MA11624

Ooh, that's a lot of stuff. I don't know what it means. However, this thing says on there, and I think we're live, and if we're live, in the beninging there was monkey and me. The banana man has yet again shown up with a monkey hand and fixed everything because monkey man is king. Well, I was going to use the first 10 minute segment to talk about stuff because I made a list of the top Christmas movies that come to the top of my head because we didn't get to do a Christmas episode last time. So, apologies. All right, we're actually live. Shout out, I'll turn the little light on. Here's what's going to happen. We're about halfway through the first 10 minute segment, and it's going to take more than five minutes to do the Christmas joke thingy I had lined up, and that was kind of going to be like the leading chunk into things. So, I have like totally other stuff prepared because I am not a absolute monkey brain. Um, oh, Uber has just done a big help for the alcoholics in the world. You can now have Uber and Instacart, or as far as I know, I don't remember Instacart doing it, but now like Uber Eats will just straight up drop off alcohol at your house within like an hour of you ordering it. So, you know, now you don't even have to drive and hit the liquor store bumpers because that's the funniest thing to me. I know there's a restaurant and it's like right across the street from, you know, one of the liquor stores, and the entire front of it, like those little cement guard things so that people don't crash into the store, all of them are bent, and I think that is hilarious because yo, that means a lot of people showed up already having fun, if you feel me, you know. But, I don't know, I didn't plan to, you know, have to monkey mechanic everything, activate grief monkey mode. Did y'all know that Wonka didn't use actual dwarves anymore, like they don't call up the midgets anymore because Peter Dinklage is a doo-doo head? Like he ruined it for all of them. Their entire movie, like the big part of a dwarf or someone with like, you know, like a little midget who wants to get into acting and everything, their guaranteed roles are usually elves, dwarves, and like in the mines and everything, or some type of like miniaturized character. Well, Peter Dinklage is a doo-doo head. He's like, well, guess what? I'm gonna lock it in to where only I can get these roles because if you only hire midgets to play dwarf roles, then you're being a meanie and that's not a lot. And it's like, bro, this man scammed all other little bros out of having little jobs. There are movies that only like happened because of the amount of dwarves they had. For instance, one incredibly overlooked George Lucas movie, Willow. Now, that movie literally lived off of the fact that they had a lot of dwarves. They didn't CGI a regular person into that size. The OG Willy Wonka used dwarves. And guess what? The OG Willy Wonka movie, slaps. Willow, slaps. Completely underrated and overhated. Like, no, it's not one of George Lucas' other movies like Indiana Jones or Star Wars. No, it was its own little fun fairy, well, not fairy, but like fantasy type thing. And you know, not everything is meant to be a franchise. Ooh, that's what I'm gonna talk about for the next minute and a half. Star Wars is dead. They are killing it even further somehow. People have been living off of the rotting corpse of Star Wars and now they're somehow figuring out more ways to desecrate it. So they're trying to completely retcon all of the just doo-doo they did to it and everything after completely squashing the awesomeness that was going to be the normal, the normal sequels that George Lucas wanted to do. Darth Maul came back anyway, because Darth Maul is that dude. He is him. He is the 100% Himalayan. So he was gonna come back. He was gonna have a daughter who was his apprentice. The Han Solo and Leia and then Luke's kids was gonna fight with them. He was gonna fight on behalf of Obi-Wan and all that. There was so much that was going to happen in it and you know, when they made it, it's like oh, all of a sudden there's like 35 Death Stars. Kylo Ren get all sad, boo-hoo. Dude, I didn't even bother watching. I saw like the clips and immediately knew they were gonna make this doo-doo. Like the only good thing about it is that Adam Driver is a good actor. Everything else washed. The new stuff they're planning to do is only going to further desecrate Star Wars. I hate it. Here's some music, bro. ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh you you you you all right um we're back I'm going to be incredibly loud because I don't know how long this thing is going to actually take so I didn't get to do a Christmas special um oops so I'm going to compress what I would have probably stretched out into the entire show into this 10-minute segment all right so of course we're going to start off with the obvious go-to for Christmas movies the greatest Christmas film one of the best movies ever made probably one of the most sincere heartfelt stories ever it's a wonderful life there is no downside to this movie this entire movie is pretty much perfection sentiments of sentimentality through the roof heartfeltness through the roof Christmas spirit through the roof iconic true pure just great storytelling through the roof the acting great all of these things magic true heartfelt magic that is why I don't care if it's just you know the cheap answer to pick it is the only right answer for the greatest Christmas movie there is I actually got to see it in theaters well no last year would be last Christmas so the year before that I got to see it in theaters and that was very much you know a different feeling to it um another classic for Christmas you got to have nightmare before Christmas I'm gonna try and do Christmas movies you know no Hallmark no none of that cuz Hallmark is doo-doo cheeks they have three stories they tell them over and over again and almost used like all the same actresses however Lacey Chabert hot um next thing nightmare before Christmas true classic you can watch it at Halloween and Christmas great Tim Burton movie great movie overall honestly I had a hat like carried a lot of weight got a lot more people into like stop-motion type things like I know I know a lot of people who were super influenced by that alone into actually caring about stop-motion Deadpool one the first Deadpool movie it is a Christmas movie a huge part of it takes place centering around Christmas Day itself so it's technically a Christmas movie I don't care that you know parts of the movie don't take place at it to count for me as like a Christmas movie type thing it doesn't have to be super focused on the spirit of Christmas but a large portion of it not a scene not a couple scenes but like a huge part of that movie needs to revolve around Christmas itself so that for one huge Christmas movie excellent movie you know probably one of the best movies to be considered well it's now owned by Marvel Disney again so hopefully they don't ruin it for the third which comes out this year because it's awesome Deadpool 2 isn't a Christmas movie however there's a Christmas edition there is and it's it's literally Christmas just version of the second movie now Die Hard 1 there's always been an argument whether Die Hard is a Christmas movie or not it is the entire thing takes place for a Christmas party and Nakatomi Plaza it's a Christmas movie however the argument people don't make that they need to make Die Hard 2 also takes place on Christmas time like that whole big thing except for you know instead of Nakatomi Plaza we're now in an airport but guess what it still takes place around Christmas doing Christmas stuff so it is a Christmas movie the Die Hards after that I don't remember them taking place around Christmas because then it goes Federal Reserve the bombing one for New York and then the hacker when it's the last one so the first two Die Hards Christmas movies now this is a new one but I think it is going to become like you know a winter it's really good and I really enjoyed it my mom enjoyed it too and it did give that like it had a nostalgia to it kind of because the way it was filmed and everything but holdovers it came out this winter and honestly it is it's a really good movie I really enjoyed it you know it's not super Christmas focus but it's focused on like that gap of Christmas time where you know people get lonely it gets harder to be like you know kind of reconcile with like certain life things that happen and I mean you know it's not like one of the super Christmas spirity ones and everything but it still has like a good story and everything um Bishop's Wife I finally got a round of watching this not Preacher's Wife with Denzel that's the remake I'm talking about the old OG Bishop's Wife now I don't know about you but I think gaslighting is hilarious and this movie exemplified gaslighting because it's like okay so Bishop's Wife an angel comes to help out a bishop and his wife and he starts like it's just a good movie about like being there matters more you need to focus on what you need to do to help others rather than what you think you want like putting your wants and highlighting it as oh I'm doing this to help I'm doing this to help when you're doing it for you I don't know it's a great movie though check it out next Christmas so there was that movie Jeannie that came out recently it wasn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be for a Megan McCarthy movie but that one that had some good like you know vibes to it and everything honestly it is it I wouldn't go out of my way to watch it again but like I don't know cuz my mom wanted to watch it cuz she thought it'd be funny and it wasn't she was right it wasn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be but I mean if she wanted to watch it again I wouldn't fist-fight her in the parking lot to not watch it however for Candy Cane Lane and that movie Xmas EX Spacemus like the dudes exes there those movies dog dog I want my time back that was that was a big miss absolutely huge miss it's very much big disappointment like it's just it really did suck the movies were they had like maybe one funny part in each and then the rest was very boring I guess or like they have like one cool shot every 30 even if you tried to turn off your brain to watch it it was still doo-doo um grandma got run over by a reindeer I feel like I feel like people who have watched that only saw it because it used to play on Cartoon Network back in the day and that movie I don't I don't remember enough about it to really have a super definitive take on it however I don't remember anything about it and that's not really a super good sign because seems like it sucked but okay so after that there's Oh Miracle on 34th now there have been a couple renditions of this and you know everyone argues about which one is better it's it's the original you can't capture that type of like heartfeltness that the old man who was playing Santa in that movie you can't capture that again because there was like a true sincerity that he just gave off and that's why that one's the best thing I've watched the others it's it's not as good the original Miracle on 34th Street is the one to go with because it's just a really great movie there's tons of stuff that true it's just a good all-around you know Christmas season movie Oh Scrooge with Bill Murray I like this movie a lot I think it's a very cool take on you know well the Christmas Carol I think it's super cool it's super it maintained like this is like the importance of the original while modernizing it in a way that didn't just completely sell it out down the river it had awesome visuals cool characters a lot of like cool back and forth between these characters that was funny and entertaining Scrooge is a really good Christmas Carol and there are a lot of Christmas Carols that like they may I haven't got I don't think I've gotten to see the actual 1921 but I saw the 1930s one so I'm gonna try and find that that'd be cool to watch but I didn't think it would take this long when we get back we'll finish the list baby here's some music all right we are back um where my let's go damn I let's go so we left off talking about Christmas Carols now honestly an underrated one Muppets I like the Muppets stuff I think it's funny it reminds me being a little kid and when I used to hang out at Disney a lot cuz I used to live in Florida and everything they used to go to Disney a lot and they had a Muppet thing there a Muppets theater I liked it um cuz I like the Muppets I grew up watching like their stuff so I liked it but the Muppets Christmas Carol sentimental however my favorite Christmas Carol gotta be the Jim Carrey one with like um it's when Disney had rights to it and what was they use like this CGI type thing and Jim Carrey played multiple characters in it but I've I really liked that one because it focused a lot more on like the whole crazy and how actually scary it would be instead of just oh you know it's just oh you should be happy like you still have the future to change oh your past you know you made the wrong decisions you should start making the right ones no it's like anyway this starving crazy child here ignorance this other ones shoot I forgot it now let's do this it's ignorance and is it jealousy I don't know but two little starving kids and they go crazy and everything and then you got the cool death one I really really like that because I think it's more you know hardcore telling of it because everyone usually tries to water it down and there's just like oh look at the poor sad kids and this one goes no this guy goes insane and he starts killing people this one goes to like the loony bin this is all your fault by the way because you know they're kind of your connections another great one the Mickey Mouse one where Scrooge McDuck is Ebeneezer I will I like that one too because it's it's the complete opposite it's super happy and cinnamon well not really sentimental I'm using that word too much it's super happy-go-lucky and very cartoon and fun and everything you know it's not this hyper seriousness it's you know the true kid Christmas spirit and it's I like it too it's very sweet oh another Jim Carrey one oh the I think it's Disney's Once Upon a Christmas where they have all the Christmas specials I also really like that a lot because it reminds me of my childhood and you know sometimes it's nice to like you know not have to like you know be all serious and everything it's just cool to like you know kick it back Oh Flintstones had a Christmas Carol too I don't remember that one as well I like the House of Mouse one better big breath um there's the OG Grinch but that got completely outshadowed by the Jim Carrey Grinch I haven't seen the last Grinch however the soundtrack has Tyler the Creator on it who absolutely killed it great soundtrack um however Jim Carrey owns the Grinch that man was awesome Santa's Slay S-L-A-Y I think it's funny it's supposed to be like Santa Claus is actually a demon type thing he was forced to do niceness for like a thousand years and now we can start messing stuff up again I thought it was funny because it had a WWE guy at a was it Adam Goldberg Goldberg no not Adam Goldberg the Goldberg wrestler dude he was there and he was just tearing up everybody I thought that was funny then you have Fred Claus which has Vince Vaughn in it that's that's a decent movie then you have Claus where it's K-L-A-U-S that's on Netflix that is a beautiful Christmas movie very very heartfelt I was not expecting something like that then there's Christmas Chronicles that has Kurt Russell violent night I finally got around to watching that I don't know why they made him a Viking instead of just like they made him Nordic instead of Germanic like old school back when they were pagan Viking types even though Saint Nick wasn't even too complicated history that we don't got time for so we're moving on to the next movie Tokyo Godfathers now when I went to see this I didn't realize it was actually a Christmas movie because I got to see this for the Satoshi Kon festival well yeah technically last year but this past December I got to see it that movie takes place around Christmas as well and it has some really really cool stuff it's not my favorite Satoshi Kon film or Satoshi Kon thing that I've seen but it's still really cool for what it is now you gotta see the Nutcracker live to truly capture it but the closest thing to that is Tom and Jerry's Nutcracker that is a Christmas must it isn't Christmas if you don't see it so you have to do it that and you know I'm so mad that Apple bought the rights to this to the Charlie Brown movies because I didn't get to watch Charlie Brown Christmas this year they own it and I'm I'm not paying for Apple TV to watch you know the Thanksgiving the Halloween and the Christmas one those are classics those should be aired on like available to everybody um last holiday oh that's the Queen Latifah movie that's that's also you know a cool movie and it has actors that I didn't realize you know don't want to play some major different roles compared to what they play in this movie it's it's pretty good oh the Tim Allen Santa Claus movies a lot of people really like those I'm not a super fan of them but I'm not gonna you know hate on them now the OG Silent Night Deadly Night that's for me a horror fan a very important Christmas classic however all of the sequels and the remake oh my gosh it's it's so bad it's funny so those those are actually kind of funny it's that bad there's a Christmas horror story where it opens with like this awesome fight between Krampus and Santa and then there's a weird storyline that goes through I don't remember that I just remember cool Santa Krampus fight um then the Krampus movie itself I feel like it could have done more but at the same time I still think you know it did enough for what it was P2 or platform to that takes place around Christmas I hate that movie it sucks don't watch it um jingle all the way am I the only person who the only thing from that movie they know about is the Santa fight and the turbo man suit and put that cookie down now there is nothing else I remember oh and Sinbad was in it or something um next elf we got a crunch this out elf super classic um I think Planes Trains Automobiles takes place around Christmas it starts at Thanksgiving or something Home Alone 1 & 2 gotta have those not Christmas without him all the other home loans do to AIDS um Christmas Story unpopular opinion that movie is so boring oh my god it makes my brain dead same with National Lampoon Christmas Vacation I'm not a fan who the second Tim Burton Batman movie with Danny DeVito that takes place around Christmas so it counts a big part of it is about Christmas like season so it counts as one same thing with Edward Scissorhands big part of it takes place on the importance of Christmas and him doing all that beautiful stuff watch Edward Scissorhands in the second Batman movie Lethal Weapon I'm pretty sure ooh first blood the Rambo movie that's it um eyes wide shut technically is one Polar Express completely overrated hook with Robin Williams Peter Pan one I love that movie watch it one of the Friday sequels I don't remember which but one of them takes place around Christmas I think the first Jumanji takes place kind of close to Christmas Princess Bride technically it is a Christmas movie because the old dude is reading the book around Christmas that's when the kid is sick oh the music's playing I gotta go fast um Gremlins 1 & Gremlins 2 those are around Christmas because the Gremlins are a Christmas gift ooh the OG Black Christmas it's a horror movie the original is great the other ones suck it's the one that like ooh they're calling inside the house type one you gotta watch it it's great um here's the music bye alright y'all we're gonna close it out um there's still a couple others or I don't know if y'all heard me cuz you know there's the there's also like you know nice guys with Ryan Gosling I think was Christmas oh speaking of Ryan Gosling before I go I don't know what award show it was but I told everyone the second I heard I'm just Ken I was like that's gonna be peaches for like the songs peaches was fun for the mean but for Barbie to be pretty much Mattel figuring out a way to super boost their stock of Barbie dolls and you know kind of plug that with a disguise like a gift wrapping up ooh girl power and then the male characters just completely stole the show like Will Ferrell was hilarious the entire time and then Ryan Gosling just completely stole the show like bro locked it down it was hilarious but yeah he was shocked that at one but okay back to Christmas movies I don't know if I said frosty the snowman that's one the Rudolph ones when he goes the OG and then when he goes to like the island of misfits toys I don't know I feel like I rushed him and I don't know which ones were I'm not hurt Princess Bride is a Christmas movie let me restate that before we go Princess Bride is a Christmas movie takes place around Christmas the book is a gift for Christmas I'm pretty sure because the kid is sick around winter so it's read around Christmas time that's why Deadpool 2's Christmas edition featured the same actor who played the kid in bed with Deadpool reading to him Deadpool 1 is a Christmas movie the first Rambo movie first blood that's a Christmas movie because it takes place around Christmas their Christmas lights everywhere all over the town the first two diehards are Christmas movies not just the first one the first two of them I don't know oh there's the horror movies Jack Frost's I don't know there are a lot of weird themed horror movies but a lot of them sucked to the point where like it worse than the p2 movie I talked about because I was dude wait but the good ones the OG black Christmas from the 1970s the I guess Krampus would be a good one that has some funny parts in it too I wouldn't count it as a horror but it's you know kind of spooky theme so I guess we'll just lump it in Nightmare Before Christmas where's I should organize this better cuz I am dummy dumb um silent night deadly night the original great one goodbye have fun hope you enjoyed