JESS AND JADE

Two friends, Jess and Jade, who both have ADHD, are doing a podcast episode together. They met on Instagram and bonded over their shared experiences with mental health and ADHD. They discuss the challenges they face, such as difficulty finding things, struggling with responsibility, and the anxiety that comes with it. They also talk about different symptoms of ADHD and how they vary from person to person. They touch on the topic of eye contact and how it affects their communication. Overall, they aim to raise awareness about ADHD, especially in girls, and let others know they are not alone. Hello guys, so I am back today and today we are doing an episode with my good friend Jade. I'm just going to say now, well, a few disclaimers actually. For one, we both have ADHD, so this could go anywhere. For two, we will be smoking, so deal with it and there might be awkward pauses and that's how it is. And I feel like there was another one, but it's always just the usual nerves that I have. So, I'm just going to start today by letting Jade introduce herself and just kind of say a little bit about how we know each other and then we'll go from there. Brilliant, yeah, so, hello, my name's Jade, as Jess said, just joined her on the podcast today, speaking quite a lot about lots of different things, mental health related, government, ADHD, and like she said, obviously there was quite a lot of pauses because this is how we are. So, yeah, talking about how we met, we actually met basically just on Instagram, social media, Jess has a group called Mental Health, and basically after I could go along, went along, I think it was last year, was it? Did have that. Went on the beach, didn't we? Yeah, we did. That was quite fun actually. Yeah, it was nice. Yeah, that was hilarious, yeah. Yeah, and then obviously we've just been like doing different things, haven't we really? So, we've walked together, have a catch up every now and again. Normally a rant, which is kind of how this got led to. Yeah. Do you want to explain a bit about that too? Because that was so weird, like, it was good though, good crack, but. So, yeah, and yeah, if you want to take it. Yeah, well, so basically, I was trying my hardest to go live on Instagram the other day. Oh my God, it was stressing me out. So, I kept trying to go live, but Instagram hates me, as I'll just put out there. And I did it about 10 times, literally, no joke, and it was just not, and nobody was joining. And I was like, okay, cool, great. And I was like, right, I'm going to try one more time and just hope for the fucking best. And I did it, and then you came on, and you were talking to me, then obviously you requested to join. So, not even meaning to. Exactly, so she accidentally joined my live and just popped up on the screen, both of us. And we literally, like, I was kind of halfway through a debate anyway, and then we just started debating, didn't we? And like, going off on a tangent at like 11 a.m. on probably like a Wednesday or whatever day it was. It was very random. Yeah, and we just thought, right, fuck it, we're doing a podcast, and we're going to do a rant. So, that's pretty much what we're here for today. We're doing a bit of a freestyle mixed with a bit of, you know, we've got some words on a piece of paper. We're going to hope for the best. I'm sure once we start and the nerves calm, we'll be all right. But should we start with, what should we start with? ADHD or the services or both? What do you think? I feel like we've wandered over ADHD more, so I feel like we should cover a bit of ground in that, and just explore ADHD for people who are out there who have it or think they have it, because you're not alone. Yeah, maybe lots of other girls think... If that's what you'd like to... Yeah, fuck you, boys. Seems to be a lot of that on this show. I need to go in the opposite direction. We'll fuck it up a bit. But, yeah, I definitely think females and ADHD is a big one that we should cover, and I think we kind of bonded over similarities with that, and the fucking constant struggle of having ADHD. There will be a lot of swearing, because I'm just going to be pure me today, why not? Well, I always am, but we'll do an ADHD version, because I'm sat really weird on my chair right now, and I'm like, yay! But, yeah, I think definitely raising awareness in girls, because I have so many people that come in and out my door, and they're like, I think I might have it, I'm not sure, but, yeah, probably. So, what type of symptoms should we go over? What pisses off most? Oh, what's hard? What's hard with ADHD in girls? Well, for me, personally, I think it's been over the years, I think I've struggled with different aspects of it with my life, so being able to find things quite a lot often, like obviously losing stuff, physically being able to actually look at things as well, like I don't know if you've ever noticed, or if you're ever going to try to find something, it can be right in front of you, but you just can't see it. It's not here. I used to have that quite a lot, especially when I was younger, and still getting into trouble, I remember specifically one time, I went upstairs and told to go and find my trainers, I was looking in my wardrobe for my trainers, couldn't find them, they were right in front of me, but I couldn't find them, and she was like, if I go downstairs, and I find them trainers, and obviously that just put a panic in a little five, six-year-old, so obviously at this point, she did not know I was ADHD, it's just completely saved it all, all throughout my life, it's just completely happened, not just with the trainers, do you know what I mean? Yeah, and yeah, just having the panic and stuff, and not being able to see it, particularly when it's in front of you, as well as losing it, quite a lot of rage as well, like personal, not really liking myself because I can't do certain things, because it's annoying when you can't find your phone, five times over, six times over, you've lost your keys, you've lost your bag, you've lost your coat, somehow you've lost your shoes, and then you've got to try and get out the door before you go to work. It ends up being like a self-infliction, doesn't it? Oh, there are times I've cried, and just been crawling on the floor, looking for my phone and my keys before work, just begging for it to stop, and the whole tears before work is all breaking down, and then having to go to work is just like... Everything's fine. Yeah, and that for me, over a period of time, especially as I've been an adult as well, the responsibility of trying to look after my own stuff, I think coming out with us being like a child, going into adulthood, being able to be responsible for locking the house up, looking after the keys, so all of that has been a lot for me as well, to stay on board and get along with, I think that's why I've came to a lot of breakdowns, because it's just too much, simple as that, too much, especially when you try to do normal life, well, you say normal, but it's way worse. Yeah, because this is just one symptom, isn't it? This is one symptom of ADHD. Never mind the rest. Yeah, literally, I've just gone into one symptom there, I felt how painful it was for me as a child, and even just up to date now, but that's not... It gives you a lingering anxiety, doesn't it? I'm the same. The amount of neighbours that knock on my door, and they're like, your keys are on the outside, and I'm like, oh my fucking God. Most of my problems are literally caused by myself, with stupid mistakes. I know, it's crazy, isn't it? But I don't know how that is for you personally, Jess, but for me, that's really difficult. Oh, yeah. That's really difficult to get. I've definitely learned to manage it, but it's took a lot, and if you can hear dogs barking in the background, that's just special effects, that's the security in case you fuck with us, do you know what I mean? But I definitely think, you know, even now, like my ADHD, because the dogs are not barking, my brain's just like, wee! Yeah, it is hard, though, and I think that's a difficult thing with podcasting, because I literally fuck up half the words I say, and when I get nervous, I struggle with my communicating, making eye contact, even though I'm definitely getting skilled at it. That's one thing. Do you not struggle with eye contact? I don't think so, no. See, we're all different, though, isn't that crazy? Even though we're similar, there is so many different things, like I was talking to somebody, not long ago, about textures, and I struggle a lot with some sensory issues, and somebody was going on about how they struggle with textures, but it was completely different things to what man were, and I was like, oh my God, it's so much, because I don't know, I get it in my head that everyone with ADHD is the same, but we're not, we've got all these different spectrum of symptoms, and it's like, Jesus Christ. It's all because of some stuff, I mean, it's like, it's obviously like the normal human population, it's not obviously all of us are good at some stuff, but with ADHD, again, it's the same thing, isn't it? Like, you're saying there, you do struggle with eye contact, where, generally speaking, I don't. I don't think, and I think it's for me as well, because there'll be different reasons, like some days I actually do struggle with it, and I don't want to look people in the eyes, and it's just because, I guess, maybe it's a bit of, you know, not feeling too good on that day as well. You're not wanting to connect with people sometimes, and keeping yourself. Yeah, I guess, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think, it all, right, so I'll kind of explain this story, my eye contact thing, but this is also a debate for you afterwards. So, with eye contact, for me, I've struggled for it a lot, but I think it was definitely from, like, being a kid with my dad, he kind of used to scare me that much, that when he'd shout at me, I wouldn't be able to look up, like, I'd just be so scared, that I'd constantly, like, look at the floor. But as I got older, it just made me, like, uncomfortable, like, as if it was like a power move, you know, with eye contact. So I'd always, like, submit, but when I went into counselling, one of the main skills that you need is eye contact, because it's, like, communicating, like we are right now, it creates that depth, it's, like, showing that you're listening. It's very personal. Yeah, it is very personal, I think that was a problem for me. But here's a debate one for you. What is your opinion on, do you think you're born with it, or you develop it? I think, honestly, I think there's so many answers to that, in the fact that it could literally be both, and singlet together, do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? Literally, you could have it from you're born, and then develop it as well, do you know what I mean? Which makes it difficult, or you could be born with it. And just born with it. Yeah, yeah. Or just, you know, get it there and run a knife, depending on what's happened to you, and your life experience, and things from being born, or whatever, I don't know. But generally speaking, yeah, I think it's a bit of both. A bit of both. I do kind of think it's both. I feel like it can be definitely genetic, and be passed down, and things like that. Yeah, especially like if you, I mean, obviously, it's a different spectrum, so if you're autistic, and things like that, it can be quite difficult for people to ask you to maintain eye contact, and stuff, and I think when I was younger, I used to struggle, I think, with you as a child, because, like, your parents do try to stay in contact, just to know that, you know, that you're doing well, or whatever, but, yeah. It's after a vaccine. Because I think it's a genetic thing, definitely. Yeah. It can be caused by, yeah, I think it can definitely, like, affect symptoms as you're growing up, and things like that. Yeah, I think even little things, like, even, I say little things like that, but actually, like, if it affects you, it affects me. No, I get you, yeah. Mm. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's an interesting one, that. What other symptoms? I'd say the anger issues one is good, because, you know, I've learned to control it in ways, mine, I feel like patience, like, I used to just snap all the time, very easily, and just lose my shit all the time, like, every day. Now I'd say, I have, like, semi-control over it, but then, it's still, like, then it's more the other side of it building up, and being, like, more rage, do you know what I mean, than just spurts of it. Yeah. Yeah, it's hard, isn't it? I feel like it's definitely not something you can just escape, like, I don't know, well, I do, it's obviously, like, rooted in things like that, but, it's literally the emotional irregulation, like, not being able to regulate your emotions, I think, because even, like, being overstimulated, and being excitable, and being, like, over-happy, because if I'm happy, and I'm proper happy, I'm like, wow, and I'm wild, you know what I mean, and I'm, like, uncontrollable. Yeah, I understand, yeah, I love that. But it's very rare, but I'm just, like, but I'll swear and everything, and I'll be, like, proper in my zone, and then everyone's, like, ready to calm down, and I'm like, you've just crushed me. Yeah, no, sometimes it can literally just take it away from you, like, as soon as someone says that, it just literally goes to people. I know, it's like, I'd rather be, like, overstimulated like this, and happy, than, like, the usual angry, or stressed, or, you know, hmm. Yeah, well, for me, as I was saying to you there, obviously, you know, with ADHD, it can co-exist with other conditions, as well, which means, for me, things tighten, again, it feels worse, or unmanageable, or, hmm. Yeah, I definitely agree, they can definitely co-exist in multiples, like, and I've got a list of all of my mental health issues in a row. I mean, they're improving, they are, but, yeah, it's definitely, yeah. I think, as well, like, going through the system, I think people are often put off. I don't even think I can try and tell them not to be put off, because, if we start to move on to more of, like, our experiences with the system, and things like that, and, I don't know, me, personally, with getting diagnosed, and stuff, it has been, like, a bit of a shit show, like, struggling to get diagnosed, or, being turned away, different things, like. It's more stigmatical, as well, isn't it? Especially with the fact that there was recently, you know, the news about people being diagnosed at the clinics, you know, in London, various places in the UK, or whatever, privately diagnosed with the system. And, obviously, people were, like, saying, you know, most of them do get diagnosed, but, they've literally got to pay. Yeah, and sometimes, I think, there is that idea, isn't it, that when you are paying, I think you almost, they probably feel like they almost, maybe feel like they need to give everyone that diagnosis, I don't know, if that's a dynamic from looking at it that way, but, there's also a situation that, obviously, these people who do get diagnosed, or don't, and then there's news about it, like, there has been, that stigma around ADHD, as well, because it's still core, you know, misunderstood massively. Because, I think, obviously, it's looked at like a naughty boy syndrome, that's exactly what I've heard it as, by other people, but, you know, being loud, rowdy, getting into trouble, being a chemist, not being able to sit down, you know, all that sort of stuff that you hear about, but with girls, obviously, it can be completely different, but, for me, as a child, I used to always get, like, in assemblies and stuff, I, I constantly look like I'm miles away, like, I don't know what that is, but, I just, I am, I am constantly miles away, like, I can literally, like, just, mouth open, catching flies, do you know what I mean? Be that far away, just in my own mind, just, you know, and there's so many thoughts going on in my head and stuff, and so, for me, that's where, like, it's been difficult growing up and stuff, I think that's difficult to speak about. Yeah. Yeah, I think, it is. And obviously, like we were saying, that does present differently in girls, doesn't it? Like, obviously, I was saying, you know, in assemblies, people are there. Yeah. Yeah, masks, what are the ways that girls, you know, they use it, which is, that you, you know. I'd say, especially for girls, hiding it, like, rejection to things, or. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, struggling with criticism. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.