~~ALBERT-SANTOS~~COMPLETE~~

JCR, Journey to Recovery, Podcast Radio is a weekly source for conversations on mental health and addiction. The hosts discuss the challenges and triumphs of navigating these issues and provide resources for those on their journey. They interview guests who share their personal experiences and coping strategies. One guest, Albert, talks about his struggles with addiction and homelessness, but how finding faith and support from others helped him find himself and make positive changes. The hosts also share their own experiences and emphasize the importance of self-reflection and seeking help. We want to welcome you all to JCR, Journey to Recovery, Podcast Radio, your weekly source for candid conversations on mental health and addiction. In today's episode on May 24th, 2024, episode 99, we're diving headfirst into the intersection of mental health and addiction, unpacking the challenges, triumphs, and resources available to those navigating these complex trends. We're here to shed the light on these vital topics and provide a beacon of hope for anyone on their journey and empowerment in the face of adversity. I'm your host, Tragic Vision, alongside me is my trusty co-pilot, M. Joger G, and you're tuning in to JCR, Journey to Recovery, Podcast Radio. Thank you for that beautiful intro, co-pilot here, M. Joger G. What's going on, brother? What's going on, brother? How you doing? Man, I can't blame you. It's a beautiful day outside, and I can feel that winter getting out of me, you know? I want to go outside and start hanging out and stuff. Get rid of that feeling of depression, you know? Yeah, no, it can be a killer. You know? So, together, myself, I go by the name of Tragic Visions. We are average people trying to help others. We, ourselves, are an instructor program that provides group therapy and that helps us with our day-to-day. And today, I'm here with someone from the program. Let's introduce our guest today. My name is Albert. I want to thank God for this privilege to be around not only peers and friends, but people that are like family to me. I've been through some stuff. I just want to say that even going through some stuff, God has always been there. And find yourself going through things. The best thing you can do is just acknowledge that thing that I'm just saying. Find yourself, you know? I've run along the way that I could be blessed and I could have what's necessary, but never find myself. Me being blessed and God still caring for me makes you realize that I could find myself for another day when I wake up. And when I go to sleep, I know I could rest because I just lacked another day. So we're going to talk a little bit about how you manage to cope with your mental illnesses and give the people a little feedback because everyone copes differently, you know what I'm saying? But somebody out there can try what you've done and see if it helps, you know what I'm saying? Well, I got incarcerated when I was 15 years old. By the time I was 15, I dropped out of school. Supporters fought to try to make excuses. I hit the streets. I have a lot of family members that were connected, so it made it easier for me to be around the block and not worry about nothing. But there was one time when I was rock bottom and no family wanted to help me out. My friends was in there and I just found myself closed up. I became homeless for a while. And after that, after I beat 10 years of records, I didn't. Can you explain a few ways how you were able to find yourself? Man, I did seven years, seven years in Puerto Rico, Hudson, in the street. And I had a friend of mine that got off the spot and started going to church. I grew up with him in school when I was, I think it was four, eight years old, you know? And he reached me one day. He said, yo, how are you still doing this crap, man? I said, nigga, it's easier for you because you from here, nigga. I ain't got no job. I ain't got nothing. He said, man, stop putting excuses, man. Let's go to church. Because I loved him so much, I started visiting church. And after that, I wouldn't even hit the weekends. I just use what I got to use or just get off the spot and give my clientele. And I'll come back later. But I made it a habit. Like, out of a month, I would take at least two Saturdays or two Sundays to go to church. Fast with them, pray with them, find myself. And then, you know what I'm saying, I just kept coming from Puerto Rico to New York. My family wanted to help me, but people, places, and things. I kept running away from God, man. But slowly, I was finding myself, and I would be like, yo, I'm better off doing the right thing than just standing on the block, just getting high, man. Like, you got enemies around you, even the closest people around you, that you never know might just flip out, whether you blood or not. So, I needed a friend, you know what I'm saying, and that friend might be Jesus, man. You might need a friend, and that friend may be Jesus. Or it might be a family member. Or it might be a close friend. You never know. But just, I'm not telling you that I've been through a lot or that I conquered this or that I did this or that. I'm just trying to tell you, man, opportunities come and opportunities go. But when you try, man, and give it the best shot, you're never alone. And even if you don't do it, keep trying, man. Keep trying. Because, man, there's a song from Donnie McClurkin that says, a saint, a saint is only a person that fell down and got back up. So, it doesn't mean that, you know what I'm saying, you can conquer everything in life. You know what I'm saying? I'm 47 years old, and it's still kicking me in my ass. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? But I stay stuck, because even when I want to run away, He's there, man. He's there. He brings people around me that I know I could just sit here and talk and go back home like, Yo, it paid off, man. It paid off. It made it easier. That was the coping skills I had because of the rehabs and the psych wars. Rehabs in Puerto Rico are perfectly religious. They don't play around with you staying there and going to church and not getting you a job or finding another way to get you a little crib, and they do it. But it's hard, man. It's hard because you don't know nothing about God, and everybody's just telling you you've got to pray, you've got to read the Bible. But I found myself that when I was on the block, first of all, I was running away from people to kill me because there's always some people that like stealing drugs, and over there, they don't pay that shit. I find myself every day I wake up noticing that I can't worry about the day of tomorrow. I've got to worry about the day of today. I have to automatically because if I don't, then I'm putting excuses. When I know how to do the right thing, I'll try and just give it all up like making excuses because things are too hard. That's why I said that I'm not cannon-coated like things ain't going to get hard. When you keep running away from God and running away from yourself like I used to do, it brings consequences. It brings consequences, and that's when the problem starts because when it brings consequences, you've got to realize that the Bible says that when you're like a kid, you think like a kid. You understand? But when you're an adult, then that's when you've got to realize that you've got to act like an adult in certain times. It ain't going to be like some days you desire to be a kid again and do things differently, but that's part about being an adult when you realize that it's time to change or when you realize that it's time to receive good advice or when you realize that it's time to change because you keep hitting on the same rock every day and you get tired, and then you can't put excuses because the excuses are right there telling you just try it, man. You know what I'm saying? It takes rock bottom for some people. It takes years in a psych ward for some people. It takes even death or life in jail, you know what I'm saying? And all that time that I did out in society, you know what I'm saying, half of the time I was in church anyway because out of the seven years that I was hustling in the street, by the two years and a half, I was already going to church and going to rehab. I would go around the block just to mellow out for a while, get out of home, get discharged, and then when I found myself using again, I'd go back to church and find myself again. I'm not candy-coining it like peer pressure ain't bad, like you ain't going to go through something. I relaxed a whole bunch of times, you know what I'm saying, but that finding myself made me feel comfortable, like I tried to hit on the same rock until I said, you know what, man, this church thing is always paying off. I end up writing the same predicament in this place. God's helping me out. But up to what time God's going to keep helping me when I know I just got to put the things on the table and that's it, we all eat. I'm not saying it's going to be easy. I'm not saying it's going to be hard. I'm just trying to spread the love. Because we all got a right to be happy, man. Like I said, once you find yourself, you're done. Everything's sailing. You're sailing. You're not on that fucking, you're not on that rocky ship no more, you know what I'm saying. It's like find yourself, love yourself, be true to yourself, forgive yourself. I think, you know, you said that once you notice a change in yourself and you notice that change, you're doing something for yourself and about yourself. I know for me, it was one of the hardest things for me to recognize was the change within myself. At one point I had to, you know, I took videos in my room to see what I would do in my room because, you know, I come from a very, what do you call it, structured background in life. Room has to be a certain way, this has to be a certain way, that has to be a certain way. Well, for me, I would do that and then I would just, I'll be looking for something and then it'll just be put over here or put over there. Well, I reorganized my room. And in one week, I noticed that I'd reorganized my room three different times. And that was like, well, what's going on in there, you know? And, you know, the more I, you know, got help and came to programs and really getting with, you know, society, if you will, going to church, going to AA or NA meetings, group therapy. I started to look to find myself like, you know, you did. And so then, again, I took a video of myself throughout the entire day and I matched it for the whole week and I only reorganized it once. So, and I thought that was pretty good, you know, because, you know, I know in my background, you know, I went through in my entire life until I was age 36 undiagnosed. And I know that I kept doing that. This is the reason why I failed in all my relationships. I was engaged to get married and, you know, I fell apart. And it was tough, you know. Yeah, it's mental illness. It really takes over, you know. We were talking about this earlier, you know. Relationships, relationships, you know. Everything I had, I lost from my mental illness, you know what I'm saying? And like you said, 36. 36 is what I found, you know, myself, you know what I'm saying? And like, it's been three years now and it's been beautiful. You know, I don't deal with anxiety really anymore. I don't deal with my PTSD. Like Howard said, you live for the moment, you know what I'm saying? Stop living in your past. Stop living in your future. You know, you can't do that. You're mentally triggering yourself. Definitely when you're, I want for this in the future. Oh, man, my past, you know, like you got to get over it. You know, you can't change it. Yeah, know your triggers and kind of like face them, you know, because for me they're always going to be there. If I know I can tackle one trigger and do something to avoid it, but there's so many other ones, I start to realize that I'm doing it the wrong way, you know, because I want it my own way. Trigger can cause another trigger, you know what I'm saying? You know, everyone heals differently. You know, for example, I don't like loud noises. Right. You know what I'm saying? I hate loud noises. Unexpected loud noises. That's my worst one. You know, but I learned to deal with it, you know. You just got to deal with it. I'm going to wrap it up. I want to thank my guest here today. Thank you, brother. We're here, man. We can do this every day if you want. Absolutely. So I'll be here every day. We can do this every day, man. Send this stuff out. You never know who might need this. You know how many people call the Christian radio or call 911 because they're on a crisis and they want to kill themselves? Yeah. It's just a word, man. This is just one. And eventually, you know, later down the line, we're going to have a phone number for you guys to call, you know, when you need help. And we'll have it on our link and places you can go before you get to that point of suicide or overdosing on purpose just to get help. Because I know a lot of people out there, they're homeless, and they don't have no issue with addiction or their mental health isn't as bad as it is at the moment, you know what I'm saying? But they have no place to get help, you know what I'm saying? Because you've got to either be going through something to get help. And to me, I think that's something we should fix. I'm going to hear myself. We all right? Bang up.