Defining Third Culture Kids

The number of introverts in America is growing post-COVID-19, and being alone is often seen in a negative light. However, third-culture kids, who grew up in multiple cultures or a culture different from their birth culture, often feel a loneliness inseparable from their personality. The definition of third-culture kids can vary, including those raised in different religious or ethnic communities. Normalizing their stories helps fight internalized isolation, and society gains a deeper appreciation for diverse cultures. Question. Who likes being alone? Answer. Surprisingly, a lot of people. The number of introverts in America is growing post-COVID-19, yet the idea of being alone is always painted in a negative light. The real question is, who likes feeling lonely? Answer. No one. It seems this modern-day media is subconsciously portraying how important connection is. Whether it be through the power of friendship or love, being lonely is quote-unquote the enemy, or at least a major issue. Now, imagine a group of people who are destined to always be lonely, to always have issues with truly connecting to others. A population that is very real today. This group of individuals are called third-culture kids, or those who spent their developmental years in multiple cultures, or a culture that is not their birth culture. This conglomeration of values that makes up culture is what a third culture is, one that is unique to the individual. As such, third-culture kids often feel a loneliness that is inseparable from their personality, because the experiences they have are not shared by many. The idea of being lonely is nothing new, but the idea of being a third-culture kid definitely is. As many identify as a third-culture kid, and many look into this cultural idea, many defining questions go unanswered. Who counts as a third-culture kid? What makes third-culture kids extra lonely? And so the question is what is a third-culture kid? A third-culture kid is someone who's grown up in a culture that is different from that of their parents. Most often we find this in missionary kids or kids of diplomats who've grown up across in a different country. However, the United States is a very, very diverse country already, and so this can happen even within one country. Who counts as a third-culture kid boils down to different definitions of culture. Many see culture as strictly ethnic or racial. However, there have been many arguments against this idea. For example, there's a distinct Dutch community, and as such, there's a deaf culture. This culture isn't tied to a skin color or a nationality, but rather an inclusive culture for deaf people around the world. Could hearing children not be considered third-culture kids? Being raised by deaf adults, but being able to hear both includes and excludes them from the hearing community. Are they not included in this community? Another example could be seen in religious LGBTQ youth. You could be raised in a religious community while also being part of the queer community. This feeling could cause you to feel alone and excluded from both groups for going against religious standards to not truly expressing yourself. Would these youth count? In my experience, I've only been raised in one culture, American. Yet, because I'm Chinese and not white-passing, there's still an expectation for me to know and understand all about Chinese culture. This disconnect has often made me feel like I am not truly American because of where I was born, yet I am not truly Chinese because I don't speak the language or understand the traditions. If we went by the textbook definition of third-culture kids, then I would not count, and these other communities would not count. So what are we to do? We've established that third-culture kids are real and often face unique challenges with belonging, and that third-culture kid is a broad term and should remain that way. But how do we help? How do we try and make these true connections? Part of belonging is accepting ourselves through our own faults and bias and shame and everything in between. I was raised in the United States. I am American. I celebrate what makes me different. The truth is there is no one solution, just as there is no one story. The first step is to normalize third-culture kids and their stories to understand and grow used to a changing world. Normalizing these stories helps us fight against the internalized relation that many third-culture kids face. We as a society also gain a deeper appreciation and understanding for diverse cultures and cultural expression.