Q1-20000202-Larry_Rosenberg-UNK-shining_the_light_of_death_on_life_part_11-43033 Leandra Tejedor

Talk: 20000202-Larry_Rosenberg-UNK-shining_the_light_of_death_on_life_part_11-43033 Leandra Tejedor.json Start_time: 01:02:49 Display_question: One thing I’ve noticed, and I am curious about is, it seems my mind doesn’t feel any older, or younger. Keyword_search: mind, awareness, mindfulness, clear mirror, compost bin, life, death, anxiety, aging, delusion, Bhagavad Gita, faith, thought, Ajahn. Mahabua, Straight from the Heart, Woody Allen, mastery of the moment, Buddhist psychology Question_content: Questioner: Something that I've been that I've noticed for a while just by doing the practice as you've suggested it. I read an article in some magazine where I saw that a while ago. Larry: I'm sorry magazine? Questioner: The practice as you described. I think it was in Price, a long time ago, something like that. But at any rate, the thing that I've noticed really is, and I don't know if this is how it makes it easier to get tricked into thinking you're not going to die, but there is a part like the mind doesn't feel like it's any older, or younger ,or something. That's the thing I've noticed a lot. Maybe. It’s more relaxed than it was when I was younger, but it doesn't feel any older. Larry: Awareness isn't older. Awareness doesn't get older. Not the preliminary, tentative kind of mindfulness we struggle with, as we begin with, but there's a place of knowing, and that's where the practice is going, that it doesn't get older. It's like a clear mirror. It will reflect age. Now, you can take this as theory if you like, because until you verify it for yourself, it is theory. So that may not be so terrible. But does anything ever come up about your aging or these things? Questioner: Well, what I've noticed about… well the thing that really has come up is really, actually that I have a compost bin, and dirt comes out at the bottom, and somehow or other, the realization that this body has to die, in order for life to continue. I mean, if we didn't die, there wouldn't be any life. If things didn't die, there wouldn't be dirt. Nothing else would grow up. And somehow the connection between those two, just at least gives me some faith, that there is something that's deathless, and that the body dying, isn't a bad thing. It's not like I'm free of anxiety about dying. Larry: But does it bring up anxiety, ever? Questioner: Well, it certainly at first, when I reflected on it, it did definitely bring up Larry: Were you able to practice with it? Questioner: Yeah. Larry: Okay. Now the other part, though, to back up a moment, when you feel that, well, I'm not aging, I don't feel like I'm at all. That can also be the delusion that I'm talking about. Questioner: Yeah. Larry: One is clear mind, which is it has no beginning, or end. It doesn't get born, or it doesn't die. And there is until you taste it yourself. You don't have to, but you may want to take it on faith. But then there's another, which is a very common human characteristic, which is, I'm the same person. What do you mean we don't feel it? It doesn't seem real to us. But sensitivity can discern the difference between just clear seeing, and a nice comfy mind state, that doesn't want to know about any of this. In the Bhagavad Gita. I forgot who says it? Arjuna? I'm not sure anyone here can help me. Okay. The Westerners know about the Gita, and the Indians don't anymore. All right. He says, the strangest thing in life is how it's possible to see everyone around you dying, and still not realize that it's going to happen to you as well. So doesn't surprise me. But see, this is designed to throw a monkey wrench into the system, and stir things up. But also, life stirs things up. Has it ever happened just naturally? Questioner: Yeah. Larry: It can come at any time. Questioner: Absolutely Larry: A plane crash, a movie, anything can do it. Questioner: My ex-wife has really bad cancer. Larry: Did you practice with it? Questioner: Yeah, absolutely. Larry: Okay. That's the key. Questioner: I guess the part I was like bring up was just the part you were talking about, at the end. There's an easy part for it to slip into that part, that is clear seeing can easily slip into that delusion. Larry: Then it's not clear seeing anymore. Questioner: Yeah, it does change, but it sort of comes from the same place. That's the part I kind of baffles me. Larry: Well, the clouds have obscured the moon. And so, at that point, the awareness is not where you're at anymore. But it's thoughts, isn't it? Questioner: Yeah. Larry: Maybe a glimmer of some there's some mindfulness, but it's overwhelmed by emotion, or thought, or notions, or imagery, or what have you. Yeah. Questioner: It’s like a slight case of indifference, or something like that. Larry: Well, maybe this will help you. What is being said in the teachings Ajahn. Mahabua, and it's either in Straight from the Heart, or books in our library, is at the time of death, if the person has a really strong practice, it's very, very clear that everything is dying, but not the awareness. So, we're not in that state yet to test ourselves. So, I don't know what will happen with me. I'm not arrogant, or cocky enough to just say, of course I would like to die. I don't agree with Woody Allen. I am afraid of death, and I want to be there when it happens, but I want to be equipped to be there in a way. I'm not looking to make myself bewildered, and terrified. And it's not like I'm doing this, in order to someday, when death comes, then I'll be up to it. Because the same training that's good for life is, also good for death. That's what I mean by, it's mastery of the moment. Break_line: Because our Buddhist psychology is, a psychology of momentariness, and life is lived out. Have you noticed? There's no past or future, really. It's just now, it's all there's ever going to be. So, the same training carries over, and we'll find out, all of us, graduation day, when it happens. But I would say that's wonderful that, you're remembering the practice. Often, even very committed practitioners, at those moments, practice in the moth balls. It's very easy to lose it then, because it's a very powerful mood, that catches hold of you, or pain. End_time: 01:09:20