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Talk: 20080627-Larry_Rosenberg-IMSRC-taking_a_fresh_look_at_life_on_retreat_part_4-3767 Leandra Tejedor.json Start_time: 00:39:10 Display_question: I’m struggling with the teachings of non-attachment and love. Isn’t it good to love, and wanting, to be loved? Keyword_search: attachment, love, unconditional, Buddha, wisdom, death, silence, letting go, suffering, wanting/not wanting Question_content: Questioner: A lot of what you guys are talking about is not…not wanting to be like… wanting to be not attached to whatever people think of you Larry: That sounds like another attachment. But go ahead. I'm sorry. Questioner: Yeah. What about love? Don’t people want to be loved? Isn’t it good to want to be loved? Larry: Yeah. What about love? The whole practice is all about love. In other words, if meditation, as it starts become real meditation, I mean sustained, it's quite powerful. It's an explosion of love. If you're not feeling more loving after doing this, for a while, try to find out what you're doing. Check in with someone. Because it's all about love. And love and wisdom can't be separated. Now, to begin with, first of all, the word love, I'm not sure I know what you mean, because it's so misused. It's in every popular song. If you leave me, honey, baby, and you don't love me… the love, the love that I'm talking about right now, is unconditional, and it can accompany the sexual act. It's not an enemy of sex, as some religions do separate that. But it also isn't dependent on it. It's a force in the universe as powerful as death. Break_line: So, of course, this is about love. That silence. If you don't experience love, and we have actual practices where you cultivate it, from the outside in. We haven't been doing those practices through just these seven days. There's a lot more to the Buddha’s teaching, then what we're doing. But I feel this is the essence of it. This is the wisdom component. Seeing the way things are, and learning. Now, the letting go. It's not that you try to let go because that would be a struggle. First off, do you think that attachment…have you found to be true in your life? That attachment leads to suffering? Questioner: I’ve been thinking about it. Larry: Okay. Just thinking about it. But now, the next time you're suffering, don't be in a hurry to not suffer. See if you can look at it, and see if there isn't some attachment there. Now then…I'm just following up. Then the question might be, well, aren't. How can you love, without getting attached. Is that what you're getting at? To some degree. Questioner: It feels like I want to love, and I don’t know if I would be able to relinquish that. Larry: No one's telling you to relinquish that. Is there anyone here who doesn't want to be loved? I hate love. Can't stand it. Hate is what I like. No, of course. Sure. Look, start where you are. Now you're wanting to be loved. That has to be lived with, and understood, because that may be blocking you from getting love. I don't know. Okay, I don't know you. So, I'm just…seriously, I'm speaking in general, but it’s not… we're not setting up an ideal of what you can, but I don't think we're trying to do that. The wise, compassionate, totally selfless, extraordinary… at all. What we're saying is, start where you are. And if that's a feeling you have, start there. But I would say everyone, it's just human. It's like sunshine. We need to be loved, and also to love. Break_line: But now often attachment. But that isn't your question, so I don't want to add on to it. But love is central. And one way that it starts to grow is see what's blocking you from it. First, your own ability to love others. And if you feel you're not getting enough, what's that about? What does that feel like when you feel you're not getting…not feeling loved, but to have the yearning to be loved. I think we all have that. The yearning doesn't necessarily bring it. In fact, often it's a barrier to it. But the practice is certainly about love. Of course. Does that make any sense to you? Questioner: Sort of. Larry: Sort of. I see a very subtle but in there. Your but's in there. Is there a little bit of a but? Questioner: I’m just trying to figure out if it’s okay to feel…. Larry: It’s okay to what? Questioner: When it’s ok to feel a lot? Larry: Look, we I don't think we've told you, what to want, and not want. So, keep wanting what, and not wanting, whatever you want. But no, seriously, but explore what happens, as you do that. That's what I mean, learning how to live. Find out if what you want, what's the consequences of wanting whatever you want, or not wanting. And it's true. Wisdom is learning how to nourish, and strengthen those urges in us, that are beneficial, and to unlearn, to withdraw nourishment from those yearnings, or urges, not love, that seem to be harmful. But each person has to come upon that themselves, because it's just the word l-o-v-e. And how you mean it, may not be, how I mean it. I don't mean mine is superior. Just finally, it's not the word. But start where you are. But certainly, love is a central part of being alive. End_time: 00:45:07
