RealiTea Bytes with Heather and Nicole Ep 2 - VPR

Welcome back to Reality Bites with Heather and Nicole. I'm Heather. I'm Nicole. And today we're going to talk about Vanderpump Rules, so let's get in it. So notes on a sandal, Ariana tries to rebuild her life after Tom's infidelity. What are your thoughts? So I think it's so idiotic that they still live together. There is no way in hell she couldn't afford to move out or just sell it. Just do whatever, like do whatever it takes. And she was so dead set on ensuring that she left with whatever money and all the furniture and all this kind of stuff, it's like, if you really hated the guy so much, you would just be like, whatever. I would have burned that fucking house. Yeah. I don't want nothing in here. Bye. You deal with it. This is your mortgage now. Toodaloo, motherfucker. Exactly. I don't think so. I think Lala was right. She tried to go in like Beyonce. Dictate shit. You can't talk to anybody. Otherwise I'm not your friend. And I think she thought she was going to be the star of the show, like she was of Dancing with the Stars. And I think that backfired on her. Yeah, I don't know what she was trying to do there. There was like some kind of controlling-ness with her not wanting to leave. Yeah. And then calling Tom like an almost dog murderer. Yeah, like, come on. Clean up after yourself. Yes. What the fuck? I want to say, I really think she is a messy little hamster. I'm probably sure of it. And Tom is like airing her dirty laundry. And let's not forget, this bitch ate out Lala. Like, do we not remember that season where she was very much said that she was bisexual? Uh-huh. So I think they brought girls in all the fucking time. And I think that she went with girls without Tom. And I just think that this was a little bit messier situation. Who knows if they didn't all three get together with Rachel. I highly doubt it. Because Tom Sandoval would for sure have brought that information out to make it less damaging for him. Probably. I was thinking that, though. I was like, yeah, wouldn't that be some shit? Like, he's like, well, you liked it when we were all three together. No, I think 100% he would have already said it. There's absolutely no way in hell that had happened. I actually don't think that they had threesomes and that they brought in things. No fucking way. Absolutely they have. He was driving the car when she went down on Lala in the backseat. Yeah, but he wasn't involved. Oh, well, that's a threesome. He was the driver. He was there. He witnessed it. He was probably whacking his little thing off. Have you had a threesome? Because that's not how they work. You can't, first of all, know. Second of all, I know how a threesome works. I've seen porn. Well, normally all three are involved. Not one person driving the car. But that's still him knowing as a partner. I know what I mean. Yeah, but I do think that they probably slept in separate bedrooms prior. I think for the last couple of years of their relationship. Prior to Rachel. Yeah, I think they were like roommates. I think that she probably assumed he was doing things with other people. Maybe she was too, but they just didn't want to embarrass each other. And they probably made that very clear to each other. Don't do anything that will embarrass me kind of thing. Don't ask, don't tell. And because this hit too close to home. Because it was a mutual friend. Yeah, I'm not saying it's not fucked up. That was definitely her friend, sister. I get it. But like Lala said, you're not the queen. You're not Beyonce. You can't dictate friendship. But I definitely think that whole relationship was broken years prior. Yeah, absolutely. It just came out shitty. Okay, so what are we thinking of Tom Schwartz and Joseph? Well, I think that he absolutely gaslighted her. I felt so bad for her on some of the things. Because it would show clips of him saying how he loves her. And he wants to hang out every day with her. But then the same breath, say, but I don't want to be in a relationship. And so she kind of knowingly went into that information. He was very honest with that information. I have so many thoughts on it. Because it's like, I really don't like Joseph. At first I was like, oh, I feel bad for her. This is a great couple. They could really do this. I feel like they're very complimentary of each other. Almost like the same person. Yeah, they're both dude-ish. Yeah. Right? However, to know that this was, or she was, kind of in the friend group. I know you said you begged to differ. And it was like very minimal. I still feel like that is a slap in the face to know someone's marriage. When it ends, you go and run to that couch. And cowardice on Tom Shore's part, too. And I love him. Yeah. I love him. But I think he plays the victim very well. Oh, for sure. And cleans his hands where it's like, no, I'm just a good guy. I'm just here to have fun. Yeah. And he did that to Joseph, too. But I definitely, all her little crocodile tears. I'm like, oh my god, you're such a bully, Katie. Like, no, let's not forget that her marriage was ruined. Not to say Katie's not a bitch. She is a bitch. But she's always been a bitch. Nothing new. She's not bringing out a new personality. Same person all the seasons through. I just feel bad that, you know, I don't know. Well, yeah, like they even stated, you know, Joseph needed a place to stay. She could have went to anybody. And she said that literally she could have went to Kristen. Yeah. Well, fuck. Because they were two keys in a pod. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. And even Kristen. So if you watch the after shows on one of them, Kristen even said, I'm like 10 minutes away from her. She could have absolutely stayed with. I did see that one. And that's what I mean. Like, that's where I don't feel sorry for Joseph. It's like, she's seen her eye was on Tom Schwartz while he was still married and couldn't wait for that marriage to end. She'd be like, boop, right up in there. But onto newer news, he is with a 23-year-old hottie. Yeah. I've seen her. And I'm just like, oh, she's going to eat him alive. I know. I don't know if Grandpa can hang. Well, I don't know. I mean, yeah, if she's still in her partying ways. I was hoping that he was going to find someone that was older, like as old as him kind of thing or a little, you know, whatever that was ready to settle down, be with his dogs and his plants and chill out. I don't think it's her. I don't know much about her, so I don't know what, you know, what her personality is like or how they even met. I don't either. I tried to Google her yesterday. Sophia something. She didn't have many Instagram followers, but for some reason, I think she's a TikTok person. Not sure. But again, I almost had high hopes for him and Katie. Not to get back together, but I really wanted that one-night stand to happen. Oh, my God. No, I thought it was so funny that it wasn't even really a one-night stand because it was like, we'll get all the candy and watch TV. And I'm like, that actually sounds great. Right? Like if I was her, I'm like, absolutely, let's do this. Neither one of us are dating anybody. And then instead of her going off and talking shit to Joseph, like that could have validated everything. I was like, well, are you hurt feelings that I went back to sleep with him and eat candy and binge watch shit? Yeah. Because he is not fully committed. Yeah. Yeah. It would have been that easy. And I think that I would have been better, but good for Katie. She's sticking with her wits. And to be quite honest, it almost seems like she's done with men. Yeah. I am excited to see this lesbian phase from her. I think that it's totally her vibe right now. And, you know, I'm hoping we see just more women in the future. For sure. I think we will. And how funny that... I don't know. There's like some twisted, thick thing between her and Tom. It's almost like a sibling fight. As thick as that sounds. Yeah. It's like tit for tat. Yeah. I mean, I think that she just wants to prove that she's better than him. You know? She's like, oh, well, you know, who's kiss do you like better? You know, that kind of thing. So it's like, I think she just wants to win. Yeah. I think she's sad too, though. I mean, it's sad, but it's also kind of fun. It is fun. I mean, hey, they bring it. They don't need to retire to the valley just yet. No. Right? So Tom Schwartz needs to bring his new girlfriend on. Let's see the mix with Katie and her girl that she brings on, hopefully. So we can see that little mix up. I think that Tom Schwartz would be such a good father. Absolutely. That I really am hoping he does settle down and he ends up, you know, having babies, having kids. Because I would totally love to see that happen. And that could even stay on VPR. Because I just think he would be a really fun dad. And it would be fun to see. I don't think that needs to be on VPR. I mean, I don't know. We don't tune in for that. We tune in for some slut shit. That's true. That is true. Maybe they'll go on to the valley. But is it still too far-fetched to say I want Tom and Katie back together? Like, have your ho phase. Let's do it for another year or two. Have your ho phase, you know, explore around, and then come back together. Maybe you're better people, you're more understanding, you've grown a little bit. You get back together and have a kid. I think that would be a really cool story. But I just don't know. I think too much has happened between them for them to... But who knows? I mean, they could come back kind of like as a clear slate, you know, in a couple of years. But at that point, they're older. You know, they're... I mean, isn't Tom Schwartz already 40? No. Right? Like, a couple more years, we're going to start having kids at 45. I'm just going to say never say never. Yeah. To Katie and Tom Schwartz. Yeah, I like that. Never say never. But what we saw more of too was James and Allie. We did. In their house next to the airport. Yes. Oh my gosh. I love when Lisa Vanderpump walked in and she's like, ooh. Yeah. This is quite gorgeous, Dolly. This is the size of one of my bedrooms. This is awesome. My garage is bigger than this. Yeah. But this is just Dolly. And what is that above me? It's not even a private jet. That's my terrible impression of Lisa Vanderpump, who I absolutely love and adore. Well, your accent is way better than mine could ever be. Every time I try to do any accent, it somehow comes off as Jamaican. It's like, I don't know how it is. It's just, I'm very horrible at it. No, I need to hear it. There has to be some kind of Jamaican accent. Maybe later. During this point. No. At some point, I need to hear it. So, what are we thinking? James now is growing. He bought his first house. That's amazing. What a proud moment. What are we thinking of Allie and her little, what did you call her earlier? Oh, an astrological guru. Right? Like, I don't fortune tell her, but astrological guru sounds fantastic. Listen, I think that James loves Allie more than Allie loves James. Confirmed. Okay, not confirmed, but confirmed by me. Like, absolutely seeing that. I think, I told you earlier, he has like a mama complex. She looks just like his mom. To me. Yeah. I mean, and, you know, she's the one that actually got him to stop drinking. Like, he actually listens to her, but is that going to backfire? Because if you don't do it for yourself, then you resent somebody, and then you come back and you go ten times harder, which he already did. Remember, he started drinking again. He's like, wait. Yeah. I met you not drinking. You started drinking again. I don't like this you. You need to stop, or we're not together. Don't get me wrong. He gets a lot further along in life without drinking. He doesn't need drinking to be a fun person, but I think he's realized that now, because he's California sober. You know what I mean? Like, he still smokes weed, so it's like, you know, he can still have fun and all that kind of stuff, but I'm really happy for him. He has a residency here in Vegas now. Oh, I'm excited. And, yeah, he seems like he's doing really good with life. He has his doggy back. Little Graham, who's now hippie. Hippie. Yeah. And I just love that, the Tom Vanderwaal comment. Oh, yeah. I remember at our reunion, he was like, shut the fuck up, Tom. Don't you talk about my dog. I'll kill you. Yeah. I'm like, yeah, OK. And he was crying so much when that dog came down the stairs. I was like, oh, my God, I did not know James loved this dog so much. You know what I don't get? It's like, how the hell does Vanderpump Dogs get all these fucking expensive ass cute dogs? I don't see no ugly little mutts that you find off the street. You know what I mean? Oh, of course. Or this, like, $20,000 dog. It's like, look who's back. Oh, my Vanderpump Dogs. I'm like, how does this happen? I've never seen an ill-looking dog on there. This is a different kind of pound in Las Vegas, because you go to a Las Vegas pound. Oh, yeah. This is a bougie pound. Yeah, it's a bougie pound in Hollywood. Like, the dogs even look Hollywood. Dogs are more well-kept than me. Oh, I'm sure they're not in cages. They all have beds and everything. I mean, I don't know. But, yeah, they're all expensive dogs. Getting espresso martinis for breakfast and shit. Oh, hell, yeah. And their doggy bowls. Yeah. Here's your puppuccino. Good morning. Good morning, Bruce. I need to be one of them dogs. For real. I'm just saying. I know. So, what are we thinking of Lala this season? I love Lala. I always will love Lala. She is not only so real. I mean, she's obviously my crush. She is so fucking hot. She's always been my crush. Oh, my God. She thinks I'm crazy. I'm like, I would be a lesbian with her. Oh, my God. Beautiful. I'm like, I will be your baby daddy. I will absolutely be your baby daddy. You ready for two kids? I'll do it with her. That's for sure. I guarantee it. I guarantee it. I guarantee it. I guarantee it. I guarantee it. I'll do it with her. That's for sure. I guarantee it. She already has them. You have to take care of her two kids. I know. That's what I'm saying. She's over there trying to create. I did not know. I didn't say that. I was just, I would take in two more kids for her. No, she is beautiful. She is real. I think she needs to retire to the valley. I think she should bounce back and forth. I think she should be the crossover character. Yeah, I mean, she could. Jack is trying to be that. She still gives it like she needs to on VCR as well. That's true. She does. And she's gorgeous. But this, I don't know. She kind of straddled the fence this season. I feel like she went hard and then she's like, no, actually I'm going to backtrack and say why. I feel like she always regrets what she says sometimes. I don't think that she regrets it, but I think that she's right now working on self-growth so much that she's reevaluating a lot of the things that she said and trying to get down to the root of why she had outbursts before and things like that. And I think it's beautiful. And the fact that she is wanting to kind of give grace and forgive people and stuff to just, you know, when you hate someone, you're really hurting yourself. Like that other person really could care less. It doesn't affect them. I just think you're in love, but okay. I know. I'm like, Lala can do no wrong. I feel like this is biased right now. You don't want to talk no shit on Lala, which I agree. I love Lala. I just feel like she kind of went back and forth this season. I do love that her and Katie went back and forth and Katie held her own, but so did Lala. Yeah. And then I thought it was super weird. I don't know. I love her and Sheena's friendship, right? And because I completely agree that Ariana kind of dissed Sheena and doesn't like Sheena as much as Sheena likes Ariana kind of thing. Oh, yeah. So I love that Lala kind of took that partnership on. But at the same time, like, I think I would have been out when she was like, hey, I'm having these thoughts. Like, what if you and Brock? Oh, my God. I'd be like, all right, we're done. Like, I don't even need you thinking that. I don't need to be left in your house. And all of a sudden, you know, like, it would just give me the wrong vibe the whole time. Honestly, though, I kind of get it. I kind of get her fear. Like when, again, you see things like she even said that she would trust Raquel in her bed with Brock. That's weird. First of all, it's just all weird anyway. Before they even knew about what, you know, Raquel did. No, I know. But I feel like this whole group is always doing it with each other, always together. Like, we're going to have a sleepover, and you're going to sleep in the bed with me and my husband. Like, you need to grow up. You're 40. I mean, weird, for sure. But I don't know if they're actually sleeping together. But I mean, the fact that she thought so highly, and then it was kind of like crashed down because she was actually cheating. I can understand thinking, like, do I even know people? Like, do I even know you? I just don't understand at this age, like, are you not well? Like, first of all, I wouldn't trust anybody or anything around me. And you guys are in Hollywood, so you guys know better than anything that it's a dirty, low-down world in Hollywood. For sure. So at 40 years old, we shouldn't be having little sleepovers, married and having children. Yeah, I'm not going to trust any bitch in bed with my man. Ever. Ever. Nor do you trust your man. I'm sorry, but you can't trust your man 1,000% either, because everyone's their own person. You don't know what people do. Yeah. Like, just stay alert. Well, that's like saying, okay, like, there's this dark alleyway, and you know for sure that there's a person standing with a knife down there. You don't know if they're going to actually use it on you, but you decide to take the chance and go down there. That is like the same thing as being like, here, lay next to this hot girl, but don't touch her. Don't touch her. If she's super hot, I even think she's hot. Yeah. Like, come on. Absolutely not. You're making situations happen that shouldn't happen. I know, but I feel like Sheena kind of wants to be in a thrust. Not like that, where she's not touching the husband, but it's like, let's play house. Well, that's what it is with Lala. Hang out with me. Yeah. People will hang out with me back in the day before all that shit went down. Yeah. Then it was Lala, and then it was kind of Ariana, but Tom took that information. It's like, I think Sheena, I love Sheena Shay, and I've met her before. Super sweet, little, kind soul. Oh, really? I have. She came to one of our events, actually. I won't say the company or anything, but yeah. Oh. She did. Super nice. Tiny. Prior to Brock, so years ago. Yeah, okay. But I feel like, just live your own marriage. You and Brock, and your kid, and be happy, and that way you don't have to expect the worst coming into it. Just keep the lives separate. I know. I think it was honest that she talked about her fears, and I think that's fine, and because all the parties know what the fear is, they're able to work on it and not put themselves in those situations, right? But, I mean, I like Lala, Sheena, and Brock's little truffle situation. I think it's really cute because of the support that they give each other. You know, Sheena is delusional, and Lala tells her how it is so she can help Sheena, like you said, get out of the comment section, right? Yeah, I guess. I mean, I disagree, but I just don't think you need... I love the friendship, but if you're that insecure, then don't have her coming around like that so much, because the more support... I don't think that Sheena's getting the most of the support. I think it's Lala, right? Brock kind of stepping up for dad duties, and then being close to her so she's not alone, which I love. She shouldn't be. She went through a really hard time, but I feel like if you're that insecure... I don't know. I would just question my whole friendship. Sure. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Like, if you came to me and were like, hmm, I'm not comfortable with you around my boyfriend, then you don't trust me. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Like, there was something either said at bedside during pillow talk between you and your spouse that made you think, hmm. Yeah. You know what I mean? There's something being left unsaid there for that non-reality that could possibly be a reality to come out of her mouth. Yeah. Or does she just want a better storyline? I have to think that if anything like that happened, then it definitely would have been like pillow talk between Brock and Sheena. Like, maybe Brock said something. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah. It was like, oh. Because I don't think Lala would do that at all. No, I don't think so either. I think she's a girl's girl. For sure. And girl power. And like I said, I love her. But you never know. What did you think of the song? Is it gold? Is it apples? I'm just. Wow. It's catchy. I just think that music really is everything. I know she keeps trying. But it's just. I'm not going to listen. I don't know any of these songs. I've never heard them in their full glory because the clips that I heard, I was just not a fan. Yeah. Well, I mean, now she's going to go on tour and be in a band. Yeah. Okay. I don't know when. So is Tom Sandoval. So I also have never heard any of his songs. Oh, my God. Doesn't he do covers? Or does he have like his own songs? I don't know. I think it is a cover band. But he also implements his own like ad-lib lyrics that he'll do. You know. And he said he's a lyricist. Yeah. He said he's a lyricist. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 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