing and you kind of just get stuck in your own head. Yeah. It's, like, hard to get out of that. But once you're able to, like, talk to somebody about it, it helps a lot more. And then you also get, like, somebody else's perspective, too, on, like, how to deal with that and, like, advice, too. And so, you know, being able to, like, talk about, like, any mental health issues you're having, maybe feeling a bit sad or a bit, like, overstressed. Like, knowing that that's okay is something that's, like, really important for anybody. Like, not just first-gen, but really any person. That's true. One thing is, like, a lot of people wait until it's as worse as it gets. And it's, like, you know, a lot of people, like, lose themselves in, like, kind of the process of just trying to cope with so many things at once. And I think, like, it was definitely something that I had, like, so many issues with my first year was just, like, you know, growing accustomed to a new school. You know, the Hispanic population was nowhere near compared to where I grew up. And, like, that was a very big, like, culture shock for me. Not seeing my family, feeling guilty for leaving my family, and then, like, just classes and personal stuff. And it's, like, you know, there are people that are there for you. And it's just, like, I think you never want to wait until it's, like, too late. Or if you notice someone, you never want people to feel like how you feel. Yeah. I think, like, as time goes on and, like, now you're going to graduate and then, you know, next year is just around the corner. And it's, like, it leaves a lot of perspective for, like, people that you talk to now of just, like, it's okay. Like, you'll be fine. Like, my brother, for example, is stressing about his resume and just do I have enough, like, extracurriculars. Are my grades high enough? Did I not do enough the past, like, three years? And it's, like, you're going to go to college. You will be fine. And it's, like, I think even after you graduate, like, there's a lot of plans up ahead. And, like, you mentioned, like, you do therapy and, you know, you're graduating soon. So do you have plans to continue that? Or, like, what are some career plans that you have? Oh, I mean, I've kind of, since last semester, I kind of, like, stopped about therapy. But I guess that was kind of mostly because of winter break. Yeah, that's true. And so, like, coming back. But I don't know. I feel like coming back, like, especially, like, with graduation coming around the corner and kind of having, even with my job too, like, making, like, sure, like, arranging everything, making sure you have a place to stay, and, like, arranging, like, how life is going to be after college. Yeah. It's a lot. And then also, like, you still have classes. Yeah, that's true. And, like, also, like, working too, like, having a job. And so, like, managing all that does become stressful. So, I mean, I'm definitely going to go back. Yeah. I don't know. But, like, I mean, it's okay. Like, it's okay going back. If you need help, then get it. Like, you shouldn't feel bad. Yeah. So, like, I at least feel better now talking about it, like, knowing that, okay, maybe I'm, like, not at the best state right now, but I know if I, like, put in the work and if I reach out for help and support, I'll be in a better place. Yeah. And so being okay with that is, like, a big thing. And so, I mean, that's definitely something that I'm going to try to get back into. But also, I mean, something I learned a lot that's good is, like, having a routine, like, maybe some things when you wake up, like brushing your teeth. Yeah, that's true. Or, like, making your bed or eating breakfast, drinking water. It's important. And then also, like, it's before you sleep, too, like, stuff in the evening. Like, I don't know, take a shower, brush your teeth. Yeah. Read. Read, yeah. But, yeah, like, having a routine, too. Like, I feel like sometimes with classes, too, like, you kind of maybe forget to eat or forget to drink water. You just get stuck looking at the screen, like, studying for classes and time just goes by so quickly. Your first meal is at 8 p.m. Yeah, like, you forget. Like, self-care is important. Sometimes you forget about that. Like, sure, the class is important, but how are you going to do the class if you're not good? Like, you need to make sure you're, like, well, you can handle that. Yeah. So that's, like, I mean, like, for college, like, stuff, like, that's something I've learned, like, throughout, like, my past few years here. Definitely, like, freshman year, me, not on that. No, not the same. Definitely did not do enough self-care. But, like, now, like, learning all that, that's important. That's definitely something I'm going to continue even after graduating, too, because I know, like, having a job, too, that's, like, that's going to be a big transition. Yeah, that's true. Like, you get used to, like, having classes, like, and you're also kind of surrounded. Late night. Yeah, late night. You're surrounded with, like, friends and, like, people. Like, you build relationships with people over the course of these four years. But now it's, like, you're leaving. You're leaving. Yeah. Maybe some people, like, stay close, but it's still, like, a big, like, transition. And you might be on your own or you might be in an unfamiliar place. Yeah, so early, yeah. And also, like, it's definitely a big transition going from, like, high school and then to an out-of-state college because you're, like, far from family. But then going to, like, real world, like, having a job. Like, now it's also, like, even if you, like, in college you were, you're not on the meal plan or whatever, but now you're going to be, like, on your own. You've got to make sure you go do groceries, you get food. Yeah. It's important. Bills. Yeah, all the bills. Existing. Like, feeling financially responsible. Bills. It's, like, it's, I mean, it's definitely a bit, like, overwhelming thinking about, like, how close that is. But I do feel, like, it's kind of better. Like, from the experiences I've had, like, during my internships, I have found it to be better than, like, being once you're, like, in college. Because I feel like when you're in college, like, your whole day is kind of always on your schoolwork or your job or whatever. And you don't really have time for yourself. Yeah. But, like, what I've learned from my internships is, like, you're working. And then once you're done for that day, you don't have to worry about that after. That's true. And you're just, you're free. And, like, it's, I mean, like, definitely my first internship was a bit hard to, like, realize that. Because then I was, like, my first time having that internship was, like, oh, I have all this free time. I don't have homework. What do I do? Like, you have all this time for yourself. And so, like, yeah, so, like, that's definitely going to be a big adjustment, too. But I'm kind of looking forward to that. And, like, not having to, like, overstress the whole day or the whole week for, like, an upcoming test or an upcoming, like, quiz or presentation. Because now it's just, yeah, you go to work getting your money, get your money up. And then you're, like, then you leave work. Then you have the rest of the day to do whatever you want. That's true. You can, like, I don't know, play games or, like, go, like, make friends. Yeah. It definitely opens the door for a lot more things. And so, that's, I mean, I'm definitely, like, a bit excited and a bit nervous. Yeah. About my life after graduation. But, I mean, I'm looking forward to it. Nice. Yeah. Like, is it something that you're going to, do you think you're going to get emotional about? Or just, like, I'm finally done with KACE? Or? Oh, my God. I haven't even thought that much about it. But, I mean, I think now, definitely, this semester, I'm starting to, like, think about, like, wow, this is my last semester here. Like, this is definitely, it's, like, a big moment, too. Like, you've had all these, like, I've talked about it before. Like, you had these relationships with a bunch of people and you might not see them again. And you might be, like, you're going to, you might go to a new place after this. But, like, I mean, being at KACE, like, being at university, it's a big part of your life. Because it's, like, four years have passed by. Or maybe more. I don't know. Some people might say for more. But, like, that's a lot of time that I've spent here. Mm-hmm. And that, like, yeah. And so, like, knowing that, oh, like, I feel like freshman year, sophomore year, junior year, even last semester, I don't, you don't really think, like, oh, what am I going to do when I, like, once I'm crossing, like, that stage, like, getting that diploma. But, like, now that it's my last semester, it's, like, wow. Like, this chapter of my life really is about to end. And so, it's a bit, I mean, I think I'll probably get maybe a bit emotional. Because, like, I feel like you kind of look, being, like, more, like, reflective and kind of, like, looking back on how you started this journey, like, freshman year. Like, I mean, especially with me, like, looking back, I feel like I've changed so much over the course of these past few years, like, from freshman year me. I've learned so much. Like, I've definitely had a bunch of highs and a bunch of lows. But I feel like I've grown so much as a person. I've learned so much that, I mean, I'm also, like, like, it's not just, like, I know it's not just for me, too. Like, I feel like I've learned so much that I can help my family, too, like, once this comes to them, too. I feel like I could also be, like, that support system that I didn't really have. And so, like, being that knowledge, like, whether it has to do with professional development or, like, mental health or, like, education, like, with classes and stuff. I think there's, like, part of me, like, once I do graduate, part of me is, like, sad that, like, this part of my life is going to end. Like, or, like, this, like, chapter is ending. Like, I'm really about, like, these past four years, like, there's been so much that's happened, but I'm going to be done with it. And so, but there's also part of me that's, like, a bit more, like, happy and relieved. Like, there's also, like, that relief part because, you know, like, oh, I don't have to, like, I finally have done. I don't have to worry about classes. I don't have to worry about, like, a test or, like, a final. I don't have to worry about that. So, there's, like, that part where you're going to feel, like, relieved about all of it. And then also, like, I'm definitely going to be, like, happy, like, knowing that, like, I was able to complete this. And it's not just for me. It's also for my family, too. Like, I've been able to, like, I've overcome all of these, like, struggles, these obstacles. Not just as a first-gen, but also, like, Hispanic or, like, also being, like, in STEM. Like, there's a bunch of these struggles. And, like, knowing that I was able to overcome that and, like, now when I'm in that moment going to finally get my diploma, I think I'm going to feel, like, really happy and, like, relieved. Because, like, all of this has been leading up to that moment. Like, I feel like I don't really think about it until now. But, yeah, like, I feel like sometimes, like, even a freshman, you're thinking about a class. You're like, oh, I need to get this A. I need to get this B or whatever. But in the end, you just have to pass. And once you're graduating, once you get the diploma, it doesn't matter. No one's going to know. B's, B's, A's, no one cares. It doesn't matter. You just have the diploma. Nobody's going to be looking at that diploma and thinking, oh, they probably got all A's. They probably, like, didn't, like, nobody cares. Like, there's a B there. You're getting it. And, like, you're finally done with college. It's, like, I don't know. It's definitely going to be a hard moment. But I think, like, I'm looking forward to it. And, like, knowing that, like, yeah, like, that everything's led up to that moment and that I've been able to, like, grow so much from, like, these experiences that I've had. I think I'm going to feel, like, really happy and relieved. Well, it sounds like something that I can't wait to have in two years. Free from K's, but also just, I think, for me, it's, like, I envision, like, my diploma as my parents a lot, you know, where it's, like, you know, my cap and gown. Like, everything I do is for them, kind of. So, like, who's keeping, like, if I were to move into a new house, apartment, whatever, like, I know I'm not keeping that diploma. My mom's going to keep it. But, yeah, I think it's so close, and you're almost free. Yeah. I mean, like, with the family, too, like, I mean, something that I've done, like, my legal name has both of my last names, so not just my dad's but also my mom's. Like, my last name, what can I say? I'll just say it. My last name is Iwikota Lema. I'll give it the accent. Oh, no, the second part of my last name, Lema, like, I didn't have it when I came to the case. Right. But it's my legal name. But I think, like, something that I did last semester, I don't know if it was last semester or last year. Actually, no, it was last semester. I, like, went to the, I think it was to Yoast before they closed. Like, I went. I gave them my ID, and I was like, can you fix my last name? Put both of it on it because I want, like, when I get my diploma, I want it to have both names. Yeah. Because I want to, like, know that, like, I want to make sure it has my mom's last name because it's not just for me. Like, I also envision it's also for, like, my mom and for all of the struggles that she's had to go through, like, coming to this country and then trying to, like, raise me and my sister and then my brother, too. And, like, all those, like, long nights when she's had to work and, like, really help, like, ensure that me and, like, my family, like, has a good future. Like, all of this, like, everything that I'm doing in college, like, when I get the diploma, all of that, it's not, like, a single journey. Like, it's not, it wasn't just up to one person. I feel like in my life I can attribute, like, that diploma and, like, my success to so many people who have supported me throughout this whole, like, process. Like, not just my family but a bunch of friends that I've had and then also, like, a bunch of support systems that I've created. And so when I get that diploma, it's, like, it's not just for me. It's for everyone. Like, we made it. We made it. I didn't make it. We did. All of us did. Yeah, all of us made it happen.